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people suck . my mothers body hadnt even left the house yet when i asked my youngest sis if there was anything shed like to have from the home . ( i was vacating asap ) . she said she could groove on the new recliner that she was currently sitting in . my oldest sis , who was getting the house cause no one else wanted it , told her , " hell no , you cant have my chair " . so sad . i was talking to my mom who was placed in an induced coma and her oldest daughter was taking inventory .
if you look up " loser " online , wiki has a picture of my oldest sister ..
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I hear that...........
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Tacy I feel for you.. It drives me crazy too.. We are going through this with the FIL.. says he wants to leave his $ for the boys... but meanwhile he is destroying ones son's mariage and making sure the 2 boys will be at huge odds when he passes. They saved for this time,, just spend the dang money!
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Gershun and CWillie, thanks for the helpful comments. I appreciate them very much.
Katie, a hospice minister told me that well intentioned people can say stupid things. Hopefully, coming here can help.
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my moms wishes were fulfilled whether verbal or by the legal will . she wanted me to stay warm with the dead trees that needed to be harvested from the place . after mom passed i mentioned this to oldest sis . the dolt gave me the old smirk / gloat . lol .
those trees are gonna smash her house and who do you think shes gonna call ?
not me , i dont answer my phone ..
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good .
someone else said it . i can now replace taint quips with c*nt quips until my next brain fart comes along .
btw ,
australians and brits use that term much more than americans do . to agree with jim jeffries , " thats unfortunate " .
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Grief has its own time line that no can judge. Family dynamics can play a big part on how one grieves and how long it can last. The circumstances of the loss is also primary.

I can certainly understand the analagy of comparing 911 to missing a loved one to Alzheimer's. Many still see this disease as a normal course of old age. Cancer is a horrible disease as well, the pain not only for the patient, but the loved ones left behind is so just tragic.
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Today my brother would have been 59 years old, I just can't imagine what he would have been like at that age. I guess that means I ain't no spring chicken anymore either!
I can hardly believe he has been gone 16 years already.
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my cousin ate a bullet at the age of 34 . i was so pissed off . i could see the future and i could see us at 60 , drinkin and lying like b*st*rds .
its still sad .
one time he was raving about a sk*nk on tv and i told him i wouldnt bone her with his d*ck . he assured me that he WOULD , with MINE ..
cuz was a freakin bipolar riot .
hard to follow but worth the effort ..
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Uh.........okay. Think twice before you eat a bullet. I had a good friend who was an alcoholic. I accompanied him to an AA meeting one evening. We were sitting there and he noticed a friend of his in the row in front of us. He tapped his friend on the shoulder. When his friend turned around, half of his face was missing cause he had tried to eat a bullet and things didn't turn out the way he had planned.

I've been so down that I thought of suicide but that story always stuck in my head.
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What a beautifully wasted day.
I waited hours today for someone to show me around a house that I am to clean for a few days. This was suppose to take place on Saturday but didn't.
Then I went to pick up my medicine I called in at 9:30am. It was to be ready by 3pm and when I arrived at 3:30pm still wasn't ready. The cashier gave me one of those 'just a minute' signs with her finger (no, not that one). I waited a half hour for that prescription. Then I got home and checked to make sure it was the right medicine and they used that d*mn cap you have to struggle with to open the darn thing. I called the place and told them NOT to use the child proof safety caps on my prescriptions as I don't care to struggle with the cap everyday.
It was a sunny 77° today which I did not have a chance to enjoy.
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77 degrees , i would do that -- with my cousins d*ck . lol
it was bone chilling and deceptive here today .
i wussed out at noon and ran home like a little girl ( or boy ) . im a lot of messed up s*it , but not sexist ..
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Captain, you are so bad!
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Oh, can I ever identify with the money- and stuff-grubbing relatives. My ex's Mom lived with us for several years (before he left for 'greener pastures' and forced her to move in with her own kids, which was like hell on earth). She always said I treated her better than her own daughters did - found out later that was absolute truth. Very sad. She knew what would happen when she died - there would be a fight over the meager possessions she had. So she went around the house, taping paper notes to the back or underside of every single thing she owned - notes containing the name of the person that was to get that item upon her passing. *That's* how bad that family was. Her religious pictures and figurines. Her jewelry box (which contained only cheap dollar store jewelry, she could never afford more). Her cookie jar (which *I* bought her, but ended up in her daughter's hands). Everything. I was there for her husband's funeral and saw what happened - the kids fought like cats & dogs, threatening to shoot each other, swearing they'd never speak to each other again - and that was in the funeral home, while arrangements were being made - while their mother sat there, sobbing, begging them to stop. I wasn't there when she passed away - but I can only imagine what *that* was like.

I'm already dealing with issues within my own family that I thought we'd *never* have to deal with - everyone but ONE person is ok with the way things are set up. That one wants to fuss over the fact that I *might* be entitled to anything because I was the one that dropped everything and moved in to take care of Mom. Go figure. It's not like there's a huge estate to inherit. All I'll get is a house that requires major repairs, which I'm already footing the bill for; receipts for bills I've paid on Mom's behalf (including her private room at the NH, which comes out of my pocket every single month); and a bill for funeral expenses, which I'll also have to pay, because I'm sure none of them will be in a position to help at that point either, just like they aren't now. Not like I'm rolling in dough here - but someone needed to make Mom a priority for once.
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i am so stoked about little awesomeface metalsplosion ( who hasnt been born yet ) . ive raised boys and it was great but a little girl gets my heart . i want to teach an outrageous sense of humor and ironclad self respect . a great combination .
if i dont see my fla g kids this year my oldest son is going to be found in lake michigan with 80 lb concrete boots . ill write the concrete off on my taxes while denying any knowlege of it at the same time ..
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mmm - bloop ..
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Captain, sounds like you need to get your butt down to Florida! Its probably easier for you to go see them! Grandies are the best! Multiple states couldn't keep me away from the little buggers! I hope you do get a little girl Grandie this time around, I'm hoping the next one we get is a girl too! But boys are pretty Awesome! You behave yourself on here now!
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the g kids ' mother is such a phsyco that she will destroy your visit even if she has to involve the police . the kids see thru it . theyre supposed to be getting her shoe size for me .
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mmm - bloop ..
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Need to whine a bit here. I put down the lining of my new garden area this afternoon. I wondered how long it would be before Mom said it wasn't right and wouldn't work. It was immediate. She couldn't really see it with her bad vision, but started talking about how I needed to change it to make it work. Huh? I told her not to worry, that it was my project. She said no, it was her project. So the garden plot work goes on hold again. None of this surprises me, but I do wonder why she has such a need to fight at me, even when she doesn't know what she is fighting about. Maybe she is afraid that if she lets me do anything that I'll get too big for my britches. I would go ahead and do it, but know she would destroy it out of spite. I don't want to go through that.
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I've talked to both of my brothers now about how bad it has been. They know that I am going through a lot of abuse and barely hanging on. It may just be the disease on top of a difficult personality, but it still ruins the caregiver's life. We'll have to see how it works out.
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Jessie sorry you are experiencing this. I've never been where you are so probably don't have any stellar advice for you but you will be in my prayers. (((hugs)))
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Jessie, that just sucks. Your mom would destroy your garden plot? That would make me so angry, and so sad.
"Mom, I've given up so much for you; can you let me have a little bit of "me" space here?" Would she be able to hear that?
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Jessie, narcissists are never happy unless it is their idea/design/property. Your mother doesn't want you to have your own (fill in blank). You can't reason with her. I do understand, like I said it's now a game to see if I can get FIL to say things I believe by saying I agree with him. Sky is green, oh it's blue? Huh. Thanks for enlightening me;)))))
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Jessie, I am sorry you are hurting so.We have all these good intentions and then it comes at us out of the blue. {{Hugs}}, Katie.
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Hang in there, Jessie. We're all here for you if you need to vent. ((hugs))

Mom has had a horrible neighbor in the next room at the NH for the past couple of months - a man with a mouth that would probably make Cap blush with shame, and an abusive nature to match. He swears a blue streak at anyone who passes by his room, cusses out the staff every time they step foot in his room, and God forbid if one of the staff accidentally addresses him with an endearment like "sweetie" or "hon" ('hun' is more like it - as in Attila the...). He is former military and insisted they call him "sir" - then the next day when someone called him "sir", he yelled at them about that and told them not to call him that. This morning, he b*tched staff out because they asked if he wanted brown sugar on his oatmeal. Then because they asked if he wanted jelly on his toast. Then he intentionally knocked over his juice and milk and said, "There! Now clean that sh*t up!" to the staff person in the room. He complained that "Brad", the male CNA that works at night, wasn't there - and when told it wasn't his shift, he declared that he didn't care what shift he works, that he wants him there when he needs him.

He's going home in 3 days. All the staff are counting the days, and I'm sure Mom and all his other neighbors are too. Sure feel sorry for his wife, though. She'll probably end up in the NH just to get away from him. Kind of makes you appreciate the really nice ones you deal with!
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Thanks, Susan. Your Mom's next-door neighbor makes me feel a bit blessed. It could be worse. Can you imagine having to take care of that man? It's really tricky taking care of an abusive person, because you can't be around them for too long. It's a bit like long-distance caregiving from the next room. Your mother's neighbor sounds like he needs a elder psych ward. Poor family!
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I saw a plaque today that said something like 'Money keeps the kids near'.

Thought to myself, when the money is gone...so are the kids. That is what happened in my family. Sad really since my mother was a smart woman and knew why her kids didn't come to see her or call her, barely kept in touch at all. She acknowledged her kids are busy with their own lives and she told her psychiatrist that she understood and accepted the lack of time her kids have for her. Her psychiatrist commented she was more adjusted than most people in that type of situation and I should take a page out of her book. Things happened a few years before my Mom passed which made several of her kids start calling her (d**n it!) more often. It was my mother's turn to be busy with her life and she gave her kids the cold shoulder which they didn't like and blamed me. Most of the time she didn't want to talk to them and let the phone ring, not calling them back. I guess you could say in her later years she treated them the way they treated her earlier in life. I don't believe any of her children saw the correlation. It was difficult for me to watch and listen to my mother say things such as 'I don't really know them' or 'I don't know what to say to them'. These people were her kids and grandkids yet she didn't know them enough to want to speak to them. My mother could start a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime and most times did. To this day, I don't understand why her kids, my siblings, didn't stay in touch with her. I know it was the MONEY!!! Do you think they know that? Nope, they blame me. I have only spoken to one of my siblings in the past couple years, including at the funeral nine months ago.
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My 14 year old niece was "hilltopping"and ran into a tree,The 2 fourteen year old girls were killed instantly and I lost her...20 years ago.It still hurts and I still wonder why,why,why.My Dad laid down for a nap and his heart blew up and I never got to say goodbye,23 years ago and that still kills me and now the loss of Mom after fighting so hard for life after 10 years is gone too and I don't know how I'll ever go on without her.I grieve everyday for these 3 loved ones and I know there'sno time limit on grief.People have said the rudest and crudest things to me too Katie and they may as well have taken a knife and stuck it in my heart and twisted it.......And I too,thought things would be different after Mom died and I would do this and that but some days it's just hard to function at all.To have both parents gone,the rest of your days,the only people that really ever truly loved you is a rough adjustment to make and I think,the greater the love,the greater the loss.And I think we are very vulnerable after loosing our loved one and we have to be careful.
I don't know about the rest of you but I'm already really dreading Mother's Day and the stores have all the cards and candies,etc. out and it hurts so bad to walk past it...like the first Father's Day with no Dad...I want to think up something special to do and take to the grave.Any ideas?
There's my big vent/whine....To all,take care.....
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Sweet lady, for the first 5 years we lived in GA there was a death a year. I kept waiting for it to get easier. It didn't. Hugging you in my heart and praying for us all.
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