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I'm a nanny of about 4 years. My latest position started about 1yr ago, for 2 teenage boys with ADHD, while their dad (my boss) works out of town, 7 days in a row, and then off for 7days. I work 14 days a month. When I interviewed, it was agreed that I would watch the boys, cook for them and their elderly g-ma with mild dementia, and clean his house, for 10.00 an hour. Average nanny here makes 10.00, average house cleaner makes 15.00, but figured I would give him a break on housecleaning. I was also to do med reminders for his elderly mother. As time went on, my boss has slowly added on to my duties. Now I am grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking boys to doc appts if sick or for check ups, laundry etc. I also recently found out that the eldest son has low level aspergers(think rainman). Homework with the eldest boy is a nightmare. Not long after I started, it became quite clear that his elderly mother was much worse than what he said. She constantly wanted to drive her car(she had wrecked it w/ the boys with her prior to me working for them, and my boss said she is not to drive, ever. I had to hide keys and listen to her complain constantly about wanting to drive. He now takes her car when he goes out of town, but she still frets over it constantly. I am there for 1 hr in the morn. to get the boys off to school and then I go back 15 min before they get home, until they go to bed at 8:30. I get them fed, homework done,have them shower, and settled into bed. I am on the road an average of 2-3 hours per day for an average of 6 1/2 hours for $65.00 per day. The elderly mother saw a neurologist who ordered her not to drive. She then saw a psych doc who ordered the same thing, and yet she still has her DL, so she still thinks she can drive! After reading the psych eval, her dementia is MUCH worse than what my boss said it was(which I knew from her actions and our interactions when I am there). The eval also states that she is not of sound mind to take care of her own medical, or financial matters and shouldn't be cooking unsupervised etc, and she is not to be left alone. Apparently my boss eluded to this psych doc that I "live in" while he is gone at work, which is a flat out lie. I have told him on numerous occasions that I don't feel it is safe that she is alone with the boys all night, without me there, and that I am afraid she is going to burn the house down. He scoffs and says he doesn't think it is time for that yet(he doesn't want to pay for live in care). She hides stuff in the oven all the time and then forgets its in there. She forgets to feed and potty the dog. She wakes the kids up in the middle of the night, and they are tired all the time. During last summer, I was running them back and forth from his home to her home(her, the boys, the dog, food, clothes etc) because she preferred to be at her home where there is a pool. I cleaned the pool, topped the water off, put chlorine in it etc. She owns numerous rental properties, has retirement,has her social sec, her deceased husbands social sec, owns her home(prob worth $300,000.00),lives at my boss's house. They take numerous vacations every year. My boss takes the boys skiing every time he comes home from work, they keep their boat docked at the marina at the lake all summer long. They are not hurting for $. Now it has come that I am taking his elderly mother to doctor appointments when she's sick, taking her to check ups, because he doesn't want to do it on his days off, taking her to hair appts etc.My boss has even said to me that it is becoming more about caring for his mom, than it is about the boys. I said you're right!!! I am running 18 hour days from the time I have to get up, til I can finally go to bed, and I am wore out. I have fibromyalgia, a fused neck, a pinched lumbar nerve, bilateral sciatica, bilateral carpal tunnel,, tmj,migraines, ministrokes, inflammation on my brain which could belymes, lupus, ra or possible MS. I have white spots on my brain. I'm currently going thru testing right now. Severe insomnia, chronic pain, blahblah. I have lots more wrong but its just to much to write. I don't want your pity. I just need suggestions as to what would be fair to ask for in my situation. Something more in line with the amount of work that I amdoing.maybe a daily rate, a 7day weekly rate and/or a 7 day live in rate???? Thank you for your time! Sorry so long! Ps-i do not get any sick time, no personal time, no vacation time, no health ins or dental ins. And I never agreed to be an elderly care worker. It just kind of evolved. I do love this family as if they were my own. Thanks!

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The mobile home needs just abit of work to be liveable. It will not be moved. It will be sold where it sits. I plan on moving to florida this fall, before winter sets in again. My mother is not moving to Florida with me. I am nannying for two teenage boys and basically watching their elderly grandmother with dementia, for free, which is why I posted on here. My current boss seems to think I should be doing 2/3 of my work for free, which I will be putting a stop to, this week. Thank you for your thoughts!
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Re: Florida and the mobile home that needs work. I'd sell/give away the MH as is, with the person assuming the lot lease ($2000 moving fee seems reasonable, so keep that in mind!). Then I'd take your mother & your animals down to FL and get a new MH near a VA hospital. If you lived near Orlando, the rentals are cheap and you could work as a babysitter for vacationers.
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KristinK....idk the answer to your question. You may want to ask your question, as a new discussion, which may get you the answers that you seek. I wish I could be of help, but I just don't know. I'm sorry and good luck!
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I am the wife and caregiver of my husband going on 5 1/2 years now. Is there a way I can get paid? I've tried to work but my husband has Parkinsons and brain damage from a stroke. He falls often and working outside the home is very stressful for both he and I.
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I have thought about joining an agency but the problem with that is you are usually required to lift, do personal care(bathing) and diaper changes etc. The first two I am unable to do. I have a pinched lumbar nerve with bilateral sciatica which they won't treat, as well as a fused neck which still causes a lot of pain, which they will not treat, and I just can't do diaper changes/toileting. I left that behind, when my kids grew up. I am likely going to just ask my doctor to recommend a family leave of absence and look for another job, with 1 client and file for disability. I think that is going to be my best bet. Thank you for your thoughts! 😊
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10 an hour is standard, the problem is that is typically for a single client. You have 3. Forget asking for a raise, more money will not decrease the stress.
Look into joining an agency, you will make about the same and have benefits such as sick days.
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I have a therapist that I see monthly. I am going to speak to her about possibly taking a leave of absence from this job using the FMLA, which I will use that time to find another job and file for disability. Please don't use the N word....that offends me. Thank you for your thoughts!
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Sound like you feel worthless, you need counseling, but can't afford it. If you feel the need to be a slave I'll take you in and treat you a lot better or worst just let me know what you want. You have no idea of how bad it is because you know knowing else but abuse. ABUSE and DEPRESSION, ABUSE and Depression. You need some one strong to lead you out of this ABUSE, choose wisely because all you know is ABUSE and anything else does not feel fimilure so you are likely to choose more abuse. My be you need to turn to God for protection, it's OK as a last resort but it best to do it as a first resort. Christians are are abusers at there worst but Christ is not. Christians use it as a cover to abuse. Christ is not in them. You got a hard case to crack, get cracking. I did not read any post but yours.
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I woke up yesterday with thrush on my tongue and down my throat. I think from all the stress. This sucks. 😢
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If i don't have the W2 and my OT by mid march, I will be calling IRS and filing a complaint against him with the labor board. Not too hard to do, and both are within my rights.
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W2's are to be issued by end of january. He hasn't held anything from your paychecks? Good luck in getting any help from him.
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Sunflo2:yes, big lesson learned! Lol Thank you all, you have been great! 😊
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I need to speak with an attny about all of this but can't afford one. Does anyone know of where I can find one pro bono that can given advice on how to handle this man?
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Oh I'm aware of the deadlines, lol So what should I tell him about him wanting the dates with each days hours and then each weeks total hours????
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Lessons learned here for you. Always get an employment contract written up for any caregiving. He got a bargain and knows it. Next time make sure wages, OT, vacation, benefits -retirement, healthcare, etc.; expenses are all clearly documented and agreed by both parties. Invoice regularly, and keep meticulous records.
When double duty with extra kid, elder, etc...renegotiate or add an addendum.
Best wishes in FL. Maybe you can find better situation in FL. Research fair wages up front.
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He was to have provided that information to you already. There are very specific deadlines as to when it had to be provided. He is stringing you along. http://www.ssa.gov/employer/filingDeadlines.htm

Do not write on his calendars. Keep your own records, as he should have kept his own.
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Hes being a total a**. He said, well we have til April 14 to get you your W2, i said ummmm.....i need to file asap. Im not waiting til the last friggin day to file my taxes! I took pictures of the checks. Now he wants me to write down all of my hours on each date, for this year (on one of his calendars)and last years hours on each date, on a piece of paper, for his accountant. I hope he gets in all kinds of trouble for this. And he better take out for unemployment, because i think he is biding his time with me, in order to move his girlfriend in, so he will no longer need me. He said if everything works out between those two, ill always have a place with their family, even at less hours. He acts like i am a teenager working a play job for extra money. No...this is my profession. Our time is coming to a close, i can see it now.
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He sure needs to speak to his accountant they have to figure out how to keep him under the radar from the IRS. if you haven't cashed that check photocopy it first so you have proof he has been paying you. he may start giving you cash.
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He didn't leave me checks for my OT....said he needed to speak with his accountant first. Duh..Google it. Not that hard. Sheesh
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He hasn't taken taxes out of any of my paychecks yet. I wrote that I wanted social security, medicare, federal and state taxes and federal and state unemployment taxes taken out. Will write more in a bit regarding the filing for unemployment issue.
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The boss doesn't get OT because he is salaried but you certainly are entitled to be paid for all the hours you work. he is going to be in big trouble over the taxes but that is his problem. I bet he has not been paying unemployment insurance. Be very care with quiting because you may not be entitled to unemployment if you quit only if you are fired.
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Rotflmfao! Well, I texted my boss with my hrs from last week, and included the 3 hrs OT, and then the extra day I had to work, due to an orientation the oldest boy had at the school he will be going to next year. Also gave him the amounts that he has shorted me from my paychecks this year so far, and then asked for a separate check or cash for items I paid for that were not wages. Told him we will need to square up on OT due from last year before taxes are done, and then 2015 OT owed as well. Told him the exact amounts were on a copy, which I left up in the cubbie, where the grocery card and car keys are kept.

He said, why don't we skip taxes this year. I said I can't, that I need them filed, because of whatever is wrong with my brain inflammation etc, I may need to file for social security disability. He said well I didn't even think we were going to file taxes. (When I interviewed, I specifically asked him if he planned to file his childcare fees and he said he probably would). He then asked, what's up with this OT? I said, it is my understanding that any hours over 40 hours in a week, are OT and are to be paid at time and a half. I said, I would be happy to look up the actual labor law regarding it, and send it to you. He was like, well, I work 12 hours a day and I don't get OT. I said, well my sister works at a doggy daycare and grooming shop and was working an insane amount of hours, and her boss wasn't paying her OT for hours over 40, and my sister called, and it is the law, that any hours over 40 hours in a week, are to be paid at time and a half. Its the law.

I didn't bring up a raise in my wages to better reflect the amount of work that I am doing. I'll wait on that, until after I get these taxes done. If he refuses to raise my pay, I will have no choice but to quit. I will then file for unemployment, due to him giving me so many additional duties with no additional pay, and it will likely go to a hearing, where I have proof of what was agreed on(my notes during the interview, as well as his ad, looking for a nanny only). Then it will likely come out about his moms moderate dementia, his sons ADHD, his eldest sons aspergers and their being left alone at night(who is watching who???).

I'm feeling better about things! 😊
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57twin: thank you for the information! :)
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In Pennsylvania it's called Department of Aging just google it.
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If you wanted to get paid for her care it should be run through her POA.
Commission on Aging is a service run by the county. I would like their should be one in every county?
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Im not sure what we have in place in the way of a Commission on aging. There are senior centers, which she absolutely refuses to go to. They are for "old people", she says, lol I'll see what I can come up with. She does have a POA, but it is not the son that she lives with(my boss), and from whatni have gathered, there has been some skimming of her $ by those with the POA. I prefer not to know too much in regards to that. Makes my life a bit easier, lol
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Before my dad moved into assisted living I was looking for a caregiver just to be with him for a few hours, maybe make lunch at the most. I live in a rural area and when I contacted the local Commission on Aging I could not find anyone who was willing to drive the 18 miles from the local cities to help. I would register your services at the local Commission on Aging with your fees and I am certain you would get phone calls from people wanting to hire you at your set price.
As with the others you are getting taken advantage of. I wonder if there is a POA in place for the mother as with her written description of her condition I do not think you could directly ask her for money.
I hope you and your employer can come to terms about your pay and expected duties.
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And that is why I want to goto Florida. Not to runaway from anything, but to have a fresh start,not know a soul, live near the beach, which calms my mind, body and soul. I feel so at peace near the ocean. A calmness. Its hard to describe. I just feel better.
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I have seen Sweet Misery, numerous times and try to cut aspartame out of my diet as much as possible,. I hate that out counties food supply is so inundated with GMOs , aspartame and high fructose corn syrup. Would love to eat totally organics, gluten fee, no aspartame, no GMO, but in this country, u til the laws are changed, it is simply too hard and too expensive to eat that way. If I were to eat a diet suitable for someone with fibro, possible Lyme's/lupus/ra/ms I would be eating fruits and vegitables and that's about it. If I were to take all the supplements that are recommended for my health conditions, I would spend well over 200.00 a month. That unfortunately is not feasable. Sure wish I had won the powerball Wednesday night! Lol
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"SWEET MISERY" unbelievable information for everybody about what's going on in our food!!!
good luck and God bless you
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