My mom is in yet another facility within the last 6 months after having a auto moblie accident and having to do rehab, plus she has parkinson disease which is getting worse. NO place that she has been in has made her happy and probably no place will. How can I make this place work, its not great but yet I can't afford anything else, Looking at 5,000 a month wheich I dont know how this is going to work. She is driving me crazy and the staff and well I think that is why she had been in so many places. She cant go home (which house iis paid for ) or I have APS on me and well she cant take care if her self. I live in another state and I call her daily and try a weekly visit, but I cant do this. Frustrated
Does your mother have anyone there in town who visits? Does she have any friends? Tell us a little more about her situation and someone may have some suggestions. Your mother is ultimately responsible for her happiness. You can make her interact with people or enjoy life. You can just provide the opportunity for her by choosing the best place possible. Big hugs to you.
"Hi, Irish, how are you?"
"I'm hanging in there...barely"
"What?"
" Mom and Dad are killing me"
" I just talked to them. They said everything is fine !"
" What? are you kidding me? Mom set the kitchen on fire!"
" She said it was just a little burned eggs"
"Dad drove through the garage door!"
" He said he scratched the car. Why are you so bitchy? Are they OK?"
"They are just peachy. I have to deal with the insurance!"
"Well they have good coverage, don't they?"
"That's not the point. I'd like to choke you"
"Choke me for what? What is your problem?"
"My problem! You have no idea! They are losing it!"
"Are you drinking again?"
"Oh yeah. all the time. You're an idiot."
And it goes on, neither can see what the other one sees, not ever.
Like five blind men with an elephant,
missmel, your mom is not liable to be happy anywhere she is. I don't know what kind of person she is but I have patients in facilities (skilled care) and none of them are happy there and they do drive the staff crazy. It's not just your mom.
And as for the "they cared for us, we should care for them" baloney, when "they cared for us" they WANTED to care for us. They WANTED to have a little baby and to make a family. They didn't get a full-grown adult who is elderly and angry and scared and who is out of their mind with dementia or Alzheimer's. As children we didn't know right from wrong, we had to be taught with life lessons and decent parenting. Our elderly parents have fully-formed personalities and many have lived on their own their entire adult lives and don't take to having to be cared for by us too kindly. Thus the argument that "they cared for us, we should care for them" is pure crap.