I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Well sallie once all this crap in my life is over im gonna die happy preferably while im having sex now thats the ultimate way to go!! "if you wake up feeling youve had it...........be grateful" LOL
kazzaa - your mum's bloods being high will have an effect over time and may cause a crisis at some point. I know it is frustrating, but you can't make her go to the doc. Here they send people to the house to collect blood samples - wonderful for older and less mobile people. Keeping some kind of a record of how many times you have asked her may help. Other than that you just have to keep on keeping on, keep your own BP down, tend to her the best you can, but let her go her merry way if she insists. No one can convince my mother to do the things she needs to do. She is experiencing the not-so-great consequences of that. It is always hard watching someone you care for do self destructive things. Detach and look after you.
Yeh Cm have tried the blindness,losing limbs etc......shoved graphic pictures in her face and shell just say well you smoke???????? no brother is right let it go and wait because this woman is either superman or her luck is going to run out very soon! yeh she is supposed to go to diabetic clinic every month but hey guess what she refuses to go????? she says ALL nurses and docs are useless and cant help her now?? maybe shes right? i think the real fear here is that shes terrified of going into a home and will avoid anything to do with the system? let her be as something will happen im done trying and it just causes a huge row everytime!
"stop treating me like an idiot" ok mum fine so stop behaving like one??? yeh lifes too short let her live her life the way she wants until she falls or has another siezure or worse?
Diabetes is a b*tch to control when i had her on a strict diet her bloods were perfect BUT she was having more hypos? now shes eating what she likes her bloods are high but hey no hypos OR hypers??????? sometimes a too strict a diet is not good either so its damn near impossible to get this illness just right?
two cents ¢¢
Sigh. I know neither is an attractive option. I share with you a heartfelt desire that life would be simple and that people would do what they say they will do. Sigh again.
Kazzaa, one guilt avoidance strategy is to record each time you ask your mother to let you make an appointment for her blood test and she declines the offer. You can get sophisticated and record the reason (like that bloke who spreadsheeted all his partner's reasons for refusing sex :-0) or you can just keep track of how many times. Then, when she's facing amputation or blindness, which by the way you could download for her to enjoy looking at if you were feeling sadistic, you can remind not her but yourself that You Did Your Best. On a more practical note, is your GP linked with a Nurse Practitioner in Diabetes? - because they're usually pretty good at getting recalcitrant patients to toe the line. It might be worth finding your nearest one and grassing your mother up to her.
I'm feeling pretty jaundiced today, I must admit. Finally got out of the house for a couple of hours at half past two, and I really really didn't want to come home. Though then I realised I did want to come home, I just didn't want the other two people in it to be there. So came home anyway to my real whine moment of the day: a little flurry of emails from my unutterably useless bloody family. Brother and sister who share finance POA think the respite care near my brother's town is too expensive (it IS too expensive - the fees are frankly cheeky). So somehow BIL, sister's husband, has been nominated to negotiate a fee reduction. That's very nice of him, and I wish him every success, and I look forward to hearing the outcome; but why is HE having to do this? Why is our mother suddenly his problem? What is the matter with these people? Have they lost the power of speech?
Lucy, the tiny kitten, has been with me three weeks now. When rescued she was loaded with worms, fleas and lice so she's been quarantined in the sun room. She's had two vet visits (bankruptcy anyone? lol), is much stronger now and has had her first shots so I think it will be ok to take her to visit and it will mean so much to my mother.
So far as forgiving is concerned, yes I'm just now able to do that. My mother came from the dysfunctional family from h*ll and she knew no better. Monkey see, monkey do as they say.
Off back to bed. My old cat, Jake, who is deaf and likes to talk loudly to himself in the night is quiet and hopefully the little dog, Sue, who sleeps in my bed, has left me some space :)
Every house should have this its a lifesaver!! yep will kill anything on your body that shouldnt be there!!
also use it as a mouthwash it kills all bacteria in the mouth!
i feel like an ad for this stuff but trust me its great for everything! teatree also for washing!
Hugs feel for you now as been there!!
at her final 3 days of life my mother walked beside me and asked me how she was going to get out of " this " one . if you had a selfish and abusive mother i dont blame you for not being very sympathetic at this point but i think your hurting yourself .
This morning, on my way to the hardware store, I dropped in (lunch time and she's been refusing lunch for ages) with a sardine sandwich, her favourite, soft bread with the crusts cut off but I couldn't persuade her to have even one bite. I said just have a nibble, there's nothing like a nibble in the middle of the day. She smiled but still refused, saying leave it and I'll eat it later. She also said she wasn't going to supper as she was so weak and tired. She said "I'm going soon" to which I responded "You're not going anywhere until you eat that sandwich!",
She also said she was out in the halls yesterday looking for her cat (which staff confirmed), the little black cat. Her cat, Pixie, is a tortie, 5 and lives with me. She's taken a great interest in Lucy, a wee black starving kitten I rescued off a back road recently. She couldn't remember the name but she had to find her little black cat and where the canned food was kept for it. At supper last night a table mate left meat on her plate. My mother asked for it for "her cat" and the woman refused so I gather there was WWIII.
I spoke to the head nurse on my way out and she will have staff attend to at least try to get her to eat the sandwich. She agreed that my mother has pretty much given up, eats next to thing and drinks little. It's only a matter of time but at least she's in no pain, just fading away. Little Lucy, though still so small, is stronger and healthier now and has had her first shots. I'm thinking of taking her to visit in the next few days.
We've never been close at all bit I'm all she has, in fact she's been the mother from h*ll but to see the way she is today, well I don't know how I feel, sadness that she was never ever happy in this life no matter what possessions and grandeur she had, or lifted a finger to be nice or help anyone unless there was something in it for her. Pity sure, but when I think back over how evil and mean she's been to anyone and everyone who dared cross her path ... well, Karma is a b*tch.
Today my get up and go got up and went though I've done basic chores and cared for my critters. My muscle/helper guy, Joe, is coming tomorrow and we will continue with the renovations. For now I'm going to nap and try to digest what is surely coming very soon.
I think we should get all these parents online together to "whine" to each other that way we could have a break! instead of b*tching and moaning at us they could b*tch and moan with each other wouldnt that be great!
Im hungover and drained from mum today YEH not easy with mum when your head is like a "bag of frogs".
No matter what i put on tv shell b*tch and moan? i just come online now and give her the remote and pray that she goes to bed soon?
Right now shes watching "hoarding buried alive" oh just shoot me!
No i can still party just with less alcohol! i guess im a cheap date now!!
Kaz, we apparently had the same night and woke up without tobacco. Ugh.
Apparently I cannot party like a rockstar anymore. Sure was fun trying!
Big outdoor bbq in a lovely country house, big pool, big drinks, big sunny day and big eats = big headache