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Stella Rosa wine she drank. My father found her in her bedroom face down on floor. There was dry vomit near her. My dad speculate she choked on vomit She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer. Her death certificate : cardio pulmonary arrest and multiple organ failure.

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Wish I had thought of that when my mother was departing, oh how she loved her Cuttysark (Blended Scotch Whisky); just hoping she was greeted on the other side with mariachis and guacamole. Until we meet again sweet mama.
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You probably helped her enjoy her last day.
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No way to transition to the next level without a party! God Bless you for making that possible for her. She partied til the lights went out.

Yes! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCRZZC-DH7M

Favorite Quotes - “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman
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Tagtae Nov 2022
Totally agree on your “what a ride” quote!
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It was a blessing in disquise.
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The wine 🍷 relieved her of her pain she would have had because of the cancer. I think it was actually a good deed. Don’t feel guilty. Better than chemo🙏🏼❤️🍷 🤗
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The wine brought your mom some pleasure. Be happy that you gave her a chance to enjoy something she liked on her last day! What a gift to her. You certainly did not cause her death, she had bile duct cancer which sent her into multiple organ failure and cardiac arrest. She was able to toast her life thanks to you!!!!
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Your mother passed away due to 'cardio pulmonary arrest and multiple organ failure' brought on by bile duct cancer. You enjoyed a lovely visit with your mom that day whereby she enjoyed some wine. What you did is you made her last day on Earth nice & pleasant before God chose to take her Home. Please don't feel ANY guilt for spending that time with mom and allowing her to enjoy her favorite wine. Her health conditions were so far gone by then, that nothing could have saved her Sandy.

My condolences on your loss. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, knowing that you did nothing to contribute to mom's passing.
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No, you didn't cause mom's death. You made her last hours on earth pleasant & special.

My FIL drank a glass or three of wine every night. He died because he had leukemia and that's what took him.

She died because her life here was done. And having imbibed on some of her favorite wine just probably made the passing more pleasant.

I'm sorry for your loss. But, you didn't cause it.
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My friends Dad was in the hospital for three months after a fall. The night he died he had all his daughters in the room with him and he seemed very coherent. She said that her Dad looked at each one, told them he loved them and that he may be going home the next day. They all gave him some love and then left him. Now to let you know he was in ICU at the time and there was no way he was going home and they knew that. However they did not realize that he was going to his heavenly home. By the time they returned home they received a phone call from the ICU that her Dad had passed away. So with that being said your mom was having a time of being coherent and you were able to spend time with her and I am sure you shared some memories. Hold those good memories in your heart and know that she loved you very much! Cyber hugs for you!
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I agree look at it as a blessing. You had a good visit and she enjoyed her favorite wine.
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I’m sorry for your loss. My husband’s grandfather got up in the night to use the bathroom, fell and died. At the time we were all stunned and couldn’t believe this was how his life ended, it seemed so cruel. Now that we have the benefit of some time, and seeing some much crueler fates, we know this was a kind way to leave this world. It was quick and painless, here one minute and gone the next. I would think this was much like what your mother experienced. She was elderly with a rotten health issue, your brought her some joy, and then she left. I’m sure she knew your love. Please don’t waste time on the useless emotion of guilt for you did nothing wrong, spend time treasuring beloved memories instead. I wish you healing and peace
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“Guilt” is a cruel, useless, self-inflicted emotion that helps or changes NOTHING that has passed.

You are not in control of any universe.

Forgive yourself of what you erroneously think was your “fault”. It wasn’t.

Be at peace with the love you felt for each other, and move forward.
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Sounds Like she was on her way Out and perhaps in a Lot of Pain . The wine probably eased the Pain . Give yourself a break . I hope someone brings me wine when I am dying .
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Sounds like you had a nice visit with Mom that she enjoyed as well. What a blessing to leave this life with the warm memory of a pleasant afternoon with her daughter. Be kind to yourself.
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Look at it this way. A person with no health conditions could probably drink wine and have no ill effects. You didn't cause her health conditions and you meant well bringing her her favorite wine.

Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sorry for your loss.
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So sorry for your loss Sandy.
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Sandy - please don't feel guilty. You didn't cause her death. She was 86 with multiple health issues hence the multiple organ failure.

Look on the bright side, she was able to enjoy her favorite wine on her last day. Not many people got that chance. Really.

Don't beat yourself up. There are much worse ways to check out, and hers wasn't bad at all.
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No, you didn't cause it. The wine was her choice. She had been diagnosed with a cancer. You certainly did.not cause it!
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I’m very sorry for your loss. As people age, their bodies can’t handle the effects of alcohol as well. Alcohol interacts with their medications, sometimes with disastrous effects. Several glasses of wine seems like quite a lot for a woman of her age and medical issues, but if she willingly imbibed it, that was her choice. Again, my condolences.
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JeanLouise Oct 2022
Fawnby, I think this response is cruel. Why unnecessarily compound sandycody doubts? Does piling on help another sad soul? This is exactly why some people hesitate to reach out on this forum.
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