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Susan ... the folds of the skin are very susceptible to yeast infection when folks don't get bathed enough. Mom was getting yeast infections under her breasts until we started blow drying her skin after a bath making sure to get all the creases and crevices. Then putting on a thin layer of Vagisil under her breasts or anywhere else that was susceptible. Her skin has been holding up great with this regimen after each bath.

We just make sure all the moisture is dried up.
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Sorry Kaz I tried
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Oh and V ive been in touch with that elderly dad and i wasnt his type!!!!! LOL
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Im saving myself for someone special?? hope thats not my "epitaph".
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Ha! V and you know i turned down a fit young man last night i mean i was flattered but he was too young my friend thought i was nuts as he was quite good looking BUT how do you get rid of them in the morning? had 1 one night stand in my lifetime and swore never again i couldnt get rid of him i eventually thought of setting the flat on fire just to get him out!! nah not for me!
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Kaz there was a poster on hesr looking for ways for her elderly father to satisfy his sexual needs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Susan you are doing a good job with your Mom but standing in a shower with water running all over her is not getting into the skin folds as she can not wash them and refuses to allow you to assist.
I agree with you that a yeast infection is very unpleasant and painful so it is very important to be vigilant as you are. Those under breast areas should be cleaned every day even if you can only use a wipe.
When I suggested a sponge bath I was thinking more in terms of laying on the bed rather than sitting or standing at the bathroom sink
Put a bath sheet on the bed and have her lie down and cover with another bath sheet. She can wash whatever she wishes but you can take over and get the under arms and under breasts. Only uncover the part you are washing. Wash right down her belly but not between her legs. Wash her legs and feet keeping the genital area covered (another place I am sure she doesn't like you to go.) Pay special attention to her feet and between her toes which is another area where the fungus can grow. Be sure to dry between the toes well.
Now have her roll onto her side and wash her back. Now you can get at the genital area from behind and do a really good job. Apply Peparation H tm to any area of redness around the anus, and inspect the vaginal area for any discharge.
many women refuse help with bathing especially if they are older and it is a family member because of embaressment Respecting her privacy may go a long way to getting her co-operation and getting a thorough job done.
Now if after you done a few bed baths and she is willing you can try the shower again and she may be more prepared to let you touch those private areas.
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OR mondays tuesdays wednesdays,thursdays,fridays OR saturdays!!!LOL
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Dry tobacco! thats bad but i woke up to NO tobacco! hate that as had to walk to shops half asleep hungover and no coffee in me (not a nice person without my morning coffee) especially hungover! Had a good night 3 glasses of wine though and i was quite drunk? slept until 1pm!! its sunday thats what you do on sundays OR make love all day sunday but being single that aint possible so its sleep now! gosh how sad is that!! yep i guess thats my whine no sex on sundays!
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Shoot, I hit send too soon.

Today, she forgot how to turn the ceiling fan off and said it must be broken. I stood up and pulled the chain - fan off! She said, "Oh...I guess I was pulling the wrong chain" - so it never dawned on her to try the other chain - just stood there and kept pulling the wrong one.

I hate this for her. It's these little things that the rest of the family (one sibling in particular) doesn't see and brushes under the rug, because they don't want to believe Mom is aging and the decline is progressing more rapidly these days. The one sibling asks if Mom reads, or keeps her mind active. Yes, of course she does - I make sure she has books, magazines, and her senior newspaper - I pay for the subscriptions myself - and she reads them, but says often that she can't seem to focus for very long and would rather watch tv.
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Veronica - no offense, but a sponge bath is *not* just as good. Mom is just over 300lbs - she has skin folds and areas that are *very* difficult to reach with a sponge bath. I refuse to cave in to that until she is no longer able to get into a tub or shower. She refuses to let me help her wash, and she cannot reach all of her necessary areas anymore due to her weight. I am doing all I can to help, but if she won't let me help her wash, then a shower at least gets water into those areas and rinses them down. Daughter52 - you understand exactly what I'm saying - if Mom doesn't wash at least every other day and put a protective cream in certain areas of her body, she ends up developing a yeast infection on her skin in those folds and the odor is enough to make you gag - not kidding. If you've never experienced that, you have no idea - it's BAD. If it's let go long enough, the skin will break open, and there's a huge risk for infection - and then she'll end up in the hospital. So by insisting that she shower and take care of these things, I really do have her best interest at heart.

Mom *did* shower yesterday, after we really had it out over the shower issue. This is *not* a case of being afraid of water, small spaces or anything else - it's part of the encroaching dementia - the loss of interest in doing things she normally would do as part of her daily routine. She simply doesn't care to shower, and it's difficult (too much work) to lift her legs and get into the shower (I do help with that) - so she doesn't want to do it. After a very long talk, during which both of us broke down in tears - me in frustration because all I want is for her to be healthy (part of which is being CLEAN), and she because she felt I was being too hard on her about the shower thing, which she sees as a non-issue - she finally understood that all I was trying to do is what is best for her.

I felt like a wrung out dishrag at the end of that one.

Today, though - my nephew said at breakfast (Mom wasn't there) that before I moved in w/Mom, the house "smelled really bad", and that no one wanted to visit. Now, he said, it smells nice in there! The smell before I moved in was from the open sores on Dad's legs that weren't being cared for, and lack of showering by both Mom and Dad. I count that as a major victory.
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Got the full bath and prettiest gown on today and used good old soap..the foaming rinseless kind is ok but when I bathe her I like to use the soap...takes a little extra time and have to make sure I get all the soap residue off, but Mama really enjoys that good feeling I think...she's ready for the day...I look like crapola..but that's ok....when I am here alone I can just pull the curtains and if brother is here, he can entertain....think I'll have another cup of coffee and then get me a nice hot bath....easing up on myself is helping a LOT......
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well , my tobacco is getting a little dry , thats always a small irritant .
otherwise i dont have a fuss this am . gonna have more coffee and go see edna . poa is giving me a little hassle but im staying focused ; ednas QOL near her end of life . family always gets emotional and lashes out during these times . aint gonna let it bother me .
themmmmn ,
themmmmn,
f themmmnn..

lol
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You are right on that one SusanA43. The dislike of showers and love of TV are common. Today is "Shower Day" again and I am expecting "the look" when I tell her. Unfortunately, mom sweats and develops a not so nice smell if I don't. I am currently getting an evaluation for in home care services. It would be nice if they would get someone to come in and take over that one for me and then I would be free of the shower fight.
Also I do try to get her away from the tv too but it's her go to.
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Just a little whine. I am sitting here trying to concentrate and hubby comes in turns on the TV and my train of thought is trashed.
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Susan why bother a good spong bath works just as well.
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SusanA43, I wonder if some people start having a fear of being in a small place, like a shower stall.... I now I have developed that phobia and I found if I left the sliding glass doors open at both ends, it does help a bit. Never had that problem when using a shower curtain. Very strange.
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Kaz have a pint or 6 for me!!
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I"m a little late replying, but Kazaa, trust me - Mom's not afraid of water. She's told me more than once when we had the shower discussion that she just doesn't feel like getting in there. I know it's hard to get in and out of the tub, but I am right there to help her every time, to be sure she doesn't fall, and I lift her leg in and out of the tub so she doesn't have to step over. I think it's just part of the dementia process - she's lost interest in a lot of things she used to do, and prefers to just sit here and watch tv, and if I never made her shower again, she'd be happy as a clam.
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Well ive gathered up a few pennies and am off out for a few drinks with a friend hope its a good night as i could do with a laugh right now! i havnt been out in a pub since xmas?? mums fed watered and cleaned!! Yep im going to get a bit drunk and forget about my troubles tonight!!
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Kaz...yep, sick of hearing other folks bitch about how rough they have it....because none of it seems to stop em from visiting, going on trips, buying whatever they want whenever they want it, getting to get up and get dressed and go somewhere without having to worry about who is going to watch someone back home...boo damn hoo......this MIL makes it especially bad as she and her daughter aka ex SIL are the two people who totally disrespected my family the entire time my brother and she were married. I have told my brother and told him why in hell does this woman think we want her here...sad truth is she is now getting senile, I can tell it and I honestly think she may have forgotten what a bitch she was to us..and especially to my Mama...I have blown her out of the water more than once but she keeps coming back....so now will do what I did the other day, just go to my room and take a nap....It has taken my brother almost three years to see the toll this is taking on me, but isn't worrying him enough to take any of the toll off me either....Normally I would be out int he yard today, mowing, pruing weeding, etc...I have decided it is too stinking hot and I am not going to do any of it...whatever doesn't get done in the house is OK too....one of my friends just sent me a note that says "God loves the caregiver".....I started to send back several responses, and finally just didn't do anything...in my heart I know that is true...but we also know God loves us all, including the do nothing back stabbers who abandoned our butts a long time ago...so right now all that is somewhat mystifying to me....other than trying to take care of Mama, I don't see a lot of accomplishment in this day for me...whine, whine, whine..sorry folks...some days are just worse than others I guess.
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Yep, Daphne ( my dog) is very in tune with ma. I let mom do what she will with Daphne. I lost that battle long ago. Daph is 12 and very much a girly dog. However, my rescue girl I got 5 months ago is MY dog and I do not allow mom to coddle her. She's 80 lbs of love and enthusiasm and can knock you flat!! Besides, I need to keep something that is mine, just mine!! Mine mine mine! DO NOT TOUCH or FEED!! MINE! hehehe
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jeannette B that poor dog!! so funny but i reckon my cat knows mums nuts hes always following her in the garden like "whats she up to now?" so funny im sure the dog knows shes not with it!! animals are so in tune with people its funny!
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Hope we all feel the "darkness" at times in this game! BUT there is no light without darkness! so just know that one day your life will be full of light again! I think we have to go through crap in life just to appreciate how good life can be and make the most of it! Ive done things like you if there are visitors which is rare? i just leave the house i dont want small talk im not in the mood AND ill tell you now if anyone came here hoping to dump thier "im not happy crap" on me id boot them out the door! as Jack nicholas says in "as good as it gets" "were all stacked up here!!!" love that line! You must have great patience i would not entertain ex MIL telling you her problems? if my friends moan i change the subject or avoid them thier pissy little moans are nothing compared to what im going through so im not a good listener these days!
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Very true Veronica!! It's these little things I'm so grateful for!! LOL!
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So true...ignore the stupid and find the sunshine...I love it! I think that is why I've retreated into my own little world again...the people out there are mostly idiots...I'd rather just not deal with them...I told Hospice if they could not come at a time that actually helped me, there is no point in the bath aid coming at all. They didn't come this week after that...said they were going to start on Monday coming early. we will see. I am keeping my blinds fixed today so I can see approaching and also ignore any of the ones I don't want. I have gotten the household settled down for a spell, so I think I am headed for a nice hot bath with my Daffodil Apple bubbles...that is the bright spot in my day these days....
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At least she gives you clues rather than potty in the garbage can!!!!!!!!
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Totally agree hope22!!! It does usually fall on ONE person (normally a female) and people DO tend to assume if you have a large family that you've got all the help in the world. NOT!! Funny how people tend to disappear when you most need them. I'm thinking there is a lot of stupid idiots out there.... clueless people fer shur. Personally, I find it so much easier without my siblings around. Life is quieter ... I can make my own decisions and go about doing what needs done. Not to mention it keeps my crazy level down.

Why is it, our mother's at times, find our ailments funny? My mom did the same laughing bit yesterday at the Dr's office. Her blood pressure is awesome. Mine is about to explode at any moment. Seriously. Anywho, she laughed and said ha ha mine is better than yours. *smirk* well that *smirk* quickly faded when I told her if I had a heart attack or stroke her next stop was a nursing home cuz her precious sonnnnsssss where damn sure not going to do what I do. HA!

Get your happy back hope22....life seems easier when you ignore the stupid and find sunshine. Speaking of sunshine and summer.... it can be 98 degrees outside and someone I won't mention will wear a sweatshirt and jacket. I finally had to hide her knit hat cuz I swear she'd wear that too!! Last night she must have been cold (I'm sweating buckets) so what does she do? She piles blankets, shirts, socks... on top of the DOG!! LOL!! She likes to project her feelings/wants onto the dogs . hehe... this is how I know what SHE wants. If she says the dogs are probably hungry, it means she is.... if the dogs have to go potty, she means she does.... never a dull moment trying to put the puzzle together :D
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One semi comical incident this past Sunday .....my brother had dropped by for his weekly visit and I have just learned to try and enjoy those. He does bring my lunch and the conversation is pleasant enough...We were sitting there enjoying Mama and all of a sudden, I'll be danged if here his ex mother in law was standing there at the door...as usual, dropping in....so in she came....all dressed to the nines..as always...and started up with her usual whining about how hard her life is....THEN, I'll be danged if here didn't roll up one of my brother's friends, in his fancy ass convertible sports car...dressed to the nines, wearing shades...looking like Richard Gere in American Gigolo, and here I sat, in my loungewear, no makeup, hair not even combed, thank God I had bathed, but you know what? I didn't want to deal with it so I just got up, told my brother "deal with em" and I went to bed. Didn't come out til everyone was gone and let my brother take care of Mama til I got back up...that may just start happening a lot more....looking back it was almost like a Seinfeld episode......
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helpontheway...yes, thank you! on a very positive note, the dentist came out yesterday afternoon, looked at Mama's teeth, told me the one that was broken appeared OK, no inflammation and apparently no issue...the one that is loose, he said, is not compared to so many he sees in the elderly and he did not think it would ever be a problem for her, especially as she is on a totally liquid diet and does not chew...he told me that if it was his mom he would just let it be..which seems to be the consensus of what I am hearing, but he also said if we decided to have it removed, he would COME TO OUR HOME and do so....thank you God! yes, it made me feel hopeful just knowing there are actually some good caring folks still in the health care industry... so that was a very positive moment...and so I will live on that one for a while...
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