Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
2 3 4 5 6
Waytomisery,
Please send some warmer weather here.
Golden,
True, some mornings I sat on balcony wearing sweater.
But then we are not having many fires. Unfortunately too many all over Canada.
(1)
Report

I took my DH on a short holiday to a warmer city. I have not said I'm cold once! He is VERY happy - finally got his colour & energy back after Covid, Influenza, winter-funk BUT.. he loves it so much he now wants to live here permanently! Hmm. 22-25 C (70-78 F I guess) every day at the moment is SO very nice! But 9 months of the year have super high humidity & also a torrential storm season. I would consider an annual winter trip (if we could afford it).
(2)
Report

Please send that cooler weather to me !
The Northeast feels like Florida this year , including the freaky rain storms and humidity .
(2)
Report

Eva - we certainly are having a cold summer. There may have been 5 properly hot summer days in all this year so far. It feels like fall already.
(1)
Report

Beatty, good decision.
As I mentioned in my other post, Alva and Golden are wise persons.
I like to whine about weather!
We are having cold summer!
(2)
Report

Thank you Alva & Golden 🤗🤗
Your wisdom rings true - no need to have distressing conversations.
Form done (out of sight). No need for future revisions.
(2)
Report

Beatty, my thoughts are to go with what your mom wanted when she was calm and lucid - not in crisis mode. She's in an NH with several health problems. She's not getting better. Surely you don't need to revisit this with her again.
(5)
Report

Beatty, I would certainly tell them that at this point you are in charge and that's what your Mom made you, and that your mother pleaded with you last time you updated that you two not "go there again". They don't need this. They are just wanting to cover all bases. Just say she isn't up to going through that again and told you "no updates in future".
(1)
Report

NH asked for updated Life Wishes Form (aka DNR).

Mother would NOT engage with this a year ago. Oh the tears... both M & D.. I said let's do that another day & quietly completed it to her known values out of sight.

Then it was updated when D was very ill. She wanted everything - Full resus, all tubes, all treatments.. so she could survive & look after him. Now he is a memory in our hearts 💙 & I have to complete that d@%n form again.

I have to decide.. to use the long & firmly held values & wishes my prior Mother had (do no harm, nothing futile, nothing painful, let nature take it's course) or the newer ideas of this new version of Mother, whatever they are on that day! 😑

Guess I will need to broach the subject.. tbc
(2)
Report

Hothouse, I would send them a letter that states what you have here and tell them that you will be filling a complaint with the BAR Association if this isn't rectified in 3 days.

Unfortunately, there are not many professionals anymore and shoddy work is the norm across all industries. Sad times for America and the future.
(3)
Report

I'm so embarrassed. My father paid private pay to his nursing home for the past few months because he inherited money from my mother from the sale of their home and now has to reapply for Medicaid.

The attorney sent a botched up the letter to the nursing home. Instead of asking for my father's PRI, he asked them for my mother's. I pointed out to him that she's been dead for 14 months now. I asked that he correct this, and did not hear anything back. Not one damn word.

I already paid for his services, otherwise I would hire another attorney. Real shoddy work. It makes him and me look like idiots. I know a paralegal sent out the email and form letter but there should be some sort of oversight.

Just more stress and anxiety. I'm so tired of dealing with my father's crap. I wish he was gone already. It would be a relief. I don't need this.
(3)
Report

URW Llama - Hotter here today but not 100. The air conditioning works well

Way - hope your plants have survived and you got rain,

My whine is that Rocky digs the dirt out of her little garden on the balcony that I made in an old roasting pan so I have to sweep. My only recourse is to keep it very wet. Then she doesn't dig, but I haven't managed to keep it that way. 🐈
(2)
Report

This heat is killing my flowers .
On the plus side , rain coming tomorrow followed by more moderate temps .
I also just saw the Farmer’s almanac is predicting a cool Autumn this year in my area. I hope they are right . Some recent years it seems to stay summer too long .
(1)
Report

Golden: It IS! Thank you. Glad that you're cooler.
(1)
Report

Llama -that's HOT!!! Take care and drink lots,

Here we got up to 25C (77F) which is one of the warmer temps here this summer.
(3)
Report

100° here today, but feels like 110°.
(6)
Report

((((Hothouse)))) I think you are doing the right thing by moving your dad. Alternately the facility could move that nasty man to a single room where he can't upset people as much.
(2)
Report

Hothouseflower, I agree with others.
That must of been so upset to deal with! 💕💕
(0)
Report

Thanks to all who responded. Tomorrow I will begin the process to have his room changed.
(6)
Report

Hothouseflower

If this roommate doesn't have dementia, why is he sharing a room with your father who does? The NH should not have put them together and it's good that you're having your father moved to a different room as he should be.

Good for you giving it back to that guy. Even when they have dementia, there's nothing wrong with letting someone know you will not tolerate nasty, abusive behavior. The nurse doesn't have to take it either and should not. If this guy is that bad, he needs to be in a different kind of facility where his behavior can be dealt with.
(4)
Report

I agree with cwillie , I moved my Dad about 2 weeks before he died because of new room mate playing TV all night long .
Dad was happy to be moved to a quieter room with a very nice considerate room mate who realized Dad was dying .
(6)
Report

Hothouse - It sounds like he doesn't get around on his own so changing rooms wouldn't mean he'd get confused and can't find his way there, I think that one room is pretty much like any other and living with a nasty SOB can't be very nice, I'd make the move.
(8)
Report

Need to put what happened to me today somewhere. So here it is. Went to the NH to visit my dad. I like to sit in the sitting room with him so I can give him something to eat and play some music for him. This morning he was in the dining room in his wheel chair without his feet plates. No way I could wheel him out with his feet dragging.

I continue by saying that my father's roommate is a nasty nasty SOB and he does not have dementia, so no free pass. You should hear how he speaks to the nurses. He is a miserable human being. I hunted down the nurse and finally found her taking care of my father's SOB roommate.

I had no expectation that the nurse had to drop everything to take care of my father but I told her while she was in there that the plates needed to go back on which she said she would do when she was done. But the roommate seemed to think I wanted her to leave and started yelling at me. I all said that this needed to be addressed.

Anyway just before I left I went into my father's room to check how his room was. And of course roommate started to rip me a new one. And instead of keeping quiet and just leaving I started yelling right back. Pretty much told him who the f he thought he was talking to anyone this way. Called him a nasty miserable human being and just yelled right back.

It was bad. The head nursing came running in and had to break it up. I told her told her what she already knows but could not agree with, that the guy is a mean sadistic nasty piece of work. I have managed to keep on his good side for almost a year but today I lost it with him. No one, but no one, gets to talk to me this way.

I went back to the sitting room and the nurse stopped in to talk to me and I told her I am considering moving my father to another room. She said that was my right to do and the only thing she could do was make sure the what happened with the feet plates does not happen again. It's true, this never would have happened if they were on the chair. But as I said to her, if it wasn't this situation it would be something else. But I don't know if moving him is a good thing. He's been in that room for 2.5 years.
(5)
Report

Valentine, you sound like you are at the end of your rope. Anything we can do to help you? We are here to listen. If you are not POA you do not have to keep this up.
(1)
Report

I'm tired too. I'm tired of dealing with a sister who can go off at the drop of a hat but I have no choice bc we have to be at least civil to take care of our mom. I'm tired of having no choice. I'm tired of all of it. I just want to run away. I feel like it will never end.
(7)
Report

I have a cousin that has always struggled to keep weight on, my DH is going the same way too from 55. People dismiss their issues all the time so they get so little support :( No-one needs judgemental comments from the Food Police or Body Shape Police.

I went & bought one of those tins of fibre/fibre drinks. 2 x day. I'm telling myself it will improve my gut/brain chemicals, therefore reduce tempation to binge drinks/snacks on weekends. In reality.. ? The effects are not too bad 😂🍊💩🍊💩
(3)
Report

Daisy: I'm with you regarding weight.
(2)
Report

Golden, yeah it's not healthy for a lot of people to be outside. Stupid climate change. 😡

I gained my 5 lbs back, I lost and been walking again. 😊 I know it doesn't make me very popular 😔 having the opposite issue of weight.
(1)
Report

Well done, burnt! That takes a lot of work.

way - it's harder as you get older. unless you run marathons, The guideline is 80% of weight loss is diet and 20% exercise. But both exercise and diet are important especially in keeping the weight off.

Here to Daisy. I was looking forward to sitting out on the balcony, but not today! I am so glad we are out of the forested area - don't have tp ve concerned about being burnt down.
(2)
Report

Smoky here in NYS today, my eyes are burning. It's coming from Canadas wild fires.
(2)
Report

2 3 4 5 6
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter