I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
A lot of my older rellies signed themselves up for council services, some downsized, my own Mother did the 'Swedish Death Clean' & has mercifully not left too much to sort.
Not to shame & blame (ha ha, I am sure my genetics are nothing to shout about 🤣) but one of my Husband's family appears to have this *Daughter-Care-Plan*.
Lives in a city, in an area choca full of oldies & VERY well serviced by every type of delivery & service. Yet only will accept shopping, housekeeping (anything really) from her daughter.
We KNOW how that will go.. that daughter will need to decide on her own boundaries as time goes on & the needs increase.
Not just my family but those around me, neighbors, just people I meet that ask how my mom is, and give me the side 👀 eye look. I told someone I know children should not be your retirement plan!! She is insisting it is hers, because she isn't going in one of "those" places.
It's just all over, maybe because I live rural, it's worse. 🤷
When people say things to you , Tell these people “ I’m doing what I can. Since you have noticed Mom needs more help, when are you coming to help her ?”
I am so sick and tired of people that think that me and others, mostly women, are supposed to give up there whole lives to care for there aging parent, for YEARS.
Ya no anyone in my life want to judge me, I don't give a Fig Newton what anyone thinks of me. Yes I know mom is getting more frail, yes I know she needs more help!!! But it's not going to be me!! I do my share, end of story, tell someone else!!!
I am worthy to have my own life, my husband is worthy to have his wife home if that's what he wants!!
There I feel better!! 😛😄
I agree a break would be good for you and DH right now -even a small one,
Aruba if possible .
However , a storm is now going on with sister with Lewy Body ( who refuses her meds ). It never ends .
May you & your DH get the sleep you need. By the sound of those relatives, this ride is not over yet..
When it is, what wonderful place will you book a trip to?
Wishing you and DH rest and peace and hopefully some happy memories in time. She seemed to have a joie de vivre that endeared her to many. Of course, they didn’t feel the weight of responsibility that others placed on DH. A bittersweet passing.
May The Lord give you strength, wisdom and guidance for the final steps.
The "big party" Oh, goodness gracious. That's all he needs. Condolences for whatever loss you and DH are feeling. I imagine relief figures largely in this too.
Let him sleep. I am sure he needs it. I am glad for the both of you that the "parent care" phase of your lives is ending. I hope there will be nothing too complicated to take care of in the next few days/weeks/months.
As always - do something good for you. You deserve it. 💛
Just saw you have to wake DH up so he will sleep tonight. Makes sense!
I’m going to have to wake DH up from his nap or he won’t sleep tonight . 🤔🤔
Over the last 3 days , DH’s phone has been blowing up because MIL’s partner with dementia ( who should not live alone , but does ) has been giving out DH’s phone number ( as well as my son’s number , apparently by mistake to one person as well ). They want to know what’s going on because partner told some people 3 days ago that MIL had already passed and then after that told others she was still alive .
The other part of this that can’t be made up is MIL’s sister is upset that MIL had prearranged to donate her body to the local medical school . She did not like that she won’t be cremated for at least a year , maybe longer. This btw was the only end of life paperwork MIL prepared, many years ago . 🙄
MIL’s brother said to buy an urn and not to tell his sister it’s empty . 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I don’t even know what to say to that .
And one of MIL’s friends has already told DH where the “ big party” should be .
MIL told everyone for years that she wants a big party ( not a funeral ) after her death .
Apparently it’s expected, as others have called to invite themselves .
DH fell asleep alittle bit ago in our hotel room . I silenced his phone . He needs a break from this circus .
You knew this time would come.
It is hard, will be hard.
My thoughts to you.
Even those with the most fighting of spirits & the firmest grasp on control can arrive at such a time & place. The time when Mother Nature nods her wise head & takes over.
(I use Mother Nature, but please insert your own faith or belief, or medical diagnosis terms).