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Father in law has been in nursing home for 7 years, his physical condition is advanced Alzheimer’s. He is restricted to the bed and cannot speak or attend to himself. When his wife, my mother in law, had to go into the nursing home it created a problem with Medicaid. Long story short, the facility is evicting him due to non-payment from Medicaid or not enough payment from Medicaid. They are telling me they are going to drop him off at my place of business because we are the only known family they can find. Can they do this? My wife and I do not have any power of attorney over him (his wife is the only one able to sign for him) but we are listed as the point of contact. They tell us because we are the point of contact he will be transported to the front door where I work and leave him. The people telling me this are from the nursing home, they are very rude and call all hours of the day and night demanding money. Because we are in personal bankruptcy we cannot hire an attorney at this time. Any suggestions?

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Contact social services, Adult Protective Services, report the threats. The nursing home needs to find appropriate care for them.
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What a nightmare!
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Wow,that’s terrible! I don’t think they can do that - sounds like a threat. Maybe the nursing home will file for state guardianship? If that happened to me, I would get the local media & shame them. 
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The NH threats might hold more water if they were threatening to drop FIL off at a hospital but dropping him off at your place of business?? I'm not sure who you'd check with regarding the legality of this but it seems very sketchy. Call Adult Protective Services, call any agency you can think of. If the NH follows through on this and your FIL is dropped off at your work he'll never get back in to the facility. The thing to do, if you can, is to prevent them from doing this but it sounds like you're not dealing with a reputable organization so all bets might be off as to which road to take.

Have you spoken to the social worker at the facility? I would contact the social worker immediately.

Find out if leaving your FIL at your work is legal or if it constitutes neglect or abandonment or something.

Here in St. Louis we have a phone number, 211, that if someone calls they are immediately connected with someone who can offer resources to all sorts of situations: low income families, mental health assistance, rehab, Meals on Wheels, etc. They might even have resources for free legal advice. Maybe your state has such a number?
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I’m assuming that this is a second marriage, so mil is not your mom, my suggestions are based on this. I’d suggest you be proactive & do 2 things & both sent certified mail with the return registered card (green postcard) from USPO abt $8.00 each:
- short 1 page letter to NH that states in P1: 
that Mary Jane Smith, wife of John Smith, is to your understanding - the DPOA for both medical and financial for John Smith (SS#1234566). As such all decisions regarding his situation at Shady Acres NH & Rehab should be directed to his wife, Mary Jane Smith, whose contact details are on file at Shady Acres. Should Mary Jane Smith be unable to provide the compliance needed for his continued stay at Shady Acres - which to your best understanding is under Medicaid LTC program - then Shady should contact Adult Protective Services regarding John Smith placement as a ward of the State of Panic.
Then P2: Persons representing themselves as staff of Shady Acres have contact me (& my spouse) both at my place of employment and at home with inflammatory language and threatening to “leave him at the door”. As such, any further phone calls will be recorded and this is your notification of this future action. Should follow through happen on this perceived threat, all actions will be filmed and sent to APS, State Dept of Health & Human Services Medicaid Division, Area on Aging NH Ombudsman Program and local media.
P3. Thank you for your attention to this. With your receipt of this letter, I consider this matter closed with no future communication or future contact from Shady Acres to happen. Sincerely, Louise Smith Reynolds
Make copies, cause you are going to attach it to the next letter...

Letter #2 - to Area on Aging NH Ombudsman. If your not familiar with them, it’s that every county in the US is within an Area on Aging. AoA are a program funded by your Council of Governments. Every state has at least 1 COG. Some states have several, like TX has abt a dz COGs. COGs are basically regional planning bodies that funnel/flow & determine federal, state, grants, corporate & private $$$ to various programs within your COGs footprint. AoA tend to be the biggest spend for COGs with full time staff. Most COGs have the NH Ombudsman program with staff under their umbrella. It’s your tax $ at work.
You can google AoA & “State of Panic XYZ county COG” to find addresses.
But back to letter #2: this is sent to your AOA.....
P1. Good Morning, This letter is regarding the situation of John Smith, a vulnerable elderly adult (put in his dob) residing at Shady Acres NH (put in full address). John Smith is my father who was married to my late mother June Garcia Smith (her DOD). He remarried Mary Jane Smith in 19?? and she is his DPOA and contact point for any financial &/or medical information. Please see attached certified letter sent to Shady Acres NH dated May 1, 2018.

P2. I cannot provide the level of skilled nursing care needed nor oversight required for John Smith. In addition, I cannot provide any financial assistance to him as I am currently in bankruptcy proceeding (put in the case #). As noted in my certified letter to Shady Acres, I am not his DPOA.

Persons claiming to be staff of Shady Acres NH in several phone calls to me over the past 123# of weeks has made what I consider to be threatening & intimidating phone calls as to “leaving your dad at the door of where you work”. This is an unacceptable action by any NH. I am asking AoA through whatever Ombudsman program or other senior health care oversight program to look into this behavior and the situation of John Smith at Shady Acres. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely.....

You really need to send each certified mail with return registered card. They have to sign the RRC and that’s a legal signature. By doing this your giving the NH notice and starts the clock ticking for what they can or cannot do. If they should contact you again, record the phone calls, you’ve notified them your going no to record phone calls, so your good to go no matter what your states laws are on taping conversations. 

If you want to be totally OCD, you can track the letter to Shady Acres via USPO tracking # on the receipt. The day or two AFTER letter is delivered, you can do a follow up by faxing the letter to Shady Acres. For the fax, this you send at a FedEx office store as their fax machines will provide a “transmission report”. The transmission report shows it was received by date and time and duration of transmission. So they were notified twice. If they still contact you tell them to stfu and pound sand.

I bet what has happened is that your mils family have washed their hands on anything of your fathers as he’s not their family. He’s just some guy their mom married..... So NH is totally screwed as they have no recourse from mil as she’s in her own “at need” situation. So NH casting casting a wider net and its you as his family. Problem is legally you are not responsible for him as you did not do his Medicaid application or paid for his copay or SOC (share of cost); he is still married to her, it’s her legal issue. Also I’d bet it’s a debt collector whose making the phone calls but implying they are staff of the NH. The NH can get off their duff and contact APS to get them involved in doing a emergency ward of the state action done so dad gets a court appointed guardian who can take over his finances (like his SS $). But that means NH has to let APS look at all their records - both billing and medical - in detail. If this is a less than stellar NH, they have all kinds of problems they don’t want exposed..... 
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They certainly can't do that, not unless your place of work happens to be a nursing home anyway; and the way you describe their behaviour makes me think that the people contacting you are NOT employees of the NH but much more likely from a debt collection agency.

Call the NH yourself and ask to speak to whoever's in charge of billing. Find out if the outstanding fees have been referred to an agency. Take it from there.
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What a nightmare for you! This is really over the top harassment.

You've gotten excellent advice from each of the posters. I have a few suggestions if the harassment continues, which I suspect it will.

1. Turn the Medicaid issue back on them and ask them to specifically advise you what the issues are, i.e., and specifically what the payment deficit is, what is required to stop this harassment and make the account whole (until you find someplace else), etc. Make them elaborate. They probably won't, but at least try to turn the tables on them.

2. Contact Medicaid and advise of the actions being threatened. I would think that Medicaid has certain standards, and threatening to dump someone off at a nonmedical facility wouldn't be acceptable to Medicaid. My concern first though would be that if the facility loses its Medicaid contract, other residents would be at risk, so I'd address that with Medicaid as well.

3. This is a more risky move, but if they continue to threaten to "dump him off", ask for a specific date and time so you can be prepared for him. Then call local tv stations and alert them. They'll probably jump all over this. And the facility will get some very, very bad publicity, and more than likely the publicity will start before the dropoff.

4. As Eyerishlass suggests, call 211. Now. And also ask if they can refer you to a pro bono attorney who can get injunctive relief, a TRO (temporary restraining order) preventing the facility from dumping your FIL at your workplace. BTW, are they planning to keep your MIL there or are they threatening to dump her off as well?

5. I think this is elder abuse; you might want to raise that issue not only when you call 211 but in a call to the local police department.

6. Also ask your bankruptcy attorney for advice; sometimes attorneys know other attorneys who can act quickly; even if you can't pay now, you might have to agree to a payment plan.

7. I agree with CM; I don't think these are nursing home employees but probably hired guns; they're skilled in harassment. This is also why following Igloo's advice with an immediate demand notice should be done ASAP.

8. If you have access to the admission documentation, check the name of the facility to see if there's a d/b/a, LLC or other ownership information included. Typically the state of incorporation would be included for an corporate ownership. Either search your state's website and find the corporate division; try to get the names of the owners of record, and their contact information. You may have to pay to get this information though.

My thought is to go above the local nursing home and contact the corporate office (assuming this isn't an individual facility but is part of a larger entity holding title) and notify them of this behavior, as well as the potential for public embarrassment if they drop off a vulnerable adult.

If your state has an elder law agency, or any agency dealing with vulnerable adults, contact it as well and ask for advice.

9. If you have a camcorder or video on your phone, and if others at your workplace do as well, be prepared to video the drop off and post it online so it goes viral. And threaten to do so. I wouldn't think any facility would want to be documented with a video showing them dumping off a vulnerable adult. The negative publicity would be overwhelming.

10. Is his wife able to be involved at all? Does she have any dementia that might prevent her from doing so? I'm assuming there aren't any assets in their family or they wouldn't be on Medicaid. Does your wife have any siblings who might be able to help out financially just until the situation stabilizes and another facility can be found?

One of my concerns is that a state guardianship or takeover might result from the situation, but I confess to having little knowledge of how this might play out. It wouldn't hurt to ask your bankruptcy attorney. Even if he/she isn't familiar with it, he/she might have attorney friends in this area who (as attorneys can do) give some brief, free advice.

I hope that you and your wife are able to have at least some quiet, peaceful moments while this horrible event is resolved.
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Thanks to everyone so much for the advice, obviously this is a very difficult time for us, so much over the affairs of our own and now with the FIL problem my wife has developed serious medical issues from the stress and the reason why I have become involved.
FIL is still married to MIL some 50 plus years. FIL has been at the same nursing home for 7 plus years. The problem started when the MIL was admitted to a long care facility (not the same one as the FIL). She was admitted to a long care facility around December 2017. Prior she had her own apartment and received a portion of FIL retirement and SS which she used to live on, no other assets exist. MIL has the sole legal say over the FIL, she is the only one with the ability to access information concerning either one of them.
The root of the problem is when the MIL went into a care facility I understand Medicaid stop payments to the facility the FIL was in. If the MIL was ever notified of this is a good question as she claims she did not have any knowledge of it and going through her mail and records I have yet to find anything. Due to the MIL deterring mental state it is unclear, but at the point, we are now I don’t see where it changes the present.
Along comes April and we receive the eviction notice and the phone calls start from the FIL nursing home. They claim monies is owned from November 2017 to present. When asked why we are just now hearing about this we are told they had a management problem and a new director has been hired who just discovered the error. So they have gone 5 some months without any money from Medicaid and are just now getting around to letting anyone know about it and they demand we pay the back amount or risk eviction.
I can see their point on this, no business can exist long without profit. I do feel they share some of the blame for not saying something months ago on this non-payment matter and now it has festered into a very large sum of money due.
The MIL continued to receive the retirement check and SS while in the care facility which appears she used to pay for medical bills she had prior to entering the care facility (in and out of the emergency room and hospital stays). She like most thought she would be able to go back home so she continued to pay the apartment rent and keep utilities on for when she returned. I believe the money she continued to receive while in the care facility is what the FIL nursing home is now claiming is owed to them (though what they say is owned and what she received don’t add up, again at this point does it really matter)?
I have spoken to the Ombudsman and they can only advise me to “work something out” with the care facility. The care facility wants all the past money paid.. Period! I have offered to see if I can have the MIL sign over her retirement and SS check, however, the monthly amount received falls short of what the FIL nursing home claims they are due monthly and of course does not come close to addressing the past due amount.
My wife helped her mother in the past with paperwork (the MIL hired an attorney to process the admittance of the FIL to the long-term care facility and set all this up) but she has never signed or agreed to be responsible for any of her parent's debts.
And that brings me back to my original question has anyone knowledge of a care facility dumping someone at a family’s members place of work? Obviously without the consent of the family member or the business owner?
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Your FIL has been a resident of this facility for seven years. He has advanced Alzheimers Disease. To transfer him anywhere would be seriously detrimental to his welfare. To transfer him to anywhere but an assessed safe place would be outright elder abuse. Not happening.

Bet you anything Medicaid made assumptions when MIL was placed that she and FIL were a package. It's a Medicaid error, isn't it? Go to MIL's place, get *all* the paperwork together, get on the phone to Medicaid and retrace the steps right back to November. Then call FIL's NH, tell them what you've found out, and - spit-spit-spit, God willing, fingers crossed - that will be that Medicaid will be correcting the faults.

The "we'll drop FIL off at your office" thing is a threat to frighten you into moving him. What kind of place of work is it? - office, workshop, factory? But in any case this is bullying, almost amounting to demanding money with menaces, aka blackmail. Make a formal complaint.

If, unbelievably, they actually did do that..!!! Call the police. If they've removed the man from his home without the knowledge or consent of his next of kin (MIL), the only person with authority to make decisions on his behalf, you could arguably call it abduction.
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Pure harassment these people are debt collectors, What are they going to do wheel FIL to your wife's place of work in his bed. I bet they have no idea of his condition. Should they do that immediately call 911 for police and ambulance and take him to the nearest ER and press charges against the perpetrators.
Medicaid has a history of being slow so i expect it is an error on their part. Have you contacted them?
You have received excellent advice on your next steps so go ahead and follow them and try not to let this take over your life. Nobody has any money so there is nothing for the debt collecters to get their grubby little hands on. The NH may be really nasty or just following proceedure to hand over unpaid accounts for collection after a certain time and the debt collectors pulled this major frightener out of their box of tricks. There is no end to the evil in this world. Luckily FIL won't understand any of this and your wife has no responsibility unless you are in a state that does make children responsible for their parents. Sorry i don't know which Staes have those laws
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They sure sound like debt collectors. Wonder if it is even real, maybe a scam of some sort? Contact the facility directly and tell them about the calls you have been receiving. Maybe they are not even aware of this tactic.
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Texas does not have a filial responsibility law. (reading up on Google for that one)
I am a truck driver at a trucking company.
Yes for sure the calls are from the NH. I made the offer I spoke about turning over the MIL income offer to the administrator. She was nice and sounded like she would like to resolve this issue. She told me she could not make the decision but would discuss it with her superiors and let me know. I received a message at work to return her call, hoping she had some positive answers I returned her call only to be told she was out and the man on the phone started in on me about the delivering FIL to my workplace threats.
I don't usually get upset but I told him to let me know when to expect him as I would have the police and fire rescue present. He told me they would be there Monday and they have done this before and then he hung up the phone.
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Redimix,, good for you on telling them you would have the police there, and I agree with others who said to call the news/paper ( depending on whats available in your area) We had a case here in the Baltimore area where a hospital discharged a woman into the snow in her gown,, and it did not go well.. made national news. It is not even Your father.. how can they drop him off on you? What if you were out on a delivery and no one was there?
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I wonder who the man on the phone was... did you get his name?
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Hmmm, if they drop him off, call 911 and have him taken to ER. Make sure he is checked for signs of abuse/neglect so that charges can be brought against NH.

In addition to all the good advice above, I'd check if the Goveror's office has someone who specifically deals with issues if the aging. Also State Attorney General.
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This is pure harrassment. Please please please make notes of who called, dates & time, as well as any facility personnel you have spoke with. Jot down a synopsis of your conversation and their responses before you forget what was discussed.
If indeed they deliver your FIL to your job (which is ludicrous to me- an idle threat) call 911 to get him to an ER. 
When I hear incidents like this, my blood boils. It’s disgusting to hear the lack of respect and bullying from this debt collector. And this is indeed bullying. 
I am not an attorney so can’t give you advice but often the truth prevails. It just takes months of stressful moments on you- the person trying to do the right thing. 
I am so very sorry you are being subjected to this. I don’t think they can legally just drop him off at your job. You have rights as well. I think this can be interpreted as abandonment on the NH end. I think the debt collectors have crossed a line here. 
I wish I knew how to tell you to proceed, but to begin,please document dates,etc as above first. 
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In my opinion, in no way are you responsible for his debts. That being said, you aren't required to go dig through all the paper work and figure out what went wrong. That should be both medicaid and the nursing home's job. You don't need the stress. If they dump him off at your work, it seems to me they can be arrested for abuse of an elder person. They also can get huge fines to pay for harassment. Keep telling them that you are not responsible and if they drop him off you will call protective services and put them in jail. You could just block their number or don't answer but I would suggest continuing to talk to them just so you can record it so you have proof of what's going on.
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This is not an answer to your question, but it strikes me that your FIL must be terrified. I would wonder what kind of treatment he is getting at such a facility.

I wish you the best with this terrible situation.
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jeannegibbs May 2018
Let us hope the screw-ups in the office are not also reflected in the care provided. They can be completely separate things. Let's hope they are in this case!
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I’m in hopes that everything work out for the best for your Dad, bureaucracy is a killer in our country! I want to say commenter igloo572, You Rock, as the elderly increase in numbers we need no less than a million people like you!!!
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i would not let them stay there anymore you should relocate them to 2 different places & get them in a better place the place they are in //reminds me of when my mom was in one for rehab.. the only thing i liked about it was it was close ..they act kinda like A holes to they would not tell me what they give her for her medicine ..well i found out a week later .& they was at fault ..they complain about how she got up at night wandering we duh you didnt give her what she was to be on ..got to watch them they will perscribe the meds according to what is best for them & i bet to hold cost down to
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MIL was entitled to some of FIL's income while she was a community spouse. That would end when she was in a care center, and no longer in the community. She continued to receive the money and spend it on debts. Very understandable. How was she supposed to know she was no longer entitled to it? They sent it and she spent it. But I bet that is the source of the Medicaid problem. Can you find out her case worker? Talking to someone at Medicaid to discuss how to straighten this out might be a good idea. However you might be better off just denying any responsibility for your in-laws, as Igloo suggests. Being a "contact person" does NOT make you financially responsible.

There is always an appeal process when Medicaid turns something down. If you never got the denial of payment notice you would not see the directions of how to appeal. And why would you get the denial notice? You have no responsibility for MIL or FIL.

The fact that the facility had a management problem is not your fault and not an excuse for their mistakes.
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I will concur with the others. THEY CANT DO THAT! It constitutes abuse and would definately result in a medical malpractice lawsuit. They are a medical care facility. They are not allowed to move anyone anywhere unless the person is getting appropriate care. IT must be documented as such. Call the local news station and have them investigate. That would change things fast. Also, call the local Aging organization and report them.
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If in Florida, also report to AHCA, Agency for Health Care Administration. I am unsure if they have this agency in other states.
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Oh, and please keep us updated on your situation as it develops, so that other suggestions can be offered but the ones everyone else has listed sound like good sound advice. Also, is there any possibility of the MIL and FIL being in the same facility?
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Jeanne, good and succinct synopsis of how this situation probably developed.
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Oh, I had another thought on this. I know you said you were having your own financial issues and could not afford an attorney, but what about the free legal care / pro bono / like a public defender -type of assistance?
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This is such a nightmare, I am so sorry you and your wife are dealing with this. As if caregiving alone isn't hard enough?

I know you said you cannot afford to hire a lawyer right now, but there are agencies that can provide legal aid at no cost to you. Call your local United Way agency and ask them if they can refer you to legal aid. I know our United Way here has this. Make sure to document every single interaction, phone call, etc with the NH and their hired guns. Keep every email and letter regarding this matter. If you can record a phone conversation of them harrassing you, threatening to leave the FIL at your wife's work, do so - most smartphones have a little recording function. Go back to when this started and date everything of when it started and when MIL went into NH and where Medicaid may have dropped the ball. Get it all organized and in writing. Hopefully, you can get the free legal aid and then go from there.

This is elder abuse for sure. Good luck, please keep us updated.
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I have only read o few responses, one of which advises setting up payment plan, NO DO NOT AGREE TO PAY, PERIOD. You nor wife are responsible for the bill, unless you agree and set up pmt plan. There is a law about releasing vulnerable people that ensure there is a safe release plan in place. Tell them that you and your home are not safe, period. You do not have to explain.

Get the name, contact number and title of the person calling and then inform them that there calling you at work has endangered your job and if they do not stop calling and you loose your job because of the harassment you will sue, there is a law that addresses people being harassed at work.

My friends sister became ill because of the stress a bill collector put her under and was awarded 3 million in damages and she owed the bill, which you DO NOT.

Please do not say anything that will make them think you are responsible ie we'll make payments, looking for another place etc. Direct them to the Medicaid number and MIL .

Good luck, like dealing with this isn't hard enough you have to deal with A-holes to boot.

Oh, this is a fishing expedition, that's why it has taken so long, it is not the NH calling their admin doesn't work all hours of the night, they know you are not responsible, they turned it over with his entire record and that's why the calls. Turn phone off at night to get a good night's sleep.
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This sounds like tactics of a collection agency especially all sorts of hours - have you talked to NH directly - start recording these threats in case you need it later & a cell phone can due this - let them know you are recording & they will start to behave but first get the name of who is talking to you because that will be on the recording - also make note of any phone numbers that you can see on call display
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Yes they can do it. Under the new budget plan, which Trump signed Medicaid is being drained. It’s the first to go. Then there doing away with Medicare. How you vote has everything to do with what happens. People didn’t pay attention. He’s draining Medicaid. It’s called pay-go look it up. It has to do with the budget. I hope for the best for all going though this.
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