My 57 year old daughter wants control of my money.
I live alone, she doesn't want me to have a car, she will take me wherever I want to at her convenience. Is long suffering while she is being a wonderful daughter. I can't buy a dollar item without being told put that back you don't need it. She buys clothes for me and shoes rather than taking me shopping. We had a wonderful relationship I thought, as my friends died off it seemed wise to move close - not with, Thank God. My mind is great, I still play bridge on the computer, do puzzles every day, play cards at any opportunity. I lent a person some money. I and my husband both did this when he was alive. She is convinced I am being scammed, She is possibly right, I've had doubts and hired a detective, checked with FBI and other agencies. I told her I would stop sending money and in thanks she filed for guardianship. My cost in this matter is unbelievable. I don't pay anything THEY use my money to pay my lawyer, her lawyer, my sons lawyer, a doctor $500.00 mental exam and two mental health nurses. Who knows what they will charge. This is cruel and unnecessary.
Only... now what?
The thing is, that person who you probably don't want to call any daughter of yours *at the moment* is still the same person who is the daughter you've loved since the day she was born. What could she do that would adequately explain her reasoning and start to repair the damage?
Life will go on, and you don't want the situation as is to be normal.
Hard to judge these things from the little we get, but I am just saying at this point I would love my daughter like crazy, but would not have her in a position to manage my estate.
Great big hug!
You are relying on your daughter to some degree and you don't like it at all. I get that, it makes you angry as h*ll. So, the closest to you has to take the blame and the wrath. What would you do if you didn't have a daughter or son? Not much said about him.
About the dollar item, she said you didn't need it? Did you already have it and didn't remember? If she is treating you very poorly, you should speak to someone about that. But there are two sides to every story, and pretty sure there is way more to this one.
I don't think the daughter is a victim here. If @lonelyandold is relying on her for too much, the daughter should consider finding a way, perhaps APART FROM SEEKING LEGAL GUARDIANSHIP, to set boundaries and make the situation tolerable.
Depriving an autonomous adult of her liberty is a very serious matter, and I am thankful to live in a time and place in which it is a difficult thing to do.
This is a hard situation, to be sure, and my heart aches for the family.
I am sorry your sense of independence is being infringed upon by your own loved one. Sometimes, we as children want to assume the role of parents without first discussing the parents actual needs.
You are still the parent no matter how old the child is, you have a say so unless deemed incompetent.
You seem to be still sharp in mind, don;t let anyone count you out just yet.
Talk to your medical doctor, this ought to start the process.
Our seniors are wells of wisdom for our younger generation. God bless you!
In addition to making changes to POAs, wills, etc, I would ask your own attorney about the court costs. If YOUR funds were used for all the costs, you may be able to recoup them. It is likely based on state laws, but your profile doesn't list a state, so you need to seek legal advice. Here's what I found online:
"If the judge creates a guardianship, the fees can be paid out of the ward’s estate. However, if the court does not appoint a guardian or finds that the application was filed in bad faith, the applicant may be denied reimbursement for the expenses he or she incurred in filing."
So, if your assets were used, I would certainly look into getting them back! Also, if you can recoup the assets, please let us know. Sometimes this question comes up and it would be useful to be able to advise others in the future if they are thinking about filing for guardianship, but are on 'shaky' grounds. It can be costly if one loses! I would hope ALL states have this provision, to discourage frivolous filings. If people are aware that it might cost them a pretty penny unless they have a clear cut case, they might think twice before proceeding!
Protect yourself, protect your assets. Network for resources you feel in your gut you can trust. I hope you have a best friend, or another relative you trust. So sorry you are being pressed... and you are definitely not alone in spirit with this nasty issue.