Follow
Share

My mother lives with me and has had Alzheimer's for a few years now. Largely she is aware of what's going on but now daily I see her getting into these bouts of confusion and will do things that show her cognitive decline. I dont believe it's safe for her or others when she drives her car anymore but she doesn't listen to me. I don't have POA since she believes she is not that far gone yet. What can I do?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
You must realize that if she drives and injures someone or Heaven forbid, kills someone she would be responsible. Hide all the keys or keep them with you;disable the car by disconnecting a battery connector; speak to her doctor privately and have him test her and have him cancel her license. That is what my doctor did with my husband. There are other related questions and answers on this format that you might find helpful. All the best
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes to Isthisrealyreal's suggestions. Also, I would actually remove the care and keys from her sight and keep in a relative's or friend's garage (when she is unaware, like overnight) and then tell her a therapeutic fib that the car is having major engine problems and is in the shop. My cousins should have taken away their dad's car (but he was insistent and resistant) so they didn't and he ran a red light and was t-boned and it killed his wife and dog and fortunately only minor injuries to his victims. Please take this seriously, don't wait for things to get "really bad" before acting, even if you're not her PoA. Which is another issue. Please work on getting this taken care of before she is incompetent. Maybe do your own PoA papers at the same time and she'll feel "safer" and more confident doing it. Otherwise you will be forced to pursue guardianship -- expensive and time-consuming. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes, its too late to get POAs once a person is incompetent to do so. Tell Mom they are a tool for you. It helps you to carry out her wishes. That it doesn't come into effect if she states in the paperwork only when she is not competent to make decisions. This could mean a coma. And wouldn't it be better that you made decisions based on her wishes than some hospital doctor doing it for her. If she doesn't put things in place when she can, the State may step in and take over her care. She nor you will have any say.

Her doctor can report Mom to the DMV but for my Gson (epileptic) it took 3 months for NJ to write a letter asking that he turn his license in. So in the meantime lose Moms keys. Disable the car and tell her it needs to go to the shop. Take it somewhere else. Don't leave it where she sees it all the time. Out of sight out of mind. My GFs father had ALZ and every night put his wallet and keys in his pants and hung them over a chair. One morning he asked his wife where his pants were. They looked high and low. She told him until they were found he couldn't drive, no keys no licence. She did find them. Way under his mattress. Buy that time he had stopped asking to drive. So she hid everything. Sold his car and got a different one.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

It's imperative that she stops driving. The easiest thing is to disconnect the battery (or have someone do it for you) and tell her the car won't start. If she's in an accident and the insurance company finds she has Alzheimer's, they may not pay for any damage to her car or the other and the other insurance may sue. You don't need a POA to disable the car.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
worriedinCali Jun 2020
That’s actually not the easiest thing to do. Believe it or not, people with Alzheimer’s can still think to call roadside service or a mobile mechanic to come out ;)
(2)
Report
You can download a form from your local Motor Vehicle Division and they will require her to come in for testing and they will cancel her license if she doesn't come in. I recommend having her doctor do it, in AZ it can not be done anonymously and that could cause problems.

If MVD renews her license then it is on them if something happens.

Best of luck. Oh, you could explain to mom that DPOA and MPOA are not effective until they are required. They are for the protection of her in the event that she has an accident, heaven forbid, and is not able to advocate for herself. Does she really want some hospitalist to make life and death decisions for her? I had to tell my dad that I would walk away and never look back if he didn't give me the authority to act on his behalf if he was unable to. It took 10 years of my life trying to get the hospital to treat him after a hospitalist put do not resuscitate in his chart. It was a battle that no one should ever have to fight and POAs stop that. I refused to do it again when he could stop the situation before it began by assigning a POA. Maybe that will get her attention, because when you need a POA it is usually to late to get it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter