I have no idea on what to do my mother is hearing full on conversations that I can't hear, and she says it is because the neighbors programed the AI for just her to hear them. On New Year’s Day I was woken up at 5am in the morning with police in the house wanting to ask me questions. My mother called the police and told them the neighbors drilled under the house to put spy cameras in the vents and used the video to make porn. None of which was true and they told me to get her to a doctor. My mother will not go to a doctor because she thinks it's all real. My mother woke me up at 3am she was outside said the house fell off the foundation and we have a crack in the roof. I had a foundation company look at the house nothing wrong with the house then she said I wonder why the neighbor lied to me then. The neighbor’s never even spoke to her it's all in her head. Then she said she had to turn the gas office in the house because the people in the furnace told the house was going to explode then she told me to look outside they were out there fixing it now. There was nobody outside we had freezing rain that night and I needed the heat back on before we had a bigger problem. How does someone out of their mind know how to shut the gas off? Today she saying we have hole in the foundation and it's a mess so she going to call a lawyer and sue the neighbors. The neighbors have done nothing to the house. I don’t know what to do.
The next time you make a trip to the ER for a UTI or for ANY reason she lands in the hospital you talk to the Social Worker or the Dr. or PA that is assigned and tell them what is going on and that she needs to be evaluated that "SHE IS NOT SAFE AT HOME" and honestly YOU are not safe in the house with her if she is able to shut off the gas or possibly do other dangerous things.
She needs to be evaluated and proper medication needs to be prescribed.
She can not be comfortable with the delusions and possible hallucinations she is having.
When my sister was having hallucinations and delusions it ended up being pneumonia , sepsis, and metabolic encephalopathy .
You should call 911 and ask for transport to hospital. Do not say this has been happening for a while, but rather say that your mother is hallucinating and you are scared to death she has sustained stroke or other blow to her head from fall, etc. That she needs assessment and doesn't understand she does, and will not allow you to get her to the ER.
The word "stroke" to EMS means they must act QUICKLY to get someone assessed, and so you may want to elaborate on some garbling of speech, whatever it takes to get them to take her to the ER. The more irrational SHE is with them, the better, the more likelihood they will get her in to be assessed.
Once at the ER you need to get everyone on board for a good neuro-psych evaluation and all the testing. Access Social Services as soon as possible.
This has been going on for a while from what you say. This could be untreated infection, but it sounds more like dementia to me, and Mom needs a baseline assessment now. Things cannot go on in this manner.
If none of this works, that is to say, if EMS believes your Mom and refuses to transport her it is time to call APS and tell them what is happening, and that you are incapable of getting your mother to care.
I sure wish you luck. You must be feeling so helpless. Do update us as to whether or not you get your Mom to assessment.
The police have warned you. Next time they come because she called ask them to Baker act her. That your afraid she hurt herself or do something like burning down the house. She will be evaluated for 72 hrs. If they think she is psychotic tell them she cannot return home until she is properly medicated. You cannot care for her as long as she is like this.
Medical evaluation in hand, my husband applied for guardianship over both of his parents (father was already in a nursing home with dementia).
We had been unable to do anything to make his mother safe until we had the evaluation in hand as she refused to cooperate. Good luck
Since Mom won't GO to seek medical advice, bring the medical advice to her.
Have you called her Doctor?
What did they advise?
Or a helpline?
Have you tried 911?
Explained, older lady, dellusional, hallucinating, past history UTI. Suspected UTI & needs medical investigation/treatment.
For people too mentally unwell to realise they are unwell & require urgent care, Baker Act can be used.
My FIL's hallucinations got so much worse when he got C-Diff. He was already in a SNF but he called DH and we had to talk him down several times until he felt safe because he thought he was trapped in a church basement, he thought he was at a party in the woods, he thought that the CNAs and nurses were locking him in his room (he had a new roommate and the curtain was pulled for the first time, so he couldn't see the door). But he was SCREAMING at us and wanting to know if we were in the parking lot coming to help him. It was really very sad and we had to call the nurses station at a couple of points to have him sedated.
This was before anyone realized he even had C-Diff because there were no signs - he was just being treated for the UTI and he was quite literally a danger to himself because he kept trying to get out of the bed to run away and kept falling because he didn't remember he couldn't walk. They lowered his bed and had to give him something to calm him down.
C-Diff can hang around for a long time - especially untreated. And even treated it takes a while to get out of your system - and can recur.
Before you jump to dementia - she definitely needs to be assessed for a UTI or C-diff - but unfortunately she may end up having to be admitted against her will to get that diagnosis if she won't go willingly because she is a danger to herself at this point.
TIAs are used often by a NH or a MC or a AL when they have a resident that they want to get rid of as TIAs are real real subjective as to how they “present” or look. So the usual take will be is they seem to be not connecting their words, or there’s seems to be a sense of vacantness about them, or their movement seems weird. And TIAs can be real fleeting, so they can pass quickly. Perhaps some of the RNs on this site can chime in on TIAs???
But TIAs can be viewed as a precursor to a stroke so should be seen by health care provider in appropriate setting and presto! that means mom needs to go to the ER or ED and get seen there so then once she’s there, you tell them all about the other issues….. multiple UTIs and her very much noncompliance for treatment on those UTIs so she gets admitted as a patient (not observation but a full on patient in the hospital) and once she’s admitted you then refuse to take her home as it WOULD BE AN UnSAfE DISCHARGE as you cannot provide the care and oversight needed for her. What all this does is buys you time to get a clear picture of just wtf is wrong with her and hopefully get her on proper meds. If she’s C diff, push to have her hospitalized for that treatment as could be couole of weeks & yes Medicare will pay. Plus gives her behavioral drugs time to get going in her bloodstream & brain for the win!
if mom has one of her psychotic episodes while in the ER, let her. That she goes there’s aliens under my bed, let it roll. You want her hospitalized.
once this is somewhat settled - whether it’s she’s going to be in a behavioral unit for a period of time or sent over to rehab or she’s after a couple of weeks sent home on mood stabilization drugs - then you can start to deal with her financials and property ownership issues and what that could mean for your own future financial stability. That’s to me more of a springtime thing. Realistically until she stops being batcrap crazy nothing can be done on that front. She really can’t sign stuff right now as not competent and cognitive or appear to be even if she would be pleasant and willing to sit at a bank to do what needed totally solo in a bank officers office. Fwiw imho if she sadly is going to stay crazy, then the path is guardianship and you’re going to need all these recent hospitalization records to establish need for guardianship. Getting her onto hospital records and in detail mucho importante, you see where I’m going in this, right?
also please pls do get yourself some real sleep. You have to be able to think clearly and answer questions clearly. Let us know how things go. Many of us on this site have been where you are.
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