My mom was diagnosed with Dementia (moderate, but I question that) and colon cancer final stage, and shes bedbound, and is fighting everyone tooth and nail with her care,for one thing she refuses to believe she is ill but Hospice is involved because she has less than 6 months to live, and everytime nurses show up to clean/bathe her,she refuses it,sometimes profanely, there are times she won't even let me touch her and just lays in her own filth for days, yes I had a Cognitive Eval done on her and the Hospital said out of 30 she was 15 and was able to make her own decisions, that was over a month ago, I'm at my wits end, I try to keep her clean as possible, and even mentioned long term care,...well she either blows up or agrees, it depends on her mood, and whats worse she already ran off a in home care agency cause she was difficult and they turned her in to APS (Adult Protective Services) for self neglect, and they are still involved trying to get her in a home, but getting my mom to do an assesment for Medicaid is proving even more difficult, it was suggested that I try to get Guardianship, (medical) which is fine, but I fear that she may be given the "all clear" once again, I'm just at a loss as what to do, the rest of her family could care less and I'm an only child so I have no siblings to turn to.
So it might be worth checking for calming meds that aren’t slow release, and putting them in her food.
So it might be worth checking for calming meds that aren’t slow release, and putting them in her food.
So it might be worth checking for calming meds that aren’t slow release, and putting them in her food.
A score of 15 on a MoCA test indicates moderate dementia......under 10 indicates severe dementia. Your mother cannot be left alone at all AND is not able to make sound decisions for herself!
Your profile says you work long shifts full time. Who's caring for mom while you're working?
Get her calmed down significantly with medication and THEN get her assessed for Medicaid. If you have POA, you can place her against her wishes, with a diagnosis of dementia, which she has.
Good luck.
Or
Do you live with your mother?
If your mother lives with you APS needs to assist you in finding placement for her; she is diagnosed.
If you live with her you need to give over her care to the State since you are in no control of her, and by allowing her to be in her own filth while you live with her or her with you may be considered neglect. As there is already a case opened by APS you need to participate with them in getting Mom into care and medicated.
What happened when APS came out?
Wishing you peace.
do your best….
Adult wipes… get areas clean fast… maybe not as you’d like… better than nothing..
get meds evaluated…
calming tea, etc…
she is scared and frustrated… she knows she’s not as good as she used to be… love her for who she is…
Reassure her.
I had to make the decision between my sibling's ranting and my parent's need to rant and control, that I'm first. My tactic is to answer both of them simply, directly, and without reservation as to what I will and will not put up with.
I know you said your mother has dementia, however, you have some personal decisions to make concerning your own mental health and well being. From what you said, your mother needs more help than you can provide for her. AND - with APS being involved, there's a legal aspect that is no longer within your control. Acceptance is key in your situation and it seems to be what's needed. What you may want to do, is to speak to an attorney and find out EXACTLY what can be done. As far as your mother's behavior, there's nothing you can do about that except to be simple and direct (nicely of course). But if she's been given only 6 months, it may surprise you that none of this will even matter within the coming weeks/months as her situation will change and can do so quickly.
Try also getting some support and seek out some groups in your area for aging/care giving. That will also help more than you know.
Love and Luck,
Tired62
You already have APS involved. I don’t know if your local Agency of Aging would be able to do anything more but it could be worth a try . Hopefully others will have ideas .
I doubt she would be going to the hospital since she is on hospice. But if she does, tell them the situation . Maybe they can help you get mom placed in a facility .
Good luck .