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I can't get her to calm down. She thinks she's been here for weeks and it's been two days. She says she's going to take her money, that she thinks we are stealing or keeping from her and take off so none of us can see her again. Help. What can I do?

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I can relate to it. My mother is facing the same issue. She becomes upset for no reason and starts crying like a baby. Despite dementia, she is normally a cheerful, easy-going person with a sense of humor, but that has changed for several weeks. I don't know if this will ever pass. She has been on Anti-depressants and Lithium and B12 supplements for weeks, but that didn't help. However, my friend Cynthia asked me to change her diet entirely into a natural ingredient-based diet. So we started using some ayurvedic herbs in her daily staple. Honestly, we could see some changes. I don't know if it will work in the long run, but it is currently working.
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Devans, how is your mom today?
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Devans60 Oct 2021
She is ok. Still upset occasionally but not as bad. Still going over everything repeatedly.
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Yes, do check for a medical reason such as UTI. Just takes a little chemistry change to knock older folks off their balance. Poor thing. Take care:)
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2021
Is that a white shepherd hiding behind that ghost costume?
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Your profile states that your mother lives with you. How's that been going (outside of the crying)? How did you end up having your mother move in with you? Are you satisfied with the arrangement?
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Especially when someone with memory issues is feeling very distressed (and a recent move does it) it feels all they can say is NO.
A lot of decisions need to made for her, or with a choice of only 2 options.
I'd agree with other commenters - go for a ride to calm down, end up at urgent care. CVS tends to have a clinic right inside the store, so if there is one near you, that may work out.
A UTI would come from drinking less (can't remember where the bathroom is, embarrassed to have to get up and go during a conversation, AND/OR poor toileting hygiene due to anxiety, not being sure where things are in a new place, etc.)
When life is calmer, a manicure at home can start with gentle washing in antiseptic soap....helps with the hygiene.
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Wow, this is stressful! Did you move her away from her doctors? If so that explains why it's hard to get her in anywhere. I would take her to the ER. Don't tell her where you are taking her. If she continues to act up on the ride, as I expect she will, then you can almost honestly say that you thought a ride would calm her down and then when she continued to escalate you figured the ER would be best bet. If she freaks if you try to take her anywhere, call 911. It sounds like she needs something to calm her down ASAP.

Good luck.
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I think I'd say you are taking her out for a ride and then go to ER.

Otherwise, call 911. She needs for a bunch of things, including a UTI to be ruled out.

And please ket us know how this works out. We care!
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I’d let her do that! Just kidding. I’ve heard that before from my dad. Utter bs!
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You can have her hospitalized for depression (crying all the time) even though the primary diagnosis is probably Alzheimer’s. In the hospital you can get a diagnosis fro a neurologist and say you can’t take her home and the social worker can find her a nursing home bed. If you don’t like the home, you can switch her later.
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One thing to consider, change is extremely overwhelming for someone with Alzheimer/Dementia. 2 days is not long in her confused mind.

After confirming that she doesn't have a UTI ask about something to help calm her down long enough to settle in.

You guys are also changing seasons and that can cause upset and confusion.

I hope that she settles down soon.
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Devans60 Oct 2021
I don’t understand where a UTI comes in? … never mind I looked it up. Now to get her to agree to go.
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Devans60, make some excuse to get your Mom to Urgent Care to be tested for an Urinary Tract Infection {UTI] as such an infection can cause a boat load of different things in someone older. If the test comes back positive, it can be treated.
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