Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
Yep sallie i have no fun left now as no more chocolate so ive decided i may qualify to become a nun? they say women prefer chocolate to sex? guess thats me stuffed then!! nah apparently the chocolate gives women the same buzz as sex its not that we perfer it its just a substitute while we are single!!!
Well sallie once all this crap in my life is over im gonna die happy preferably while im having sex now thats the ultimate way to go!! "if you wake up feeling youve had it...........be grateful" LOL
(0)
Report

Lol Kazz, I can see it now... Here lies Kazz, worn out all week, drunk on Saturdays, hungover on Sunday's and sex starved to boot!
(0)
Report

Yeh emjo i know but i do feel better when i avoid them so i just have to make it a lifestyle change! its never been a problem until i came home to mum?? its hard being good when youre comfort eating but i can see now there is no point and once the cravings go which usually takes a week it gets easier!! also avoiding these particular foods keeps you young looking so win win!!
(1)
Report

Oh and kazzaa - re the foods - probably will get worse if you keep eating those foods. Like giving yourself a booster shot.
(0)
Report

hope -today is a new day... You are wise to go from here.

kazzaa - your mum's bloods being high will have an effect over time and may cause a crisis at some point. I know it is frustrating, but you can't make her go to the doc. Here they send people to the house to collect blood samples - wonderful for older and less mobile people. Keeping some kind of a record of how many times you have asked her may help. Other than that you just have to keep on keeping on, keep your own BP down, tend to her the best you can, but let her go her merry way if she insists. No one can convince my mother to do the things she needs to do. She is experiencing the not-so-great consequences of that. It is always hard watching someone you care for do self destructive things. Detach and look after you.
(1)
Report

oh wow, grammatical errors everywhere...wish I had an edit button....
(1)
Report

Countrymouse...you are sooo right...Grass always greener...I am going to suck it up and be thankful that a lot of things are provider FOC for Mama that were not with the other and keep remembering that to have gotten to that point there were other things that happened that caused this to be a dealbreaker...so onward and forward. The new CNA finally got here today and she was very nice, said she would be earlier most of the time...I also must remember these folks have all kinds of things that happen when they get to someones home...just because things generally go smoothly here, I know that is not always the case and it doesn't take but one lengthy appointment to throw someone's day off completely...I know that from my own personal work experience, so am reminded of it again, and am easing up....In reality, I know Hospice folks works hard, it is far from an easy breezy job, particularly on the nurses and CNA's so I am going to cut some slack and know that in this caregiving life, things are rarely going to go as you anticipate they should....as long as Mama is taken care of that is the ONLY thing that matters...I'm a big girl, I can get with the program.... :)
(2)
Report

CM if youre the carer why do any of them have POA finance or otherwise? you should have this in my eyes the carer gets to call the shots here and noone else! OR come and look after them?

Yeh Cm have tried the blindness,losing limbs etc......shoved graphic pictures in her face and shell just say well you smoke???????? no brother is right let it go and wait because this woman is either superman or her luck is going to run out very soon! yeh she is supposed to go to diabetic clinic every month but hey guess what she refuses to go????? she says ALL nurses and docs are useless and cant help her now?? maybe shes right? i think the real fear here is that shes terrified of going into a home and will avoid anything to do with the system? let her be as something will happen im done trying and it just causes a huge row everytime!

"stop treating me like an idiot" ok mum fine so stop behaving like one??? yeh lifes too short let her live her life the way she wants until she falls or has another siezure or worse?

Diabetes is a b*tch to control when i had her on a strict diet her bloods were perfect BUT she was having more hypos? now shes eating what she likes her bloods are high but hey no hypos OR hypers??????? sometimes a too strict a diet is not good either so its damn near impossible to get this illness just right?
(0)
Report

I think sometimes some folk have to be allowed to crash. Sooner or later she'll go into some diabetic type of episode which will require an ambulance. Once she is out of house, perhaps it could be made permanent: she'll end up where she will have no choice. She can be as stubborn as she wants to: she will be medicated.

two cents ¢¢
(3)
Report

Hope, we all know that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence - and we all keep hopping the fence! "We live and learn, but none the wiser grow…" Do NOT beat yourself up about it. It was worth a try. It sounded good. Now two choices: 1. go back to the people with the nice CNA, eat some humble pie, and see if they'll have you back OR 2. start training the new people in more righteous ways and get them to get their fingers out and stop being such a waste of your space.

Sigh. I know neither is an attractive option. I share with you a heartfelt desire that life would be simple and that people would do what they say they will do. Sigh again.

Kazzaa, one guilt avoidance strategy is to record each time you ask your mother to let you make an appointment for her blood test and she declines the offer. You can get sophisticated and record the reason (like that bloke who spreadsheeted all his partner's reasons for refusing sex :-0) or you can just keep track of how many times. Then, when she's facing amputation or blindness, which by the way you could download for her to enjoy looking at if you were feeling sadistic, you can remind not her but yourself that You Did Your Best. On a more practical note, is your GP linked with a Nurse Practitioner in Diabetes? - because they're usually pretty good at getting recalcitrant patients to toe the line. It might be worth finding your nearest one and grassing your mother up to her.

I'm feeling pretty jaundiced today, I must admit. Finally got out of the house for a couple of hours at half past two, and I really really didn't want to come home. Though then I realised I did want to come home, I just didn't want the other two people in it to be there. So came home anyway to my real whine moment of the day: a little flurry of emails from my unutterably useless bloody family. Brother and sister who share finance POA think the respite care near my brother's town is too expensive (it IS too expensive - the fees are frankly cheeky). So somehow BIL, sister's husband, has been nominated to negotiate a fee reduction. That's very nice of him, and I wish him every success, and I look forward to hearing the outcome; but why is HE having to do this? Why is our mother suddenly his problem? What is the matter with these people? Have they lost the power of speech?
(3)
Report

Mums doc rang to know why he hasnt received her "bloods" told him she wont go and get them done? he said ok fine? wtf do i do now she just wont go and do what shes told these bloods are important as she has diabetes and her bloods have shot up? im drained from trying to get her to take her diabetes more seriously but shes getting more and more stubborn by the day? she wont see doc and hasnt been since before xmas? wont cooperate with carer coming in? i just let it go but how long can this go on until she hypos or hypers? my brother says let her be then and when something does happen she will have to get help? cant handle this stubborness its easy to say let it go then if something does happen ill blame my self? shes wearing me down now her attitude stinks you wonder why you bother? you cant help someone who wont help themselves?
(2)
Report

I am just plain tired and after a stressful three-day weekend, MIL passed away. And I'll admit, I am going to have to leave the whining thread alone for awhile.
(3)
Report

I have nowhere else to go for this, so yall forgive me, but here I go.......Hospice providers.......in hindsight....what I SHOULD have done was go to the upper mgt one more time and see what could be done to either help Mama's tooth situation or else tell me they weren't going to do anything so I could just handle it...oh wait....I DID do that......moving forward...I change to a different provider, whom, as I advised, came roaring in with all the bells and whistles and yes they do provide some things the other one did not, but all in all, what I have lost in exchange for it was NOT worth it...What I HAD was a nurse who I trusted, and what I LOVED most of all was the assistant I could count on and set my watch by to be here on M W F at 8:00 AM to bath Mama....I had to do all of Mama's bathing last week as they could not find anyone who could fit us in their schedule...and here I sit.. ...And all in all, the whole tooth issue...I handled on my own...the new folks, despite what they told me, did nothing to assist in that....in fact, they also told me they were getting arrangements handled, and then when I finally called towards the end of the week, the lady who was "handling" it told me she was wondering if I had heard anything as she had not talked to anyone...translation...I did nothing to help you as I promised...and I found a dentist who came to OUR home and confirmed that Mama was find...no need for any concern, but that if and when that time arose, he would come back to our home and do whatever needed doing....so I handled that...and that was the reason I changed...stupidly or not, I miss the CNA and our nurse....I was so angry that morning I did not stop to think what I was going to lose....oh well, what is done is done. I am trying so hard not to be a butt or someone they don't want to see coming...If my leg did not hurt so bad this morning I would kick myself in the butt......
(1)
Report

Congrats on your new kitten Ashlynne! It's always so nice to me to hear of wonderful folks rescuing God's gentle creatures....even in the midst of all they have going on. My cats are a comfort to Mama and a huge amount of comfort and companionship to me. Blessings to you for saving that baby...
(5)
Report

Thanks everyone. I really don't know what I'd do without all you wonderful people! Went to bed early and was awake at midnight. Let the dogs out to pee, they went back to bed and I'm wide awake, mind going a mile a minute. It's 3.30 a.m. and I must get some sleep so I'm having a little (ahem) liquid sleep aid. I'll pay for it in the morning but once I get some coffee into me I'll be good to go.

Lucy, the tiny kitten, has been with me three weeks now. When rescued she was loaded with worms, fleas and lice so she's been quarantined in the sun room. She's had two vet visits (bankruptcy anyone? lol), is much stronger now and has had her first shots so I think it will be ok to take her to visit and it will mean so much to my mother.

So far as forgiving is concerned, yes I'm just now able to do that. My mother came from the dysfunctional family from h*ll and she knew no better. Monkey see, monkey do as they say.

Off back to bed. My old cat, Jake, who is deaf and likes to talk loudly to himself in the night is quiet and hopefully the little dog, Sue, who sleeps in my bed, has left me some space :)
(4)
Report

ash, nh doesnt get very exited about how much food the patient gets down. the nurse will be around later with a little energy shake that will sustain them with or without food . my aunt has only been in nh bout 2 weeks and shes getting healthy and more active but still feels something is about to get her . i think shes right because shes losing her vision rapidly . her eyes physically hurt . dementia i think.
(0)
Report

Lynne (((((hugs))))) No matter what the past was, (and I am not trivializing it), this is a difficult time for you and for your mum. You have done right by her despite the cost to yourself, and you can feel proud of that. Bringing the kitten in would be a lovely gesture. I know I will feel some conflicting emotions when that time comes. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
(5)
Report

Ash this is the time to forgive. It will take such a burden off your shoulders. Take that little bundle of fur in to see her that will be a good memory to keep. She has started her journey so let her leave all the pain she has caused others behind as she leaves her earthly live and enters whatever lies ahead. She is the only mother you will ever have so say goodbye in peace and forgiveness. Blessings for you both.
(7)
Report

fadinshadows i had a very bad absess over a bank holiday wkend on my back i put coconut oil on it after every bath and it was gone ina few days!! doc was shocked "i told him he was fired".
Every house should have this its a lifesaver!! yep will kill anything on your body that shouldnt be there!!
also use it as a mouthwash it kills all bacteria in the mouth!
i feel like an ad for this stuff but trust me its great for everything! teatree also for washing!
(1)
Report

my mother was afflicted with the brilliant madness . manic depression -- old school . its why ive never lied to her in my life .. pretty calculative when theyre " up "
(0)
Report

Kaz ... didn't know that about coconut oil. May try that in the future.
(0)
Report

Cap your mum sounds like she was a very funny woman my mum too has a great sense of humour! she collapsed in macdonalds one day years ago when the ambulance arrived they asked if she was ok? she said "no i wanted to collapse in marks and spencers they give you a free voucher if you collapse there" the ambulance man said hed never heard anything so funny!
(5)
Report

Yes Ash bring her in the kitten that will do her alot of good! be strong ash this is going to be tough on you know that everyone is here for you and your animals will comfort you thats the beauty of them!!

Hugs feel for you now as been there!!
(0)
Report

ash, your mother IS going soon . aunt edna feels things dying in her too . id guess kidneys , digestive -- both stemming from that ongoing " back of eyeball " headache . she told me today , while in a fine mood and out of the blue , that shed just as soon get " this " over with .
at her final 3 days of life my mother walked beside me and asked me how she was going to get out of " this " one . if you had a selfish and abusive mother i dont blame you for not being very sympathetic at this point but i think your hurting yourself .
(2)
Report

Got a call from the NH at 9 p.m. last evening. Mother had tried to get out of bed and fallen. No harm done but she was obsessing that her mother had just died - grandma died in 75 so that would make her about 120. They said they would watch her over night. I called the desk at 6 a.m. and they said she'd been ok all night.

This morning, on my way to the hardware store, I dropped in (lunch time and she's been refusing lunch for ages) with a sardine sandwich, her favourite, soft bread with the crusts cut off but I couldn't persuade her to have even one bite. I said just have a nibble, there's nothing like a nibble in the middle of the day. She smiled but still refused, saying leave it and I'll eat it later. She also said she wasn't going to supper as she was so weak and tired. She said "I'm going soon" to which I responded "You're not going anywhere until you eat that sandwich!",

She also said she was out in the halls yesterday looking for her cat (which staff confirmed), the little black cat. Her cat, Pixie, is a tortie, 5 and lives with me. She's taken a great interest in Lucy, a wee black starving kitten I rescued off a back road recently. She couldn't remember the name but she had to find her little black cat and where the canned food was kept for it. At supper last night a table mate left meat on her plate. My mother asked for it for "her cat" and the woman refused so I gather there was WWIII.

I spoke to the head nurse on my way out and she will have staff attend to at least try to get her to eat the sandwich. She agreed that my mother has pretty much given up, eats next to thing and drinks little. It's only a matter of time but at least she's in no pain, just fading away. Little Lucy, though still so small, is stronger and healthier now and has had her first shots. I'm thinking of taking her to visit in the next few days.

We've never been close at all bit I'm all she has, in fact she's been the mother from h*ll but to see the way she is today, well I don't know how I feel, sadness that she was never ever happy in this life no matter what possessions and grandeur she had, or lifted a finger to be nice or help anyone unless there was something in it for her. Pity sure, but when I think back over how evil and mean she's been to anyone and everyone who dared cross her path ... well, Karma is a b*tch.

Today my get up and go got up and went though I've done basic chores and cared for my critters. My muscle/helper guy, Joe, is coming tomorrow and we will continue with the renovations. For now I'm going to nap and try to digest what is surely coming very soon.
(2)
Report

Ive just put on "benjamin button" for mum to watch thought shed enjoy it?? this is crap she says?????????????????????? cant win shed prefer jeremy kyle??

I think we should get all these parents online together to "whine" to each other that way we could have a break! instead of b*tching and moaning at us they could b*tch and moan with each other wouldnt that be great!

Im hungover and drained from mum today YEH not easy with mum when your head is like a "bag of frogs".

No matter what i put on tv shell b*tch and moan? i just come online now and give her the remote and pray that she goes to bed soon?

Right now shes watching "hoarding buried alive" oh just shoot me!
(1)
Report

Can i just point out that women in the philipines never get yeast infections why? all thier food is cooked in coconut oil! It kills yeast and any bacteria in the gut and on skin! i love this stuff its great for everything skin,hair,gut,even been known to boost brain cells and MAYBE help with avoiding alz in the future?
(0)
Report

JB we had a good laugh watching the young girls trying to dance in those "heels" glad im not young anymore they were dressed like tarts and those "heels" OMG how can they walk in them?
No i can still party just with less alcohol! i guess im a cheap date now!!
(1)
Report

ROFLMAO!!!!!! Veronica I seriously....seriously spit my coffee out!!

Kaz, we apparently had the same night and woke up without tobacco. Ugh.

Apparently I cannot party like a rockstar anymore. Sure was fun trying!

Big outdoor bbq in a lovely country house, big pool, big drinks, big sunny day and big eats = big headache
(1)
Report

fadinshadows i swear by teatreeoil soap or gels also coconut oil is great for killing anything on the skin!
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter