I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
oaktree - that's very frustrating. I think all yiu can do is cut back on the time you are available and let the others deal with the difference. As long as you take thr most part of the burden, they will take advantage of you. Set some limits - say that from next week you are only available for on certain days from this time to that time. Make it to suit you. You are being used and only you can stop that.
Hothouse - I am so sorry. Prayers that the reapplication go through with no more problems. ((((hugs))))
It ruined my and my sister’s Thanksgivings. I think the only reason my father is sticking around is to make my life miserable. This is torturous.
I wish I could turn back the clock and did not sell our parents’ house. There were good reasons that we did last year but this I can’t handle.
I wish it were over.
….that said, my whine for today is how annoying it is to hear that bacon isn’t crispy enough, the gravy is too salty, and turkey should not be seasoned with garlic. 🤪
Way - yup we are Ok, thankfully.
Llama -thanks for the hugs and prayers.
Frogster -I'm sorry That is so hard!!!
Bingo - how are you doing? I hope that talk worked. You need to protect your health.
Hothouse - not nice at all. Your hub is kind to visit.
Alva - good idea for Hothouse's hub to make a few visits on his own.
Finally the insurance company has gotten things straight - I think!!! The car damaged by the moose still sits in its parking space here. R doesn't want me to drive it as the power steering is partly gone since the accident. Today I got a phone call from a manager (I had complained) saying the garage of our choice had been authorized by her to proceed, which is great, but I haven't anything in writing. They authorized the wrong garage to begin with. Hopefully we are on track now and I can get a courtesy car and get my own repaired before the snow .comes to stay.
Other than that the trip was great and I want another holiday soon!!! Folks, they really are good for you!
When you think about it, it is the mom and daughter who have a lifetime of giving one another advice and trying to protect (manage) one another's lives. While the son-in-law is just gently "there" as a friend, with no advice and no management.
Take advantage of this.
Send hubby to visit once in a while and put your feet up, eat bon bons and watch bad TV.
Your note kind of tickled me, much I know it might be annoying.
The caregiver is often the least liked person in the house!
When I go to see him alone, I don’t get the same response. He will wake up to eat and then goes back to sleep and all he wants to know is where my husband is. And it is not for lack of trying on my end.
Stupid stuff, I know. But I know now he is still there and he really doesn’t care if I am visiting if I’m there without my DH.
Just a stupid trivial whine. My father is lucky that he has a son-in-law who visits. His other two do not.
You will never get a moment of judgment from me about not wanting to be a caregiver at home. I wiped a$$ and dealt with the equipment, the dementia, the complaining, the confabulating, the asinine stubbornness, and the nonsense for 25 years as a homecare CNA (I was an APCNA which is equal to an LPN or LVN) before opening a homecare business. I'm still dealing with a lot of the asinine stubborness and nonsense from clients. So I get it.
Here's the thing though. Both of us chose the work we went into. No one forced you to go into nursing and no one forced me to stay in the homecare field. I made excellent money in the private-care industry and you made even better money as a nurse.
If your husband's care is too much for you, that's okay. You don't have to light yourself on fire to keep him warm as that wise saying around here goes. He can be put into care. Yes, you will have hard feelings about it, as everyone does and there will be people who will try to guilt-trip you over it. You have to do what's best for not just your husband, but yourself. If people don't understand, screw them.
I think this is a better approach than a divorce which will not leave you in a good financial situation.
wishing you all the best.
How scary . Glad you are both Ok !
A couple of days ago in Northern Ontario, we had a collision with a young moose. Fortunately R managed to swerve so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The car is damaged but drivable, and we are fine. I'm actually not even much shaken by it, though certainly hoping it's not going to happen again. It's the season when they get out and about.
Other than that we are enjoying ourselves. From Pembroke, where we are now, we will head for the Gatineau and then on the Quebec City. I think that's all we will manage this time. Driving across the Prairies and Northern Ontario takes about a week going and coming back and we only have two weeks. I think to see the Maritimes and Nfld it would be better to fly east and rent a car. Less chance of hitting a moose too.😉
Gabe -fun is always good and so is a break
You are right it is always hard. I think in 50-60s reaching a peak or end of career and dreaming of doing different things is harder and it has that lasting effect, regrets, resentment even, although it is nobody’s fault, just awful diseases.
I am so sorry to hear about R. I hope he will get well with second treatment.
casole - I'm sorry -just when things are working, something changes. Seems to be the times.
R's PSA results are bad - levels are high again so he has to go back on hormone therapy. Not great news and the side effects aren't fun. I'm learning that with cancer if it returns or was never gone, you just have to keep doing what you have to do. Some get a clear bill of health fairly quickly, others not. Also a couple of weeks ago a cousin of his dropped dead (literally) which has shaken him. Probably heart related.
So far my dd is still clear of her cancer, thankfully. I'm still sorting out allergies but am much better than before.
Good news is we are planning a driving holiday to see the colouring in the east. It's been on my bucket list for a while. It will be good to get away.
Main differences seem to be the new one has high oleic safflower oil and calcium caseinate vs soy protein. Supposedly they discussed with her doctor but he said nothing about it at her last visit and it was probably his receptionist who ok'd it after a 1 minute review.
I think I'll introduce it back in with every other carton. And maybe fib a little and say it's essentially the same. She's 81 and anxiety off the charts with any changes same with my dad who does her morning tube feed, changes = no bueno. Diahreaa throws her off for the whole day. She will make herself sick worrying about what it's going to do to her so I have to act like it's no big deal at all.
She only uses the formula in the morning as she can eat some soft food. I'd really like to try a natural formula for her like Kate Farms but I don't know if I have the energy to go through the process getting it approved and I don't even know if it will work for her anyway..
Always something right?
I understand how you feel.
Most express how younger women in their 20s -40s are losing years to caregiving.
How about us 50-60, vibrant, educated, full of life women who sacrificed years of careers and we don’t get another chance?