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She has to be restrained at night, she is constantly talking.

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How is she restrained?
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With hospital restraints, she sleeps in hospital bed. We have a monitor in her room. She is unable to walk on her own because of a stroke. So by doctors recommendation she is restrained by her arms. So that she will not get out of bed and fall
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It is against the law to restrain. And certainly not both arms. Must have room to move her hand and arm some. Also why is she not having physical therapy to help her to get stronger from stroke. Also occupational & speech therapy. She could be in rehab and have therapy.
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I beleive a patient must be cooperative and progressing to receive therapy.
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Are there geriatric psychiatrists in your location? Or doctors who understand that there are meds that can help dementia patients be less agitated?

Any doctor who recommended physical restraints is probably not well trained enough to be giving you reliable advice about your mom.
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Again no profile..
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When my friend became un-cooperative in her memory care apartment and she wouldn't let them clean her up when she soiled herself, I took her to a geriatric ward in a hospital so they could find a drug or drug combination that would calm her down but not dope her up. They were able to find a good combination, but it took 3 1/2 weeks. Insurance covered the full cost of that. After that, the AL facility had no further problems seeing to her care. It was the skilled geriatric care that provided the answers, but she was declining fast and when her brain would no longer allow her to swallow food, she died soon after. She was in the final stages of fronto-temporal dementia and there was no stopping or delaying the inevitable.
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We have to keep my mother out of the kitchen because a cup of acalding hot coffee exploded and missed her face by inches. She left something on the stove and smoked up the entire house. One of the nurses suggested it was abuse, but I disagree. She is restrained for her and our safety
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why is she restrained if she is in hospital?he bed.
she should be in a cot bed if they afraid of her falling of the bed.
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There are options besides restraining. I am schooled that a doctor would recommend restraining. Have you tried any medications to calm her? I think johnnyj had some great advice for you. When my mom was first diagnosed we lightly tied an extra long shoe lace to her arm and my dads while they were sleeping. Dad was hard of hearing and without hearing aids in heard nothing. When he felt his arm being tugged, he knew mom was getting up to go to the bathroom and he could then get up and help her. A bed alarm was useless for us cause dad could not hear it. I felt terrible tying them together but that was our only option at the time. I can't even imagine how confused your mom must feel and think being restrained on top of that confusion would just make it worse. Please seek new medical advice, the doctor you presently have may not have enough experience treating dementia. Your mom needs to feel safe and lived, not tied to a bed.
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You must enter into your mom's world. She is in a crowd, knows no one know she should be going some place but doesn't know how to ask or talk & surroundings she doesn't know. It's like panic but restrained on top of it all. Security is needed at all times. They need to feel someone is with them to be their rescue. Keep this in your mind. They will never enter our world & can't but we must do our best to know their world so read, read & read. Go to support groups where they have been where you are. Try diff grps. Read Understanding the Dementia Experience. Online. Bk 36 hr Day. Call Alz Assoc for support grps & what Alz has to offer in ways to help you. God bless you.
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After retreading my post i sounded judgmental and I sincerely apologize for that. Please get your mom the help she deserves that doesn't inclue restraints.
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Although I don't like restraints....it's certainly NOT against the law as one poster claimed.
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My dad is the same as rosebush parents. Dad can't hear and mom demethia we found out putting her on the same side of the bed that she has slept on all there married life worked she now stays in bed we want her close to the bathroom but she was getting up all the time and wondering around at night. Now she says in bed
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yes, easy for all those to say you should not restrain her...for her own good! maybe they should be dealing with loved ones like this! anyway...why not lower her bed!!! you could keep the mattress as low to the floor as possible...that way you don't have to restrain her...she mite roll over....but just have soft cushion pads around the bed. my mother use to walk around the house all night and check doors! omg...the torture of not being able to sleep. that was going on for about two years...finally she had some type of seizure and was never able to walk on her own again. get her on meds...until she hits the next stage. goooooood luck...
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Have her checked for a Urinary Tract infection. This is the most likely reason for this behavior. My mother would go out of her mind when she would have a urinary tract infection. Also, if she retained too much fluid (with afib) whe would go nuts as well. They had to restrain her and put her on Adivan until the infection got under control. It may seem overly simple, but Mother was sane, even though she had lost some of her brain power due to stroke. She did not become violent unless she had a UTI. Please don't ignore this.
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Oh, and BTW even the neurologist missed that the UTI was the cause and diagnosed her with Alzheimers, although she was 103 and did not have a history of Alzheimers. He did not test for anything. Her cardiologist said she had dementia. Her PCP said the same. She was tested when I took her to the hospital and they found it. I got her in with a good urologist and she treated her with antibiotic bladder wash for the final year of her life.
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Sherry, excellent advice!
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What do you expect with dementia is decline. If in the later stages the person is unsafe to live in a home setting, they must be placed into a proper facility designed just for those patients
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Christy isn't my mom. She is my wife of 45 years. My best buddy. We were the couple everyone wanted to be. She has been in late stage FTD since 2011. We are blessed that she is physically healthy and very strong. But she is resistive and combative to every assistance. Toileting requires 2 of us. Cleaning her is like wresting with a wildcat. We have the procedure down to a science.
What mlface said, describes Christy.

"She is in a crowd, knows no one know she should be going some place but doesn't know how to ask or talk & surroundings she doesn't know. It's like panic but restrained on top of it all. Security is needed at all times. They need to feel someone is with them to be their rescue. Keep this in your mind. They will never enter our world & can't but we must do our best to know their world"

It has taken us 5 years to fully realize that Christy can't learn, but we can.
We do not even restrain her as we assist her in sitting, standing, bathing, and directing away from dangers. She doesn't know me and I have to avoid any touch when sleeping. Flailing arms in a restless night would cause either one of us to invade the other's space. Christy has little cognition, but suddenly started sleeping in the opposite direction from me. As we have to set her in bed, she would force us to direct her the other way. All those years of sleeping together, I wonder why I never thought of that. It allows for a comfortable cuddle. In her sleep, she will often lay her head on my thigh and I treasure those moments.
When she is awake, I do not dare touch her, but when I happen to get out of bed before she does, I check on her and often find her patting my side of the bed, looking for me. I immediately let her know that I am at least in the room and she is satisfied, but she still doesn't like me.
No restraints. They tried to admit her to a top geriatric/psyche unit for a 14 day eval in 2014. She would not let them get her vitals, upset the crash cart and went after the staff. She is not a maniac, wildly out of control. She is deliberate in her moves. They could not admit her without both chemical and physical restraints which are against the law unless only applied for her safety, not their convenience.
She will get up and wander in the night, but the house is arranged for her safety.
As yet, her movement wakes me. I am also on guard as she stops breathing often and I have to jostle or re-position her. Our Cpaps burned in a house fire 6 months ago and it is difficult to get a replacement as she can not do a sleep study.
She doesn't know us and we don't know her, but we still laugh often. Her actions don't make sense, but we just call her a 'scamp' and laugh with her.
On her alert days, we watch scanning the room for something to get into, but her brain doesn't recognize anything. We delight when we see her gaze fix on an object and reach out to it. We are ecstatic when she will pick the object up. But it always just 5 seconds and she will drop it.
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This is a situation where euthanasia should be considered. Not for the mother, heavens, no, but for the people who tie her to a bed and think they are doing the right thing. I hope and pray she gets to a Nursing Home soon.
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Hi there

My mom is in a nursing home, has dementia, and can no longer walk. Since
we moved her to a nursing home she has tried getting out of bed several times
and ended up on the floor. Luckily she did not hurt herself. They have since
put an alarm on the bed to detect movement.

I would never want my mother to be restained! You can put pads on the floor
on each side of the bed, you can lower the bed as low to the floor as possible
to prevent injury when sliding out of bed.

I would suggest talking to another physician or other health professionals for
a better solution. Good luck.
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Obviously this is just my opinion - but anyone who has to be restrained in their own home is not in the right living environment. What a nightmare for this poor woman. Don't get me wrong - I think there can be a limited set of circumstances when restraints could be appropiate - in the home is not one of them. Please, please get this woman into a more appropiate setting where her safety can be properly monitored by trained medical staff round the clock - and without restraints.
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I don't know where the restraint situation is going on, but contacting the local APS would definitely be a very smart move, they may very likely jump right on this one
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1rarefind...proper facilities in CA are $7 to 8 thousand a month! ya think everyone can afford that????
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lifeexperiences, if the person needing a facility is clearly not safe to be outside of one, something definitely needs to be done for sure because if they're not safe to be at home, where else can I go besides on the street to sleep in a cardboard box, abandoned building, or under a bridge? The answer is simple, a proper facility. If this person in question has money, use that person's money toward their stay at a facility. When the money runs out, they get Medicaid.
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yes, i get that 1rarefind....but people can't always afford the luxury of putting a parent in a facility....it's not that easy and it's extremely expensive.
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I don't think its illegal to restrain in a private home or hospital but is in a nursing facility. Because of the different levels of my use, I have to gate my Mom in the lower room she is in so she won't fall down steps. I think you need to find a med that will help her. Also, in the rehab, because Mom would get out of bed, they lowered the bed almost to the floor. If she fell out, she only feel inches.
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lifeexperiences, I know that facilities are very expensive and many people cannot afford them, but that's where it insurance kicks in and that's definitely what Medicaid is for. In fact, I'll bet you around this town there are more people who can't afford the facility than those who can since our town is full of people on fixed income. Everywhere you look there's a facility, our town is actually a retirement town believe it or not. More people than not are on some kind of assistance because it seems like most people just can't afford cost of living on their own. This particular town is not exactly what would be an area of opportunity if it's a retirement town because around here there's nothing to do most of the time and you can actually die of boredom 😂 especially if you don't have much money, and there's really nothing much to do with no money! It also seems like more people than not end up in a nursing home sooner or later. In order to qualify for Medicaid though, those with money must do a spend down until they are down to a certain amount before qualifying for Medicaid. This is how to actually get on Medicaid (at least in Ohio). A friend of mine has his mom in a nursing home but he had to turn her check over to the nursing home. When the money's gone Medicaid takes over. Nursing homes are not really luxuries, they're absolute necessities for people who need them when families cannot care for their love ones any longer. Nursing homes are not hotels, the a residence for people who have no other choice but to enter one. Not just anyone can enter a nursing home, they must actually qualify and be unable to care for themselves and have no one able to care for them. A family may start out being able to care for someone until something happens and the family can no longer take care of the elderly person. Anytime someone enters a nursing home, the nursing home does require payment of some form, and when all of the money possible is paid to the nursing home, that's where Medicaid kicks in and takes over. Believe it or not, this is also how assets are eventually targeted because before qualifying for Medicaid, all money must be used up and all assets must be sold and the proceeds used before Medicaid will be given
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Sorry "one rare find".....I totally agree with "lifeexperiences". Yes Medicaid is the perfect solution in the perfect world but you need to understand that there are a lot of people who don't have much money but are still not eligible for Medicaid. Besides I find caring for family at home is the best route. The elderly don't need to be thrown in nh or al facilities to stay safe. It can be done at home with family assistance and outside help. Most people don't live in 'that perfect world' you describe. I'm even doubting whether you have ever even cared for someone with dementia before.
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