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Explaining the why and how of this condom catheter is pointless. He does not have any short term memory at all. He does not object to me putting it on him and hooking the tube to the collection bag, but it’s meaningless to him. Not sure how he gets it off so easily because when we first started with this there was no problem except removing the condom in the morning. I had to buy a special adhesive remover and even with that it was a challenge. So here we are going through 3 condoms a night but still having wet sheets, waterproof pads, blanket and even pillows every morning. I’m at my wits end.

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You can purchase anti-strip clothing so that he can't get at it to take it off.

https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits

Or, have him just use disposable briefs plus the anti-strip clothing. Whatever doesn't exhaust you!
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You can have his urologist put in a permanent catheter. It's called a supra pubic catheter, and he won't be able to pull it out.
My late husband was very incontinent and after trying all the bladder spasm medications and even having Botox put in his bladder he still was. So his urologist recommended that he get the supra pubic catheter, which was a Godsend as we were both finally able to sleep through the night and I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day.
But until then make sure he still wears his Depends, and you have waterproof pads under him that are large enough to keep the sheets at least dry.

You obviously are taking on way more than you can handle. I read your other post as well and it's time to look for another memory care facility that will be able to handle him. There are several different medications that can be given for his aggression. Your husband is not the first person that these places have had to deal with that have aggression.
There are places out there that will take him, so don't stop looking. Have a social worker help you in your search if needed.
I wish you the best in finding the right facility for him.
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This is a situation that causes caregivers to find a facility where husband can be cared for by professionals 24/7. You need to find one before this caregiving gig ruins your health and/or kills you.

Very sorry, and it's sad.
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I posted on your other thread. I’m so sorry that you are going through this nightmare.

I responded here so someone will see your posting and reply to your request for help.
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The OP has another thread where she explains her situation further. It’s a tragic situation. Please read it.
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betskand May 2023
How do I find the other thread? I'm very interested in this. I have a friend whose mother has been "invited to leave" several facilities because she pull off her colostomy bag and sprays the contents on people and furniture...
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I think Gleaton777's suggestion is a great one to try first.

I don't have experience with a condom catheter yet, but here are the products I have found to help with incontinence especially at night....

Briefs: Tranquility Overnight are excellent. Tranquility also offers a booster pad to place inside it for extra absorption. I use the overnights even in the daytime with the booster pad when we leave the house. You can purchase samples.

https://tranquilityproducts.com/product/tranquility-premium-overnight-disposable-absorbent-underwear-dau/
https://tranquilityproducts.com/product/tranquility-topliner-booster-pad/

Bed Pad: The Fusion Bed Pad is excellent. I got my first ones from my sister when her husband died. She had gotten them from an online neighborhood site. I was not impressed but decided to try one. It is by far better than any disposable or quilted pad. The website has videos showing the comparison. There have been mornings I actually had to place my hand on it to see that it was wet.

https://www.mipinc.com/products/categories/underpads/patient-care-underpads/fusion%C2%AE-underpads.html?classid=75&searchString=pad
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southiebella May 2023
100%. Same thing for my mother. She wears the Aways Discreet adult pullups and I keep an overnight pad (they're huge) inside of those as well. Sometimes in the morning it feels like it weighs 3 pounds but it prevents 99% of leaks.

I buy all of that at Walgreens.

Also she sleeps on a washable bed pad (I have two so one is always clean and ready) which is on top of a disposable bed pad.

Rarely does anything leak out of all of that and if it does, the bed pad protects the sheets and mattress.
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Inform his PCP regarding behavior.
His illness may have declined to other level of care needs consideration. The night before wetting is surely one immediate challenge that the PCP needs to be aware of and provide support to you for, but there seems to be other needs increasing; perhaps you want to have him assessed by a hospice your choice for possible hospice appropriateness to admit either for home care or facility care.
The supplies ( diapers, bed pads, other equipment, supplies) are provided by hospice and the multiple interdisciplinary professionals visiting can help both him and YOU !
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Lovemydoggies May 2023
Thanks for posting this link.
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Why fight it. Life is too short. I use bed pads for my wife and change her diaper and pads several times a day. Not my favorite job but it beats fighting.
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I think it's a good idea to speak to a urologist. There are more permanent catheters. You can choose between: (a) catheter that goes through the private parts, or (b) totally permanent solution, catheter going through the stomach (suprapubic catheter) (needs a small operation in the stomach to do it). But he absolutely mustn't yank at the tubes. So the doctor might not recommend either of these options (a) (b).

I think anyway you should speak to a urologist. Other option is as others mentioned: changing adult diapers several times a night. Put two adult diapers on at the same time, one on top of the other, so more can be absorbed, soaked.
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