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My mom is 78, has terrible mobility, CHF, breathing issues, depression, low O2 saturation, she self-medicates, is defiant with her assisted living facility just to act out and resist losing her independence and she’s extremely lazy and doesn’t clean up after herself and would be surrounded in filth if not for the staff at her facility. She is not allowed to manage her own meds and has been told repeatedly if she keeps buying over the counter cbd supplements she will get kicked out, but she keeps buying it anyway. She lives in a small town 3 hours from me and there are no other options for her. I refuse to even consider her moving either near me or in with me and my family because she is in the perfect place for her. It’s her responsibility if she screws this up. I have POA if a doc says she’s not competent, and her doctor and I are getting close to thinking that’s where we are. Really I guess just looking for support that at a certain point I can’t stop my life for her bad decisions. I truly think if she gets kicked out, she’ll be homeless and/or die.

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Are you talking to the facility?

The best option is that they kick her out by sending to the ER. And you tell the hospital social workers that there is no place for her to live; they need to find her a placement.

You, as POA, work with them to find placement.

Have you considered resigning your POA and having her become a ward of the state?
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Since mom insists on doing things Her Way, I'd let her know immediately about the AL rules pertaining to CBD and that she's going to be kicked out of AL. The next step for her will either be a homeless shelter or a Medicaid SNF where she'll have NO OPTIONS to even leave the premises. You will not support any more of her bad decisions and she'll be 100% on her own if she's evicted from the AL.

Stick to your guns and know that it's HER decision from here.
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Some people absolutely insist on learning all lessons the hard way.

Your best bet it to do nothing. After she has been living in a cardboard box under a bridge for awhile she might figure a few things out.
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I recommend to you a book, a memoir by Liz Scheier called Never Simple. Some things cannot be fixed. I am so sorry you are going through this. I myself would not be attempting to get an order of incompetency and management; I would be resigning my POA and letting the state take over. For many it must be as tho they never had children; it is difficult enough to manage a cooperative senior. For someone like your mom it is impossible.
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Has she been seen by a Geriatric Psychiatrist?

Also, see:

https://outofthefog.website
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