I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I think this is a better approach than a divorce which will not leave you in a good financial situation.
wishing you all the best.
You will never get a moment of judgment from me about not wanting to be a caregiver at home. I wiped a$$ and dealt with the equipment, the dementia, the complaining, the confabulating, the asinine stubbornness, and the nonsense for 25 years as a homecare CNA (I was an APCNA which is equal to an LPN or LVN) before opening a homecare business. I'm still dealing with a lot of the asinine stubborness and nonsense from clients. So I get it.
Here's the thing though. Both of us chose the work we went into. No one forced you to go into nursing and no one forced me to stay in the homecare field. I made excellent money in the private-care industry and you made even better money as a nurse.
If your husband's care is too much for you, that's okay. You don't have to light yourself on fire to keep him warm as that wise saying around here goes. He can be put into care. Yes, you will have hard feelings about it, as everyone does and there will be people who will try to guilt-trip you over it. You have to do what's best for not just your husband, but yourself. If people don't understand, screw them.
When I go to see him alone, I don’t get the same response. He will wake up to eat and then goes back to sleep and all he wants to know is where my husband is. And it is not for lack of trying on my end.
Stupid stuff, I know. But I know now he is still there and he really doesn’t care if I am visiting if I’m there without my DH.
Just a stupid trivial whine. My father is lucky that he has a son-in-law who visits. His other two do not.
When you think about it, it is the mom and daughter who have a lifetime of giving one another advice and trying to protect (manage) one another's lives. While the son-in-law is just gently "there" as a friend, with no advice and no management.
Take advantage of this.
Send hubby to visit once in a while and put your feet up, eat bon bons and watch bad TV.
Your note kind of tickled me, much I know it might be annoying.
The caregiver is often the least liked person in the house!
Way - yup we are Ok, thankfully.
Llama -thanks for the hugs and prayers.
Frogster -I'm sorry That is so hard!!!
Bingo - how are you doing? I hope that talk worked. You need to protect your health.
Hothouse - not nice at all. Your hub is kind to visit.
Alva - good idea for Hothouse's hub to make a few visits on his own.
Finally the insurance company has gotten things straight - I think!!! The car damaged by the moose still sits in its parking space here. R doesn't want me to drive it as the power steering is partly gone since the accident. Today I got a phone call from a manager (I had complained) saying the garage of our choice had been authorized by her to proceed, which is great, but I haven't anything in writing. They authorized the wrong garage to begin with. Hopefully we are on track now and I can get a courtesy car and get my own repaired before the snow .comes to stay.
Other than that the trip was great and I want another holiday soon!!! Folks, they really are good for you!
….that said, my whine for today is how annoying it is to hear that bacon isn’t crispy enough, the gravy is too salty, and turkey should not be seasoned with garlic. 🤪
It ruined my and my sister’s Thanksgivings. I think the only reason my father is sticking around is to make my life miserable. This is torturous.
I wish I could turn back the clock and did not sell our parents’ house. There were good reasons that we did last year but this I can’t handle.
I wish it were over.
oaktree - that's very frustrating. I think all yiu can do is cut back on the time you are available and let the others deal with the difference. As long as you take thr most part of the burden, they will take advantage of you. Set some limits - say that from next week you are only available for on certain days from this time to that time. Make it to suit you. You are being used and only you can stop that.
Hothouse - I am so sorry. Prayers that the reapplication go through with no more problems. ((((hugs))))
The holidays!!!! I resent making all the arrangements.-Arranging to meet his kids and grandkids, choosing, purchasing, wrapping gifts, repeating a million times to him where we are going, what time we are leaving, etc, etc. and etc. Then making sure he is presentable( he forgets his partials or to shave) only to have him pull the whole thing off so well his family thinks he is not so bad. (Showtimers)
Of course I want this - I want to preserve his dignity and make a good family memory, but, arghh!
I have made one adjustment this year.
I am allowing myself to not decorate for Christmas…only some minimal things and not entertain anyone. No baking either. Still there is some guilt there… is it my responsibility to make his holiday festive??? He doesn’t care and I don’t seem to either.
I know the members here understand.
JDWZP1 - if he doesn't care and neither do you, then do what you want to do -don't do what you don't want to do. Nothi g to feel guilty about. You are not doing anything wrong. Over time I have given up most of the holiday chores -decorating, baking and so on. If I do a little it's because I want to, nor because I feel I have to. Iyt makes this season a lot less stressful.