I made sure there was someone with my husband around the clock when he was in the hospital. Hospital's -- even great ones -- are not equipped to deal with patients who have dementia. If MIL can't remember that she shouldn't get out of bed or won't believe it then she may need that kind of attention, too.
It would be a kindness for you and/or your husband to take a turn sitting with MIL.
I know this is odd. For what hospitals charge, can't they care for the patient? If 24 hour observation is needed, I guess the answer is No.
Really! We never left our Mother alone overnight while in the hospital or rehab. Both places are horribly understaffed (wherever they are located) and getting someone to come to the room for assistance can be a nightmare; especially for someone who is unable or shouldn't get out of the bed alone.
To me it was a safety feature and a concern for Mom's wellbeing. The nurses and aids so appreciated our help. They often mentioned how sorry they felt for patients whose family didn't or wouldn't stay with them.
I say goof for the SIL and FIL. I am sure MIL is glad to have someone with her.
In your in-laws' position, I'd probably try to do the same, on the grounds that if you want to be sure your relative is getting the round-the-clock caregiving (as opposed to skilled nursing) attention she needs, and you're not prepared to risk it, you'd better do it yourself.
I suppose many people are happy to do this on a voluntary basis for their own family members, so the 'system' factors that into the staffing equation. The question it leaves in my mind is: what happens to vulnerable, ill, elderly people who haven't got family? Do they get left to sink or swim?
Well, yes, they do. But since they haven't got family volunteers to care for them, they haven't got family agitators to get litigious either.
It's a shame that 24-hour care falls to the family but hospitals don't have the staff to provide 24-hour care. When I worked in a hospital we would try to get sitters from the float pool but more often than not no one was available so the family had to do it.
My mother, who has dementia, and was suffering a 'superimposed delirium' during her last hospital stay, needed a 24 hour watch. My mother was convinced that she was "in a dumpster with oriental homeless people who were trying to hold her down"; and that people were "walking about with cash registers."
If you step back and look at this from a "sane" point of few, the nursing staff told me my mother had become combative and threatening; she (mother) had called 911 from her hospital bed as her reasoning and judgement was severely impaired. The nurse on duty was of oriental descent, who was attempting to get her safely back into her bed, and had requested security staff and the attending police officer to assist her. This occured in the cardiac telemetry unit. The nurses push cardiac telemetry monitors about that sit on a rolling carts. As you can see, my mother's processing is declining and her brain used things from her long term memory that might have been "familiar" to her when it was working correctly. As you can see, her brain is not processing correctly.
All this aside, our town must have been at a superb as they provided a nurse to sit/monitor her 24/7 during her stay.
Indeed, I'm glad they offered the 24/7 watch. And I can easily see why.
Family is the only advocate a patient has. Thank God I was able to be with my Dad full time because we didn't know he was dying. I was with him and that made me feel somewhat better to know he wasn't alone. My Mom was in there and had a stroke during her stay. She was confused from the dementia and stroke and the doctor wrote in his orders to get a hospital sitter there at night because he knew I was worn out from losing Dad...then immediately taking over full time care of Mom.
Our whole family took turns 24/7 when Mother was hospitalized. I left that out earlier. You never know when a doctor will show up. There are just too many variables when an elderly person is hospitalized to ever leave them alone IMHO.
I don't leave anyone alone in the hospital, no matter their age. Just stepping out for coffee can be risky. I remember taking my son into the ER, for a couple of stitches and a nurse came in and said "OK. Let's irrigate this ear." Um, no. "Get out." :)
hugedoof where are you? Maybe I will move there. My mom's recent stay she pulled out IVs twice and the suction tube to stomach three times. She was on bed alarm, but that will not stop her from pulling tubes out. I was there for 12 or 14 hours a day. Brought in sitter one night until she went to sleep. Hospitals are just not staffed or trained to deal with those with dementia.
It would be a kindness for you and/or your husband to take a turn sitting with MIL.
I know this is odd. For what hospitals charge, can't they care for the patient? If 24 hour observation is needed, I guess the answer is No.
To me it was a safety feature and a concern for Mom's wellbeing. The nurses and aids so appreciated our help. They often mentioned how sorry they felt for patients whose family didn't or wouldn't stay with them.
I say goof for the SIL and FIL. I am sure MIL is glad to have someone with her.
In your in-laws' position, I'd probably try to do the same, on the grounds that if you want to be sure your relative is getting the round-the-clock caregiving (as opposed to skilled nursing) attention she needs, and you're not prepared to risk it, you'd better do it yourself.
I suppose many people are happy to do this on a voluntary basis for their own family members, so the 'system' factors that into the staffing equation. The question it leaves in my mind is: what happens to vulnerable, ill, elderly people who haven't got family? Do they get left to sink or swim?
Well, yes, they do. But since they haven't got family volunteers to care for them, they haven't got family agitators to get litigious either.
If you step back and look at this from a "sane" point of few, the nursing staff told me my mother had become combative and threatening; she (mother) had called 911 from her hospital bed as her reasoning and judgement was severely impaired. The nurse on duty was of oriental descent, who was attempting to get her safely back into her bed, and had requested security staff and the attending police officer to assist her. This occured in the cardiac telemetry unit. The nurses push cardiac telemetry monitors about that sit on a rolling carts. As you can see, my mother's processing is declining and her brain used things from her long term memory that might have been "familiar" to her when it was working correctly. As you can see, her brain is not processing correctly.
All this aside, our town must have been at a superb as they provided a nurse to sit/monitor her 24/7 during her stay.
Indeed, I'm glad they offered the 24/7 watch. And I can easily see why.
My Mom was in there and had a stroke during her stay. She was confused from the dementia and stroke and the doctor wrote in his orders to get a hospital sitter there at night because he knew I was worn out from losing Dad...then immediately taking over full time care of Mom.
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