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My Step Mom (91) has an apartment at an Assisted Living. The light is very poor in her apartment and she never turns on the overhead lights. She may use a small lamp next to her recliner. Any time I have visited her, I can barely see her from across the room.
Is there any thing wrong with her eyes? She has regular eye exams that don't reveal anything. Has anyone else run in to this?

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It's likely a problem for YOU but not for HER! That's what I've found with my own mother (94 in Jan) who lives in Memory Care AL. The things I worry about she does not. The things she worries about I do not. Unless she's falling, complaining about not being able to see, or telling you there's a specific & worrisome reason for her living in low lighting conditions, just let it go. I would. We've already got ENOUGH to worry about as it is with these elders!!

Good luck!
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babziellia Jan 2021
SO TRUE!
My 90 yo mom lives with us. In her old independent apartment, she had big windows and only shears because she likes natural light. The windows in her room here are not as big or as many, but I open the blinds every morning. She always likes the lights off unless she's working at her desk or reading. She likes the lights off whether it's day or night. After the sun goes down, she has one small lamp that points down and away that she wants on. That's it.

Honestly, my mom is so high maintenance and demanding that I never gave her lights off preference any thought. It's how she likes it, and it's one of the very few things I "can do" that is "right" or pleasing - I'm sure you know what I mean.

When I go in there with her and need light to do whatever, now I just flip the overhead room lights on and do what I need to do. She hardly complains, but before I can reach the door going out, she'll remind me to turn off the light. LOL.

But my mom has always been like this, I suppose. If the preference was new or a drastic change in behavior, I might be concerned.

As long as she's safe, following her safety awareness, and cared for, I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore with my demanding (narcissistic) Mom.
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anereus, walking into my parents' house was like walking into a cave. My Mom kept the side of the house where the sun would shine in totally closed up. Her reasoning was so the sun wouldn't fade the rug nor the furniture. Yep, their 40 year old sofa had no fade marks :P
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Before moving to Memory Care, my mother was CONVINCED that someone was looking in at her. So, all the blinds were drawn.
No matter how many times I explained that she didn’t have a water bill in her apartment, she was convinced that she should not flush, in order to save money.
Maybe something like either one of these?
These haven’t changed since moving into MC, despite anti-anxiety medications.
Colleen
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It might help to get a touch lamp to replace the one by her recliner (which went wrong, naturally). They usually have a very low light level, good at night, then two more brightness levels if you touch again. It would give her some easy options, you could ask for ‘brighter’ when you visit, and it should make it easier to read – even to see the things you probably bring in for her.
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If she likes it dark more power to her.

I like my rooms the same way.
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DILKimba Dec 2020
Me too! My husband calls me a mole! haha! I also don’t turn on lights at night if I get up to use the restroom or get water from the kitchen. I can see just fine in the dark! 😅
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Is this a new thing? Did she keep her home dark too?
If it's a new behavior it could be because she can't operate the switches for the lamps anymore. Old fingers are less mobile and lose feeling at the ends, so those little things that have to be twisted to turn the light on are impossible!
Or, when the natural light fades at the end of the day it may just be too difficult to get up and flip the switch on the wall. Does she have trouble standing after being seated a while?
If she's in the light of her lamp when the sun goes down she may not realize the rest of the room got very dark.
It could also be that she just doesn't think of turning the lights on anymore and needs to be reminded.
You may want to try putting timers on a couple lamps so she doesn't have to do anything to have light.
They also have remote controls for outlets. Plug the device into an outlet and plug a lamp into the device. A remote control at her chair let's her simply push a button to turn the light on. These are inexpensive and easy. The remote has a keychain ring attached which we pinned to Dad's recliner arm after he dropped it several times.
Your mentioned she's been to the eye doctor and no issues were found. That's good! Did they check to see if bright lights bother her eyes? Light sensitivity can be the culprit. If that's the case indirect lighting can help, like a floor lamp that shines upward or a table lamp placed so Mom has no view of the bare bulb from where she sits
A desk lamp can be adjusted to shine to the wall so the room is illuminated.
Trying to understand why she sits in the dark can be hard. She may not want to admit to any of the reasons I've mentioned. Or she really may not know! But a dimly lit apartment is a dangerous place for the elderly. She could become dis-oriented in the dark if she walks toward the bathroom, or she may not be able to see trip hazards.
Best of luck to you!
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Dosmo13 Dec 2020
Lots of good explanations for failure to turn on lights. I thought of my parents who were so used to living frugally that, even when financially well off, never wanted any more light than they thought absolutely essential.
Always thinking about the electric bill!
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She probably thinks that the light near her recliner is "enough." Many older folks have a depression era mindset - re-use everything, and try not to use electricity (worry about the bills). If her eyesight tests fine and she is not suffering from depression or dementia, it is only her habit. Turn on more lights when you are there.
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My mother does this, in her mind the power bill is too high. She shuts off her lamp next to her recliner and sits in the dark. Probably a habit learned from her parents.
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MiSonInLaw Dec 2020
My mother-in-law does this too. She has even been known to unplug night lights for the same reason. We've tried to explain to her that they are LED lights and don't use as much electricity, but she has MCI and doesn't seem to "get it".
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Did she grow up in a family that initially may not have had electricity, or central heat, or the conveniences we have today?   Was her family poor?    Food scarce?  Does she remember the Great Depression and how they had to conserve, scrimp and save?

I think this can be a reflection of childhood memories when funds were short, conveniences were scarce, and children grew up with conservation in mind.    This can also apply to things like saving string, reusing cardboard and other commodities.  

Using more light meant using more electricity, and if they weren't getting enough financial support, those luxuries were compromised.

I remember my mother telling me that during the Depression, she had to study by lamplight.  I don't know if it was that they didn't have electricity, or it was too expensive.  

Dad said they heated with a wood stove, there was no central heating, and they heated up bricks on the wood stove to put at the end of the bed to keep their feet warm.    I'm not sure how they did this w/o touching the bricks, but it was clearly an emotional experience for him so I didn't ask.
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It might be depression. Sometimes when elderly get depressed, they want to sit in a dark room. My dad wants the light off constantly. Darkness also calms them, I think.
She may have eyes that have aged, but most likely she could be depressed or just wants a calm atmosphere.
This is very typical of the elderly.
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