I have a friend that is taking care of her father that has dementia. He takes medication but when he drinks, he is drunk for days and he does not take his medicine. He is 86 years old. When he gets drunk, his feet swell, he urinates on himself, doesn't take baths for days and he's up all night rising sand and cussing. She has Power of Attorney of his affairs. Is this considerate Elderly Neglect if she is not doing anything about his behavior and getting the help?
Since your friend has POA, and her father has dementia, she needs to use her power to get him placed in the appropriate facility where he will be better taken care of, and he won't be allowed to drink. It's just a sad situation all the way around. Hopefully your friend will listen to you, and perhaps you can share the answers on this forum with her. Best wishes.
Does her father live alone and you feel he should be in placement?
Is her father suffering from dementia and should no longer be along but is alone?
We need more information I am afraid.
Found him living in a hovel of an apartment, drunk to the gills at 10 am and crashing around in living conditions that you wouldn't put a dog in. Rats, roaches, all the yuck of a life 'given up on'.
She had not been 'allowed' in his place and got suspicious.
She's a tough nut. She did have POA and went straight to an atty (after dragging her dad to the ER where he was admitted)..then the POA was enacted and she took over.
Now she has all his money sent to her. She moved him to a small studio and has it cleaned every week. She pays his few bills and grocery shops once a week. She gives him spending money and encourages attendance at Al-Anon. Whether he goes or not is up to him.
After talking to her--I see the incredible courage it took to have his apt dejunked and cleaned, have him moved and take the steps to help him. He's doing moderately better, but the liver damage is far too gone for really good health.
And I believe the terms she used for taking him to the ER were, in fact "kicking and screaming".
She DID NOT bring him to her home to live. No way. But she has him over regularly (as long as he is stone cold sober) and her sweet kids have learned, through mama's wonderful example, how to unconditionally love---esp when it's HARD.
As a friend, I would not call APS. But your friend could. Explaining the situation and seeing if they can get him help so she can place him. Can't place him kicking and screaming.
Is she living with him or he with her?
If he has diagnosed dementia he should not be living by himself.
If he is living by himself the not showering, urinating on himself while could be just as a result of the alcohol or it could be the dementia might be classified as "self abuse" and that can also be reported.
If with a diagnoses of dementia if he is living by himself that might be classified as "neglect".
I am surprised that neighbors have not called the police during one of the "up all night cussing"
You could contact APS and ask that they check the situation. But have you discussed your concerns with your friend? If she sees noting wrong with the situation then report it I would rather loose a "friend" than risk the life of someone.