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‘Unretired’, you are a brand new poster who has given no information on your profile. It’s OK to just ‘vent’ about your problems, but sharing more about them is likely to provide much more help to you. It would be best to start your own thread so that you can find support from people who relate better. For example, you were ‘happily retired’ but you taught dance classes yourself. How old are you? How fit? What care are you providing? What options have you researched?
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I was very happily retired. Now, as a caregiver, suddenly, I have a full time job 60+ hours a week. I have given up all my fun activities, the dance classes I teach and haven't seen any of my friends. We have a part time home caregiver, but it is not nearly enough.
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My rant: I will not set myself on fire to keep somebody else warm anymore. 
He is supposed to be my equal, my spouse, my love, NOT another patient waiting for my assistance. Caregiving tasks by themselves sound easy enough to those who have the luxury of leaving work at work without having to deal with the same crap they just left when they get home. 
Between my paid hospital job and my unpaid “caregiver job” at home, there isn’t a day that I’m not wiping someones ass, cleaning up crap, or f*****g around with equipment to get someone in and out of bed or off the toilet. Had I known nursing would take over my life and define my person, I would’ve never went into nursing. To my critics: Did the truth offend you? Try taking your own advice you so freely dish out and suck it up!  I’m done with all the judgmental self righteous a******s who have the gall to tell me it’s my duty and try to dictate how I’m supposed to feel about it. 
Ever hear about the nurse who died and went to hell? It took him 2 months to realize that he wasn’t at work. Maybe that was me.
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Thanks, Llama. Getting there.
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Golden: Feel better.
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Oh goodness - typos, typos!!! I got a reaction to the RSV shot (the big D and dizzy) which has never happened before, so I am rethinking my regime. No more before we go east and we will see afterwards. Joys of aging!!!
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Got my RSV shot and the booster booked for the end of October. It was my first time at that pharmacy for shots and the girls (pharmacist and receptionist) are great. We ended up laughing and hugging. It felt so good.

Flu shot will be booked after the RSV booster,

I called 811 and surprisingly I can call and book a covid shot on Monday. She wasn't sure if I am included for a freebie and will clarify that, I guess they haven't had the run on bookings for people who get a free shot that they expected. I was surprised that I could book so fast. Then that will be me "shot up" for this year. I don't do it every year but thought it was time.

Eva - I think you can get a covid shot quickly if you want one, but you probably have to pay. I think it should be a consideration that you have a very ill husband. n allergy headahe for a wee

I guess this is really an anti-whine. Combine this with the fact that I haven't had an allergy headache for a week - I feel like I have been let out of jail!
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eva - glad it isn't covid

cw - my reading of that article says that Albertans can't get free shots in BC. Anyway, it would cost more to get there than to pay for one here, presuming there are vaccines available. I'm calling Health Link 811 to find out if i am excluded. CFS/FM affects the immune system.

I find the Alberta policy discriminatory to healthy seniors who can only get a shot IF there is vaccine left over. I wouldn't mind paying for it, and having to book an appointment. I appreciate the gov't is trying to be fiscally responsible. But, the way it is set up, may be at a health cost to my demographic.
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Golden - That's your Premier's doing, you may be able to slip over to BC to get the vaccine
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/free-covid-vaccines-bc-albertans-1.7615154
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Golden,
I am sure you got it right. About $100 per shot for most, seniors as well.
Turns out I did not get COVID. But thank you all for wishing me well.
I knew COVID is here to stay but did not think it would be increasing in summer. Apparently I was wrong. Just looking at how many people are already masking would suggest some perhaps have it.
What happened to Driving Daisy?
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Ahhh, vaccinations!

Just checked with a local pharmacy and, as of July, covid shots are handled differently. You have to meet certain criteria and go through a booking process. I read the blurb online and apparently I don't meet those criteria. If I had Senior's Benefits (for low income seniors) I would. If I want a shot I have to wait until a later date that those who meet the criteria and see if there is any vaccine left over, and then pay $100 for it. That's not very kind to those of us who are older but not receiving care of any sort. I will call the 811 line to be sure I have interpreted this correctly. CFS/FM involves the immune system so I hope they will include it.

I can get the RSV vaccine and will go for that tomorrow. The regular flu shot will be available end of October.

Oh well. Nothing goes smoothly for long,
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cwillie, I SOOOO appreciate anyone giving me a "wide berth". Truly I do. When someone is masked today, they clearly are afraid for some reason to get covid. When I was getting radiation therapy a good bout with covid would have ruined the plan for certain! And yes, at 83, I hope to continue to avoid it.
Masking, to my mind, is a personal choice. I love not getting the sniffles, the flu, or anything else for five years, as I said. Covid isn't the killer it was, but if I can avoid it by having YOU avoid ME, ha ha! I am all for that. So masking up on the bus will continue, likely lifelong, to be my choice. And I would bet anyone concerned enough to be wearing a mask, more than appreciates folks avoiding them on the bus. I know I certainly do.
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Cwillie, when I see anyone masked, I now assume that they are infectious themselves but still want to go out. How I learned that? From sitting next to one in a theater! I give them a wide berth for that reason, not just because they may be immune-compromised.
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Thx Golden and no apologies for typos! I was having a moment when I posted. Some days my detachment mechanism works better than others. You are correct, they are who they are, the aging is definitely amplifying it.

Good news is today was a better day for detachment so I'll take that!!
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casole -sorry for the misspelling🙇‍♀️
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I seldom see anyone masked here any more Alva, when I do I assume they (or their loved ones) are immune compromised and try to give them a lot of space.
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@Eva and cwillie: No, Covid hasn't gone anywhere and likely never will. It is now a virus that we will get, likely more seasonally like flu, etc. The only good news is that it isn't such a killer now, and in fact responsible for few deaths. Eva, do get the test and be sure whether or not this is covid because long covid symptoms are still very much a thing with clotting factors changing in blood, and people being more prone to clots, they are finding.
Last month my daughter's inlaws, both 95 got covid. A hospitalization after a fall for the gentleman and the woman did well at home. Both are recovered. It is increased in our waste water testing here in SF, so around. I mask on public transit still, and love not having even had a sniffle for the past five years, so will likely continue that, but unless in a crowd, that's it, and I think I am one of very few on our buses all masked up.
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casple -an you detach a bit from your mom's and dad's issues? They can really drag you down. It's how they are, no one can fix them, just keep them safe, fed etc. The alarms are a big nuisance!!!

glad I was banned on face book and no matter how I explained, appealed etc I got no response so I started a new page. Unlike Alva, I have it in my own name and that has not been a problem. A few of my ex students and friends have found me nand that was the idea. Good luck with it.

Burnt - I waited months -never got back.

Eva hope you are getting better and that it is not covid.

Like cwillie I have read that cases are increasing again,

So tired of these sinus issues, but getting a handle on the new set of allergies - I think!!! On the other hand, at my age, seeing that that is all (plus the CFS/FM) I have to worry about, I consider myself very fortunate.

Here we are having our summer in September. Certainly way better than not at all.
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Covid never went away. But I saw a recent article (cbc I think) that rates are indeed on the rise
(BTW I hope you feel better soon Evamar)
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Is Covid back?
I think I am having that or just bad cold.
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@Gladimhere

Just wait it out with Facebook. They go through this nonsense every so often when everyone gets suspended over nothing then they get normal again. Facebook is crap anyway these days. Join Bluesky. It's way better than Facebook.
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Glad,
Facebook? And you're there for Sourdough? I am there for Art, Cooking (Wyse Guide is my favorite), Books, Movies (recommends of which from Red Carpet I get at my library), gardening, crafts, sewing and fashion exploration, museums, libraries. I love it. Have only about 60-some friends, and know each one.
As to being suspended? Make it clear that if you ever are you will make a new profile. Then do so. Simple. New email, new profile and you are back. Because FB doesn't care. It just wants you there. You are another number for them. Feel free to use them. They fully understand being used. And my recommend, never use your real name or any other real information on it. Consider it the same way you would consider a playground if you were 6 years old. Don't take it too seriously.
Good luck getting back on.
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duplicate.
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Glad FB is an interesting place as to the "jail". I swear to you a few years ago I was sent there for,,, posting too many thank you's in an hour to people who wished me happy birthday! Luckily only lasted a week, and believe me I posted about it! Good luck. Who knew sourdough was so divisional
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Gladimhere,

Ugh on Facebook. So frustrating!! Thx for info on the hardwired alarms. They are all brand new, installed in March. Batteries have all been changed and the alarms were all dusted out recently too in case that was the problem. I'm starting to think it's something about the electrical work itself which I hope it's not and that getting new ones will solve it.


I've also read the new ones are extremely photosensitive and can be triggered even by changes in temperature which is why it's always in the middle of the night!!


The electrician is not great imo and then I'll have to back to the general contactor which I'm not great at. They are so unresponsive.

Hope the fb issue gets resolved soon and I'm glad you have a group unrelated to anything to do with caregiving!!!
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Now my whine. About ten days ago I was suspended by Facebook, quite the shock! I don't post any political commentary or anything that could be considered insensitive. My favorite groups are related to sourdough which I started playing with about 7 months ago, and it is a journey. My suspension has had the affect of making me feel even more isolated than I do already.

There is no way to fix it unless you process an appeal, then appeal that appeal that is then reviewed by the same AI that generated the suspension. There is absolutely no customer service or way to find out exactly what the issue is, I would fix it. Now I have to wait on human review which could take weeks. There must be a better way.
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Casole, on fire alarm issues, I have recently had to deal with that as well. All fire/smoke/CO2 alarms have battery backups and all are interconnected. When you change one battery you need to change all of them. I also learned that they are only good for about ten years, then all need to be replaced. One way to tell is that the devices are white at manufacture and as they age they turn beige/yellow to indicate time to change. Hope that helps.
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I howled when I saw your question about whining moments! Very very brave thing to do for dementia caregivers. But I'll accept the therapeutic challenge!
My husband started dementia behaviors 8 years ago when he was 62. It took me 5 years to attribute it to dementia which his mom had at 75. Then I started the dementia preparation, doctors, moved from Florida back north to be near our children, etc. etc. etc. At first, I thought this will develop slowly as his mom lived to 91. No it did not.
He is about to turn 71 and he isn't really here anymore. He is still the careful, kind man I married 36 years ago, but has no cognitive abilities left. We have 6 children (middle aged now) and only 2 of them are involved with us anymore. I thinik the others can't take it.
I do not need to go through the litany of behaviors because I'm guessing you all know them. But, last November he began nightly dangerous activities (no, he doesn't sleep much, maybe 2-3 hours). I woke up to the smell of gas. He had turned on the gas stove but the burner had not lit. I have no idea how long it was on but it had filled the house. There were other things he did and does as well but nothing that dangerous IMO. Like when he closed the drain to the sink, had the water on full blast and the master bath and bedroom flooded (we had gone out for about 3 hours). That was a good time.
I began then to work on getting him 24-hr care. And I am still working on it. Closer but still months away. Part of that is I recall the vows and the love for who he was. But more, it is extremely expensive and there are many I wouldn't let my dog stay in. Apologies to the dog lovers...
We have a system in place now that is a wee bit better but the nights are still a crap shoot. He has extreme OCD where he puts things places. I finally said to myself, so what? Whatever the items are, I just say to myself, I don't have one of those. While I take the paper plate filled with food out of the dish cabinet...

For the others: He wears diapers 24-7 but has never gone in them. I buy those wet rags for adults to wipe him after he does #2 cause he actually wipes his hip. Highly recommend. He showers every 2 days with my constant help but it is getting too much as I think the water scares him. He struggles a lot with sitting on the toilet (he is 6'5"). I am working on getting a lifter for the toilets to help with that. His taste buds are completely different so I cook homemade meals that I know he likes (spaghetti, chili, burgers, etc.) but all the rest are hungryman or mega meals.
Weirdly, the thing I dread the most is shaving him. I envision it cutting him everytime and blood going everywhere. So....I hired a caregiver for 4 hours a week and her primary duty is to shave him. And I leave so I don't get traumatized if he does get a cut from it!
So...find what you can live with and do not lose your joy no matter what. I refuse to give up 36 years of a wonderful marraige to this horrific disease, you shouldn't either.
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Casole
(((((Hugs))))))
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Insomnia. Dealing with payments not applied by hospital for my mom's payment plan, like 3 different months so have to spend energy I don't have on getting that corrected by incompetent imbeciles. What were the dates of her stay, oh I don't know which of the four in the past year how tf do I know. Fax documentation, sure I'll run out to Staples right now. Meanwhile thank God I intercepted the collection letter so I can have the heart attack instead of mom.

Smoke detectors in their apt keep going off. They are all brand new. Hardwired. Nice. Let's give the 80 year olds a heart attack at 2 am. Oh landlord responsibly. Who's the landlord. Me. The electrician has been useless, and I have a fitness inspection coming soon. Supposedly he's ordered all new alarms to exchange them out.


The latest this morning was dad was convinced the faux hardwood floor imitation grain were watermarks from leaks. Apt renovation ptsd. (the pipes burst 2 years ago). But honestly he looks for problems.


Mom's OTC Tylenol she ordered didn't arrive from Amazon and she only has 8 left. Let's have a breakdown about that even tho I can get them from any pharmacy. And sure dad let's mention it several times a day to get her all wound up. Super helpful, thanks.


Dad's obsession now is with parking in the driveway. Who is going to park where. (the tenant upstairs has, started bringing his work truck home so it's a change and has dad's brain on fire). It's all making me insane.

No solutions or "it's your choice" I know all that just venting. It's "my whine moment"
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