An unhealthy obsession with the bowels. Any advice?

I still say don't ignore it because my Mom kept saying that she was constipated and the dr was just blowing it off, come to find out she was severely impacted. After a second trip to the ER the same dr. looked into it further and apologized to her and the whole family. It took him hours to clean her out and even then he said he got all he could that there was still more that he couldn't get. This was at Martinsburg hospital in PA. A few years ago. I think she was around 72 or 73 years old then. Be very careful.

I, being a caregiver for 15 years, have come to know that as the elderly start getting the dementia and the sundowners syndrome...the need or the obsession with the bowels is a constant. Until they can no longer use the pot and are incontinent, they will push and push and push until they give themselves hemeroids. I have always watched what goes in...and what comes out. It's so saddening to watch them go through this. But...there really is nothing you can do other than to tell them " oh..you had a bm just a bit ago" and typically that would do the trick and they would be okay until the next feeling which was always within the next 2 hours or so. Aside from that, you really can't TELL them they don't have a bowel, as that just upsets them. Just kinda make it playful, keep it light, watch their food and water intake and just go with it. Let them sit on the pot for 10 minutes, tell them they did a great job, give'em a hug and a smooch and it'll be okay for a tad. Touch is HUGE..and I truly believe it takes their mind off of wanting or feeling the need to go. Good luck and keep up the good fight!!! It's SO worth it in the end!! Be proud of how far you've come!! Chin up...:) God bless and take good care of YOU

The hospitals think you should go everyday. Everytime Mom is in they load her up on stool sofeners and laxatives that don't work. Next time she is in I'm going to tell them no laxatives. It screws her up.

I doubt he would be saying anything if he was not uncomfortable. I am 52 with the same problems. There are lots of reasons for bowel obstruction and it's not all in our heads.

Elders' beliefs aren't always correct. Also, they dstick with what they kmow, rather than modern medicine.

My dad, who has been gone for 50 years now, believed that everyone needed to have a BM every day. He used to ask me, and there were times I had friends staying with us he would ask them as well. (embarassing!) Many older people were raised to believe this.

We tried all sorts of enema, prune juice etc, etc and nothing worked. He had to put her to sleep and remove it. He did admit that he was wrong and she definitely needed med. attn. stat.

i just can't imagine a doctor all well knowing that a patient is impacted and not doing anything, that can be life threatening to the patient, I wonder how the doctor would feel if he was sued for malpractice and lost his license or better yet if his wife or family member was that way, would they want them to suffer. hopefully to those on here that had loved ones with impactions that they got them resolved. so sad.

You can use an enema. The bags that you fill with water and hose. Not the little squirt bottles.

Too true. the docs said mum wasn't constipated to begin with. She was impacted and her anal sphincter wouldn't close. I could actually see what appeared to be a tennis ball size wedging the muscle open. Docs STILL wouldn't come out so in the end (no pun intended) I manually disimpacted her which was gross I have to say. Only later did I learn it is something I MUST NOT do as it is classed as invasive and Ive not been trained....so what do you do? Leave them in agony and at a huge risk of infection/cross contamination to urinary tract with all the incumbent issues those infections carry? of course you don't.. I have told my doc that next time I will report him if he refuses to come out under the safeguarding laws of withholding medical treatment. We now have his direct line ....odd that!

We have the same problem with my mom. She is 75 and has been having problems with her bowels for a number of years. She does have hemorrhoids. although one time we had her to the emergency room and the dr insisted she wasn't constipated, come to find out she was severally impacted. The dr then apologized and fixed the problem after a second trip to the ER. She was in a lot of pain. So what I am saying is make sure. Get more than one opinion.

Get Milk Thistle tincture by HerbPharm . Available online. Fill a small juice glass with water, drop about 1/3 to 1 whole dropper full into the water and stir, then drink. Can also go in fruit juice if preferred. It stimulates the liver which in turn stimulates the bowels and you WILL go. Good for diabetics who cannot have the prune juice. Have also had great success with probiotic capsules. Also a high quality, easy to digest goat milk yogurt can work wonders. But best advice here is the cereal/fruit recipe.

Thank you for sharing. I have been dealing with this for a while now with my 86 year old father. One day he found the stool softners and took 3 of them, needless to say I spent about 4 days cleaning the bathroom and sheets and him. It's just comforting to know I'm not alone.

my father was also obsessed with thinking he had stuff to come out. And he already had prostate tumor removed so that wasn't the issue. His issue was this: he said "i have always had a bowl movement every day every since i was younger"......but I told him, things change as we age and with him eating less, there is less to come out, therefore the new normal might be "every other day". He even went as far as to have me give him an enema (thats when I saw more than I thought I ever would), but that didn't help either. I told him thats because he isn't eating enough for it to get down further into the intestines to come out until he eat more food.

mumtothree
I agree with you but I find myself that as a I age I tend to say exactly what is on my mind (but hope I filter it a bit!) Guess age does have its privileges!

Thank you so much for posting. My father goes through this periodically. Saw the Internist, Gastro, Endocrinologist, Urologist. Slightly enlarged prostate but nothing major. When he gets on these kicks, he takes Metamucil, Citracel, Phillips caplets, 2 different probiotics, Mylanta, Tums, Senekot and stool softener. I took most everything away and it was worse than an alcoholic... He has stashes everywhere, or would call and get people to bring him things. It seems like it starts as a small issue and becomes an obsession - then it's no wonder he gets stopped up with all the stuff he takes. Plus, he calls several times a day to report on bowel movements or lack thereof, and will discuss it with anyone within earshot.
Coincidentally, it started about 86 for him as well. Almost 90 now. Like I said, it comes and goes in waves....

Thanks Vicki for all your useful info. I do agree that some doctors put things in category and they don't look further. If a ct scan doesn't show something then it's not a problem or "oh well".

A home health nurse told me to give him a juice glass of prune juice each morning and it will take care of any constipation. Presto! Nothing like good old natural prune juice! The doctor had specified Milk of Magnesia, but the home health nurse said, "Forget it! Prune juice!" Those nurses often know more than the doctors! :)

Could be diet is his belly extended cheese milk eggs and beef might give him that I got to go feeling as well as spice go with the oatmeal diet or brat bland and yes save his Stoll's he could be eating seeded food getting trapped in his ingestion course irratasion making them swell and some times get infected so he feel pressured to go then all the pushing only inflms his piles more let him take SIS's baths or tub baths in hot water it will relax him also lay off coffee and coco drink herbal mint tea or calimine tea

So did they do an x-ray to rule out fecal impaction?

Does he have dementia?

Buy a 3-QUART ENEMA (most likely online) to fill the colon SLOWLY. Use lubricant. Hold it for a few minutes of possible. It will take several trips to the toilet before its all out. It's a "pain in the butt" but the only way to clean out the colon immediately. It will also answer if there's stool stuck in there. Don't use the little Fleets Squirt bottles... they're useless.

It's frustrating that people think these people are obsessed, bored or imagining things. I am 52 and suffered 2 years with similar problems; I could not work or do much of anything. I learned there are many "hidden" causes that most doctors know nothing about. It seems if it's not on the Top 10 List of "obvious problems" then it's all in your head. If you can afford to spend a week at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota they will run a series of tests which no one else has. It could be any number of the following:
Rectal Dyssynergia- The rectal muscles are "confused" from too much straining and don't work. There is pelvic physical therapy for this.
Hernia - A nerve, piece of fat, or intestine is trapped by a weakness in the abdominal wall. Send scans to Dr. Shirin Towfigh in Beverly Hills. She's the only one who gets it.
Pseudo-Obstruction - Kinks or muscle weakness in the large or small intestine prevent proper flow. (Mayo Clinic)
Scar Tissue - Scar tissue from prior surgery can press against or wrap around intestines and restrict flow.
Chocolate Tumors - Dark tumors that do not show up on Scans.
Parasites - Clusters of worms that block flow; particularly if traveled out of country to poor countries.
SIBO- Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth
Food Allergies - Dairy, Soy and Gluten are common. There are many more.
Note: I personally think Irritable Bowel Syndrome is code for "We don't know what's wrong with you and we wont keep looking." Symptoms are always the result of an underlying problem. You just need to find it.

my dad has this obsession also. he has enlarged prostate and a catheter, because his bladder no longer functions. He also has advanced kidney disease among other issues too numerous to list. He is 83 I am his caregiver. He will insist on Fleet enemas and do them himself! I put miralax in his cup of coffee in the morning and it keeps him regular. Its tasteless and odorless. We get the equivalent in Publix brand and save a few dollars.

I wish more people would raise bees.

I think people of a certain age grew up thinking they had to go everyday. Yes, it does feel better but not necessary. My dad also has had trouble thinking he needs to go everyday and taken natural stool softeners (senekot). Now he's on probiotic pills instead and that seemed to help. He is almost 93 but this started about 3 or 4 years ago with him saying he was constipated after 1 day of not going. You might try probiotic pills or miralax since that can be put in coffee or anything. Good Luck.....

STOOL SOFTENERS & MALOX... Can't hurt him...

Just have to say :-) that bananas bind and if u have kidney problems not good because of the pottasium. Would loveto give them to Mom but the doctor said no.

The hospital has Mom on all kinds of stuff because she didn't go everyday. When I was given the discharge papers I questioned it. Later found out her med was causing the constipation so was taken off. Stopped the Senna and when she went the other way, the colace. Dr. said Phillips if haven't gone in two days. There muscles are not the same anymore. If they have a hemroid that could be what they r feeling.

The question is whether or not he is in fact moving his bowels. Has anyone seen him do this, and if so, how often and how much? A lot of us who have an "obsession" with moving our bowels have real undiagnosed bowel issues. He may have an obstruction or pseudo-instruction that has not been picked up during colonoscopy, because it is not prominent or visible while laying down with an empty stomach. You may want to have a Sitz-Marker Study, where he swallows a capsule containing radioactive markers to see where they get stuck or a pill-capsule or barium enema. Mayo Clinic has more extensive bowel follow-through tests. I found out I have a hernia that is "kinking my bowel" but it has not shown up on any tests until I sent a CT Scan to Dr. Shirin Towfigh in Beverly Hills. She found it. If nothing works you may want to try prescription Linzess for constipation. It will produce a bowel movement each day for relief but it will probably be diarrhea. Feeling bound up is very uncomfortable... I feel bad for your dad. I was called crazy for 2 years by numerous doctors who could not see any problem. Best of luck.

My mothers nurse told her to cut down on coffee, its a diuretic and causes constipation