My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Getting ready for brother/niece visit 2.0. I hope it goes better than last time. I’m actually bribing them. I told him to bring her tuition bill and I would write a check to the school, if he would go along if my dad asked to go to my mom’s grave with him and to simply show some interest in dad. I hope it works.

Bridge, good idea to ask to see the school tuition bill. You want to pay the school directly instead of giving her the money. I hope your dad will ask brother to go visit mom's gravesite. That's the least he can do to "earn" the tuition money. Go visit mom first then you can get paid.

Am I the only one who sees this as propagating/reinforcing family dysfunction into the next generation?

C Willie and any others who think this wrong,

I will do whatever I can to have my Dad happy in his last days. If paying my niece’s tuition bill is the price for my dad to see his only son and granddaughter , that’s what I will pay. If you disapprove, that’s your privilege.

My brother called and cancelled dinner for This evening. He said my niece has to work. I mailed her check made out to the school. I hope they’ll come another time. My dad’s very disappointed.

So sorry, Bridger

Maybe they will reschedule for another time. I hate seeing your dad disappointed. He has a huge heart.

Need, Thank you. He’s a kind, sweet man who will do anything for his children or grandchildren. He’s helped many local kids with college expenses. My brother sounded disappointed too. But I’m sure with the amount of COVID in their city she’s having to work a lot of overtime.

Bridge,
Sorry to hear about your brother canceling the visit. Feel bad for your dad and hope he visits him real soon. You are such a good daughter and so caring toward your dad. I am happy he has you in his life.

Oh Bridger, you should have made them come for the check. It really was the least she could do to show her appreciation for grandpa paying her school bill.

I hope that they have enough class to show up and show some gratitude for what he did.

My brother showed up about 15 minutes ago - said he wanted to help make apple butter (which he loves). I told him to start stirring my arms we’re getting tired. So he and my dad are out in the yard talking. I’ve heard Dad laugh a couple of times.

Bridge, I am so happy your brother showed up. How nice!!! I am so so happy for your dad. This made my day!! If I could hit the like button ten times I would.

"Bridger46164,"

I've still been thinking about your dad and praying for the family after your mom passed away and was so glad when he came to stay with all of you now because I can see it has helped him tremendously with the grieving process.

I have been reading everything that has transpired with your brother and his daughter (from the sidelines) and felt terrible and so sad at how the first visit went (after all the years he's been out of the picture) especially for your dad who's already hurting enough.

I'm so happy that your brother is there today spending time with your dad in the backyard and helping you make apple butter. That was a treat when I was growing up. Hearing your dad laugh must be music to your ears. You've been so good at how you've handled the whole situation - doing it all for your dad's sake!

In this moment, it seems like a family again. I know it will take a lot more than that but, it has to start somewhere.

I hope you all have a great day continuing to get reacquainted with one another!

What great news, Bridger!

Thanks everyone. I always second guess myself with regards to my brother and dad. I’m so happy my brother showed up.

He’s been a big help today. He and my dad seem to have gotten along great. And my brother is going to spend the night at our house. It’s the house we grew up in. My brother was amazed that his room had not been changed much since he left 52 years ago. Mom never wanted to get rid of his stuff. We’ve painted and replaced draperies. But his pictures and quilts our grandma made him are still there.

Funniest was he came downstairs with a pair of his jeans from high school on. They still fit. Wish I could still zip my jeans from high school up. Of course he hasn’t had two babies.

"Bridger46164,"

I'm really happy for all of you - maybe the Prodigal son has come home!
It brings tears to my eyes - but, this time good ones!

Bridger,

I don’t know your father but I admire him because of your lovely description of him.

Your father deserves to have his dreams fulfilled and I am certainly glad that he has had a positive reconnection.

Your niece sounds sweet. I’m sure that your dad will profoundly effect his granddaughter’s life.

Your father knows what is truly important in life. People who care about others are great leaders. Your father is an inspiration to others.

Your dad doesn’t have a big ego. He is passing the torch into capable hands. He obviously feels that his granddaughter is worth investing in. I’m sure that she is.

Your dad is a sweetheart! I think that your brother will start to appreciate him. Better late than never, right?

Extremely happy for all of you!

Oh, Bridger

I think it’s awesome that you support your father and his wishes and are welcoming to your estranged brother.

It’s wonderful to see a family without vengeance in their hearts from past hurt.

Can’t say that I am surprised that you are forgiving. Obviously you had a wonderful teacher, your dad.

Setting examples are the best way to teach. Your dad did that very well.

Take care..

It’s been an interesting day. My dad is so happy that my brother is here and going to stay a day or two. He told me earlier that he couldn’t believe how much pain he had caused our parents. I told him That dad and I were both forgiving people and just happy he was with us.

I told him I had no idea about mom. She never said much about him. I think she gave up years ago. She got frustrated with dad and I because we kept trying to get in touch with him.

Bridger,

You know what I think? Your mom’s prayers from heaven has caused the change of heart with your brother.

I truly believe she knows what is going on and is pleased. Your mom is in a place that is filled with love. She has no hard feelings about your brother.

Thanks Need. Mom did pray for him.

I ate catnip the other day in the semi dark of the kitchen thinking it was chia seeds. Dumped a spoonful in a glass of water, stirred and drank. Different texture all together as I discovered on the first swallow. So I turned on the light and saw my error. Oops!!! Had a headache the next day but no other ill effects, No beneficial effects either, I don't advise it.

Oh goodness Golden!

I'm relieved to hear you haven't suffered an overwhelming urge to run up trees or, er, "wash your bottom."

😂🤣😂

cm - even if I had the urge to butt groom, I couldn't reach it 😛 😉 😂

Another hurricane coming our way. Grrrrrrrr.

Golden, my goodness glad you are ok. Stress, stress and more stress. We all done some crazy thing. I put my cell phone in the freezer recently. I looked for it for hours and found it when I wanted something out of the freezer.

NeedHelpWithMom, how many hurricanes is this now, for this season alone?   

Is anyone considering changing the state name to Hurricane?   Seems quite appropriate, unfortunately.

I can't even  conceive how difficult it is to face so many disasters one right after another.

NeedHelp. Hope you and your family stay safe. I never realized your state got so many hurricanes.

My husband has been working in a COVID unit in Wisconsin. They are tested daily. Today my husband tested positive. He does not have symptoms. Supposed to fly home on Wednesday. But now he cannot fly. My sons left at 7:00pm to go drive him home. It’s an 8 - 9 hr drive each way. They took a supply of gloves and masks with them. They’re very cautious and so is their Dad. My dad has gone to Assisted Living to his apartment there. I don’t want him to risk exposure. My husband has no health problems, not obese, but he is almost 66. I’m worried.

Oy, Bridger, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this!

Thanks Barb. He made it thru His stint in NYC in the spring. But not Wisconsin. Not so lucky this time. I rarely tell him what to do, but I don’t want him to volunteer for this again. This is not the retirement we planned back in January.