My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Re the cat problem, I live in the country and I have 4 aged from 6 to 15, along with 2 middle aged dogs. All are spayed/neutered, have their shots and are kept indoors at night. House across the road, semi feral cats breeding and running all over, no shots - even their dogs have no shots or tags - and they leave food outside which brings the coyotes. Just like last year all their cats will have been killed by the coyotes by winter. Most humans suck.

Susan my mother fell all the time and eventually had a bad fall where she couldn't help me get her up, went to hospital and on to a NH. Unfortunately it's just a matter of time.

Ashlynne....yes they do....I know a lady who may mean well, and she rescues cats all the time, BUT she rescues cats who are relatively healthy and at least have a chance and would bring them home to a place that was so horrific for them it was abuse in and of itself...yes, not right by any means....if you have them take good and proper care of them.. and you're right...the leaving of food outdoors entices coyotes, as does having unaltered dogs roaming as coyotes will also breed with them...all just wrong..sorry...got off on a different tangent than caregiving, but my pets are my babies, and I could not abandon them when I had to leave everything and move home, so it has been that much harder trying to keep mine safe and care for Mama while everyone else just lets theirs run wild.... :( yep ...too many people suck....

Mine grrr! Yesterday I had a caregiver come in for what was supposed to be 3 hours to stay with stepdad while I was at Teepa Snow. He is one stubborn old coot and doesn't think he needs help. Can't open a bottle of Ensure himself and very unstable on his feet and developing some memory problems, obviously. So the caregiver was going to do some dusting and vacuuming for me. I was so looking forward to coming home with these tasks done so I didn't have to do it. Well the old coot sent her away after 1.5 hours. Mind you that we have to pay for three. Didn't notice dusting and vacuuming wasn't done until tonight when the sun hit just right. I had explained to him that caregiver was going to do those things for me so I wouldn't have to. Just so disappointing! So tomorrow will be dusting and vacuuming.

Oh sorry Glad..

But how was Teepa Snow? Do tell please!

A&A, I have posted some of Teepa's ideas and tricks on the dysfunctional thread. It was a great presentation! I M going to try to posteach day, that way I won't wear out my dusting and vacuuming fingers.

I have to go to my moms today take her to her doctor apt. just can't take the whinning or abuse fron her. Try to be postive with her but she won't have it. she always been abusive person but i didn't have to go around her. but I'm the only person that will help. none of grandkids even go see her due to the abusive behaivor. she totally alone unless my uncle or i go there. but it takes everything i have to do it. I'm disable myself, and have mental panic attacts. so this is very hard. that's my whin for this am

Good luck Ladyryder. My sister's saying for times like this is "nothing is ever as bad as you think it's going to be" - but that might just tell you how incredibly pessimistic my sister is, of course! Try looking at your mother as though she's somebody else's mother, maybe? I find that helps me be less frustrated with mine, and more polite to her too.

My whine for the day - my parents' PO box at the post office. Even since my parents stopped driving 5 years ago, my significant other and I [we are both senior citizens ourselves] been running to the post office to get my parents mail. At first we went daily, sometimes twice a day whenever my parents had their prescriptions sent to the PO Box.... now we whittled mail pickup down to once a week.

My parents having a PO Box is unnecessary since they can get home delivery right outside their front door. For the past 3 years we have been hinting to my parents to cancel the darn box. Couple weeks ago they renewed it for another year.... [sigh]

Before work today, I picked up my parents mail after stretching it out to 10 days.... I mentioned to Dad that I could see him and Mom having a PO Box back when they were driving, but to continue to have one when they need to depend on others to get their mail isn't reasonable.

You'd think my parents were in the witness protection group the way they act by wanting their mail to go to the PO box only !!!

Freqflyer - old habits die hard sometimes....hopefully your parents will see the wisdom (and savings and convenience!) of having their mail come right to their door soon.

I hope everyone else is doing well today. Mom has had a reasonably good day today, so I don't have much to whine about. Her shower day was yesterday, but she didn't feel up to it, but willingly showered today, so I count that as a win. Her back has been bothering her quite a bit, so she takes a pain pill and then sleeps for a while, but laying in bed makes her back hurt more due to her weight...so it's kind of a vicious cycle.

I agree, old habits do die hard with the elderly. My parent's where still paying for AOL last year. They'd stopped charging for service a LONG time ago. Sigh...

Glad you had a good day Susan... it always helps! I decided to take the entire day off (cept for food) after Moms giant temper tantrum at our friends house last night.... it sucked me dry. Apparently is sucked her dry also since she's not said a word to me today. Oh well....

My whine today. I get an e-mail from my older sister whom I haven't seen or verbally talked to for 3 years telling me my alcoholic brother is in the hospital with a stomach infection brought on by drinking vodka every day. Don't see him much either. I get the occasional text asking how mom is. I call him and find out he's getting out today. He's hinting about possibly losing his job. He's in his second divorce and renting some cheap apartment. Mom lives next to me and doesn't want him living there. I don't want him living there either. I have a hard enough time taking care if mom. His health is getting worse and I don't want to care for him too. He has done nothing to help me with my mom in three years. He's 55 yrs old and failing quick. He tried rehab twice, but it hasn't worked. He lies and can't be trusted. If he asks me if he can come here or with mom I don't know how to say no. Any suggestions?

Tell him exactly what you just told us and end it with a big NO. You may not want hin living there but for goodness sake don't bale him out and start enabling him.

My whine today is that tomorrow is Friday 13th and a full moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband has been ranting and raving for the last few days mainly about politics anf for the last couple about our PCP who dared to write an incorrect prescription (on purpose) and needs to be reprimanded by her boss whoever that is and if she continues to do it wrong to the Sate board. It has been so bad i was prompted to look up the next full moon and low and behold I found it is tomorrow. I don't know if others believe that full moons influence the behaviour of certain people. Well i do and have found they are worse in the few days before rather than on the actual date.

Sallie NO, NO, NO, NO, to your brother. He's not your or Mom's responsibility. Not even overnight!

My wine today is i was at moms yesterday do u need meds or anything while were out. nope. now she don't know if she can get her meds today. knowi.g i have to go with my husband for his colon op. anytime. i have my own stuff with my family to do she make u feel guilty.

Sallie – don’t even give him a few days to get his act together. In the end, because he now has a rent-free home, he will have no incentive to do any improvement in his life. To support his drinking, he will start taking things from the house and pawning it. Then, you will end up not taking care of only 1 person, but 2. The thing is – how determined is your mother? Can she still say NO to his face? Stressful times ahead.

Veronica, I watch the real life ER show. It never fails, they always mention that when it’s the Full moon, weird things happen to people that lands them in the ER. And they have seen an increase of visits – on the full moon. So, I may not really believe it, but I can accept that it may affect some people.

My whine for the day – is my usual whine in my head – why can’t sis cook rice so that when I come home from work, I just have to worry about finding meat? No rice, means no meat. Which means microwavable dinner. =( Yet, when I cook breakfasts on Sundays, I ALWAYS cook an extra portion for sis. sigh…

Sallie, practise saying "Absolutely not." Literally practise that until it becomes naturally the first thing that comes out when you open your mouth to talk to him. Get your "NO" in first, then you explain as far as you feel the need to. If you start with explanations and reasons, you'll leave gaps he can work on to make you change your mind. So: "NO" comes first.

You don't owe your brother any explanations, you know, by the way. He has to find an alternative to leaning on you; then you can see how you feel about offering some cautious support in the future. NOT NOW. And don't you dare feel bad about it!

Book, put a post-it note on the rice container that says "Make some for me! :)" Then maybe she'll smile back and remember? x

Countrymouse, I have to say NO because my husband would kill me. My brother stayed with my mom fir 3 weeks about a year ago fir work and she found vodka bottles under his bed when he left. He would come over here to use our pool and always had a water bottle. I found out later it was vodka. I wondered why he didn't except a drink!

Sort about the " fir " instead if " for " fat fingers hitting the wrong keys. Lol

My whine moment.... I'm too tired to whine or have wine.

xoxo

todAy pretty good so far. mentioned about dad peeing in cup in bedroom because door was " locked". Should have probed more as he really meant bathroom locked as hubby was getting ready for work. Dad doesn't seem to have a problem using another bathroom during middle of night but not when hubby getting ready for work.meant

Sallie thats tough but how much crap can you take if he even moves to the same neighbourhood id move!

Oh...my....gosh.....

Mom just walked out of the bathroom (after sitting in there for about 45 minutes) in nothing but her shirt and her underwear. Not sure where the heck her pants went. I'm on the phone with my son right now, but I guess I have to go pants-hunting when I get done...she was joking about it when she came out, so not sure what the heck is going on. Very worried I'm going to go in there and find the pants full of something I *don't* want to clean up....

this is a new one....

Sue.... do you put candles in the bathroom? I would but ma might use the candle for something e lse.

Since you mentioned sitting.... mom can poot gas for a really long time. Seriously... I listen at night and the poot part is sooooooo long. We eat the same food and no i do not do it .

I don't put anything with open flames anywhere where I can't see it at all times, and I usually use a candle warmer instead, just to avoid the whole open flame thing altogether. But the odor isn't the problem (well, it *is*, but not this time).

Mom's recent bathroom-sitting fetish started about 2 or 3 weeks ago - she just goes in there and sits - and I know all she's doing most of the time is urinating, because she sits there so long that she forgets to flush....and wipe....so I know what she did in the toilet didn't take 20-30 minutes.

I honestly am concerned that her memory is getting bad enough that when she goes in there, she just kind of loses track of time and just sits there. Then she forgets that she's used the toilet and needs to wipe/flush, change her incontinence pad, etc. This time, though....that was something new. She said she just didn't feel like undressing and putting her nightgown on, nor did she feel like pulling up her pants. So she just took them off, and came out here in her shirt and underwear alone. (Sitting here shaking my head.) I did go pants-hunting and she had taken her underwear and pants off and put a new pair of underwear on. But her pants and underwear were not soiled, and she had picked them up and put them in the dirty clothes hamper. But she couldn't put them back on? (Another head shake.) I think there's more at play here than just "I didn't want to put them back on". I don't know - maybe I'm reading too much into it. It's just so unlike her to come out into the common area of the house in just her underwear. She's never done that before.

Jeanette when you get to Mom's age you will do really long poooofs too. Like many other things it come with age.
Sue can't guess at Mom's new behaviours. Hope she does not run around the hotel like that on your trip or worse at a rest stop

A new wrinkle here.. This afternoon I spent a couple of hours on my small red Honda tractor pulling our lawn sweeper, picking up the grass from yesterday which was abundant since it was hard to find time to mow between rains and it had gotten too long.. anyhow .. After that I re-mowed the lawn since it looked shaggy, etc.

While doing these chores our Black Lab, Marley, ran circles around the tractor, just having a great time. She carries a ball in her mouth, hoping I will stop and throw it for her, which I do whenever I need to get off the machine for any reason. When it was time for her supper, I went in and fixed her dish of food and went out again. Shortly, she was joyfully running alongside again.

After finishing with the lawn I went in to watch a program on TV and was soon interrupted by my husband, who is 90 and suffering from vascular dementia. He wanted to know if I knew those two ladies who worked on the lawn this afternoon and if I did would I please call them and thank them for allowing his dog to cavort about - since she really enjoyed it..

He was soo serious... and Marley often had her fun while I mowed, etc.. Sometimes it is so hard to understand. He can go along for days without an outrageous comment and then he comes up with one when I had almost forgotten that he has a problem..

I guess that was not really a whine - but here's one.. I am so tired of waiting behind him to get where I want to go. He and that walker take up so much space and he is always walking, slowly, - right where I need to go.. I was born in a hurry and not blessed with much patience... And there is so much to do. and the days are so short and the nights are so long... There! that's a couple more whines, right?

My whine is why does she have to throw temper tantrums?! She has to have her way. It ruined the whole day!

My whine today is that I've been sick for a long time with Epstein Barr Virus. Sometimes I am so tired, I can hardly move. Today taking a nap, and Mom called and started going on and on about some papers, and did I put them there, etc., etc. I almost lost it on her (note to self--pray harder for patience), and said I don't feel good and I can't deal with this now. I'll see you this weekend and look at it then. I won't write what I wanted to say to her, cause it'd probably shock some of you, but today, feeling sick again, I just can't cope with her self centered crap.