My "whine moment today." What's yours?

I am in so much pain today (I have fibromyalgia) and I so desperately just want to spend the day in bed watching movies. Sigh - keep dreaming - that NEVER happens. Even when we hurt or are sick, the role of caregiver never allows for any down time. I am so tired of the constant demands.

endofrope, I like your style!! LOL!! I tend to have several glasses of vino at the end of the day ... helps me sleep!! I let my mother eat whatever she wants whenever she wants to eat it.

ff, If I remember correctly (God knows I freak out when I start forgetting things) you left your helmet in a store while looking for a trumpet for your moms ears? LOL!

I do have a small tiny whine.... Hospice House sent mom home without her having a BM in 3 days. I doubled her sennot and still nothing. Told the nurse that saw her yesterday I was not putting a suppository in. She went to do it but they didn't put them in her med bag. Hopefully she comes by today with them and does it. She said she would....

Operation reinforce fence was awesome!! Had both brothers and my young helper (pool boy) all working diligently on securing my fence. Got two papa murphys pizza's , ya know, love at 425 degree's to top it all off. Sigh. Most fun I've had in quite awhile. My carer Lisa and my SIL Lisa where even here.... mom was awake and in her chair, although she didn't know quite what was going on she gave everyone her shining toofless smiles. She enjoyed the day as well. Every one helped out while having a good time.

THIS IS THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!! DAMNIT!!

I am slowly feeling that chip on my shoulder close up....for now.

Hope honey, I'm with you.... right now everything I do is for my mother, making her comfortable and happy. There just isn't another way to.

My whine for today, as Jessie mentioned several comments back, is people telling me how I ought to feel. What I ought to do....How I should behave and what I should not do. How I should make use of this or that but if I do not intend on doing A then don't do B. I'm done.

I can accept that I am going to lose Mama. Sadly sooner rather than later but I have been "awake" to that reality for a LONG time. What I refuse to accept is allowing Mama to be in pain when there is some way of alleviating her pain...I consider a blood clot in her leg which has caused her let to double in size painful...I consider an abccessed tooth painful....Thankfully so did my Hospice provider and after calling them, THEY helped me do what I needed to do to do exactly that.

We all travel different roads. You all have been through journeys I cannot comprehend anymore than you can comprehend my path. We all have a common denominator and that has been what has kept me here.

You all have my prayers and I hope things go well for each of you. I'm going to be about the business of doing what I need to do for my Mama. While I know she cannot remain forever, and have, believe it or not, accepted that a LONG time ago, I plan on doing everything I can to make her passing as pain free and comfortable as possible. God speed all.

Jeanette, I am glad that your mom sounds so much better! It's amazing how they can bounce back!

Freqflyer...I can relate to the hearing aid problem. My mom won't even hear of (no pun intended!) of getting a hearing aid. Those are for "old" people!! She's only 93! I feel sometimes drained just from yelling so she can hear me. I love it when she says "you don't have to yell" .

I think it is my personal goal to feed my mother as much junk food as she wants, when I'm 88, I don't want anyone telling me to eat what is healthy. Why? there has to be some reward for living that long without a relative doing you in..... What is the worse that can happen? You shorten their life by a few months? win/win in my book. Oh, sorry...... been drinking, after a fun filled day with mom......

I'm tired, that should read WHO not why, but then maybe I'm the new Dr Seuss !

Veronica I don't know why the hell you are, but I reallllly like your style!

FF your helmet is where you left it last. ?Have you forgotten?

I had a mini meltdown this afternoon. So tired with dealing with hearing aids for my mother... she is 97 and is in denial that her ears are no longer that of a 25 years old, she keeps thinking there is this magical hearing aid somewhere that she can buy.

One major issue with her ears is that she won't let the nurses clean them to get the wax out... she gets a lot of discomfort with the first try of hot water in her ear and that ends the cleaning, she won't go any further.... [sigh]. Mom won't even let Dad put ear drops in her ears to help with the wax. I feel like a cat chasing its tail :P

Where is my helmet?

Awh, that was very sweet of your son!! My son would have sluffed it to the side saying it was in his way of getting food ;p

I did that once when my big handy son was still in high school. I headed it Mum's Wish List and stuck it to the fridge. Did not ask anyone and to my surprise onday son said "I've finished your list Mum" and he had quietly done everything for me.

Veronica!!! LOL too funny!!! could envision it all! Both my friends dog and my pibble would chase down a rabbit, chicken, cat, bird... anything fluffy. Bad dogs!
Mom really seems to enjoy these trips. And I am doing 3 things at once. getting mom out. exercising and walking both dogs! Win win!

I know how you feel Katie. I missed mom ever day. It felt strange not seeing her in her recliner. The biggest challenge is shutting of the guilt chatter in your head. Your mother is being well taken care of, you'll be able to be with your husband during his procedure and hopefully get some rest. There is nothing wrong with what you're doing, it's the right thing for everyone!!

Now I need to put a list together of what I might need help with around the house..... mwuahaha going to try and put those big boys to work!

Jeanette, I once took my mom and my 95 pound Labrador grandpup for a "walk". He nearly pulled us both off the sidewalk to go say hi to a neighbor. Once I took him for a walk in the park with my other grandpup, a 15 pound spaniel. Another dog/owner came from the other direction and lab boy wanted to say hi...he suddenly bolted and I tripped over our little cavalier (who yelped), became momentarily airborne then fell flat on my beet red face right in front of the other dog/owner. I could tell the guy wanted to laugh so hard but he just asked if I was okay and if the puppy was okay. Another time I took all 4 dogs to the park for a walk. 4 dogs, 4 leashes, all of them wanting to sniff everything. I was soon tied up and struggling to free myself, much to the amusement of everyone watching. As soon as I disentangled everyone, I shortened all 4 leashes and tied them together...they walked pretty good after that! Now I have a system down and can walk them all pretty well at the same time - that is, when I get the chance to walk them. I love the dogs - they are my buddies and my comic relief.

I had contacted my dad's state pension office to change his with holdings and they told me what form to use for authorization. Called yesterday to see if the received form and was told not correct for but use another and send POA. Drive to hubby's office so I can fax instead. Also received requested form as I need to transfer money out of dads investments. Have questions so I call and am told I could have filled out online vs waiting for form to come in mail.
ack I wish I could speak to same person to keep stories straight.

Jeanette, I am so happy your Mom is doing well after the respite stay. They must have treated her like she was on a vacation!

I am hoping that my Mom will feel better too, as I reluctantly agreed to send her for some physical therapy and recovery time at a nursing facility for just a few weeks .The hospital PT staff and doctors thought this would be beneficial to her. This is also so I can be there when my husband has his heart procedure as that hospital where this procedure is done is farther away .I really hated to do this but the facility looks way better than the one she was in for rehab last summer. It is much more organized and much quieter there and the staff seems very attentive. I still feel strange not having her here in the house and will be popping in there all the time to see how things are going. I plan to bring her right back home in a few weeks time. So many worries and questions, and she has so many health problems. I do feel guilt for doing this, but right now I think she needs the recovery where a nurse is there 24 hours, and even she wanted to make sure I could be there for my husband's procedure. She seems to like the place and the staff.
So why do I feel so empty...like there is something more I should be doing? I was on such an auto pilot, running in and out of her room with medications, bathing, food and snacks, etc. for months that I sometimes don't know what to do with myself these last several days she went to the hospital and now the rehab.
I am having trouble letting go and unwinding a bit, which I never thought would happen while I was taking care of her 24/7...

Oh Jeanette with those dogs tied to the W/C poor mom was probably terrified you would let go of the handles and the dogs would head for the hills and chase a few rabbits down for dinner. Your are left down on the road frantically whistling for the dogs and finally calling 911. Then the police helicoper circles over head and you see Mom waving happily from the window and the dogs hanging in slings below the skids, rabbits hanging limply from their mouths. They left the W/C who wants to ride in a tangled mess of metal. Maybe Medicare will buy her a new one or perhaps when the pictures are on the front page of the local paper someone will donate one. Don't you wish you had had your hair done last week still it's a black and white picture so the grey won't show.
The ER Dr wanted to keep Mom overnight but she said "no way" she wanted to get home for the rabbit pie for dinner.
Hope you knew enough to put your coffee down before reading a post from me!

Hahaha!!! Get a list ready and put those boys to work, Jeanette!!!

Thank you girls! I have realized it is these small things.

My oldest pup (18) had another major seizure today. He keeps bouncing back but I know....and it's fine.

Strapped my GF dog and my 2 dogs to moms wheelchair and took her for a ride in the gorgeous surroundings. She wasn't so happy, but inside I know she was.

Brothers are coming over tomorrow to visit.... eh? I told them I was reinforcing my fence and thank you for helping!

Ahhhhh........be still my heart. I am really happy mom is home. See? We miss them, we love them. We just do not like the situation.

That's great Jeanette! So happy for you both!

Yay Jeanette! Gosh she sounds great!

Linda, your dad may be relieved, even if he doesn't admit it to anyone. I hope they have a good visit.

jeanette - I emailed a quick reply to BIL that our son will be picking him up from the airport to save Dad from driving in the screwy airport traffic.I'm hoping that when he talks with Dad this week, he will just tell Dad he has a ride from the airport.

dee, when I had the flu a few years ago, I had the smell that would happen. It was the only time I've ever smelled this "scent." Things like coffee or sniffing trigger the smell. I have been having the same smell a lot the last two days. It made me wonder if this is really the flu. However, it feels more like a cold.

I'm only 51 and DON'T drive through the airport!! Surely you're not going to let your poor dad attempt that? Gads! Seems like your brother needs to call a taxi.

Question; Where the h*ll is my mom and who is this imposter then sent home today? The lady they took last week was half dead, couldn't stand, barely wanted to eat... this lady here, has already downed an ensure plus a cup of water, a banana and a bowl of ravioli's, then demanded more juice. She told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so I put her in her transfer chair, what did she say to me?..."what the h*ll are you doing, trying to kill me"? Whoever this feisty ole bat is I'll keep her!! YAY! Mom's baaaaackkkkkk

dee, those honey lozenges are pretty tasty!

My BIL finally decided on dates for a visit, right smack when my husband will be out of town. He's going to stay with Dad, to see if he can "be assistance for the week" - then he wrote he'll "just have Dad pick him up at the arrival loading area".???? Dad's 94, drives to the store, church, our house, places close to home....the airport??? .....going to be an interesting week. Methinks there's a powerful disconnect occurring here. And I was very well behaved yesterday - I didn't tell my mom that I'm sick again because my immune system is getting bombed by stress....induced by toxic people.

Dee if you can't use the Chloraseptic spray can you suck the throat lozenges. not as good as the spray but they do help.

Why can't anyone make throat lozenges that taste like brownies?

Jessie, I'm sure what you really mean to say is...Sorry...couldn't resist. I'm a smart a*s. By the way, I've been smelling really strange things for 2 days. Must just be my sense of smell is off from being sick. I thought it was something in the house. Then I thought it was me. Nope, both clean. Weird.

no I can't use that throat spray. It makes me gag. I really don't have any choice but to be at work. I do have co workers everyone has their own office. I'm more concerned about getting mom sick. My coworkers have given me there are various illnesses the past year. I really really really wish I could just go home and sleep.seems like its always something doesn't it? Chest discomfort, my back went out, 250 dollar parking ticket, moms new thyroid problem, financial trouble, and to top it off let's throw in horrible cold / flu that I have to try not to pass along to my mom, since there is no one else to take care of her.I'm still considering putting a sticker on my forehead that says out of order and calling it a day. At 51 I am getting too old to continue with the character building exercises.

A quick whine -- do you ever get tired of people telling you how you REALLY feel? So often I read it on here, too. "You're not mad at the person, you're just mad at the disease." Nope... I'm mad at the person. For gosh sakes, don't tell me how I feel.