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((((Daisy))) What a session you have had!!! I can understand that both of you are in recovery. So much stress seeing your LO ill and not getting better. I guess it will take him a while, and you too. So glad he is on the mend.

I would love 65 right about now. You can have the heat.
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Hi, Golden, he is awesome now, weak and tired, but he will recover. It's been very overwhelming. What a week, what a few months I've had. He promises to listen to me better now. We are both here n recuperating mood, me emotionally and sleep, him health. The good news is they went through his entire body with a fine tooth comb, and he is very healthy.

Send some of that warmth down here, it's about 65 here today.
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Hi Daisy - you disappeared. I read on another thread your hubs had been in hospital. Hope he is OK now.

My whine - hottest day of the year so far and the A/C is not working. We have a heat warning till 9 tonight. The good news is that the public places of the building are air conditioned so I can cool off there and read or whatever. I have a HVAC service guy coming tomorrow sometime.
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Daisy - it's just getting you used to the weather in Ireland.
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Daisy: Here in the mid Atlantic we have had a Nor'Easter going on with tons of rain. Still in a deficit, though.
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It's still raining, about 50 , very little to no sun for about 2 weeks if not more. Rivers are high, and I wanna cry. 😂 Not really but I thought that sounded cute. Anyways it just really really sucks. Hubs just turned the heat on, sick of being in cold and damp. Never have a heat on in May! Oh the next whole weeks forecast, looks about the same.
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Daisy and Beatty -sad that people don't care enough about themselves to look after their futures. Glad you both stuck up for yourselves.

Then there is the "Norwegian Life-Cleaning" which is about continuously striving to cleanse one's life down to a serene simplicity: A life containing what you love, use, and need without unnecessary surplus to disturb your present-day peace or bring a sizable decluttering task onto those you love in the future." (the internet)
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"They are thinking about themselves .."

You got it!

I had a proper stand up argument with an aquaintance over this! She was on & on about how I should take my Mother in, or move in with her, do everything yada yada

I said I couldn’t. She kept pushing.

I asked if she expected her daughter to do that & BOOM, that truth bomb fell.

Her previous statements of not ever being a burden to her daughter just exploded & disapated. She actually stood & stared at me with a look of fear. Then starts this high pitched "But what will I do? What will we ALL do?"

Make the best of it in the nursing home.. choose a good one, with Friday happy hour? My jokes fell flat as I was shaking from the confrontation, she was insulted & we were both close to tears by now.

(This was standing chest height in the public swimming pool by the way. We can add that scene to the Aging Care movie) 🤣
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Beatty, I so wish more people would do the Swedish Death Cleaning, it makes so much sense.

Also most of my friends are in there 60s and up, and ya know they are really getting scared of aging and who is going to "take care" of them , so they get really insulted and shocked when I say , I'm not doing more for mom than I am doing, and I'm not taking care of a bed ridden parent. They are thinking about themselves and there hopes of there children, keeping them out of a facility.
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Daisy, I don't know if it is worse rural.. but I definately think personality comes into it.

A lot of my older rellies signed themselves up for council services, some downsized, my own Mother did the 'Swedish Death Clean' & has mercifully not left too much to sort.

Not to shame & blame (ha ha, I am sure my genetics are nothing to shout about 🤣) but one of my Husband's family appears to have this *Daughter-Care-Plan*.

Lives in a city, in an area choca full of oldies & VERY well serviced by every type of delivery & service. Yet only will accept shopping, housekeeping (anything really) from her daughter.

We KNOW how that will go.. that daughter will need to decide on her own boundaries as time goes on & the needs increase.
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Waytomisery, and Golden , I AM sticking to Mr guns!!

Not just my family but those around me, neighbors, just people I meet that ask how my mom is, and give me the side 👀 eye look. I told someone I know children should not be your retirement plan!! She is insisting it is hers, because she isn't going in one of "those" places.

It's just all over, maybe because I live rural, it's worse. 🤷
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Stick to your guns, Daisy. it is the POA's job to arrange care for your mom - not yours to do beyond what you choose to do.
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Drivingdaisy,

When people say things to you , Tell these people “ I’m doing what I can. Since you have noticed Mom needs more help, when are you coming to help her ?”
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This was buried, so I'm bringing it back because I need a good whine!!!

I am so sick and tired of people that think that me and others, mostly women, are supposed to give up there whole lives to care for there aging parent, for YEARS.

Ya no anyone in my life want to judge me, I don't give a Fig Newton what anyone thinks of me. Yes I know mom is getting more frail, yes I know she needs more help!!! But it's not going to be me!! I do my share, end of story, tell someone else!!!

I am worthy to have my own life, my husband is worthy to have his wife home if that's what he wants!!

There I feel better!! 😛😄
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((((Way))) I'm sorry about the LBD sister. You can't please her, you can't change her. You've got to do what you've got to do. She doesn't run the show. She's upset and likely will be for a while. That's understandable. But just because she has a storm, you don't have to get wet. Keep good boundaries to protect yourselves. You are not responsible for her illness or her feelings.
I agree a break would be good for you and DH right now -even a small one,
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Way, you really do need to find a way to get away from it all even for a few days. Then plan a trip to Aruba.
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Thanks Beatty .
Aruba if possible .
However , a storm is now going on with sister with Lewy Body ( who refuses her meds ). It never ends .
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Way, many many (((hugs))) to you.

May you & your DH get the sleep you need. By the sound of those relatives, this ride is not over yet..

When it is, what wonderful place will you book a trip to?
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Thank you PamZ
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Thank you Hothouseflower
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Way I am so sorry for your loss
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Way, so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you cwillie
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Thank you casole.
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I'm sorry for your loss Way.
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Sorry to hear this news Way.
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Thanks 97.
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Way
Wishing you and DH rest and peace and hopefully some happy memories in time. She seemed to have a joie de vivre that endeared her to many. Of course, they didn’t feel the weight of responsibility that others placed on DH. A bittersweet passing.
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Thank you ITRR
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Way, I am sorry for your family's loss. She did it her way and there is something to be said for that. Unfortunately she drug you guys into it to often.

May The Lord give you strength, wisdom and guidance for the final steps.
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