Looking for ideas to make clothing selection easier for 92 yr. old wife in mid-stage dementia or is there someone I can hire?

Can you not ask the same caregiver that comes to give you days of respite to help you sort out what should stay and what should not? To me that would be the simplest solution.
And make sure that whatever clothing you decide not to keep, that you donate it to one of the many charities in your area that are in desperate need of clothing.

Can you help her the night before to select what she wants to wear the next day?
I am sure you can select outfits that will be just fine.
No matter what she picks out tell her she looks beautiful.
As you replace clothes select items that will all go together no matter what she picks out. There are stores that have "personal shoppers" but I do not think that something like that would be necessary. When you are buying clothes you can always ask either a sales person or just some random person and say.."I am buying these for my wife, do you think this all goes together" You will get honest answers and people will be happy to help.

You can try hanging outfits that you know she wears, on one hanger and then it is a matter of grab and dress.

Pare down the items you actually keep in her room to two or three outfits and store everything else somewhere out of sight out of mind, you can then bring in different items when something she has worn goes into the laundry. If she starts to fuss about missing certain items just fib and say they are being cleaned.

In this situation, I would donate or consign almost everything (get the extras out of the house) and purchase (or select from her wardrobe) 7-10 tops and 7-10 bottoms that are all or substantially the same outfit. In other words: make her a uniform.
Fewer decisions means less stress for everyone and more time for meaningful interactions.

When mom lived in Memory Care Assisted Living, I'd put her outfits together on hangers with the coordinated costume jewelry hanging from the neck. Pay attention to the outfits your wife wears, click a photo on your phone, then put those outfits on hangers for her in the closet, like I did.

Sure. Hire your respite people who get her looking so great to assist you with organizing things and eliminating things.
Don't mention eliminating to wife, however. She may not want to give up anything.
And do know that he going meticulously through these things over and over in this "fashion" is a bit of an exercise in looking at and touching the things she loves, her "stuff". And also a bit of an OCD compulsion.
If it doesn't cause her anxiety I would not worry about it, myself.

I did what lea did but because it was easiser for me. The aides in the AL and later a NH really did not care if Mom matched. I also did her laundry so wanted the wash in sets. I put a pair of slacks with the top that matched on same hanger. Later I added a bra that the aides seemed to not get on because it was in a drawer they got her socks out of. Since she was already dressed, they didn't bother to put it on and she needed it.

Mom wore slacks and tops. I made sets and got rid of the rest. She had nine outfits. She liked socks so I got colors to match outfits. That did not work once she was in care so I went to all white. Love Lea's idea about putting matching jewelry on the hanger. Make her life as simple as possible. Start with her chosing from 3 outfits, to two to just one. Like suggested, only have in her closet and drawers those 3 things to chose from.

THanks to everyone for your terrific suggestions. I've tried assisting and laying out but she's too independent for that. Unfortunately that's common. Need help but too independent to accept it. I will try same hanger pairing. Jewelry is a DON'T TOUCH subject. Her paranoia won't let anyone touch her jewelry. There is so much missing already but it's from her hiding it from herself. 🤣🤣 Funny about my Caregiver help. We just love her to death but a Susie Homemaker she's not. 🤣🤣 I will try your suggestions but I tell ya, it is soo stressful for a guy like me. She has such beautiful things but I hear ya. She like vibrant colors so that what I'll build her pairs with. Thanks to all. And yes, they will all be donated to our local Save the Closet org.

After pairing up a few sets of clothes for her to wear maybe also think about having buttons on blouse’s/shirts removed and sew Velcro strips in place of buttons.
I’m doing this for my 88 year old dad since his fingers are so nimble he struggles with the buttons.
Most any local alterations store will be able to help with this.

If she doesn’t want you to build outfits for her, she probably won’t like if you hired someone to do it.

Id say pick out 2 outfits for each day to best if your ability. Take all other choices out of closet. Put all other clothes in a locked closet/room. Then she can choose one to wear between the two you’ve layed out. Let her do the jewelry. Try to build her daily outfits from stuff you’ve seen her wear previously,

I had a lock put on our main closet for this same issue. If she tries the locked closet just say the door sticks & you need to hire guy to fix it.

This phase will probably pass so be patient.

Keep us posted what works!

I just read ur response from Feb 13 with the smiley faces. Caring for someone with Demenia is very hard especially when ur someone like me who likes order and predictability which Dementia is not either of these things. My Mom was easy but I could not deal with the unpredictability. I could not laugh at certain situations because I felt I was being disrespectful.

My DD is an RN who has worked in NHs for 25 yrs. She told me early on "Its better to laugh than cry". To be a Caregiver, even to those hard to deal with parents, I think the people who deal with it best are the ones who bring humor into the situation.

Mom: I want to come live with you.
Child: I don't think so Mom, we would end up killing each other. (Said with a smile)

Just remember, she is not doing these things on purpose or to push your buttons. She can't help it. Gladvyou have someone to help with her care.

NoTree: Good job thus far.

My husband does the same thing. I am one of those people who have my entire closet color coded by outfit and season. I finally did the same thing for my husband. Every morning, I pick out two outfits that I like and tell him they are my favorite. And then he picks one. I am told that it is common for people with dementia to sort and resort their clothes closet. My father did the same thing. When my husband wants to do that, I don't interfere because it keeps him entertained.

https://www.buckandbuck.com/mens-adaptive.html

Silvert's, Geri Fashions,

https://www.blair.com/product/khaki

If you put "shirts for men that zip up the front" in search you will see other vendors.

When volunteering, I was assigned one day to a lovely older lady who like to keep looking smart & well dressed & accessorised. I had noticed prepared outfits ('paired' tops & bottoms on each hanger) for other residents not for this lady. I was told she like to choose for herself. I learnt quickly on day 1 that an open closest door gave her confustion & anxiety.

I spread out two nice tops. She rejected both. I choose again & she chose. I selected 2 trousers, she chose. She choose her accessories herself while I tidied up. We chatted about fabrics, a liberty patterned shirt she loved but it didn't stretch, the cut of a polo, a hard piped edge or label she disliked. A salmon pink item she couldn't remember why she ever bought that!

I had a ball - I can talk fashion 😁
The lady seemed to appreciate not being rushed & to talk fashion too.

If you can find the right aide (like a Lady's Maid role of days of old) to visit once or twice a week to help with bathing, dressing & reorganising the wardrobe, this may lighten this task from you. A good personal attendant can be a wonderful source of support & companionship too.

You sound like a wonderful caring man. Best wishes to both of you.

Limit what is available in her closet.
Give her less options.

The key is that she is comfortable and warm enough.

Put locks on the other closet doors otherwise she'll continue to go in them.

As someone mentioned below, you do not ask her what she wants to wear today; you provide two options and she chooses one.

Donate what you take out of the closet. Of course, you do this when she is not home. Yes, you could hire a person to help you although I do not see where this is necessary. Once you 'take more control' of the situation, you sh/c/ ould do it - if you want to. If you want to hire someone, I am sure there are MANY students in college (art, fashion, geriatrics) that would love to help you out.

[I'm a fabric designer and would love to work with you/r mom ... actually I do assist clients in cleaning out their closets and making these kinds of decisions ... which leads me to:

It is important though to understand the degree / level of dementia and what the person is cognitively capable to do. It sounds like your wife is perhaps unable to actually make a decision. In that case, I would try placing an outfit 'out' and available for her to wear and see how that goes. STILL ... you need to take a lot of clothes unavailable / out of the closet.

You want to keep her as calm as possible, not activate frustration and confusion due to her inability to make a decision.

Gena / Touch Matters

I would get her a limited selection of clothing that all looks the same.

Consider taking a page out of children's fashions - garanimals. Garanimals are clothing that are designed so that all the tops go with all the bottoms. Select 2 basic colors for her coats, pants, skirts. Then limit her tops to those that go with all the bottoms. Pare down shoe selections to a gym shoe type that goes with all her jeans and casual clothes, a flat shoe or one with a very low heel, a pair of sandals for summer time, and a pair of dressy shoes that go with all her nicer/dressier clothes. Pare down purses to an everyday purse that matches shoes and a dressy purse to special occasions. She should have enough clothes to pick from that she has enough to wear for 7 days or a few days longer. You might consider rotating between summer/spring clothes and fall/winter clothes in her closet and drawers. Put off-season clothing away in an area she won't go through.