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I left my job about 2 weeks ago; DH is working 3 days a week and home for 4 at the moment. He loves to cook. Trouble is, he's a SLOB. In capital letters. Today he is taking a cooking class online and has been prepping for it for 2 days. My kitchen looks like a bomb hit it. Every bowl, every appliance, every utensil, it's all over the counters, the kitchen table, he even has a laptop lying on a stool in the middle of the room. The dog is in heaven because being a slob translates to lots of snacks for her! My hot dog is starting to look more like a knockwurst on a daily basis!


He is driving me crazy with all this cooking! Because it leaves me to do the REAL cleaning up afterwards. This morning, I was woken up to the stench of smoke coming off the grill on the deck. Wafting through my open bedroom window. He was cooking breakfast before the 10:30 am cooking class!


I told him the next few days there is a MORATORIUM on cooking! And a respite from kitchen cleaning for ME.


How's being cooped up together working for YOU? Let's share a laugh or two, I think we all need it!

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Just sharing some sweetness. My 97 year old mother informed my niece, her granddaughter, she was going to church, my niece explained to my mom the churches were closed. She replied "who are they to tell me I can't go to church"! before the pandemic we were attended church every Sunday and now watching the services on TV.
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My husband retired December 1, 2019 and I’m still working. I work the overnight shift at the post office, so really not much has changed here. Although since he retired he has been cooking more. He likes cooking. We’ve been married a long time so he taught me how to cook years ago. I still try and get him to cook. I’ll say something like I don’t know how long to leave it in the oven, what should I put the timer on? What temperature should I set the oven? He will finally come out in the kitchen and say never mind, I’ll do it. I just smile and tell him the food tastes better when he cooked it, which it true. Even when my kids were little my oldest child would say who made dinner tonight? I said I did. My son said next time let dad cook it, lol.
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Riverdale Apr 2020
When I see a post from you I wonder how your mother is faring under these present circumstances?
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When I retired we moved my husbands computer downstairs to an extra room in the basement. It is now considered the man cave. I took over a bedroom now considered the den. We have them linked by an Amazon dot if we need to communicate lol. Actually in the mornings we watch the news in the den as we eat breakfast. Then I walk over to my parents to get mom up (morning meds in bed, exercise moms arms and legs in bed) help mom stand and walk straight out from the bed so I can place the porta pot behind her, after transfer to wheelchair for breakfast, brush moms teeth and then use hoyer lift to get mom in the recliner. Then walk back to my house around noon for lunch, I go into the den to watch a movie, sew, crochet or play an online game. Hubby is sometimes in the den at this time, but most the time he is out doing yard work or in the man cave. Around 2pm its back to the parents to fix them a late lunch, again stand mom, help mom walk away from the recliner place porta pot behind her, transfer to wheelchair for lunch, then use hoyer lift to get mom back in the recliner. Do some laundry or cleaning. (let all the helpers go due to Covid) fix dinner for the parents, toilet mom, brush her teeth and get mom back in her recliner with a hoyer lift. Walk home and have dinner with hubby, he goes down to the man cave, I catch up on email, Facebook and recorded TV show. Evening time walk back to parents, Give mom meds, (brushed teeth after dinner) Do toileting, get mom ready for bed. Hoyer lift into the bed. Bring up laundry or empty dishwasher. Lock up dads house say good night and walk home. Next morning repeat. Until covid passes I don’t have to worry to much on hubby and I driving each other crazy. My husband is actually pretty good. I do cook for us, fill the dishwasher, dust, sort the laundry and put the laundry away. Hubby empties dishwasher, does laundry, vacuums and cleans the bathrooms. Prior to covid the man cave came in handy for us to have some he/she time.
There are days we take walks together sometimes alone. We are lucky to leave in a pretty established, quiet, off the beaten path non HOA neighborhood. By established I mean most the residents on our street have lived there since the late 60’s two homes have older children that have moved back to help their parents. One home built an in-law suite or their parents. Most of us have known each other since the late 60’s. Two homes turned over owners in the early 80’s. We talk from our homes if we see others outside. Everyone is wearing their mask. We are surviving and keeping tabs on each others well being. Wishing everyone the best during this time. Time and life march on to a different beat now a days.
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xrayjodib Apr 2020
Kaleybug,
You're amazing!!
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What is driving me crazy in my house is my wife having to talk about Trump all of the time and her watching the news about the virus and him all of the time, even online, plus she's reading these strange books about how the world will end because of a plague and comments how much they sound like today. I don't understand her obsession with Trump and these apocalyptic books about how the world will end.

In great contrast, her identical twin sister is not like this at all and we can have intelligent conversations about other subjects in life which is so refreshing.
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KaleyBug Apr 2020
It could be stress and her way of coping or rationalizing it.
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Each person needs their own space in the house or yard. You can't be tethered to each other, lest you go off the rails.
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One of my favourite commentators is bored out of his mind. This is the result, hope the link works, enjoy!

https://www.facebook.com/183533118366522/posts/2856907264362414/?vh=e&d=n
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Oh, that's a cute video! And I learned a new word: Commentate. Who knew? He sounds Scottish, the commentator..?
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What is it about men and having to use every bowl, pot & pan when they cook! My husband & son are the same way. Currently my husband (UPS Tractor Trailer Driver) and I (Contract Supervisor for a Social Service Agency) are both still working. Grown son is home with us after a relationship breakup. We’ve always used the rule that if you cook the rest of the family has to cleanup. Son has been fairly good about taking that role on himself since Dad & I are both working, Dad works nights and I’m off to the office all day. So the other night I was having some back problems after work and asked son to cook. Before he started he made sure DW was empty and loaded with any new dishes. Simple meal – Steak on the grill, canned veggie and instant mashed potatoes. Should have been two bowls to heat the sides in the microwave and the plate for the steaks aside from dinner dishes. Nope we had a couple pots and then serving bowls and extra plates for I’m not sure what. When he saw what his previously clean kitchen looked like he commented that now he understands. Not as bad as his father, when he gets in the kitchen I usually leave the house.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
I KNOW! I have to stay OUT of the kitchen entirely when DH is cooking, it's THAT bad in there!!!
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My hubby is a gadget guy. He spends hours lovingly tinkering, and sometimes fixing things for me. He spends more time with his toys than me. However, we are blessed to be healthy and he is still working 30 hours out of the house. I wish I was working but jobs are scarce now.
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Lealonie1,
Girl you made me giggle!!
I know this is a hard one, but you sound like me! I have discovered if I don't clean up my hubby's pots and pans, HE has to wash them if he wants to use them!!
Let's face it, no one is gonna come for a visit!
Go soak in the tub and paint your nails girl!!
God bless!!
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Covid test neg so can have my life of drudgery - oops I mean freedom back!

DH wanted to dismantle the 'pod'. No No No I may need it again...
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xrayjodib Apr 2020
Great news Beatty!!
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Tekkie and Lealonnie,

Isn’t it interesting how different our animals personalities are? My greyhound had the sweetest laidback personality. They are often described as more cat like than a dog. They are shy, aloof and independent. They are affectionate but not clingy.

Greys are lazy couch potatoes that rarely bark. Very quiet, sweet dogs. My grey stole my heart.

My cats were sweet and laid back but one of my kitties did go wild at Christmas one year. She climbed my Christmas tree and shook off all of the ornaments! LOL.

She loved to hide places. One cold morning I opened up my nightstand drawer to get a pair of socks out to wear.

I left the drawer open for a bit. I came back to the room and quickly shut the drawer not noticing that my kitty was curled up in the drawer.

Later I kept hearing her meow. I couldn’t find her. Then I figured out the sound was coming from the closed drawer. When I opened it, she popped out like a jack in the box!

My schnauzer was my craziest animal though. She did not know that she was a little pooch and had such a big personality! Very yippy yappy watchdog! They were bred to be ratters in the castles in Germany. So, they are tough little dogs! Sweet but very spirited!

Don’t have any animals now. I miss them but I do have allergies and asthma and it’s best if my house is animal free. I love them so much. They add so much to our lives but can keep us on our toes too.
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Beatty Apr 2020
They all sound adorable. I've always wanted a cat but am also too allergic. My DH had dogs growing up but our yard is too small. He has always befriended the closest dogs whever we've lived & he currently walk the neighbours dogs instead.

The little schnauzer disgraced him last week when he cocked his leg & weed all over car keys & a drink bottle stowed in the grass by a couple exercising nearby. They saw it & laughed their heads off.
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My female cat is driving me bonkers... I'm teleworking in my home office and every morning at 11:00 she comes in and sits and meows at me... because she wants me to play with her cat dancer. ALL. DAY. LONG. Until I wrap up around 4.

It's good to get up and move, but this is nuts... she's 12 years old (roughly 64 in human years) so should be sleeping or gardening or doing whatever retirees living a comfortable lifestyle do. My husband has been retired for 2 years but he ignores her. Our male cat sleeps and eats, that's the extent of his activity.

What a wonderful problem to have, though!
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Tekkie.........my weenie dog has been sitting on my lap or sleeping on my face for weeks now! When DH is home, she's on HIM like white on rice, too! Kind of cute, but kind of irritating at the same time
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EVERYBODY!!! I really wish today I was on a island by myself soaking up some sun drinking a glass of Merlot with a good book! Even my poor cats are getting on my nerves!!

Sorry for venting!😣
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
I'd like to join you, if you don't mind company!
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Oh, and did I say, last week he burned the oatmeal.
I think it was so he would not have to cook at all, not ever.

This week, he has tried the "I'm not hungry" excuse. Until I cook it alone, serve it alone, then he decides he is hungry.

I guess it is the 3 meals a day that I am getting tired of preparing.
But I should not complain. The food is good, and at least we have some!
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xrayjodib Apr 2020
Sendhelp,
If you can, YouTube Jeff Dunham's
video with Walter!
Walter says "It's not OK to kill your spouse ".
It's a good laugh!!
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Thinking of slapping him upside the head, into next year.
Just like they do on NCIS, when Gibbs slaps DiNozzo.

But I am not a violent person.

Really, we are doing GREAT!

But last night about 10 p.m., I suggested we put a time limit on arguing. So, we argued about what time that should be. 🤦‍♀️
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
DH just now told me he 'loves me very much but your cheese has slid off of your cracker' in response to my ideas about what's going on in the world right now. Personally, it's HIS cheese that's slid off the cracker, not mine. So let the arguments begin! :)
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My husband is working from home in the home office. He closes the door. I don’t bother him. He’s not under foot with me so it’s not much different during the day.

We do eat lunch together which is nice. We are cooking together more for dinner. All in all, things are going well.

He grills quite a bit. Love that! I do some side dishes.
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Lealonnie1, I hear you about cleaning up the kitchen. It's frustrating when it takes longer to clean the kitchen than it does to eat the meal.

I was often reminding my boys to put their dishes in the dishwasher. No amount of nagging seemed to penetrate! I made them stop whatever they were doing to put the plate away but that didn't work either. Frustratingly, my hubby is the nice parent and just does it for them.

A few years ago, I got fed up and served the kid's dinner on the dirty plates from the sink. (I wasn't too worried about getting them sick). They didn't realize they were eating on dirty plates until they eaten down to the stuck on food from the previous meal. They were grossed out and mad at me (including hubby). I told them to expect it again if they didn't put their dishes in the dishwasher. It has improved so I was willing to be #$% Mom for a night.

With the kids home more now, I am teaching them how to cook. At first, they all blanched at touching raw meat. Wimps! They've gotten better about that and are more appreciative of the effort it takes to get a good meal on the table.

As the sign on my kitchen wall says, "M is for Mother, not for Maid."

FYI...My MIL gave me that sign just after I got married. Hubby and I were nowhere near ready for kids. My dad made a sign to give my MIL..."C is for Condom, not for Child"

Thanks for the laughs, they are helping!
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
HILARIOUS!!! Thank you for brightening my day Metoo!!
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Well I shouldn't admit it but I have enjoyed today: iso day #1

Was exposed to a person at work who is now awaiting the swab test so instructed to self-isolate at home until results back. Like on my own but 4 of us in the house - with 3 bedrooms. So yesterday I phoned DH from the car & told him. After he FREAKED OUT he got his me-man-me-fix-it on - rearranged the furniture & now I live in the Cov-Pod. It has the camping matts, a tv viewing hole, my computer & best of all: wine & coffee are delivered! I had my meals provided on the deck. Waving to the family through the glass doors as I ate in peace listening to the birds. I mask up to put my dishes into the DW, then back outside or the pod. No housework, no cooking, just reading & music.

My kids asked if I was lonley or sad 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes of course sweeties I miss you all.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
OMG the cov-pod!! LOVE IT! No housework or cooking, just reading & music, tv from a viewing hole,and delivered wine & coffee. Sounds heavenly!
All joking aside........stay well, dear one, and I hope your co-worker's test comes back negative and all turns out well for both of you.
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As far as my husband goes, he does sometimes follow me from room to room but he has done this since he retired last year.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Men are lost without jobs sometimes, aren't they? :(
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I don't like the condo we live in...factory noise that was not there when we bought it..it drives me nuts so I use earplugs and only work in the flower garden on weekends. Look forward and dream of the day we can move out of state to sunny warm place. This noise was hidden by woods and this place was not cheap. Running air cleaners in the house drowns it out. If you buy a home now always consider you may get trapped in it, so investigate your surroundings carefully. I have seen people spend more time picking a car than they do a home.
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MargaretMcKen Apr 2020
Yep, check at night (parties), early morning (zoom to work down the empty street at 5am), day time (factory noise), evening rush hour, and week end (enthusiastic lawn mowers, chain saws etc). I remember a woman saying that locals were being unreasonable about the ramming noise from a big bridge being built over the river, saying 'after all it stops on the weekend). No it didn't, she was spending the weekend at home in the next town 30 kms away.
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A big shout out to lealonnie!! I tried your recommended solution to my problem for my very dry cracked and very sore hands. UNBELIEVABLE!! I put the olive oil and coconut on my hands last night, put gloves on and waited half hour. Washed my hands as usual. Got up this morning and completely healed, no redness, no dry and cracked skin, and small cuts healed. Thank you so much you made my day!!!!
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Yay! So glad my tip was helpful for you!
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Lealonnie,

Your husband is the creative type. I love it! He wants to create. He needs a flunky to prep and clean up after him and things would work out great for him! LOL You need a Rosie the robot like on The Jetsons! I want a Rosie!

I must admit that I can totally relate to your husband! I am the creative type and I don’t care if I make a mess as I go.

I clean it up as soon as I am done cooking. I am getting better and trying to clean as I go. But I fully admit it is not in my nature. I play music to make the cleaning more enjoyable.

I do clean and I am a germ freak. I never cross contaminate! Ever! Also, If someone would try to take a bite out of a pot and place the spoon back in the pot that they ate from I would freak out! Oh, hell no! My children learned NEVER to do that. hahaha 😂

Take a sample to taste by serving a small amount in a separate bowl and put that spoon in the sink afterwards, certainly not back in the pot!

My anal and extremely organized engineer husband is quite the opposite of me. He cleans as he goes. Plus he is a great cook to boot! His mom made sure that her sons could cook because their dad could not cook at all!

My husband makes a great cocktail too. He was a bartender during his college years. I ordered a drink from him and the rest is history!

I like cooking together with my husband when he keeps his mouth shut about my mess! LOL

He hates cooking with me because while he appreciates my creativity and great cooking, he is the one that feels like I am the slob!

So, he volunteers to be my flunky when I cook but he is so slow with prepping! I can run circles around him and told him if I owned a restaurant and he was the prep cook, I would fire him! Hahaha.

Oh, but he is the precise engineer and it is prepped perfectly! So, I have learned to bite my tongue and be grateful.

You don’t want to be in the same room if we try to load the dishwasher together. Oh my gosh, Mr. Perfect has is aligned just so! I could care less how I load the dishwasher as long as the dishes come out clean. He will actually rearrange the dishes if I don’t do it the way he likes.

I drive him crazy. It’s a good thing he loves me! We each have our quirks. We are each laid back in some areas and drive each other nuts in other areas. We are different but somehow together we work. On the 22nd of this month we are married 42 years!

You should see my cabinets. Everything is so perfectly straight when he puts the dishes away Hahaha He gets carried away.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Listen.....it is NOT easy to live with a slob! But you clean the house and my DH does not. He leaves his socks on the floor. All his clothes are inside out when and if they make it into the washing machine! Last year I told him to please STOP leaving his clothing for me to launder inside out, and that if he did, I'd fold them and put them away INSIDE OUT. And I did. So guess what? He wore his shirt to work INSIDE OUT one day!! The crew had a huge laugh and he was red in the face!!
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My DH is working from home going on 3 weeks now. He was going to the AFB where he is working, basically, all alone in a huge warehouse, so they deemed it safe for him. Then his boss' boss found out and blew a head gasket. DH is a liver transplant recipient of 14 years and pretty healthy--but the "big guy" decided it was too dangerous to have him out in the 'field'. Which he technically was, but came home every night.

Now he has taken over the office with 3 monitors and daily conference calls. He stopped shaving and now has a full beard. Needs a haircut and is starting to look like a wolverine :)

I am still recovering from chemotherapy and developed shingles about 10 days ago--just beyond miserable and he did step up and help a little. I was scratching like crazy and bleeding from some of the blisters and he was nice- trying to find something to stop the itching. (Gabapentin did the trick, that and cortisone cream!) He actually went to the feed store and bought a spray that the use on horses when they get tick-bit. It helped for about 10 minutes.

Today he soaked in the tub for 5 hours. Then he ate dinner and went to bed. I'm trying to give him space but I have my routine and he's kind of in the way :)

This whole thing has been a good learning experience for us--he is retiring next year and then going to work on contract for the same company. Now we KNOW that he has to have a separate space for work--we can't share an office! Plus we're stuck here together and I am finding that I am going to have to really work hard at having him around all the time.

I laughed at the guy who is cooking. My DH can nuke a hot dog or fry eggs, but that's it. He is truly amazed that I can whip up a whole meal in an hour or less--something he truly could never do. He's very impressed that all the dishes are ready at the same time. When he cooks for the family, he cooks ONE thing. If we're having BBQed salmon, that is ALL we have, no sides, just a hunk of salmon. It's easier to laugh at the silliness than waste time being annoyed and angry. (although I admit to being crabby at times. I still don't feel 100% better and won't for a bit).

And, no, he does not clean up. I am happy if his dishes get into the DW. Lowering my expectations really helped :)
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
The FEED STORE for HORSE SPRAY? Good Lord.......ONLY a MAN would do such a thing!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully he found something for himself to treat prune skin from soaking for FIVE HOURS IN A TUB! :(
I'm sorry you have the effing shingles on top of everything else....they are awful. When my mother has her episodes of chronic itching, we've found that Dermoplast spray works fairly well for about an hour (numbs the area).
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Lealonnie, too funny. Maybe he will turn out to be a good cook, I would hate to clean the mess up, though. I had a good laugh over this,
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
I had sent him for cooking lessons early on after he moved in, so he's a pretty good cook & loves doing it. It's just the clean up that's horrible! LOL. But hey, can't have everything, right? :)
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My niece keeps accidentally touching my clean hands, and then off I go to wash them again, This happens at least 10 times a day while turning, changing, and getting my mom on the commode. Very aggravating. My hands are like sand paper. She laughs about it.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
I use a combo of olive oil & coconut oil for my hands, and it works pretty well.
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Neither husband for me was much of a cook (current DH can’t even boil water, but good at repairing tractors). My rules have always been that he/she who cooks also cleans up, which covered teenager daughters as well. Otherwise it really really isn’t that much of a helping gesture. Personally I wouldn’t cook anything more until DH cleans up the kitchen.

DH isn’t getting on my nerves here, but he spends most of the time in the shed (eg being good at repairing tractors). I’m lonely! I’m spending much too much time on this site – thanks everyone! I’ve nearly finished cleaning out the cupboards. Yes I too had too many cans of beans (that joke made me laugh), rotties in the back of the fridge (I hope I’m not going to be reported to APS local equivalent for putting DH at risk, as suggested in another thread), and various odds and ends from past suggestions from people I can no longer remember. Last night I cooked Moghrabieh, a Lebanese dish with ‘pearls’ like couscous, but taking much longer to cook. It was really nice, in spite of the slightly worrying ‘best before’ date on the pearls of 2010. Heh, there are grains in tombs in the Pyramids lasting for a lot longer than that, and it was all OK. We are all going through a crash course in being adaptable. Perhaps set exams for your DH, Lealonnie!
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Oh well, it was a thought.....
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lealonnie, so funny! And so familiar..... my hubby is such a good cook, though, that when he's home I give way and let him.... yum! Been working on training him to clean as he goes, and he's much better - would that work at your house?
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
Nothing seems to work in the cleaning up properly dept.....lol
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Yelling to a hard-of-hearing person is so HARD, I know!! My mother is mostly deaf and when I have to raise my voice, she accuses me of HOLLERING!

The idea of this thread is to voice silly complaints. Things are tough all over, esp in NY, I know. It's okay to laugh though, because everyone is sure crying enough lately, right?
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MargaretMcKen Apr 2020
I just posted more tips on communication on the 'Hearing' article on Care Topics. CM messaged me that they were good, which is like getting a distinction with honors! Have a look.
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My husband has the news on all the time. I want to hear it but if I decide to read it is hard to focus over the TV. So far all the second hand books I ordered have not been enthralling so I don't feel like sequestering myself to read them. He is becoming hard of hearing so I have to shout and then he tells me I sound shrill. Also when I get agitated my enunciation is worse since I still have numbness from my jaw issues which are all on hold moving forward.

As silly as my complaints may be my friends in NY are really freaking out. I went out first thing this morning to mail one friend who has tested positive some food items. Others are on edge understandably which at times makes them not really understanding a point and sort of losing it. It is really bad there and this is about 40 miles from NYC. Supplies of alot of food running out and delivery services are becoming unreliable.
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KaleyBug Apr 2020
My friend from NY calls often, she is so worried and you can hear the apprehension. Then she says this can’t keep going on like this or we will become a socialist country, they have to lift the restrictions soon. I said for now I am fine staying put, I prefer the order to stay put then getting the illness. I feel her her though she is in one of the hot spots. Our county has a lot of cases, but our zip code only 13. We have been lucky so far.
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