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So most of you know our background. Mom has moderate to severe Alzheimer's & Dementia and lives five minutes down the road at a great Memory Care Home. She is currently about week four into a calm & content stage following several months of rage and unhappiness. She can't remember that she worked out at the gym earlier today, but for the second time, she's remembered to ask me about going to get her nails done.


As far as I know, she has never gotten a manicure before...


So should I take her? I'm not really sure how she would enjoy the "sensations" etc. being touched, files, warm water, clipped cuticles etc.


Not really a critical issue, but I thought you guys would have some good ideas. Thanks!

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My MILs MC gives the ladies "manicures" sometimes as an activity. If you are worried about how she will react,, can you give her one? I did my MILs while she was in rehab. A nice file, lotion, some pretty light polish.. a soak id she will do it. This way you can stop if she gets nervous. My MIL loves it. I always take hand lotion when I visit, and give her a good rubdown.. she loves the touching.
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A lot of facilities have people who come in to do manicures for their residents. Have you checked to see if her’s does? If you do take her, call the salon/spa and book a time when it’s not crowded just in case.
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If she is mobile you could schedule one for both of you and lunch or ice cream after. I have a very difficult dad but, I still try to find ways to make new better memories.
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Since she likely isn't allowed the tools to do her own nails at the memory care she must be allowing somebody to take care of them there, and if they are anything like the staff at my mom's nursing home they probably do a poor job. Talk to the manicurist and ask to keep it simple, you can always leave if mom doesn't like it.

(edit) another thought - At our nursing home they have manicure days, could your mom be talking about something like that where she lives?
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Did she leave the MC to go to a gym or is it on the MC campus? I ask, because, even though my LO seemed fine at her AL, when we returned after a trip out, she forgot where we were. She was confused and scared and didn't want to get out of the car and return to the AL (This was before she went to MC.) It was hard to get her to go inside and once there, I had to reintroduce her to the place and residents. It scared her and me. Later, she did the same thing at the MC. So, I'd just be prepared for her to forget where she is when you return her from the manicure. It sounds like a great idea though. I bet she would enjoy it.
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Thanks for all the great suggestions! To answer your question Sunnygirl, Mom goes to the gym and does weights with a trainer 3 times a week, and she goes out and "plays" cribbage once a week at the Senior Center. Her disease is progressing, showing up in ways like added trouble finding words, not being able to answer direct, simple questions, and reluctance to wash her hair. At least twice a week she calls me and wants to know why nobody has taken her to work out lately, in fact, she did it this evening and I reminded her that she went earlier today....LOL....good news is she laughed about it instead of screaming at me and calling me a liar.

I'll take all the good days and soak them up! I'm trying as best I can to prepare for when she forgets more and more, but honestly, I don't even know how. One day at a time!
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Oh, I see. So, she seems able to orient herself pretty well. She might enjoy a nice manicure. Sounds fun. Maybe, some sparkling apple cider to really make it special. For those who don't drink. I know alcohol is tricky with seniors, so that's why I suggest sparkling cider.
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I take my dad for manis and he loves it. His facility has someone come in and do them as a weekly event, but it's a fun thing to do together and it gets him out and about. We've gone to a few salons and I was worried at first that they might hurt him, sensations, etc. but it has been fine. I just make it a point to keep asking him for feedback - does it feel good, etc? - and then make sure the manicurist understands. Next time I may try to find a salon that does neck/shoulder massage and give that a try.
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I have just been inspired by your suggestions, there's actually a spa affiliated with our gym, next time I take her to her training session, I'll pop in to the spa and see what they offer.
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When my wife was in rehab last year i got her a manicure and she seemed to like it. Of course she was not the most co-operative customer. And with her aphasia communication was not always the greatest.
The rehab had a manicurist that visited on certain days. This was not covered by medicare. They also had a podiatrist visit by appointment for the feet and toenails. He even gave her a flower and medicare got the bill.
The case worker told me about this little perk and we both felt good about it. Now I take her in for one about every month or so.
Now I need to find a good hair dresser, not a fad stylist.
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I have a lady who comes to my home to do my nails - she is a delightful lass and she would always ask your Mum - " Is this Okay "
I live in Bundaberg - I am not sure of your location.
If you need more information ~ please do stay in touch - Alison Paris
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My mom had vascular Demetia and up until the end (badly broken hip from a fall) we had manicures and pedicures together. It was one of her favorite time and good memories for me. Do it!
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Go for it and you may find it helpful for you both. Being pampered has always been a great relaxer. As long as the nail artist is aware of older minds.

Enjoy
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If you wanted one would you get one for you? If course of she still wants one by all means take her to get one, doesn't have to be expensive. Short nails pretty color. My mom never put anything on her nails till she hit 86, now she puts polish on herself.
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Try do her nails yourself or find someone who will come to her
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I take my mom for a mani pedi twice a month. She gets gel nails on her hands and a regular pedi. She lives with me and it’s something we do for fun. There is a lady at the nail salon that has mostly older clients and she is the one who does my mom’s pedi.
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My mom is 93, has dementia pretty significantly. I get her hair "done" cut and color every month at a salon and have her nails and feet done 100% of the time, I think feeling and looking pretty is a great thing. She likes being part of life.
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First:
JOHN that is wonderful. You're a loving GOOD son to do this for her. Be sure to continue.Iiknow it helps...
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IsThisReal? I agree. and hola chica. (and thread starter/original poster JJGOOD)i say yes!Do it!
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ISTHISREAL:
With my father he is (not)difficult, as you're citing on your loving dad, as dad love to go out, and then rest/nap and relax late afternoon or just stay up and relax/eat another snack laugh talk!

But i agree, she should take her to get a mani (a manicure) yes! I sure would.I take dad out just about daily, and at times 2x a day or on a 1 to 2 hr.drive even at times, stop at different local places,and i try to make sure he is always "Active" and it helps him with his (not severe alz/dementia)as he has the more "short term memory loss"and remember all his childhood! amazing how that is."and his other things in life but just the "short term"as of right now he suffer from short term memory loss,then it "returns"if i mention it to him he "Remember!" so to the woman who asked if she should take her loving mother for a manicure, YES! DO IT! ENJOY! as other posters cited "maybe ice cream after"or do something else. .I do this all the time with dad, would stop at a fast food place even for his favorite chicken nuggets, or ice cream cone for him, while me and mommie, we see how much he REALLY enjoy it. It helps,and his dr., agree "outings always help"and we are seeing that.
God bless you all.
Adios.
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If it would make her happy, sure. But, when I used to paint my Moms nails, she would always mess them up before they were dry.
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The care center where my parents live do all the patients nails every week. My Mom also has Alzheimer’s and she enjoys getting her nails done, she shows me her pretty nails and about every 2 weeks gets her hair done too as they have a beauty shop in the Long Term Care Center.
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I would arrange to take her, get one yourself and sit next to her for the entire time. Let the tech know ahead of time she has A&D so they know what to expect should she have an outburst.

There is a video on Youtube called alive inside... I urge you to watch it
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Why not? I bet she would go with the flow and enjoy it.
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Go for it. The Memory Home might have a manicurist on site - maybe she saw another woman getting a manicure and she wants one. I'd say, go for it.
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I took my mom twice for a pedicure age 87. She never had one. First time was great she loved it. She said she was scared, but ended up loving it and I took pictures. Second time not so good, but it was unbeknownst to me her last few months alive and her mind was going fast. I was glad I took her one never knows when you get to this age what the reaction may be. If your facility offers one, see how she reacts, if good hurray, if not, stop immediately even if it is not finished.
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Often the only way to know is by doing - try and see how she reacts.
Have you asked her? I agree with others: it is a lovely activity for you and your mom to do together. Be aware that often an 'extensive' massage is offered with the manicure (or/and pedicure). You might need to tell them to 'go easy' on the massage-gentle is better, if any.
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Hi JJGood19,

My mother-in-law had advanced Alzheimer's & Dementia. She lived with my husband and I until she passed away. On a routine basis we had an RN that specialized in going to elderly homes to provide toenail trimming and for a reasonable rate.

The RN used a Dremel, (I would not have tried - lol). Nothing fancy thereafter, like polish, just the trimming and filing with the Dremel, which made her toenails look great. My mother-in-law liked having it done, and she never complained or expressed any fright.

Taking her out to have it done would have been difficult, and she may have been frightened about it. I believe getting her nails done in our home added to her comfort level for feeling safe during the procedure. Otherwise, for her it would have been like going to the doctor or lab, and she wasn't always comfortable with those surroundings.
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Old Sailor. That is so nice. Good going.

John
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Bring her.....my mom has moderate / severe and most often is not happy...however she loves manicures for some reason. The gals at the place are AMAZING w her...we go when it is not too busy and mom is the best she is all day!!!! Try it one time....she deserves it
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My mom loved going for pedicure and manicure every other week until she was close to stage 7. We have a great little spa and chose a day and time that was not busy. The ladies were so good with mom.

For the past couple of years, I have been giving her Mani-pedi at home. Most of the time now that only involves clipping her nails and applying lotion ;-)
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JJGood: You may be able to perform this yourself and she may be more comfortable with you doing it.
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