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Dear chillout,
I don't know exactly what Abilify is for but I think its for dementia/loss of memory isn't it? Ask your pharmacist on the side effects. In my state, all RX dispensed drugs come with a two page document stating what the meds are for, how much to give, what they are made of and all possible side effects.
My Mom also has dementia and anxiety and loss of appetite. Dr. put her on Mirtazapine and it works wonders. No side effects. She takes it before bedtime, helps her sleep all night and increases her appetite a lot. But when she gets more agitated and anxiety stricken, and delusional, Dr prescribed Lorazapan [it is NOT an anti-psychotic] And it works too. It's stronger than Mirtazipam, and it makes her far less agitated and depressed. Although it does make her more drowsy than ususal and she takes it only when absolutly necessary. It calms her down tremendously. So Mom is not on any other type of dementia meds only those two. Plus two morphine pills a day, one in am and one in pm. for pain. Hope this helps.
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How easy are you with the level of agitation and aggression? To use drugs or not is always a tradeoff. And when it comes to dementia there is no perfect choice -- there are drawbacks to trying drugs and drawbacks to not trying drugs.

I know how extremely valuable drug treatments have been for my husband's dementia so I'm probably biased in that direction. I suggest trying the doctor's suggestion, at a low dose, and watching carefully for side effects before increasing the dose. You can read every website and drug insert there is, but the only way you'll know whether your mother will have side effects and what they will be is for your mother to try it.

Good luck!
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