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THIS ISN'T SMALL STUFF: I feel almost guilty doing this post - because I know good things like this just don't happen. I don't really know how in the world this came about - guess the planets were aligned or something. But it happened.

There is so little really GOOD stuff happening for care givers - I know. But something happened that has given me a real lift! Nothing short of a MIRACLE, actually!

My MIL's sister moved into a fabulous (think very elegant) ALF and has asked my MIL to come and visit here there. She wasn't sure if that would be allowed - but she wanted her only sister to come out for a visit and she had planned to check on it and get back with my MIL.

Her memory isn't real good - so she may have forgotten :0) Because she didn't call back right away.

2 days later and still no word. So, my MIL asked me if I could give them a call and ask if she would be allowed to come and visit. So, I called. The person I spoke to said they would have to pass it by the director. She would call us back.

3 more days and the call finally came. Every single day my MIL asked me if I had heard anything from AZ yet. Finally the call came and IT WAS GOOD NEWS. Yes, she could visit and stay up to a month for the cost of meals ($15 per day). My MIL will be staying with her sister for 3 weeks in January in sunny AZ!! She will be able to erase almost a month of Midwest Winter off her calendar!

I am nearly beside myself with joy! I am so afraid I will wake up and find out it is just a dream.

At first my MIL was just about jumping up and down (IF SHE COULD jump up and down) at the prospect of this trip. Now that her airline ticket has been purchased - she has changed her mind. She doesn't want to go. No doubt because she knows how much my hubby and I WANT her to go :0)

My dear hubby stepped up to bat and told his mother that unless she was dead or hospitalized - she WAS going to AZ and she WAS going to have a great time too! Is he great or what?

I almost hated to post this - because I know so many have it so hard and never ever get a break of any kind - let alone three weeks. But, you know, it doesn't happen often that we are cut a break!

I have found that even spending a few hours at the thrift store does wonders for my spirits. But THREE WEEKS without having to fret and worry at all about my MIL? I can barely contain myself!! I am smiling again ..................

I hope you all have found something GOOD in your day - even something much smaller or simpler. Sometimes it is hard to find anything at all to be grateful for - but we need to keep looking. I know what it is like to feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel too - been there and done that. Most of the time it is the little things that I appreciate. Good coffee, on one and only best friend's emails, my hubby 'fielding' for me with his mother, by soft memory foam pillow, a Blue Moon with and big orange slice in it. We have to take joy is the small stuff because most of the time there are no big things like this one.

Just this morning, we drank our coffee outside and it was such a pleasant start to our day. Try it - you'll like it too :0)

Please forgive me for posting this. I wish I could giver every one of you 3 weeks off too. If wishes came true - you would get to share my good fortune.

If this bubble bursts - I am afraid my sanity will be splattered all over the floor!!!

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I have one word for you and your hubby: ENJOY!
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My mom lives with me and my brother and I have finally started a regular schedule where my mom goes to his place for a long weekend....usually Friday until Tuesday every four to five weeks. I can't begin to explain how much I appreciate this time to myself.....my mind becomes so clear and I get a lot done! Some days I do nothing and that is also great! Some months I find myself looking at the calendar so I can "count down the days" until I get "me" time again! I love my mom but I also love me! ;)
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Well your post made me smile big! and youre so happy , how could that not seep into us??Im happy for you! Yesterday was the first time I actually got to leave and be gone for more than a few minutes...about 3 hours in fact..My husband said it was time to start getting out. So I had the honor of helping my granddaughter get ready for homecoming..oh she is beautiful. I SO MISS spending time alone with her. AND I found that one of those rotating mattresses really do work!!!!!!! I get to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!! MUCH NEEDED SLEEP!! OH JOY!!! no soars, no, not even pink. they are SO worth the expense. weeeeee!! there is happieness again! wish I would have not waited so long.
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We LOVE good news and respite for anyone of us is GREAT NEWS! Congratulations and enjoy every moment! Your hubby deserves a big hug, and anything else you give him in your 3 weeks of privacy! ;)
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I love this! What a wonderful policy, probably intentional, not to be cynical but, it is a great marketing tool for the facility! January in AZ would be wonderful. My mom needs friend like that!
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Maryanne56 is right: hearing about someone's good news leaping from a post does seep into us. We all need a lift now and then and, sometimes, another's joy can be ours. i love the idea of having a thread that shares positive things and joys.
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I feel better just reading your post, oldcodger. I often dream of one of my brothers taking my mother on a trip, so I could have some time just to myself. I know exactly how you feel. So glad that your hubby put his foot down when she tried to back out of the trip. I think it will do wonders for your MIL, too. It will make her feel like a free spirit jet setting across the sky again. WooHoooo!
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Many days, my 22 year old daughter drags my husband out for some adventure or other, leaving me ALL ALONE in a silent house. Yippee!

I volunteer as a tutor at the local HS, and my last three students thanked me very sincerely for helping them.

Just looking at my husband cooing and petting his beloved kitty brightens up most days. I might dread the future, but life right now is pretty tolerable.
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Thank you ALL for sharing. I just don't think anyone but a fellow care giver could possibly appreciate how I feel - that's why I thought about posting here. Usually I am posting something far less encouraging!

Another positive that we feel will come from this. She will know that ASL does not equal NH. She just 'may' (but we can only hope for so much) even participate in activities.

We had to laugh. She will have to pay $5 per meal. Mind you - DINNER is ordered from a MENU at this ALF :0) Served by fellows with chef's hats! This is not your run-of-the-mill ALF. She was complaining about $5 per meal.

I told her not to be ridiculous. Her Lean Cuisine's cost $3.50 each! We're talking gourmet quality meals for $5. I told her I could only HOPE to have a Spa type vacation at a 5 star ALF some day! :0) I wish I could share some of the food photos they have on their website. :0) Let's just say there is NO WAY she won't have a great time. Why can't she be as happy for us as we are for her? Guess that is asking too much.

Wishing you all a gorgeous sunset tonight............... Looks like ours is gonna be a beaut.
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Good news from Sonswife. We went away Friday and Saturday to attend the wedding of freinds' son, spent time with 4 couples who are very good friends, spent time with our son and his family, celebrated my birthday at a beautiful winery tasting great wine. Learned on arriving home on Saturday evening that my SIL had not come to visit my MIL at NH as planned because SIL was ill. The world did not end for my MIL when family wasn't present with her for the weekend, she was in a good mood when we picked her up for church on Sunday. Also, I switched to Extended Release Tramadol at bedtime (learned about it on a post here). It controls the pain I have from my fractured pelvis all night and I've slept all night two nights in a row!!!!
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Thanks for your uplifting post! I agree with you that even the little things like simply drinking a good cup of coffee can make a difference. Glad you are getting a break from all of the hard work that you do. Yes, sometimes there are "mini miracles", of things that do work out well.
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There is always time to hear positive things even from those who don't know they have them. I don't know all the things I have instore for me when I bring my mom home but, the one thing I look forward to is not leaving her when I visit that nursing home.
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Sleep - glorious sleep! Funny how we can face the world if we are adequately rested. That gets harder and harder, doesn't it? Sonswife - it sounds like you had a great wknd and so glad MIL managed well while you were away. :0) We do worry though, don't we?
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Just a bit of good news on this end. Have put off going for rehab for my shoulder - DUMB, I KNOW - but have finally started and I can tell it is getting better already. A long way to go yet (frozen shoulder :0( but I can see improvement and am FAITHFULLY doing my at home exercises in between actual PT sessions. So, things are looking UP a little. May actually be able to use my arm again :0) YIPPEE. It is so true that care givers have a bad habit of 'putting off' their own care. Sigh.

Hoping you are all enjoying some nice fall days. :0)
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Knowing that her short term memory is poor my mum asked me if she had "Old Timers disease" I said do you mean Alzheimers and she said "yes", I said no and I told her she had dementia.. she asked me if that was Italian..lol.
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Dementia = Italian! I love that! I call if 'Part Timers' - part of the time I can remember and part of the time I cannot. :0)
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GREAT to read GOOD NEWS!!!!!! Let's keep on sharing good stuff!
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I just have a small happy.. dad likes to be doing anything "helpful".. sometimes we run out of things for him to do. Today I got all the change out of all the places it lands. Had him sort it and stack it for me to take to the bank. He was busy for an hour and half.. and very pleased with the $50.oo results! Then Mom told me his caregiver brought over alot of cards and envelopes one day and had him sort them.. genius!!! I love the simple cure!!!
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I just have a small happy.. dad likes to be doing anything "helpful".. sometimes we run out of things for him to do. Today I got all the change out of all the places it lands. Had him sort it and stack it for me to take to the bank. He was busy for an hour and half.. and very pleased with the $50.oo results! Then Mom told me his caregiver brought over alot of cards and envelopes one day and had him sort them.. genius!!! I love the simple cure!!!
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Awwwwh, thanks for sharing the good news. Yeah for the plans and yeah for your husband for sticking up to his mom. I was just thinking how good a day I've had at work and I just shared it with a coworker, like, let's breathe this good day in.

I agree, drinking coffee outside and getting some fresh air is a great way to start the day and a life saver for me in our small home.

Get your calendar out & start marking the days!!! Woot
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My good thing is that in the past two weeks I've transitioned from crutches to cane, then to walking without a cane inside my house and just using a cane when I'm outside! I can do the stairs to my sewing room and am sewing up a storm. It is soooo good.
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Sometimes I feel differently during the day. For example, when I wake up, I feel "grumpy", but then my mood significantly improves from then on. Caregiving is indeed difficult, but at least we are busy (which is a good thing), and we are doing something that is necessary.
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Yay oldcodger! What a joy! You are so right.. The big things make us appreciate the little things..the quiet cup of coffee.. The sunrise/sunset...the little bit of outside time undisturbed. My wonderful hubby works away from home..when he does come home he takes the burden of caring for mom as much as possible. Yesterday ..I was able to take a nap and rest...last night, I just couldn't make myself get up to change moms undies..when I did get up a while ago..she was not soaked! Another happy as I would have felt very guilty and mad at myself and she would have been in distress..yay..good day so far..good attitude really makes difference.
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When my patient smiles, laughs, tells jokes or flirts with her husband is bittersweet... we all smile and laugh along with her quick wit, as its not like that all the time. Makes my day :)
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In 26 months of doing this there have been several nice things that have been done for me. The one that really sticks out above the rest was from the audiologist where my mom gets her hearing aids. When I first arrived, we had a problem with one not working. Not knowing the first thing about hearing aids then I took mom in to have them checked. Well guess what, one of them was plugged up with wax which disables the device completely. I felt a bit foolish, and it was one of the few times I had tears come to my eyes. A couple of months later, I had to take mom in for her yearly hearing test and worked with the same audiologist. She thought I looked tired and told me to watch the mail for something. She sent me a $100.00 gift card for a local spa, I was able to get a massage, facial, and even upgraded it with a manicure and pedicure. Just the thought that someone that barely knew me would do something so kind warmed my heart.
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My boss offered to pay my ticket to anywhere I wanted to go and also threw in a bonus to celebrate my 20th year in the company. I used my frequent flyer miles to pay for my older sister's ticket from Colorado to meet me in Hawaii. I used my credit card points to pay for 1 night's hotel expense. And the rest of my bonus on the rest of the hotel's cost. We had a very very relaxing time. Got rid of all the "touristy" stuff out of the way first thing (zoo, Bishop Museum, etc..) After that, all we did was walk, shop, eat and rest. Once I stepped on the plane, all thoughts and worries about father left my mind. I made sure I had everything covered before I left home. AND I did NOT leave my hotel's name nor did I bring my cell phone. If there's an emergency, they can deal with it. If they can't - call 911. I had a true relaxing, "boring" one week vacation! =)
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Wow!,,! Wonderful, just womderful. Someday I will go on some kind of trkp with my sister, as well. Awesome news. Happy dance for you!
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My good news starts with bad news......My tooth fell out. Front bottom. I knew it was coming, and I'm glad it's halloween week. I'm just keeping my witch hat on. I've neglected my teeth for years due to lack of money and FEAR. They are a mess and it's unhealthy, especially being allergic to most antibiotics.
My family is making a dream come true. I have a consultation tomorrow to get all the work I need done. It will also be nice to be able to smile from my heart again. Thanks for listening to my good news. Hope you get some soon!
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OldCodger, one of my daily thoughts for the day email - has something of what you had in mind here on this thread.

No Good thing is pleasant to possess, Without Friends TO SHARE IT.
by Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Last night I leveled with my husband that when we take a 100 mile trip to the VA, I didn't really like the restaurant we always stopped at for dinner afterwards. We'd been stopping there for three reasons -- it's near the VA, quiet; it had a dish he couldn't get near home; and for lunch on VA days we stopped at my favorite place, so dinner was his turn. ;-) He agreed! He said his dish was now available in the town near home which we visit every week. He agreed that on VA visits we'd go to the same restaurant for lunch and dinner -- my favorite, very nice and quiet, right on our way. – So that was good news, after a good talk.
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