The best thing to do is to go to a trust and estate attorney who'll get you set up with all the legal documents as well as advise you on what to do if Medicaid might be needed for his future care.
Consult with your bank on how best to handle your accounts from here on. If the attorney says it's OK (regarding Medicaid rules), consider closing your accounts and reopening them in just your name. If not, then get your bank's power of attorney forms, because they'll invariably give you grief about the one you bring in from the attorney.
Also, think about who YOU will give POA to for your affairs. That person should be the back-up POA to you for your husband in care you become unable to do the job. That person, too, needs to be on the bank's POA forms, because they'll get even more grief for not being their customer on the accounts already. (You'll also need a successor trustee if you make a trust.)
Also, if he has passwords for computer accounts, write them down, and keep them in a safe place. Make sure you know where all your money is -- banks, investment companies like Schwab, for example, safe deposit boxes. Get his key for the box if he has one. Banks charge a fortune if you don't return both keys.
Your task is to remove any barriers to you handling your assets alone if need be. It's easier when someone dies, as you have the death certificate to hand over, but when they're alive but not competent, it can make life very difficult.
Lots of GREAT recommendations for you. Fully agree using a CELA certified Elder Care Attorney. I want to add 2 things: 1. If all your bank accounts are not JOINT and you don't have a DPOA, make sure those accounts are Payable on Death (POD) with you as primary beneficiary. You don't want much needed funds frozen until Probate is started.
2. Start NOW putting together a Financial Info Doc for Caregivers and Executor (Caregiver meaning who takes care of my finances if incompacitated) covering both of you! 2 yrs ago, my good friend's (who was Single with No Family) Lung Cancer went active and she was gone in 6 weeks. I had prepped and maintained her main retirement accounts for years. I was to be her Executor but when my wife developed Dementia she didn't want to burden me with the responsibility. She tried to prepare her executor but time ran out and the Executor struggled to do everything, even with my help. Seeing that caused me to ponder my own financial situation. Without that doc, my daughter would be lost especially should I become incompacitated. The doc should cover ALL your recurring transactions (monthly, annually). What is the flow of income, where and who. Your online credit card info, usernames, passwords, and how you use them. ESPECIALLY if you have digital currency (Crypto). Without knowing what you have, where it's stored, and how to access it, those funds will be lost forever. Give them enough info so that if they don't have the expertise, someone they trust and use will be able to access them, trade for $, and transfer to the bank. Which means what bank do you use to transfer funds back and forth in the Crypto arena. If those accounts are closed, you will go thru hell and back fixing that! It took me 6 months to write everything down in a doc, another few months to review and edit, and continuing quarterly reviews to keep it current. I keep it stored with my will. Should my daughter have to take over while I'm still kicking, all she has to do is read and follow or upon my death, use it to expeditiously close my estate. Best to you in your efforts and taking care of your hubby! Btw: I use Quicken's WillMaker Program. It provides a skeleton format for the Financial Info document.
info for Apple users: “Starting in iOS 15.2, iPadOS 15.2, and macOS 12.1, you can add a Legacy Contact for your Apple ID. Adding a Legacy Contact is the easiest, most secure way to give someone you trust access to the data stored in your Apple account after your death. The data may include photos, messages, notes, files, apps you've downloaded, device backups, and more. Certain information, like movies, music, books, or subscriptions you purchased with your Apple ID, and data stored in your Keychain—like payment information, passwords, and passkeys—can’t be accessed by your Legacy Contact. “
I, highly, recommend using a certified elder law attorney (CELA). There are some listed in Ft. Worth. www.nelf.org
We found that they are FAR SUPERIOR to just elder law attorneys. Their rates are higher hourly but, they took the trouble to become a certified elder law attorney and it takes a fraction of the time for them to do anything. We had one elder law attorney quote 12k and the CELA did the same thing and then some for $1,200.00.
A good one will know what you need for your state and how to protect you if you guys travel any. They will also help you set things up with your assets and income and know how to get him help if there isn't any savings or assets and it's only your income that stops the aid.
Interview multiple attorneys to find the best fit for you. We didn't interview any that didn't do free consulations.
POA Will Advance Directive Make sure all bills are on Autopay Make sure you have his bank cards and access to his accounts. Taxes Trade his Drivers License for ID Social Security Medical/Medicare Purchase plot or cremation plan now.
Also user ids and passwords to his online accounts, such as PayPal, AppleID, Microsoft ID, Social Security Administration, Medicare, State Tax, banks, etc.
Make sure he has signed HIPPA agreements to allow you access to his medical records. Call Social Security and Banks to get you on the list so that you can inquire about his accounts.
Safe Deposit box? Transportation passes?
Sucessor trustee? Joint trustee? Real estate holdings, stock certificates?
See an elder law attorney or a trust and estate attorney. Either can guide you in answering these questions. I myself would not do any paperwork I pulled off the internet. If it isn't enough in future then you cannot make changes.
If your husband is willing he should NOW appoint you as general POA to handle everything financial. If you need help hire a licensed fiduciary to teach you good record keeping. An attorney can advise about any future applications for Medicaid or placement and division of finances to protect YOUR assets if needed in future.
My brother was diagnosed with probable early lewy's dementia at age 83. At that time he asked me to be his POA and Trustee of his estate. It was a steep learning curve for me as I was at that time pushing 79 myself. But I did it. He had been well organized. We did the paperwork with an attorney.
There is a cost with an attorney, but at a time like this, as I said, you cannot afford to do this wrong. Get expert advice just as you would get expert advice for medical.
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. My brother and I took this journey to its end for him, and took it hand in hand together, discussing HONESTLY each step of the way what we both were experiencing. I value more than I can say, NOW, the beauty of that hard time, and well as its heartbreak.
Hi LDvorak50, I’m so sorry you’re both having to go through this, and you’re being wise in making preparations accordingly. That being said, along with others’ advice on seeking out an elder atty (yes, absolutely do that now), I would also ask if your husband is a vet? You may be able to get a lot of assistance from his VA clinic in terms of a home health aide & supplies they will pay for that Medicare won’t, and no-cost burial at a National cemetary for you both. Another VA benefit, Aid & Attendance, can assist with your home care health costs as well. This year, a married couple rate is $2642, so that can help as well. Planning is your best tool. And please take time to care for yourself - getting yourself worn down and worn out won’t serve you or your husband well. When someone offers to help, please say YES! Hugs!!!
Find a elder attorney who will protect you and not just doa Trust . You can do power of attorney yourself or with attorney . Heath care proxy is easy . DNR - do they want to be intubated or any extreme measures ? If you feel you maybe threatened by a Greedy relative get a medical certificate on file stating his diagnosis and lack of judgement for financial decisions . Buy the burial plot - you have to give back the last social security check to the government . Get a service Like TaskRabbit in case you need home repairs , Get LYFT or Uber for Doctor appointments - find a senior service to get you a CNA that Medicare covers - get rid of his car or take the keys away . Get a therapist and a support system in place . Get your name on his bank account . Also get yourself an accountant .
A lot of great suggestions have already been given, however, to be sure you have everything covered, the one suggestion you should consider doing first is meet with a good eldercare attorney. We found an eldercare attorney who offered a free first consultation and then we only paid for the documents that were suggested that we agreed with... which in our case was every one. The attorney also verified that a lot of our info did not even have to be updated according to the laws in our state. Remember that answers here may be coming from well meaning people (possibly internationally) whose experiences do not mean you need to do as they were required.
Any attorney can prepare the documents you "think" you need but if they do not specialize in elder law, they may not be up to date on the latest law changes. We made this mistake before finding the eldercare attorney we are now working with. We could have saved a lot of money by verifying the first attorney's credentials. Each family has their own unique issues so one size does not fit all.
Bless you and your husband You are in the Dallas area, and an Elder Law Attorney's name could be had from your church, from your Council on Aging, etc. The services of a caring Elder Law Attorney will be a Godsend to you. I won't mention all the 'Powers of Attorney" you need, as other have done this, but please invest in a good attorney which will give you peace of mind that you are doing "all the right steps" to prepare. You are an hourly wage earner and you need to protect as many assets as possible, so that you can live a decent life when your husband is no longer with you. An attorney is a good investment for your Peace of Mind.
Blessing, Vascular Dementia my mother had this . You need to converse with Elder Law for suggestions. Im guess medical doctor explained that this condition. When the bodies blood doesn't get to brain as it should . This caused mother to past out. Like zone sleep or staring into space short and long period time 😔. If father still can write and comprehension. Suggestions documents to be sign by him known . To make traction so much easier. Propertys his name off deed. Transfered ,Vehicle ownership, check his policies make sure beneficiary are there . Work insurance . Any documents with is name on it . Bank accounts open another one with just you or mother transfer over large amounts . Leave only two months of funds in joint account. And transfer excess monthly . Who is father's POA for medical and financial. Is there a will .
Because once father not able to sign his name . Lots of hard work and finding. Get a attorney know or converse with Area For The Aging Agency free assistant and very helpful. Peace out blessed Father's Day
Hello, A Durable Power of Attorney, to handle all the financial affairs & Advance Directive & Durable Power of Attorney for Health care to make all his medical decisions.
Start with a durable and medical POA(although he has to be deemed competent to list you as his POA), and then make sure his Will is in order along with his advance directives. It can also be helpful to have a MOST or POLST form filled out as well, so you know exactly what he wants or doesn't want as far as extremes taken to save his life. And perhaps even having a DNR can be helpful. You can't take his name off of any joint accounts until after he dies, and then you'll have to bring a copy of his death certificate to those financial institutions. Since vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias(with a life expectancy of only 5 years)it might not hurt to get his funeral arrangements planned and paid for as well.
I'm sorry that you're facing this horrible disease with your husband. My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020. The only up side(if there are any)is the fact that because it is very aggressive, our loved ones don't have to suffer and linger on for years and years like many of the other dementias. And to me that is a true blessing. I pray that God will give you the strength, courage, and patience needed for this journey you're on with your husband.
My 85-year-old husband was recently diagnosed with dementia. An MRI indicated he is building "calcification" in his brain. I'm just beginning this journey with him and am fearful of the future. Thank you for your common sense information. I do have a POA - both financial and health. We set those up a couple of years ago. Blessings on all of you who are going through, or have gone through this.
Durable Power of Attorney. Will or Trust. DNR order if that is what he wants.
My step-mother is in MC with FTD, we had to take away her checkbook, credit cards and so on. We also had her drivers license revoked, she only has an ID card now. We handle all of her bills and paperwork.
Basically get all your ducks in a row, so sorry about this.
Power of attorney will let you handle the finances. Medical power of attorney will let you handle medical decisions if you can prove he is not able to act in his best interest.
You might want to transfer ownership of your house and other assets into your own name. It may be too late for this--states usually require a 5 year period when he doesn't need care--but that would protect your home from a care facility using it as an asset to cover his costs if it came to that.
Consult with your bank on how best to handle your accounts from here on. If the attorney says it's OK (regarding Medicaid rules), consider closing your accounts and reopening them in just your name. If not, then get your bank's power of attorney forms, because they'll invariably give you grief about the one you bring in from the attorney.
Also, think about who YOU will give POA to for your affairs. That person should be the back-up POA to you for your husband in care you become unable to do the job. That person, too, needs to be on the bank's POA forms, because they'll get even more grief for not being their customer on the accounts already. (You'll also need a successor trustee if you make a trust.)
Also, if he has passwords for computer accounts, write them down, and keep them in a safe place. Make sure you know where all your money is -- banks, investment companies like Schwab, for example, safe deposit boxes. Get his key for the box if he has one. Banks charge a fortune if you don't return both keys.
Your task is to remove any barriers to you handling your assets alone if need be. It's easier when someone dies, as you have the death certificate to hand over, but when they're alive but not competent, it can make life very difficult.
1. If all your bank accounts are not JOINT and you don't have a DPOA, make sure those accounts are Payable on Death (POD) with you as primary beneficiary. You don't want much needed funds frozen until Probate is started.
2. Start NOW putting together a Financial Info Doc for Caregivers and Executor (Caregiver meaning who takes care of my finances if incompacitated) covering both of you! 2 yrs ago, my good friend's (who was Single with No Family) Lung Cancer went active and she was gone in 6 weeks. I had prepped and maintained her main retirement accounts for years. I was to be her Executor but when my wife developed Dementia she didn't want to burden me with the responsibility. She tried to prepare her executor but time ran out and the Executor struggled to do everything, even with my help. Seeing that caused me to ponder my own financial situation. Without that doc, my daughter would be lost especially should I become incompacitated. The doc should cover ALL your recurring transactions (monthly, annually). What is the flow of income, where and who. Your online credit card info, usernames, passwords, and how you use them. ESPECIALLY if you have digital currency (Crypto). Without knowing what you have, where it's stored, and how to access it, those funds will be lost forever. Give them enough info so that if they don't have the expertise, someone they trust and use will be able to access them, trade for $, and transfer to the bank. Which means what bank do you use to transfer funds back and forth in the Crypto arena. If those accounts are closed, you will go thru hell and back fixing that! It took me 6 months to write everything down in a doc, another few months to review and edit, and continuing quarterly reviews to keep it current. I keep it stored with my will. Should my daughter have to take over while I'm still kicking, all she has to do is read and follow or upon my death, use it to expeditiously close my estate. Best to you in your efforts and taking care of your hubby! Btw: I use Quicken's WillMaker Program. It provides a skeleton format for the Financial Info document.
“Starting in iOS 15.2, iPadOS 15.2, and macOS 12.1, you can add a Legacy Contact for your Apple ID. Adding a Legacy Contact is the easiest, most secure way to give someone you trust access to the data stored in your Apple account after your death. The data may include photos, messages, notes, files, apps you've downloaded, device backups, and more. Certain information, like movies, music, books, or subscriptions you purchased with your Apple ID, and data stored in your Keychain—like payment information, passwords, and passkeys—can’t be accessed by your Legacy Contact. “
We found that they are FAR SUPERIOR to just elder law attorneys. Their rates are higher hourly but, they took the trouble to become a certified elder law attorney and it takes a fraction of the time for them to do anything. We had one elder law attorney quote 12k and the CELA did the same thing and then some for $1,200.00.
A good one will know what you need for your state and how to protect you if you guys travel any. They will also help you set things up with your assets and income and know how to get him help if there isn't any savings or assets and it's only your income that stops the aid.
Interview multiple attorneys to find the best fit for you. We didn't interview any that didn't do free consulations.
Good luck getting this all set up.
Will
Advance Directive
Make sure all bills are on Autopay
Make sure you have his bank cards and access to his accounts.
Taxes
Trade his Drivers License for ID
Social Security
Medical/Medicare
Purchase plot or cremation plan now.
Make sure he has signed HIPPA agreements to allow you access to his medical records. Call Social Security and Banks to get you on the list so that you can inquire about his accounts.
Safe Deposit box? Transportation passes?
Sucessor trustee? Joint trustee? Real estate holdings, stock certificates?
If your husband is willing he should NOW appoint you as general POA to handle everything financial. If you need help hire a licensed fiduciary to teach you good record keeping. An attorney can advise about any future applications for Medicaid or placement and division of finances to protect YOUR assets if needed in future.
My brother was diagnosed with probable early lewy's dementia at age 83. At that time he asked me to be his POA and Trustee of his estate. It was a steep learning curve for me as I was at that time pushing 79 myself. But I did it. He had been well organized. We did the paperwork with an attorney.
There is a cost with an attorney, but at a time like this, as I said, you cannot afford to do this wrong. Get expert advice just as you would get expert advice for medical.
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. My brother and I took this journey to its end for him, and took it hand in hand together, discussing HONESTLY each step of the way what we both were experiencing. I value more than I can say, NOW, the beauty of that hard time, and well as its heartbreak.
Any attorney can prepare the documents you "think" you need but if they do not specialize in elder law, they may not be up to date on the latest law changes. We made this mistake before finding the eldercare attorney we are now working with. We could have saved a lot of money by verifying the first attorney's credentials. Each family has their own unique issues so one size does not fit all.
https://nelf.org/page/Whatcertification102518
Blessing, Vascular Dementia my mother had this . You need to converse with Elder Law for suggestions.
Im guess medical doctor explained that this condition. When the bodies blood doesn't get to brain as it should . This caused mother to past out. Like zone sleep or staring into space short and long period time 😔. If father still can write and comprehension.
Suggestions documents to be sign by him known . To make traction so much easier.
Propertys his name off deed. Transfered ,Vehicle ownership, check his policies make sure beneficiary are there . Work insurance . Any documents with is name on it . Bank accounts open another one with just you or mother transfer over large amounts . Leave only two months of funds in joint account. And transfer excess monthly . Who is father's POA for medical and financial. Is there a will .
Because once father not able to sign his name . Lots of hard work and finding. Get a attorney know or converse with Area For The Aging Agency free assistant and very helpful.
Peace out blessed Father's Day
It can also be helpful to have a MOST or POLST form filled out as well, so you know exactly what he wants or doesn't want as far as extremes taken to save his life. And perhaps even having a DNR can be helpful.
You can't take his name off of any joint accounts until after he dies, and then you'll have to bring a copy of his death certificate to those financial institutions.
Since vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias(with a life expectancy of only 5 years)it might not hurt to get his funeral arrangements planned and paid for as well.
I'm sorry that you're facing this horrible disease with your husband. My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020.
The only up side(if there are any)is the fact that because it is very aggressive, our loved ones don't have to suffer and linger on for years and years like many of the other dementias. And to me that is a true blessing.
I pray that God will give you the strength, courage, and patience needed for this journey you're on with your husband.
My step-mother is in MC with FTD, we had to take away her checkbook, credit cards and so on. We also had her drivers license revoked, she only has an ID card now. We handle all of her bills and paperwork.
Basically get all your ducks in a row, so sorry about this.
You might want to transfer ownership of your house and other assets into your own name. It may be too late for this--states usually require a 5 year period when he doesn't need care--but that would protect your home from a care facility using it as an asset to cover his costs if it came to that.
Good luck, and I'm so sorry.