My mother in law has been showing signs of dementia for the last 5 or six years. She has been examined twice in that time by two different neurologists and they both said that same thing. "No signs of alzheimer's or dementia beyond what a woman of 86 years would ordinarily have.
She is due for another appointment with the neurologist soon.
She often seems confused and asks the same question several times in a short span of time. The thing is, she really only does this with her daughter (my wife). She seems quite lucid with every other family member.
She cannot seem to sit still for any period of time and is constantly looking for her glasses, jacket, sweater, etc.
In her defense, she also suffers from anxiety (which she is taking medication for) and very poor eyesight.
There are times when we have to go somewhere, and when it's time to leave, all of a sudden she cannot see well enough, stand without almost tumbling over, and walk without (what I perceive to be) an extremely exaggerated shuffle. (One minute later, she walks with the gusto of a young person on a mission and the eyesight of a falcon).
I know it sounds harsh, but I cannot help thinking that this is all an act to garner more attention from my wife.
Does anybody have any insight?
Used to be always pottering around, always busy. Now may appear to others to have no short memory as keeps asking/talking about same issues. Her memory may indeed be slipping with age too but I know her behaviours of checking, rechecking & endless loops of complusive thinking cause this in her.
Going anywhere as a kid became a nightmare for a while. Endless checking windows were locked, oven was off etc. The fear was real to her - would paralyze her. Not to shuffling walk but definately not seeing something right in front of her.
I too get *sad Mum* that tells me "I'm sad I had a stroke". This pity speech seems to be only rehearsed for me.
So good question Isthisreal! I've wondered the same thing myself! Only a neuro eval by a trained expert I think could work it out. Either way, she's old, kindness will always be kind.
The other tricky thing about your MIL is the poor eyesight. When an elder has poor eyesight, combined with poor balance and maybe poor hearing thrown in, they have trouble figuring out where they are in space. That can throw them off kilter in general.
So, really, who knows what's happening with your MIL? She could be Showtiming with the other family members........bringing out her Best Face and relying on small talk & muscle memory to show how 'with it' she is, while with your wife, the 'real' her comes out. That's another possibility. But at 86, I'm sure she's not as 'with it' as she used to be, that's for sure!
Best of luck!