I find myself depressed and angry at the world due to caregiving.

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I'm very new to caregiving - in my previous post I mentioned that my dad lives in another country and I had to spend time with him getting everything "in order" since I can't live in his country permanently and he cannot come back to the United States for a host of reasons. I have a therapist appointment set up for next week but I just find myself irrationally annoyed at others at home and at work. People complaining about things that make me just want to say "Really? Those are your problems? Give me a break." I'm hoping this is just a phase and it passes but I'm just so exhausted, stressed and angry about everything and how I know my life will never be the same from this point on. Did anybody feel like this at times? People are allowed to have their problems - I know I'm just being a crank and I always keep it to myself, I just want to get the hell over it.


I don't know about others, but I tend to get the most angry when I'm feeling anxious. There are days that I'm on edge that I resent everyone on the road that is getting in my way. I want to beat them up in my mind, though they aren't doing a thing wrong except breathing. It's really about how I'm feeling inside and not about them. Maybe it's the same with you and some deep breathing and relaxation will help. I like to look at things in a Buddhist-like way when I'm feeling stressed.
Yes - it's definitely me and not them. I know that for sure. I just don't normally have such a sour attitude towards others but it's just different for me now.
My coworkers are obsessed with special diets. Makes me furious when they start the paleo, gluten, carb monologues. I want yell, "my mother had a stroke and cannot swallow. Just... eat sensibly, and don't waste your health and youth worrying about stupid crap."

I think when our situations get too stressful, we become grouchy and intolerant. I have headphones so I can put on my favorite music to tune them out.
Oh heck yea. To a T. The first time it happened I was shocked. A person asked for a cup of water when I just sat down for a break and it pissed me off. Completely irrational unexpected and bizarre. I felt like I had a split personality. Me, watching this person who was me being off, way off, hypersensitive. Later I read the brain changes how it copes with the constant state of being "on call" in non stop crisis mode. Everyone has different methods of working through it. I am still finding my way myself.
A big help is to know you are not alone. There is this forum and there will be a ton of unexpected moments of kindness and understanding from strangers and people you'll be interacting with. Venting can help as a way of acknowledging how you feel. A word of caution on venting, use it, don't let it use you. For me what has helped is an extra dose of niacin b6, reading about brain chemistry changes, taking deep breaths, reminding myself over and over not to get in to martyrdom mode and to remember it's about my dad, not me, that I am here for him as he was there for me.
The worst was when I had a serious day from hell and it wouldn't stop. I went outside and calmly selected bottles meant for recycling. Threw about twenty of them one after another, blue language that would make a sailor blush spewing forth. Loudly.
I finally calmed down and promptly stepped on broken glass.
Nothing quite like blood and pain to put me back into the frame of take care of this now and knock off feeling sorry for yourself.
Though I wouldn't advocate or recommend doing the above. Just trying to say there will be times you'll lose it and in the long of it it's okay. It will be okay.
Hang in there and remember you are not alone. And you are not going crazy!one moment at a time is okay.
VSM, I think it's the other way round. I am humbled and awed by caregivers who DON'T develop a jaundiced outlook on their fellow man, at least temporarily, during the most stressful phases.

You are under a dizzying amount of stress. Don't feel there's something wrong with you if petty irritations annoy you more than usual - you just haven't the time or patience for them right now. It'll get better once things are more under control again.

And try not to say anything you can't take back!

And try not to explode from not saying it :)
vsmini, I use to be a very patient person, but after trying to help my two parents [mid-to-late 90's] who refused outside help, while I tried to keep up with the demands of my career, if I were a cat I would be hissing at anybody.

Now, if only my primary doctor can find a calming med that doesn't give me unwanted side effects. The most recent one calmed my nerves but it keeps me awake all night :P Being a zombie isn't good. Onto plan c, d, e, and f.

I found a talk therapist and had my first session with her last week. I feel lucky I found someone who is my age [70] and been there done that with her own elderly parents... YES, someone who understands.
I am having a hard day today; thank you all for your posts - they helped me! I have been my mom's caregiver 11 years in our home & she is nearly 94. The biggest problem is: As the years wear on -- no one "signs up" to help -- it just becomes an established situation.
i do feel that way recently. i feel like others problems aren't really porblems compared to mine.. I do feel guilty at times that i am reacting in my thoughts in that manner..i want to be compassinate to others but the fitague and all there is to do for my husband at this time is very overwhelming..
hang in there and be kind to yourself, it is life being re-arranged without any opinion from you, its understandable you have the feelings you do.

short answer = YES

long answer - when my Mom entered hospice and there was no one else to cover duties at the hospital until I could get back there myself, I definitely felt no one else in the world was carrying a greater more impossible burden, and if anyone had complained about my being late to clinic I might have snapped at them like a snapping turtle.


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