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Daisy, I don't know if it is worse rural.. but I definately think personality comes into it.

A lot of my older rellies signed themselves up for council services, some downsized, my own Mother did the 'Swedish Death Clean' & has mercifully not left too much to sort.

Not to shame & blame (ha ha, I am sure my genetics are nothing to shout about 🤣) but one of my Husband's family appears to have this *Daughter-Care-Plan*.

Lives in a city, in an area choca full of oldies & VERY well serviced by every type of delivery & service. Yet only will accept shopping, housekeeping (anything really) from her daughter.

We KNOW how that will go.. that daughter will need to decide on her own boundaries as time goes on & the needs increase.
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Waytomisery, and Golden , I AM sticking to Mr guns!!

Not just my family but those around me, neighbors, just people I meet that ask how my mom is, and give me the side 👀 eye look. I told someone I know children should not be your retirement plan!! She is insisting it is hers, because she isn't going in one of "those" places.

It's just all over, maybe because I live rural, it's worse. 🤷
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Stick to your guns, Daisy. it is the POA's job to arrange care for your mom - not yours to do beyond what you choose to do.
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Drivingdaisy,

When people say things to you , Tell these people “ I’m doing what I can. Since you have noticed Mom needs more help, when are you coming to help her ?”
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This was buried, so I'm bringing it back because I need a good whine!!!

I am so sick and tired of people that think that me and others, mostly women, are supposed to give up there whole lives to care for there aging parent, for YEARS.

Ya no anyone in my life want to judge me, I don't give a Fig Newton what anyone thinks of me. Yes I know mom is getting more frail, yes I know she needs more help!!! But it's not going to be me!! I do my share, end of story, tell someone else!!!

I am worthy to have my own life, my husband is worthy to have his wife home if that's what he wants!!

There I feel better!! 😛😄
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((((Way))) I'm sorry about the LBD sister. You can't please her, you can't change her. You've got to do what you've got to do. She doesn't run the show. She's upset and likely will be for a while. That's understandable. But just because she has a storm, you don't have to get wet. Keep good boundaries to protect yourselves. You are not responsible for her illness or her feelings.
I agree a break would be good for you and DH right now -even a small one,
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Way, you really do need to find a way to get away from it all even for a few days. Then plan a trip to Aruba.
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Thanks Beatty .
Aruba if possible .
However , a storm is now going on with sister with Lewy Body ( who refuses her meds ). It never ends .
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Way, many many (((hugs))) to you.

May you & your DH get the sleep you need. By the sound of those relatives, this ride is not over yet..

When it is, what wonderful place will you book a trip to?
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Thank you PamZ
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Thank you Hothouseflower
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Way I am so sorry for your loss
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Way, so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you cwillie
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Thank you casole.
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I'm sorry for your loss Way.
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Sorry to hear this news Way.
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Thanks 97.
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Way
Wishing you and DH rest and peace and hopefully some happy memories in time. She seemed to have a joie de vivre that endeared her to many. Of course, they didn’t feel the weight of responsibility that others placed on DH. A bittersweet passing.
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Thank you ITRR
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Way, I am sorry for your family's loss. She did it her way and there is something to be said for that. Unfortunately she drug you guys into it to often.

May The Lord give you strength, wisdom and guidance for the final steps.
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Thanks Golden.
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((((((Way))))) What a zoo!!!! I am so sorry for the messes DH has to deal with.

The "big party" Oh, goodness gracious. That's all he needs. Condolences for whatever loss you and DH are feeling. I imagine relief figures largely in this too.

Let him sleep. I am sure he needs it. I am glad for the both of you that the "parent care" phase of your lives is ending. I hope there will be nothing too complicated to take care of in the next few days/weeks/months.

As always - do something good for you. You deserve it. 💛

Just saw you have to wake DH up so he will sleep tonight. Makes sense!
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Thanks Daisy .
I’m going to have to wake DH up from his nap or he won’t sleep tonight . 🤔🤔
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So sorry way, for you DH and your children, it's been a rough couple of weeks for you! 😔 🫂🙏
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Thank you Llama .
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Way: So sorry to hear this news. Condolences.
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Well , MIL passed away this morning . The party girl wasn’t immortal after all .

Over the last 3 days , DH’s phone has been blowing up because MIL’s partner with dementia ( who should not live alone , but does ) has been giving out DH’s phone number ( as well as my son’s number , apparently by mistake to one person as well ). They want to know what’s going on because partner told some people 3 days ago that MIL had already passed and then after that told others she was still alive .

The other part of this that can’t be made up is MIL’s sister is upset that MIL had prearranged to donate her body to the local medical school . She did not like that she won’t be cremated for at least a year , maybe longer. This btw was the only end of life paperwork MIL prepared, many years ago . 🙄

MIL’s brother said to buy an urn and not to tell his sister it’s empty . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
I don’t even know what to say to that .

And one of MIL’s friends has already told DH where the “ big party” should be .
MIL told everyone for years that she wants a big party ( not a funeral ) after her death .
Apparently it’s expected, as others have called to invite themselves .

DH fell asleep alittle bit ago in our hotel room . I silenced his phone . He needs a break from this circus .
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Golden, it warmed up, today to about 60, tomorrow is going to be almost 80. Bi polar, north east.
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Way. (((Hugs))).
You knew this time would come.
It is hard, will be hard.
My thoughts to you.

Even those with the most fighting of spirits & the firmest grasp on control can arrive at such a time & place. The time when Mother Nature nods her wise head & takes over.

(I use Mother Nature, but please insert your own faith or belief, or medical diagnosis terms).
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