Follow
Share

She has moderate dementia and can’t stand long periods, almost bedridden. She pulls her clothes/diapers off at night. She calls every hour for a few sips, I work with barely any sleep and I pay for someone to stay with her until I get off. She barely eats or drinks and is very mean to me, I am at wits end. I have a home, yet I have to stay with her. She lost 25 pounds in less than two months. She hallucinates and her Dr. does not support her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Might be time to consider placing her, if you are in the US perhaps Medicaid can help, really you should not be paying for her care, where is her immediate family?

You will run yourself into the ground if you keep this up, there are other options, why not pursue them?

Sorry about this, wish I had more to offer but I see no other solution.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

She’s your aunt and you “have to stay with her”? Why do you ‘have to’ do anything? You wouldn’t be obliged if she was your mother, let alone your aunt.

On a more practical note, I would look for a water bottle that you sip from, that she can have in bed with her and take her sips without spilling it or waking your up. I saw ‘adult sippy cups’ in a shop recently, but haven’t seen one in action. Perhaps other posters have some ideas.

If she doesn’t want to eat and is losing weight, is it a problem? It may suggest that she is moving towards the end of her life – and is that a problem either? If you ‘have to’ cope, perhaps if you stop worrying you will find it easier.
Best wishes, Margaret
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If you can get her doctor to recommend LTC for her, then you can apply for Medicaid for her, which (along with her SS) will pay for that.

Does she have any financial resources at all to pay for private pay for MC for now? Even if she'll run out of money shortly, if she can get recommended for LTC at least she will be in a facility of choice (as long as they have open Medicaid beds and accept Medicaid residents).
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is more than moderate dementia. And nowhere is it commanded that you have to stay with her.

Write a note to her doctor stating what you have written here. Tell him you can no longer care for her and she needs placement.

Then go home.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Sadly your Aunt has lost her independance.

You have stepped in & also arranged other caregivers to support her, but as she is declining, it's time to plan ahead.

You describe someone with more than moderate dementia symptoms. I would seek another medical assessment & consider Hospice evaluation too.

Your profile says you are POA. Therefore you can arrange assessment, care & accomodation as required. Have a frank discussion with her Doctor about your Aunt & what pathways are available now.

You have to decide what you will do.

Being POA does not mean you have to do everything yourself. It means you have the necessary authority to act on your Aunt's behalf.

If you will be returning to your home, find out where your Aunt can safely go when you leave. Or if staying, for how much longer will you stay? Arrange & pay for the extra help you will need for this timeframe.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter