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This is not about respite but a nice story nonetheless. The other night I was talking with my dad about how it was the one year anniversary of Hurricane Sandy. He came to live with us soon after. His house had some damage but at 87 he needed to move out of it anyway and either go live with one of his children or go to assisted living. I said you've been here almost a year and he replied that he's never had it this good in his whole life. My husband and I really appreciated hearing that he thinks we are taking very good care of him.
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Started out the day with "dread" after a phone call about MOM. Then the guy came and installed my new gutters, and was so nice and did a great job. Watched the birds at the feeder, and the squirrels begging me for peanuts, and the day ended on a joyful note!! Nice people and nature......unbeatable tonic.
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We had a new kitchen sink and faucet installed today. The sink was cast iron and original to the house, and just could not get it clean any longer. All pipes under sink were replaced. Just such a fresh look for a house my mom has been in in 50 years. She was at her day program when the work was done, just cannot do these things when she is here for a variety of reasons. She has now been home for almost an hour and a half, has even used the kitchen sink, and did not notice the difference which is huge! LOL!
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a few days ago i had a little extra money in my pocket so i gave it to gma & dropped her off at the casino. i got back to the house, gave the keys to my only child, told her she could take the car or take the bus but i refused to drive her to work because it was only a four hour shift.

she pulled up her ADULT pants said ok mom, i can do this and twenty minutes later she called to say "I DID IT MOM! I MADE IT TO WORK!! THE CAR DIDN'T EVEN STALL ON ME!!"

i was so happy to have the house to myself just for a little while....

when my daughter got home from work(again without stalling) we picked gma up who had a smile on her face(which meant she won) gma treated us to dinner that night.

my kid has not driven herself to work since then because driving stick still makes her nervous but i thank god & her for giving me that ONE day!!

enjoy your time alone!!!
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Just have to say a big thanks to OLDCODGER, or whoever started this thread. It's so good to have a reminder to focus on the positive, even if you need a microscope to find it!!!! Have a wonderful weekend all you caregivers!!!
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I am so glad for you I'm CRYING! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Here is hoping your MIL wants to move to AZ to be with her sister!
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Hey you guys, my Brother has been at our house for 2 weeks. The same brother who has not visited Mom since last Dec 30th almost a year ago. The bad news is Mom was Medivac'd to Anchorage two weeks ago, 5hrs Ortho Surgery. But my brother is there! It's a MIRACLE FOLKS! It's a MIRACLE!
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November is National Family Caregivers Month. I received an email invitation to attend their yearly conference on Nov 16th with limited seating for 75 attendees. I've never attended one, and I replied yes last week Friday. Then asked my boss yesterday if I can get that Saturday off. It's going to be held at a hotel. I'm excited and scared. I'm terrified of any "encourage participation" of us attendees. But, I got accepted!
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Book, that is wonderful, should be a fun and interesting event for you. I think I have seen you write before that your island has severely limited resources for either education or caregiver support. How did they find you?
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NFCSP - National family caregiver support program. Father was the main caregiver and under their program before he got his stroke. When he became bedridden, they came to our home and interviewed me as their new client. They are here for me - the main caregiver- for respite. They provide limited hours per year (so we stretched it by once a week for one hour so that they can come and talk to father and shave him). They also provide a limited amount of "free" products (pampers, wipes, gloves, etc....) for the patients and I - as the caregiver - was given a certain amount of $$ in vouchers. Last year, I chose $60 Ross card. This year, I got 4 theater ticket worth $10 each, PLUS 7 free one-on-one therapy sessions. I gave them my email. And that's how I received the invitation.

I'm sure that they have these conference in your area if you all have a National Family Caregiver Support Program...maybe they're using a different name? All I know is that this is only once a year - during the Caregiver's month.
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For the folks who have sibling issues, I would like to share. My sis and I were very close, over the time dad was ill, we had a falling out for the same reasons many experience. The good news is we made up and are better than ever, while I headed dad's care, she is taking the more active role in mom's.

I lost my dad, will lose my mom, did not want to lose my sis.

I hope other over stressed families will find reconciliation.
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I am so haapy to have something to add to this topic. The hospice add some space and asked if I wanted to bring my Mom in. It was a few days before my birthday so I decided I wanted to have a great birthday and let her go. I didn't worry about a thing for the first time ever. My husband and I jumped in the car and headed to the beach. I ate, shopped and people watched. The best birthday in a long time. I felt great! I hope everyone can find a break for themselves today...big or small!
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Can I just insert a laugh? I was standing at the bathroom sink washing my face when my cat smokey jumped up on the counter, slid and fell feet first into the toilet! He moves fast!
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mythyme, I can just see it. Thanks for the chuckle!
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I've been caring for my husband with Alzheimers for many years now. He has no memories, is incontinent and is having trouble now with walking. BUT he is the happiest, sweetest person. He has just recently started hugging me and saying "I love you", when normally he struggles terribly with sentences. For me it's like a small miracle. I feel so sorry for all the people looking after bad-tempered, abusive relatives. I am truly blessed. I know things could change in an instant and have prepared myself for that but I live in the present and for the time being I am very very lucky.
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While visiting my mom in memory care, I took her dog with me, my mom always introduces me over again to the same people. She told the others, this my baby referring to the dog....then she looked at me saying...this is my other baby!!! She hasn't referred to me as her baby in many years, my heart soared as I am the youngest and this is how she used to introduce me to others!! God Bless all of you!!
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Sharyn, how wonderful, somehow introducing you as the baby has such a sweet sound to it.
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Sharyn, I love this! My Mom used to do the same thing. Sometimes at night she says..Thank you baby and gives me a kiss. It just melts my heart and I live to fight another day.
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Coleen~what a beautiful post!! Enjoy these moments, they will stay with you forever!!
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Pixiegirl~I am happy you have these special moments with your mother. It does make the world seem right again and we can go on to another day.
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Whoopee!!!! I found you again. Lost this but figured out to check the "Following" tab. Not exactly a computer genius.
Anyway......just wanted to share such happy news. Had my first social outing since the shoulder surgery last Friday and had lunch with some friends which lasted 3 hrs, as we all hadn't been together in a while. Then I ran 4 errands and filled up the gas, and went home. Took a nap, and still slept 12 hrs that night!

Did nothing on Saturday but rest. Sunday I drove to visit a recently widowed friend about 2 hrs away. Had a lovely visit (drove with an ice pack on my shoulder secured by my seatbelt) and came home the same way. In between we went to the beach, out to lunch and had a wonderful visit.

Came home, fed the pets, and took a short nap, and again slept for 12 hrs. So this is my new plan. One day of fun, one day of complete rest--what a great life! This surgery recovery has allowed me a break in dealing with mother, and "oh, what a relief it is!"
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Good for you! Love to hear this kind of news!
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all my hard work on the neighbor's front yard has paid off. the neighbor told me to take gma to her hair salon today for a free haircut & pedicure. even though gma complains that i don't take care of her, its what she DOESN'T know that i do for her that make me feel good.
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I'm with BoniChak -- I love to hear this kind of news! I feel good for all of you getting some breaks and enjoying yourselves. It makes me happy for you all and inspires me to try something too.

gmaandsam, that's so cool that you enjoy doing/giving "on the sly"; kind of like a secret santa, right?

Recently I've found that admitting my tiredness and taking breaks has given me a new outlook. I kept trying to be strong (after all someone else has it worse . . .) but was feeling really stressed. I've learned to call on friends for some assistance, reduced my conversation about what's not going right, and have paid for help to get out a little more often. Dad is enjoying the break too. Looking forward to a whole day away next week!

What's your good news?
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What a great idea your post is! We need positivity in our lives. I swear to God my Mom NEVER says anything nice (except to her friends).

My happy story is simple: yesterday I had my hair cut and highlighted. It's probably been a year since I got my hair highlighted, and I really needed it cut, so I'm thrilled!
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It is really uplifting to read positive and sometimes humorous happenings for caregivers when what we often deal with is negative. From time to time, my dear niece will call and say: I have some free time, is there somewhere you would like to go to get away? She is the only one my mom feels comfortable with apart from me, and is the only relative who ever offers to help in any way. I quickly and gratefully take her up on her offers, and I make sure my brothers hear about it. (Yes, a bit of resentment there, but I'm working on that.) I have a dear friend who often will come to my home to share take-out food and dvds with us so I can have company and still be available to mom. Another friend will show up with a plate of goodies. The other day I heard the sound of a leaf-blower and looked out the front window to see my kind neighbor doing our leaves. The same neighbor also clears our driveway of snow in the winter. It is good to pay attention to the blessings in our lives because they are surely there. Sometimes we just have to look a bit harder to find them.
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I was ready to start a full RANT on here having a rough morning, but Thanks be to God, I found some good news here from you fine ladies and men. I REALLY needed to hear some good news today thank you. Youre doing Gods work, and you are wonderful...if nobody ever tells you...YOU ARE WONDERFUL!
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How about a little funny today?

Under the category "things you'd rather not hear":

"Are you coming in?"
(My elderly father who has dementia to me when I was helping him in the shower).
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I love this idea. Yes please Enjoy your time. I got to go to Palm Springs for a few days and it was just so hard to enjoy but I sure felt refreshed when I got back. I feel blessed that I can take care of my 83 year old mom and give her her last wish to die in her home at this point. Not everyone is cut out for this caregiving so that in itself is a positive. God Bless you all and keep smiling no matter the circumstances : )
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Last night, I decided to sleep early (midnight) and did my usual reading before sleeping. I'm on Book 4 on a mystery series. I don't usually laugh on her books. But this particular book has 2 men interested in her... and I just found out last night .. are now pro-actively fighting to be number one (even though she keeps emphasizing "Friends" only.) I kept giggling so hard on their shenanigans. I was sleepy when I got on the bed. In 30 minutes, I was wide awake giggling. I've always hated these scenarios of 2 guys vying for 1 female. BUT, it was a very nice way to end my day - happy before knocking out.
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