My "whine moment today." What's yours?

CarolAnn, one suggestion is to check with your local council on Aging to see what types of programs are available to help you with your Dad. If you live in the States go to the website link below.... click on your State... now click on your city/county.

https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging

My whine of the day. My dad is in the early throes of dementia. He repeats the same stories every day, every hour, sometimes every half hour. If you don't listen, he sulks and says I should go to a home. At this point, he can't afford assisted/personal care. Without a doctor's recommendation, no insurance. I know, because after hearing his army story for the umpteenth time, I guiltily looked into it. He's been living with us for 3 months and he has not stopped talking. Literally, dad spends his waking hours talking. My husband and I haven't heard a TV show since his arrival.

And, if I call my husband, "Honey" or "lovebug", my father answers everytime.

He is clean, can heat his coffee, bathe. So I guess I have it pretty good.

Whew. That's my whine of the day. LOL. I hope to God, that my family will be patient with me when I get there. . We all will.

Jessie, thanks for the laugh when I read "you can probably pick up an ear trumpet at that place where they sell helmets".... how true :)

Susan, I'm going to the dollar store...woo hoo!! and that will be my break for the week most likely... :)

I hear that, Hope. No one has any right to say something like that to ANYONE, not knowing their circumstances intimately - so whether they were talking about your Mama or not is irrelevant. They shouldn't even bring that sort of thing up. I *do* know people that "game the system", so to speak, and have done so all their lives - having been taught to do it by their own parents. THOSE are the people that need to hear that conversation, not those who are legitimately seeking help for their loved one, regardless of the amount of time they end up on Hospice. Stepping off my soapbox.

Dee, I hope you can get some downtime after that stint at the doc's. You probably read every magazine in the waiting room.

I'm needing a social media break myself, other than what I have to do for my business. I am on the edge of annoyance today, trying to keep my head above water with my work, finances (which means taking on more work), projects around the house sucking money out of my wallet (again, the reason for more work), Mom's ever-increasing demands (which seem to get worse by the week).....I can see the writing on the wall..it's not going to take much to tip me over the edge into total irritation. Seeing everyone posting on Facebook about all the fun things they're doing, how much they love their spouse/significant other, the "girls night out" planned for a group of friends, friends going on vacation to sunny locales....today is one of those days I *don't* need to see that sh*t. So I'm taking a break from FB for today, only leaving it open for messages related to my clients' work (I manage their FB groups for them). Otherwise, I'm not on there. Turned off chat and am ignoring notifications unless they're business related.

(sigh) I have to get groceries tonight. I guess I'll look at it as a mini-vacation. Go me. That's if I have any money left after I pay my bills and the ones of Mom's that she couldn't afford this month. Gotta love the stupid property taxes. I'm thankful that I have the ability to work from home, and to pick up new clients when I need extra money to cover Mom's bills - but I'm just about killing myself working so many hours every week trying to make extra money to make ends meet and do the projects we want to do around the house. Mom's tub cut-down is scheduled for the end of the month, so this week's paycheck has to cover the bills and groceries while next week's and the week after will have to go almost entirely to cover the cost of the tub work. *Maybe* (hoping hoping hoping) Mom won't give me such a hard time about showering after that's done. I suspect she still will, though...it's just part of the territory.

3 hours at the eye doctor's with mom. Yeah. 3. I need a nap.

I have been following a thread off and on regarding hospice care and while I have had my ups and downs about hospice, I do know that I honestly do not think I could have continued to care for Mama as I have without them...especially now that I have found one who truly is what I think a hospice should do, provide comfort and support for end of life patients.

As most of you know, Mama has been on hospice now for over a year...14 months 2 weeks to be exact. She is totally bedfast, cannot eat anything other than her nutritional drinks, cannot move unless I lift her, and has advance AD...I would give anything to not have to have Mama on hospice...anything....but nonetheless I want to have her with me as long as possible, as long as she is happy and comfortable...

This morning someone on the thread eluded to the fact that they were shocked when they heard someone had been on hospice for two years...we are not there yet of course, but headed there God willing...they also commented regarding the necessity of testing, etc. by Medicare and implied that some families might want to be on hospice for free meds and help and it was not right....I am LIVID. Whether they were talking about my Mama or not...I would give anything to not have to have her in a hospice program, but I can damn well tell you that if anyone ever deserve any help they get from anyone it is my Mama....I best get off here.......I know a lot of people have had bad experiences with hospice...I did as well and that is why I was proactive in finding a better one..and did....I can assure you that we would not be in the program if we did not qualify....overly sensitive...yep....worn out...definitely...but why would anyone on here imply such a thing, Every now and then I wonder why I get on here......

What's going on hope?

OHHHH!!! Veronica!! LMAO!!!!!!

geeewhiz, this time I did have coffee and splattered the screen!!

Talk about whoooooosh, right over my head .... hehe, you are too funny!!

Oh, by the way. He only has ONE of those ;)

Wow.....just wow is all I have to say this morning.... :(

freqflyer, you can probably pick up an ear trumpet at that place where they sell helmets. :)

Jeanette, I'm so glad you're enjoying your time.

Dee take it from one who has A fib, they will never catch the episodes you have to go to the ER while you are fluttering and they will do an EKG then you will know. they should know if you have a mitral valve prolapse if they did an echo cardiogram. Has anyone heard a heart murmer? this really is serious and can be easily treated. Have any blood thiners been prescribed? You need to see a proper cardiologist not just your PCP. make sure it is someone board certified in cardiology. Unless you want your Mom to outlive you you need help at once not "when you get round to it"

Jeanette I was not talking about not feeding the ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but what you get done to male doggies when you first get them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeegads Veronica!! I did feed my ex!, tried to cuddle with him too!! LOL Oh... those canine boys, are actually girls.... cept the old fellow. No, I actually don't care, not anymore. Phhbbbtttt. The ex never did like hiking, fishing, swimming....huh?, why did I marry him?

Dee.... I know, my heart aches for my mom as well. The Lion King song, The Circle of Life, has been playing in my head for days now. Stopping most medications can cause some wicked side effects, add AD to the mix and you might get that banging all night long. I do hope she starts sleeping better. Hey, just take your garden hose and smoosh down that dog poop, fertilizer ya know?

How do you two know it's heart palpitations? Personally, I'd be worried and seriously working on my OWN doctor appointment. Please take care of yourselves. We didn't come this far to check out before our loved one. ps, didn't I warn everyone NOT to make morning appointments? Yikes!

Stopped by and visited mom today.... they have a lovely kitchen where I can make her a milkshake and a snack. She's been sleepy most of the day but was still a bit talkative. Held her hand and showed her pics of the fish they caught yesterday. Her comment was "I'll be damned"! ha... love that lady. Feeling a tad guilty since I mentioned to the nurse I might be back to have dinner with her....well, I didn't make it. She will be fine ... my head needs to realize this.

Fish fry time :)

Captain might think this is too girly but he should pick up one of those hot wax contraptions. It melts paraffin wax not too hot you dip your hand in it several times and then put on plastic gloves to retain the heat and it feels so good on your hands. Though I suppose one could google the instructions to make is it rice sewn into fabric heat in microwave for make some sort that looks like a glove and let the heat penetrate.
Too sad about the aging dog. My oldest cat is 10 which is not really old for a cat but he is such a skinny critter. My husband and I take walks around our property and three of the cats follow us like dogs!

(Put down coffee before reading Jeanette)

Oh dear Jeanette if you had done to hubby when you first got him what you did to canine boys he would never have strayed, as if you care!!!!!!!

Hi Jeanette - glad you're having some time with your brothers and you're having a great time! My back's finally better. Now still dealing with the chest discomfort. It's eased up a bit - seems to be following previous episodes. If I still feel bad in a day or two I'll get someone to watch Ma and get over to doctor. Hope - I've had heart palpitations a lot. I'm supposed to avoid caffeine. When it first started happening I went through a lot of tests - they could never catch the activity. Doctor says I may or may not have mitral valve prolapse - so much for a diagnosis, right? Still it's best to get it checked.

My mom's been depressed for a couple of days. She gave us such a hard time about going to the doc the other day, I tried to be stern with her, guilt trip her, etc. I'm so rotten. She finally gave in. Boy, was she a happy camper when she found out her thyroid can be treated and cancer is unlikely. The day after though, she was so depressed. We ran out of her antidepressant and pharmacy/doctor's office didn't manage to get together on refilling the prescription so I had to make a couple of calls to make it happen. I'm hoping her bad mood is from being off the anti-depressant for 3-4 days and that now she'll start feeling better - poor ma! She's sleeping better at night since I restarted it. Tomorrow's her eye doctor appointment - 9:30 a.m. - this should be interesting trying to get her up and moving that early. I have to get her up at 8:00 a.m. on weekdays since morning caregiver can't transfer her. But mom spends the day on the couch and can sleep when she gets tired. Morning appointments usually aren't a good idea, but it's hard to get a Saturday appointment and they close at noon. Her vision is so bad now. My heart aches for her. Lots to do this weekend - the yard is terrible with dog poop and cardboard boxes from the Depends shipments (I save them for the gardens). Ugh. Hope it's nice enough to get mom to sit outside for a while. Everyone have a great weekend!

Jeanette!!!! Yay! Sounds like you are getting to enjoy some down time...that fishing trip sounds like a lot of fun.. so happy for you.....yes, that old saying is a favorite of mine...I just can't be worried these days whether everything is not neat and tidy as it used to be when I don't feel well...Yesterday I kept pushing and was actually ready to hit the yard, even though it had been raining all day, the rain had paused a while so I decided to do what I could til it started up again.....I was ready to hit it, and then my heart started doing fluttery stuff...I didn't feel pain, just a lot of weird fluttering and my legs felt like I was wearing lead boots....I kep trying but then thought,,, why???? I looked at Mama and she looked so cozy and was snoozing away...and piled on her bed beside her little cats...so I just got comfortable and took a nap instead...woke up feeling a tinge of guilt....but not enough to make me lose any sleep over it....

If this rain doesn't let up I don't know what I'm going to look like...I have to be able to play in the yard and I am convinced the lack of sun is sending my head into a fog...

Yesterday took Mom to get her hearing aid which I had to take in couple weeks ago for repair [I think Dad got out his toolbox and was trying to fix it.. oops]. The audiologist tried to take out of Mom's ear some skin flakes but Mom kept saying what the lady was doing was hurting her too much... [sigh].... Mom has yet to learn that a minute of discomfort would help her hear much better. Those skin flakes are going into her ear canal and if one tiny flake gets on the hearing aid part that goes into her ear, the hearing aid won't work.

The saga continues after we are heading home, Mom is saying "this hearing aid still doesn't work", "the hearing aid must be someone's elses", "the hearing aid is a recycled hearing aid, not a new one", "let's try that new hearing store over in the mall".

Where can I buy an old fashioned ear trumpet? :P

Veronica, I've been wanting to switch to the Blue dog food. My two bigger dogs have started grazing like d*mn cattle, not to mention we all look like out of shape heifers after this long boring SNAIL like winter. Wait, my 80 lb pibble is more like a 90 lb hippo :p All 3 of us are going on a long hike today ( if I can manage to walk that far) ... of course I'm taking my fishing pole :) oh oh, I did go drifting down the river with both brothers yesterday. Tweedledumb caught his record steelhead trout. An 18 pounder! Ha! He didn't even want to go... other brother caught a 12 pounder, me? I was just enjoying the freedom and happy banter with them. I will eventually catch my steelhead, until then, I'm happy catching my 1 lb tasty trout. Wait, I got off track.... out of shape, OMG, if I ever get back to where I was a year ago, I will never let it get this bad again. Never! This is ridiculous.

Susan, don't give up on your big guy just yet, it could be something as simple as allergies. Bigger dogs do have shorter life spans, that it true, but... I know I will say a prayer for him cuz I SO understand that special bond especially going through tough times. Okay, you know your an animal lover if you've heard this from a spouse or SO before. "You love that dog more than you love me"! LOL ex husband "used" to say it all the time, well, he's working on wife #3 since our divorce and I still have the same 2 dogs we had together. HA! cheating bastard... dogs are loyal ;)

Hope, there is a saying I have always loved. Why do things today when you can do them tomorrow. :) it's been a favorite motto of mine since I heard so long ago. Oh speaking of the Chaplain... he's the only Hospice person I've yet to meet. He's called twice now but.... I'm not ready to bare my soul just yet. One day, just not yet. I can't even imagine the blubbering pile of tears I'd turn into. What is UP with the crying?

Dee, how's the back? Did you manage to get some sleep? Even though my mom's on her vacation for 5 days I still can't sleep. Gonna try some nyquil Z tonight after my adventure today and see if that helps. No sleep = no fun.

One more funny thing I've noticed. I think my son is on strike with me. Guess he's gonna SHOW me he can marry and move wherever he wants and guess SHE'S gonna show me she wins. Haha, no honey.... I WIN, he's now your child. Just don't call me to bail you out.... call and ask how we are doing and make small chit chat or just don't call.

endofrope, your suggestion for arthritis?.... LOVE IT, and I'm pretty sure Cap has tried that remedy a few times ;)

I hope all your pups are doing better tonight...I know how much I worry when my furtots are feeling puny...praying for all to have a good restful night...

btw...love your profile pic endofrope...too cute!

LOL..funny Captain...even though you and I are on opposite ends of the universe regarding pets I suppose, your comment was comical...tough guy.....Jeanette, I meant to tell you earlier that I tend to cry at the drop of a hat, or a cat food commercial too these days...I will not even feel like I'm going to get emotional and someone will stop by and bring something up and I'm off like a herd of turtles...

I did it the other day when the Chaplain popped in...that may stop him from popping in on me again...ha...

I have been playing fetch with my cat....one of the cutest little things I've seen in a while...who knew cats could ...or would play fetch...she's a smart little thing...and she makes me smile....

I started a million things today and accomplished absolutely nothing...I hate it when that happens, but all in all a decent day nonetheless...I'm pretty sure it will all be here tomorrow...and the day after tomorrow....

Thanks for the concern for my pup. The odd thing is that all the panting and such has subsided tonight. Weird. Not sure if he just wasn't feeling well, had anxiety or what exactly his trouble was. I do plan to pay the extra to have the "elderly dog blood panel" run when he goes in to see the vet, just to rule out any cancers or other issues that those tests detect, as well as his annual heartworm check. He is very close to the higher end of his breed's lifespan, which makes me very sad. We've had him since he was a puppy, and he's been with me through thick and thin for the past 9 years. I strongly suspect the vet is going to tell me what he's going through is just part and parcel of the aging process.

LOL! I just went to the last page here and I will say that this is the most "interesting" bunch of posts I've seen on any thread. Captain, I'd suggest drugs or alcohol, but stay off of ladders. I'd be happy to prey for pets, but I imagine it would do about as much good as preying for a quick "resolution" to the never ending nuthouse saga that is my life.

sea snails all call each other ' bloop '
yea i still lurk around here a bit but when youall are praying for each others' pets n sh*t i go clear to the other end of the web to avoid conflict .
im researching what to do about my arthritic hands and worn out spine . easing up on hard work is just not on the table for consideration .

Sounds like a great place Jeanette! That should help alleviate most of your anxiety about the respite...we don't have anything like that around here as far as I know...but the NH Mama went to was very nice. I could actually envision myself being pretty content there some day (hopefully a long time down the road) but not the typical NH settling like most of us are used to seeing...so glad you're at least starting to unwind a little.. enjoy that cruise down the river...that would be great for all of you...and I bet your Mom is going to enjoy her little vacation. Sometimes I think Mama enjoys when I do leave the house for a while and let my brother stay with her...probably a welcome break for her too.. lol

Cm I think the answer to why does a sea snail need to improve his memory comes under the heading of 'why does the chicken need to cross the road?"

Sorry Jeanette it was obviously Susan's pup I was posting about

Susan it sounds as though your pup could have heart problems with all the panting and not eating all his food at once. If that is the case the vet will be able to make him more comfortable. Animals are able to hide their illnesses for so long then they suddenly seem to crash.