Why am I so tired and yet I can't sleep?

Benedryl winds you up?? If I take one of those I'm out for the night and half the next day LOL. I take melatonin, that helps me to sleep and I don't get that foggy headed thing in the morning. I've also heard that cherry juice (I know, it sounds kind of gross has melatonin in it and is supposed to help people unwind and get to sleep. So does milk of course. There was one over the counter natural sleep aid that I was taking called MidNight. That works pretty well for me and my Mom. Also, I've tried the thing where you lay in bed and tell yourself you have to stay awake and focus on something. That puts me to sleep as well. Good luck & sweet dreams!!

Have you tried tart cherry juice? It has a natural ingredient in it that relaxes you. Also there is melatonin. How about the method of tensing and relaxing each muscle group slowly starting at your feet and working your way up.

I personally would avoid ambien. I've heard that people sleep walk when they take it and it is also addictive.

I know what it is like to have trouble sleeping. In my case I can't turn my mind off at night. Anxious thoughts running through my mind. I like to read before I go to bed. It winds me down for the night. GoodLuck!

Yes, benadryl does give some people an extreme, almost amphetamine-like speed rush, heart palpitations and accelerated heart beat, etc, Others get knocked-out right away. Strange the same drug could have such opposite effects, but that it does! You can't sleep because you are so tired and have probably gone so long without good REM sleep that your system can't adapt and shut down for good sleep. You will probably need to make major changes in your lifestyle and eliminate or at least control the stress in your life. As you know, caregiving makes that almost impossible, so you're probably going to have to use a medication, and be forewarned - you will become dependent upon it, you won't be able to sleep without it, and it will be hell getting off of it. Been there, done that.

Yeah zookeeper you are probably right but I would exhaust all natural possibilities before going to prescribed medication cause they are addictive.

I suffer from insomnia and night terrors (so bad that sometimes I faint). I've tried all the medications, and found that none worked. My solution has been listening to guided meditations as I fall asleep, and sounds of water, or waves while I am asleep. You can go to youtube and search for guided meditations. I find that TheHonestGuys have the best ones.

Angel

glasshalffull, I wonder if you can't sleep because you are staying with your mother to help her being she is 90.... are you sleeping with one eye open?

Benedryl will give me a great night sleep, but I found out I can't take that pill during the day for allergies, then another at night to sleep because in the morning things will seem strange, like everything is enhanced... it was pretty weird.

I agree with Gershun, try to avoid ambien. My sig other uses that pill and he said he is fine while taking it, but I think he is in denial about the side effects.

Just very recently I have stopped eating chocolate, oh my gosh that is so hard to do... I have noticed I am now sleeping through the night... maybe just a coincidence, so the jury is still out on that.

Yes, staying up late on the computer or kindle type device will keep one awake. I try to sign off at 9:30p.

If you can't find natural solutions ask your doctor about trazedone. I have not taken it but I have known a number of people who have, including my son. You do have to taper down and not stop cold turkey when you decide to come off. But I agree with everyone else try the natural stuff first.

My favorite method is breathing exercises. Deep slow breath in - hold - then slow breath out. I do 5 seconds for each part but there are other ones. I use it more for panic attacks but it helps with sleep too.

Thanks for all the ideas. I forgot one other complication is I have one ear that rings all the time and the other does ring (of course at a different frequency) if my neuro system is more out of whack than normal. So I need to cover that noise too ... often with TV or fan on...just to make noise...

Yes I think I am keeping an ear open for mom too.

I guess I need to develop a better set of bedtime routines and will try some of natural routines and other suggestions. I let you know how it goes!

Also make sure all lights are turned off at a certain hour, that should help you on your way. I also keep one eye open for my mom, even if she gets through the night completely, I wake up one to three times a night just to check on her.

Let me chime in and also caution you about the Ambien. I have a friend who started taking it and ended up "hooked on it" for 8 years. She experienced the sleep walking and towards the end, it didn't really even help her sleep.

Slept pretty well last night except for the 3 "mom help sessions". Now she is sleeping in the chair and I am on the computer as I need to stay awake now as I am expecting an important call soon. I know I slept better, when I slept as I had some dreams, so I must have gotten deeper sleep.

My neurologist saw no problem with me taking ambien every night...I told him that was nuts. I do keep some handy but only use them very sparingly if at all. Back to the melatonin and better sleep routine. Thanks all...

If you are keeping an ear open for Mom you are probably not falling into deep sleep so you will wake up easily at small disturbances. A sleep aid will help you fall into a deeper sleep but you must talk to a doctor, a sleep specialist might be best.
Sound sleep is very important to good physical and mental health. To go without sound sleep for any period of time can lead to a condition similar to Battle Fatigue, not good. This is what my doctor told me when I had a loved one living with me who was prone to seizures and bouts of delusion. I could not fall into deep sleep because I was anxious something might happen, in time I got very sick. This was not an elder care situation and when my loved one finally stabilized and was able to move to independent living I finally began to sleep again. I wish now I had gotten some help for sleep during the 3 1/2 years he was with us.

See a sleep specialist.

I think your neurologist is wrong. Taking any prescribed drug for sleep every night will change your bodies natural sleep cycle so when you go off of it you are screwed (to put it delicately) Trust me I know. I've been through this myself.

I found that drastically reducing carbohydrates (sugars and starches) and replacing them with natural fats (butter, natural peanut butter, olive oil, coconut oil) improved my sleep tremendously. I noticed a big difference in 2 weeks.

Sugars and starches are like kindling. Natural fats are like logs. Think of yourself as a wood burning stove. Would you rather sustain yourself with kindling, or with a slow-burning log?

I recently started tracking my sleep and in two weeks I have yet to sleep more than 5 hours, but I don't feel tired, and even when I could sleep I can't fall or stay asleep. Frustrating, and I sure identify with your post. I've been using yoga nidra, which makes me feel more rested than I would otherwise, and it seems like it's helping with the sleep as well. It isn't traditional yoga, but more like a meditation, and it only takes 15-20 minutes. I found it through Bold Tranquility , which speaks to exhausted women, but I'm sure you could find it on You Tube or elsewhere also.

I have found that if I am worried I might be needed during the night, I don't dare take anything that might make me foggy and miss a distress call. I do take a nighttime OTC sleep aid with benedryl and don't have any problem. Occasionally it will keep my brain awake most of the night and that's a bummer. My doctor does not believe in ambien. I also have a sound soother which helps a lot. And I do lie down while my husband has his nap so I don't get overly tired. I have found that break extremely important, even though i certainly have tons of other chores I could be doing. To be sure, nighttime is very difficult for caretakers.

Thanks for starting this topic, and for everyone's helpful responses. I also sleep with one eye open, imagining I will catch my hubby if he starts to fall during one of his many trips to the toilet during the night. I've added practical aids like nightlights on remote switches for him to use for the journey, walkers, etc. But it's me who is anxious and cannot let go of my responsibilities, even when I've covered things as best I can.
Chocolate for dessert at night makes it worse, sadly. And Edahmen has a great suggestion, that I nap in the afternoon when my hubby does. If I put my head down, I am into a deep sleep almost at once. BUT that quiet hour or so is when I can get other things done, or just play on the computer...
Thanks everyone.

My doctor told me to take Melatonin, an natural OTC supplement that is not habit-forming. He also said to take it with a Tylenol. Sometimes I do and other times I just take the Melatonin. I don't take it every night, but do find that it helps me have a relaxed sleep with no foggy side effects.

I also have a pendant for him (Lifeline) so that if he falls I certainly will hear him. He has also used it when he couldn't get off the pot. That has certainly reduced my anxiety level about falling. I also really rely on the baby monitor to keep track of whether or not he is in bed ans I can ask him if he needs help. He has been having trouble getting his CPAP mask on straight if he gets up in the night.

My 89-year-old mom has had terrible problems with insomnia for many, many years. She tried Ambien with bad results. She is currently taking VESICare to relax the bladder and drinking a small amount of hot cocoa with Cool Whip (YUM) right before bedtime. Her overnight trips to the bathroom have gone down from 7-8 to 3-4. This regimen has worked for over a year now. She also says she gets right back to sleep after she lays back down from a bathroom trip.

My 90-year-old dad also swears by cocoa right before bedtime for good sleep as well. (I discovered hot cocoa years ago when I needed to take a quick nap after my lunch so that I could work a 3-11 shift without falling asleep.)

I'm not a care giver any more but my sleep pattern has been awful for months ... stress and my mind going a mile a minute. I'm sleepy by 10 p.m. I find if I get the ready for bed stuff done ... wash, change, brush teeth, let the dogs out for a last pee and so on ... I might watch the beginning of the 11 p.m. news and off to bed we go.

The long harsh winter certainly hasn't helped any of us but now spring is here and I'll be outside working around the property in the fresh air. In spring, summer & fall I'm up early and drop into bed at days end, out like a light.

I do melatonin plus diphenhydramine (Benadryl). I avoid coffee after 5pm. I find that lovely 2nd glass of red wine makes me wake up at 3:30am, don't know why, but I just can't have that very lovely 2nd glass of wine ( boo hook ). I have heard that pumpkin or pumpkin extract is good for sleep, but I haven't tried it. I do also wear an eye patch thing to completely black out all light.

Is Benadryl what they put in cold medicine?

I like ambien. Not addictive and no sleepwalking. Sometimes it takes too long to kick in and leaves a little grogginess in the morning. Try these sleeping aids: listen to NPR/read something. Anything to turn your mind away from all you have left undone and all you must do in the morning--if you are lucky enough to sleep through the night.

I read the daily email updates but never login. Tonight I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. I am a lifelong insomniac (I am 40). However, once I took mom in my sleeplessness became a severe problem because I can never 'make up' sleep anymore on weekends. I'm also getting older and had to find a way to sleep. About 2 yrs ago I started trying ASMR vids on youtube. They have saved my life. Not every person has the receptors for it but it work for me. Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response stimulates the feel good sensors in the brain. In a calming way...it makes a lot of people fall asleep like a child does...boneless and with a sense of safety. There are various sounds that people use...for me I hate the whispering sounds those aggravate me, but I love the sounds of dogs chewing bones, cats bathing themselves, artists sketching, or newspaper pages turning. I have since assembled my lwn collection of vids that I setup to autoplay each night for 4- 5 hrs at least. I calm down, my anxiety level drops and I sleep. Medicine free...I occasionally add tart cherry juice or sleepytime extra (with valerian) tea to my nighttime routine but usually the sounds are enough. I would advise against Ambien if you have to wake nightly for mom. Some may not feel it is addictive...but I have known several people who took it...they have never stopped even after years. Either way I hope you find something that works for you.

I would also like to comment about Ambien. My MIL has taken it for about 5 years now (she is 86), and she has had nightmares (some pretty vivid and scary). She also wakes up after about 4 hours and can't get back to sleep, but she won't give it up because she says at least it helps her get to sleep. She doesn't believe that the nightmares are from the Ambien. I can't make her not take them anymore and my husband thinks as long as she is o.k., then why change it. I would not recommend giving Ambien to anyone.

Dear CentralMassach1, Any drug can have different effects on elderly people. Things which word well in you 20-50 years can change with time. I've taken Ambient off and on since 1998. It worked great back then. Now it takes forever to kick in and works for about four hours. Go figure. Trazadone might be a better choice for her. Ask her doctor. As to the nightmares, does she remember them and talk about them? Perhaps long-term memories of old, awful things are coming up? I think the more she can talk about them or write them down, if possible, the less power they may have. Someone who studied dreams said nightmares are your subconscious' way of trying to get your attention. Just a thought. Good luck to all of you.

Dear fedupanddown: Thank you for you input. She does remember her nightmares very well and tells us about them. She sometimes gets scared because they "seem so real" she says. We've tried to get her different medicines, but she is very stubborn and always goes back to the Ambien - she says it works to get her to sleep, and thinks the nightmares are because she's getting old! Anyway, thanks for the advice, and we'll continue to try different things with her. One thing I meant to say also, is that she is in excellent health overall, it's just that she thinks she has sleep problems. If that's all she has, I guess she's fortunate for that. Thanks again.

bjx2010, thanks for the idea...I will look into the sounds. I know that I can fall asleep with TV on and disaster flixs like "dante's Peak, Volcano, Outbreak, etc" - Ok I am a science geek --- usually I set the sleep button for 60 minutes...but if I could just leave it one all night without it turning to some crappy shopping channel when movie is over...I might be ok. But I will look at this other video/sound stuff and see what I can do