Let me put it this way: your parents have been married HOW long? And have had HOW many opportunities to get divorced but haven't???
No parent wants their child's help with marriage issues. You may think they do. And they may even pretend to want your help. 😁
But when push comes to shove, they will stick up for each other like crazy and make YOU the bad guy! 😑
I learned this thru scar tissue 🙄. Mom was foul to dad for the entire time I was alive, 65 years, and treated him like dirt. He got sick of it when he was approaching end of life, finally, and started fighting back. When I told mom to back off, dad got SO angry he quit speaking to me! Said I was treating mom unfairly 😣
That's when I backed out of THEIR marriage and told them to quit calling ME to fix THEIR issues. They weren't looking for help. It was just their dysfunctional dynamic at play after 68 yrs and not subject to change. They loved one another, I suppose, in spite of it all.
Take my advice and stay the H E double tooth picks out of their marriage. They created this dyfunctional dynamic before the children came. I don't know why some parents feel the need to drag the kids into their arguments.
a) it's none of your business, and b) you have no control, anyway
If your Father's incompetence with money is a new thing, maybe there's something going on with him cognitively. If he's always been like this, then stop expecting him to be someone he never was or will be.
Has he always been grumpy? If not, then this too may be a sign of "something else" but unless he's willing to talk about it or voluntarily seek help, then you have no power to change anything. The most you can do is have a gentle discussion with him at an appropriate time to let him know you've noticed concerning changes in him and want to know if he's ok or if he needs help with anything. If he waves you off, then leave it alone.
It’s up to your mother if she wants to live with him. Whatever happens, she certainly shouldn’t move in with you! Be sure she’s not prepping you for that possibility.
And it’s none of your business anyway. Presumably this has been going on for a while. This is not the time to get all worried about it. You have your own life to live.
You should not be involved in the marital issues of your parents. That simply is not your business nor concern. If either parent tries to involve you let them know you are not wanting to be mediator, nor in the middle of what is LIKELY a constant for them for some time.
You are trying to control something that you have absolutely no control over.
Why would you even want to be involved in such a personal matter?
Have either of your parents asked for your opinion? Even if they have, you can tell them that this is something that they will have to work out for themselves.
No parent wants their child's help with marriage issues. You may think they do. And they may even pretend to want your help. 😁
But when push comes to shove, they will stick up for each other like crazy and make YOU the bad guy! 😑
I learned this thru scar tissue 🙄. Mom was foul to dad for the entire time I was alive, 65 years, and treated him like dirt. He got sick of it when he was approaching end of life, finally, and started fighting back. When I told mom to back off, dad got SO angry he quit speaking to me! Said I was treating mom unfairly 😣
That's when I backed out of THEIR marriage and told them to quit calling ME to fix THEIR issues. They weren't looking for help. It was just their dysfunctional dynamic at play after 68 yrs and not subject to change. They loved one another, I suppose, in spite of it all.
OP lives with the parents . So OP may be drawn in as well as a distressed witness .
Your profile says you live with them to save money but you “ find it isolating and stressful “.
Perhaps you should find a way to move out of THEIR home if the dynamic is bothering you .
a) it's none of your business, and
b) you have no control, anyway
If your Father's incompetence with money is a new thing, maybe there's something going on with him cognitively. If he's always been like this, then stop expecting him to be someone he never was or will be.
Has he always been grumpy? If not, then this too may be a sign of "something else" but unless he's willing to talk about it or voluntarily seek help, then you have no power to change anything. The most you can do is have a gentle discussion with him at an appropriate time to let him know you've noticed concerning changes in him and want to know if he's ok or if he needs help with anything. If he waves you off, then leave it alone.
And it’s none of your business anyway. Presumably this has been going on for a while. This is not the time to get all worried about it. You have your own life to live.
That simply is not your business nor concern.
If either parent tries to involve you let them know you are not wanting to be mediator, nor in the middle of what is LIKELY a constant for them for some time.
Why would you even want to be involved in such a personal matter?
Have either of your parents asked for your opinion? Even if they have, you can tell them that this is something that they will have to work out for themselves.
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