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What info do I need to clarify this suspicion? For example perhaps a spouse feels trapped by needing to care for an ill spouse and has been advised to use the services available by hospice to hasten end stages while lessening out of pocket expenses all in one convenient hospice arrangement. How can a child protect his beloved parent from this unfair treatment??? Do I have any legal rights? Are there facts out there that could enable me to help my parent who cant help herself? Especially knowing that my parent would never choose this approach in her advanced directives.???

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Sounds like you think that your mother's husband wants to hasten your mother's passing, am I reading that correctly? What are your goals, removing hospice and try to gain a few more weeks or months? It wouldn't be fair for your mother, and more agony for her husband, and for you.

Be advised that hospice is there to help your mother be comfortable in her final phase of her life... there isn't anything that hospice would do to make the end of this journey happen any sooner. And hospice wouldn't be there if they thought your mother wouldn't need them.
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Does your parent have an advanced directive?

Hospice does not hasten end stages. It provides comfort care to people who are already dying. Hospice does not take cases unless a medical doctor has declared the patient has an expected life span of six months or less. It can't be just a spouse or caregiver wanting to get out of the caregiver role.

I suggest you meet with the Hospice Social Worker and/or the Nurse. Do not approach them belligerently but in a spirit of wanting to know what is going on. Find out how they see your mother's infirmities and her prognosis. Ask what they are doing for her.

If possible, get a copy of her advance directive. Be aware, however, that that document usually appoints someone to make decisions, and the decisions can depart from the stated wishes. Things change and circumstances occur that couldn't be anticipated at the time the document was written.

Talk to your mother's spouse about why the hospice decision was made. Have the discussion with an open mind and listen to the answers.

I think that you would have a hard time overturning a decision made by a spouse and backed by medical evaluation. But if after looking into it further you still feel this is against your mother's best interests I suggest you consult a lawyer.

It is very, very hard to see our loved ones in an end-of-life situation. Emotion is overwhelming. Dementia is a terminal condition. Your mother is going to die from it, on hospice or not, soon or a little later. When you talk the Hospice social worker, ask about grief counseling to help you deal with your severe pain at this situation.
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