Start with a durable and medical POA(although he has to be deemed competent to list you as his POA), and then make sure his Will is in order along with his advance directives. It can also be helpful to have a MOST or POLST form filled out as well, so you know exactly what he wants or doesn't want as far as extremes taken to save his life. And perhaps even having a DNR can be helpful. You can't take his name off of any joint accounts until after he dies, and then you'll have to bring a copy of his death certificate to those financial institutions. Since vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias(with a life expectancy of only 5 years)it might not hurt to get his funeral arrangements planned and paid for as well.
I'm sorry that you're facing this horrible disease with your husband. My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020. The only up side(if there are any)is the fact that because it is very aggressive, our loved ones don't have to suffer and linger on for years and years like many of the other dementias. And to me that is a true blessing. I pray that God will give you the strength, courage, and patience needed for this journey you're on with your husband.
My 85-year-old husband was recently diagnosed with dementia. An MRI indicated he is building "calcification" in his brain. I'm just beginning this journey with him and am fearful of the future. Thank you for your common sense information. I do have a POA - both financial and health. We set those up a couple of years ago. Blessings on all of you who are going through, or have gone through this.
Bless you and your husband You are in the Dallas area, and an Elder Law Attorney's name could be had from your church, from your Council on Aging, etc. The services of a caring Elder Law Attorney will be a Godsend to you. I won't mention all the 'Powers of Attorney" you need, as other have done this, but please invest in a good attorney which will give you peace of mind that you are doing "all the right steps" to prepare. You are an hourly wage earner and you need to protect as many assets as possible, so that you can live a decent life when your husband is no longer with you. An attorney is a good investment for your Peace of Mind.
A lot of great suggestions have already been given, however, to be sure you have everything covered, the one suggestion you should consider doing first is meet with a good eldercare attorney. We found an eldercare attorney who offered a free first consultation and then we only paid for the documents that were suggested that we agreed with... which in our case was every one. The attorney also verified that a lot of our info did not even have to be updated according to the laws in our state. Remember that answers here may be coming from well meaning people (possibly internationally) whose experiences do not mean you need to do as they were required.
Any attorney can prepare the documents you "think" you need but if they do not specialize in elder law, they may not be up to date on the latest law changes. We made this mistake before finding the eldercare attorney we are now working with. We could have saved a lot of money by verifying the first attorney's credentials. Each family has their own unique issues so one size does not fit all.
See an elder law attorney or a trust and estate attorney. Either can guide you in answering these questions. I myself would not do any paperwork I pulled off the internet. If it isn't enough in future then you cannot make changes.
If your husband is willing he should NOW appoint you as general POA to handle everything financial. If you need help hire a licensed fiduciary to teach you good record keeping. An attorney can advise about any future applications for Medicaid or placement and division of finances to protect YOUR assets if needed in future.
My brother was diagnosed with probable early lewy's dementia at age 83. At that time he asked me to be his POA and Trustee of his estate. It was a steep learning curve for me as I was at that time pushing 79 myself. But I did it. He had been well organized. We did the paperwork with an attorney.
There is a cost with an attorney, but at a time like this, as I said, you cannot afford to do this wrong. Get expert advice just as you would get expert advice for medical.
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. My brother and I took this journey to its end for him, and took it hand in hand together, discussing HONESTLY each step of the way what we both were experiencing. I value more than I can say, NOW, the beauty of that hard time, and well as its heartbreak.
Durable Power of Attorney. Will or Trust. DNR order if that is what he wants.
My step-mother is in MC with FTD, we had to take away her checkbook, credit cards and so on. We also had her drivers license revoked, she only has an ID card now. We handle all of her bills and paperwork.
Basically get all your ducks in a row, so sorry about this.
Blessing, Vascular Dementia my mother had this . You need to converse with Elder Law for suggestions. Im guess medical doctor explained that this condition. When the bodies blood doesn't get to brain as it should . This caused mother to past out. Like zone sleep or staring into space short and long period time 😔. If father still can write and comprehension. Suggestions documents to be sign by him known . To make traction so much easier. Propertys his name off deed. Transfered ,Vehicle ownership, check his policies make sure beneficiary are there . Work insurance . Any documents with is name on it . Bank accounts open another one with just you or mother transfer over large amounts . Leave only two months of funds in joint account. And transfer excess monthly . Who is father's POA for medical and financial. Is there a will .
Because once father not able to sign his name . Lots of hard work and finding. Get a attorney know or converse with Area For The Aging Agency free assistant and very helpful. Peace out blessed Father's Day
Find a elder attorney who will protect you and not just doa Trust . You can do power of attorney yourself or with attorney . Heath care proxy is easy . DNR - do they want to be intubated or any extreme measures ? If you feel you maybe threatened by a Greedy relative get a medical certificate on file stating his diagnosis and lack of judgement for financial decisions . Buy the burial plot - you have to give back the last social security check to the government . Get a service Like TaskRabbit in case you need home repairs , Get LYFT or Uber for Doctor appointments - find a senior service to get you a CNA that Medicare covers - get rid of his car or take the keys away . Get a therapist and a support system in place . Get your name on his bank account . Also get yourself an accountant .
Power of attorney will let you handle the finances. Medical power of attorney will let you handle medical decisions if you can prove he is not able to act in his best interest.
You might want to transfer ownership of your house and other assets into your own name. It may be too late for this--states usually require a 5 year period when he doesn't need care--but that would protect your home from a care facility using it as an asset to cover his costs if it came to that.
POA Will Advance Directive Make sure all bills are on Autopay Make sure you have his bank cards and access to his accounts. Taxes Trade his Drivers License for ID Social Security Medical/Medicare Purchase plot or cremation plan now.
Also user ids and passwords to his online accounts, such as PayPal, AppleID, Microsoft ID, Social Security Administration, Medicare, State Tax, banks, etc.
Make sure he has signed HIPPA agreements to allow you access to his medical records. Call Social Security and Banks to get you on the list so that you can inquire about his accounts.
Safe Deposit box? Transportation passes?
Sucessor trustee? Joint trustee? Real estate holdings, stock certificates?
I, highly, recommend using a certified elder law attorney (CELA). There are some listed in Ft. Worth. www.nelf.org
We found that they are FAR SUPERIOR to just elder law attorneys. Their rates are higher hourly but, they took the trouble to become a certified elder law attorney and it takes a fraction of the time for them to do anything. We had one elder law attorney quote 12k and the CELA did the same thing and then some for $1,200.00.
A good one will know what you need for your state and how to protect you if you guys travel any. They will also help you set things up with your assets and income and know how to get him help if there isn't any savings or assets and it's only your income that stops the aid.
Interview multiple attorneys to find the best fit for you. We didn't interview any that didn't do free consulations.
It can also be helpful to have a MOST or POLST form filled out as well, so you know exactly what he wants or doesn't want as far as extremes taken to save his life. And perhaps even having a DNR can be helpful.
You can't take his name off of any joint accounts until after he dies, and then you'll have to bring a copy of his death certificate to those financial institutions.
Since vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias(with a life expectancy of only 5 years)it might not hurt to get his funeral arrangements planned and paid for as well.
I'm sorry that you're facing this horrible disease with your husband. My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, and he died Sept. 2020.
The only up side(if there are any)is the fact that because it is very aggressive, our loved ones don't have to suffer and linger on for years and years like many of the other dementias. And to me that is a true blessing.
I pray that God will give you the strength, courage, and patience needed for this journey you're on with your husband.
Any attorney can prepare the documents you "think" you need but if they do not specialize in elder law, they may not be up to date on the latest law changes. We made this mistake before finding the eldercare attorney we are now working with. We could have saved a lot of money by verifying the first attorney's credentials. Each family has their own unique issues so one size does not fit all.
https://nelf.org/page/Whatcertification102518
If your husband is willing he should NOW appoint you as general POA to handle everything financial. If you need help hire a licensed fiduciary to teach you good record keeping. An attorney can advise about any future applications for Medicaid or placement and division of finances to protect YOUR assets if needed in future.
My brother was diagnosed with probable early lewy's dementia at age 83. At that time he asked me to be his POA and Trustee of his estate. It was a steep learning curve for me as I was at that time pushing 79 myself. But I did it. He had been well organized. We did the paperwork with an attorney.
There is a cost with an attorney, but at a time like this, as I said, you cannot afford to do this wrong. Get expert advice just as you would get expert advice for medical.
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. My brother and I took this journey to its end for him, and took it hand in hand together, discussing HONESTLY each step of the way what we both were experiencing. I value more than I can say, NOW, the beauty of that hard time, and well as its heartbreak.
My step-mother is in MC with FTD, we had to take away her checkbook, credit cards and so on. We also had her drivers license revoked, she only has an ID card now. We handle all of her bills and paperwork.
Basically get all your ducks in a row, so sorry about this.
Blessing, Vascular Dementia my mother had this . You need to converse with Elder Law for suggestions.
Im guess medical doctor explained that this condition. When the bodies blood doesn't get to brain as it should . This caused mother to past out. Like zone sleep or staring into space short and long period time 😔. If father still can write and comprehension.
Suggestions documents to be sign by him known . To make traction so much easier.
Propertys his name off deed. Transfered ,Vehicle ownership, check his policies make sure beneficiary are there . Work insurance . Any documents with is name on it . Bank accounts open another one with just you or mother transfer over large amounts . Leave only two months of funds in joint account. And transfer excess monthly . Who is father's POA for medical and financial. Is there a will .
Because once father not able to sign his name . Lots of hard work and finding. Get a attorney know or converse with Area For The Aging Agency free assistant and very helpful.
Peace out blessed Father's Day
You might want to transfer ownership of your house and other assets into your own name. It may be too late for this--states usually require a 5 year period when he doesn't need care--but that would protect your home from a care facility using it as an asset to cover his costs if it came to that.
Good luck, and I'm so sorry.
Will
Advance Directive
Make sure all bills are on Autopay
Make sure you have his bank cards and access to his accounts.
Taxes
Trade his Drivers License for ID
Social Security
Medical/Medicare
Purchase plot or cremation plan now.
Make sure he has signed HIPPA agreements to allow you access to his medical records. Call Social Security and Banks to get you on the list so that you can inquire about his accounts.
Safe Deposit box? Transportation passes?
Sucessor trustee? Joint trustee? Real estate holdings, stock certificates?
We found that they are FAR SUPERIOR to just elder law attorneys. Their rates are higher hourly but, they took the trouble to become a certified elder law attorney and it takes a fraction of the time for them to do anything. We had one elder law attorney quote 12k and the CELA did the same thing and then some for $1,200.00.
A good one will know what you need for your state and how to protect you if you guys travel any. They will also help you set things up with your assets and income and know how to get him help if there isn't any savings or assets and it's only your income that stops the aid.
Interview multiple attorneys to find the best fit for you. We didn't interview any that didn't do free consulations.
Good luck getting this all set up.
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