Follow
Share
Read More
1 2 3 4 5
cwillie, I SOOOO appreciate anyone giving me a "wide berth". Truly I do. When someone is masked today, they clearly are afraid for some reason to get covid. When I was getting radiation therapy a good bout with covid would have ruined the plan for certain! And yes, at 83, I hope to continue to avoid it.
Masking, to my mind, is a personal choice. I love not getting the sniffles, the flu, or anything else for five years, as I said. Covid isn't the killer it was, but if I can avoid it by having YOU avoid ME, ha ha! I am all for that. So masking up on the bus will continue, likely lifelong, to be my choice. And I would bet anyone concerned enough to be wearing a mask, more than appreciates folks avoiding them on the bus. I know I certainly do.
(4)
Report

Cwillie, when I see anyone masked, I now assume that they are infectious themselves but still want to go out. How I learned that? From sitting next to one in a theater! I give them a wide berth for that reason, not just because they may be immune-compromised.
(2)
Report

Thx Golden and no apologies for typos! I was having a moment when I posted. Some days my detachment mechanism works better than others. You are correct, they are who they are, the aging is definitely amplifying it.

Good news is today was a better day for detachment so I'll take that!!
(1)
Report

casole -sorry for the misspelling🙇‍♀️
(1)
Report

I seldom see anyone masked here any more Alva, when I do I assume they (or their loved ones) are immune compromised and try to give them a lot of space.
(2)
Report

@Eva and cwillie: No, Covid hasn't gone anywhere and likely never will. It is now a virus that we will get, likely more seasonally like flu, etc. The only good news is that it isn't such a killer now, and in fact responsible for few deaths. Eva, do get the test and be sure whether or not this is covid because long covid symptoms are still very much a thing with clotting factors changing in blood, and people being more prone to clots, they are finding.
Last month my daughter's inlaws, both 95 got covid. A hospitalization after a fall for the gentleman and the woman did well at home. Both are recovered. It is increased in our waste water testing here in SF, so around. I mask on public transit still, and love not having even had a sniffle for the past five years, so will likely continue that, but unless in a crowd, that's it, and I think I am one of very few on our buses all masked up.
(2)
Report

casple -an you detach a bit from your mom's and dad's issues? They can really drag you down. It's how they are, no one can fix them, just keep them safe, fed etc. The alarms are a big nuisance!!!

glad I was banned on face book and no matter how I explained, appealed etc I got no response so I started a new page. Unlike Alva, I have it in my own name and that has not been a problem. A few of my ex students and friends have found me nand that was the idea. Good luck with it.

Burnt - I waited months -never got back.

Eva hope you are getting better and that it is not covid.

Like cwillie I have read that cases are increasing again,

So tired of these sinus issues, but getting a handle on the new set of allergies - I think!!! On the other hand, at my age, seeing that that is all (plus the CFS/FM) I have to worry about, I consider myself very fortunate.

Here we are having our summer in September. Certainly way better than not at all.
(1)
Report

Covid never went away. But I saw a recent article (cbc I think) that rates are indeed on the rise
(BTW I hope you feel better soon Evamar)
(1)
Report

Is Covid back?
I think I am having that or just bad cold.
(1)
Report

@Gladimhere

Just wait it out with Facebook. They go through this nonsense every so often when everyone gets suspended over nothing then they get normal again. Facebook is crap anyway these days. Join Bluesky. It's way better than Facebook.
(0)
Report

Glad,
Facebook? And you're there for Sourdough? I am there for Art, Cooking (Wyse Guide is my favorite), Books, Movies (recommends of which from Red Carpet I get at my library), gardening, crafts, sewing and fashion exploration, museums, libraries. I love it. Have only about 60-some friends, and know each one.
As to being suspended? Make it clear that if you ever are you will make a new profile. Then do so. Simple. New email, new profile and you are back. Because FB doesn't care. It just wants you there. You are another number for them. Feel free to use them. They fully understand being used. And my recommend, never use your real name or any other real information on it. Consider it the same way you would consider a playground if you were 6 years old. Don't take it too seriously.
Good luck getting back on.
(1)
Report

duplicate.
(0)
Report

Glad FB is an interesting place as to the "jail". I swear to you a few years ago I was sent there for,,, posting too many thank you's in an hour to people who wished me happy birthday! Luckily only lasted a week, and believe me I posted about it! Good luck. Who knew sourdough was so divisional
(2)
Report

Gladimhere,

Ugh on Facebook. So frustrating!! Thx for info on the hardwired alarms. They are all brand new, installed in March. Batteries have all been changed and the alarms were all dusted out recently too in case that was the problem. I'm starting to think it's something about the electrical work itself which I hope it's not and that getting new ones will solve it.


I've also read the new ones are extremely photosensitive and can be triggered even by changes in temperature which is why it's always in the middle of the night!!


The electrician is not great imo and then I'll have to back to the general contactor which I'm not great at. They are so unresponsive.

Hope the fb issue gets resolved soon and I'm glad you have a group unrelated to anything to do with caregiving!!!
(1)
Report

Now my whine. About ten days ago I was suspended by Facebook, quite the shock! I don't post any political commentary or anything that could be considered insensitive. My favorite groups are related to sourdough which I started playing with about 7 months ago, and it is a journey. My suspension has had the affect of making me feel even more isolated than I do already.

There is no way to fix it unless you process an appeal, then appeal that appeal that is then reviewed by the same AI that generated the suspension. There is absolutely no customer service or way to find out exactly what the issue is, I would fix it. Now I have to wait on human review which could take weeks. There must be a better way.
(0)
Report

Casole, on fire alarm issues, I have recently had to deal with that as well. All fire/smoke/CO2 alarms have battery backups and all are interconnected. When you change one battery you need to change all of them. I also learned that they are only good for about ten years, then all need to be replaced. One way to tell is that the devices are white at manufacture and as they age they turn beige/yellow to indicate time to change. Hope that helps.
(2)
Report

I howled when I saw your question about whining moments! Very very brave thing to do for dementia caregivers. But I'll accept the therapeutic challenge!
My husband started dementia behaviors 8 years ago when he was 62. It took me 5 years to attribute it to dementia which his mom had at 75. Then I started the dementia preparation, doctors, moved from Florida back north to be near our children, etc. etc. etc. At first, I thought this will develop slowly as his mom lived to 91. No it did not.
He is about to turn 71 and he isn't really here anymore. He is still the careful, kind man I married 36 years ago, but has no cognitive abilities left. We have 6 children (middle aged now) and only 2 of them are involved with us anymore. I thinik the others can't take it.
I do not need to go through the litany of behaviors because I'm guessing you all know them. But, last November he began nightly dangerous activities (no, he doesn't sleep much, maybe 2-3 hours). I woke up to the smell of gas. He had turned on the gas stove but the burner had not lit. I have no idea how long it was on but it had filled the house. There were other things he did and does as well but nothing that dangerous IMO. Like when he closed the drain to the sink, had the water on full blast and the master bath and bedroom flooded (we had gone out for about 3 hours). That was a good time.
I began then to work on getting him 24-hr care. And I am still working on it. Closer but still months away. Part of that is I recall the vows and the love for who he was. But more, it is extremely expensive and there are many I wouldn't let my dog stay in. Apologies to the dog lovers...
We have a system in place now that is a wee bit better but the nights are still a crap shoot. He has extreme OCD where he puts things places. I finally said to myself, so what? Whatever the items are, I just say to myself, I don't have one of those. While I take the paper plate filled with food out of the dish cabinet...

For the others: He wears diapers 24-7 but has never gone in them. I buy those wet rags for adults to wipe him after he does #2 cause he actually wipes his hip. Highly recommend. He showers every 2 days with my constant help but it is getting too much as I think the water scares him. He struggles a lot with sitting on the toilet (he is 6'5"). I am working on getting a lifter for the toilets to help with that. His taste buds are completely different so I cook homemade meals that I know he likes (spaghetti, chili, burgers, etc.) but all the rest are hungryman or mega meals.
Weirdly, the thing I dread the most is shaving him. I envision it cutting him everytime and blood going everywhere. So....I hired a caregiver for 4 hours a week and her primary duty is to shave him. And I leave so I don't get traumatized if he does get a cut from it!
So...find what you can live with and do not lose your joy no matter what. I refuse to give up 36 years of a wonderful marraige to this horrific disease, you shouldn't either.
(4)
Report

Casole
(((((Hugs))))))
(2)
Report

Insomnia. Dealing with payments not applied by hospital for my mom's payment plan, like 3 different months so have to spend energy I don't have on getting that corrected by incompetent imbeciles. What were the dates of her stay, oh I don't know which of the four in the past year how tf do I know. Fax documentation, sure I'll run out to Staples right now. Meanwhile thank God I intercepted the collection letter so I can have the heart attack instead of mom.

Smoke detectors in their apt keep going off. They are all brand new. Hardwired. Nice. Let's give the 80 year olds a heart attack at 2 am. Oh landlord responsibly. Who's the landlord. Me. The electrician has been useless, and I have a fitness inspection coming soon. Supposedly he's ordered all new alarms to exchange them out.


The latest this morning was dad was convinced the faux hardwood floor imitation grain were watermarks from leaks. Apt renovation ptsd. (the pipes burst 2 years ago). But honestly he looks for problems.


Mom's OTC Tylenol she ordered didn't arrive from Amazon and she only has 8 left. Let's have a breakdown about that even tho I can get them from any pharmacy. And sure dad let's mention it several times a day to get her all wound up. Super helpful, thanks.


Dad's obsession now is with parking in the driveway. Who is going to park where. (the tenant upstairs has, started bringing his work truck home so it's a change and has dad's brain on fire). It's all making me insane.

No solutions or "it's your choice" I know all that just venting. It's "my whine moment"
(3)
Report

Glad: Good to see you!
(1)
Report

Hello all! I am happy to see so many of you are still here. I have moved back home, two years ago now. Needed an extended break from my previous life. Will think about what I have to say. I have become obsessed with making of sourdough and thinking about what to do next. I do not want to do what I have done previously, google Bucees and Palmer Lake. I am not involved with that, but want nowhere near anything so controversial ad so much development is now.
(4)
Report

I haven't seen DrivingDaisy for about a month at this point. I certainly understand that we sometimes need time off but this seems unusual for her; I am wondering if anyone has a more personal interaction with her and might be aware whether she is OK?
(2)
Report

Lisa - sounds like nothing will please her.

Llama - I'm sorry that you get it too. Nasty!!!
(1)
Report

Golden: I agree about processed meat and sinus pain. I stay away from those.
(0)
Report

Omg glad im not the only one feeling this..we go out to eat and mom barely eats 1/3. Yet complains if we eat a sandwich at home. Ugghh
(0)
Report

My whine is about sinus pain from food allergies which have gotten much worse since I moved to the condo.

I've had a hard time identifying the causes beyond the usual gluten and dairy but I think finally I am getting somewhere with that.

Processed meats e.g from the deli, sausages, premade burgers can cause a problem. I'm not sure if there are any of these I can eat. It's a slow painful process identifying them.

Then yesterday I think tomato sauce was causing me an issue. I can eat tomatoes, no problem.

There are processed foods I can eat - bacon for example, thank goodness.

I hardly dare think ahead if I have to be in a facility as they generally don't cater to people with allergies.
(1)
Report

Evamar: You're welcome.
(0)
Report

Thanks Llama.
and sorry Beatty HHF, Alva. Meant of course thank you not tank you.
(3)
Report

Evamar: Hugs to you.
(2)
Report

Tank you Beatty, Hothouseflower and Alva.
Alva,
I think your medical system is still not as broken as ours. But care seems to be better here, basic idea is not to punish (exact words used)other spouse when separation is nobody’s fault and not a choice.
They really care about caregivers and recognize it, respite, therapy.
And if hubby ends up in hospital and unable to come back placement is immediate. I am not even involved in that.
I just read yesterday on this forum how one poster cannot deal with husband with dementia, no respite, she is afraid she will live in poverty if she place him.
One person cannot do what well rested staff can do, working 8 hours and getting 16 hours between shifts, two days off or however their schedule works.
(3)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter