My father needs 24/7 care and can't be left alone. I am primary but don't get paid. My probation requires that I work. They won't transfer it and threatened to violate my probation unless I show documentation that I am caregiver. I don't know what to do. I have less than a year to complete probation. And I'm not even supposed to be out of the county. I drive back and forth 400 miles roundtrip. There is no one else to care for him.
She has asked her PO for a transfer to the new county where dad lives but so far PO has been dragging their feet on it. Her PO said she needs to have a job by the time she meets with her PO again otherwise she is in violation.
Something will have to give. Either she stays in her county and finds a job or keeps staying at dad's, violating parole and risks going back to prison.
Sounds like you are focousing on dad instead of yourself and what you need to do to get your life back on track.
If you were still in prison how would your dad be getting help today?
If dad needs 24/7 care more than likely he should be in a care home.
Another solution why not move dad to where you live rather than going to dad 400 miles away.
My advice would be to ask your new probation officer what they would require for you. This may be problematic as you will not be paid, if I am correct, and I believe they want you to have a paid job. Otherwise how can you live?
In any case, ask your new probation officer. Then you may need to get a letter from your parent and your parent's MD indicating that they require someone doing in home help.
Quite honestly, if probation says there's no answer to this, then there isn't, and your parent may need to go into care, at least while you finish probation. It may be better to let parent be a ward of the state through the courts as they will assign a fiduciary to find safe in home OR placement, and will handle applications to medicaid and so on if needed.
I am sorry. This won't be easy, but I suspect throwing yourself on your probation officer's mercy is about the best you can do right now. I sure wish you luck.
Maybe you need to have APS (Adult Protection Services) in Dads county to come in and evaluate Dad for 24/7 care. Then they can write your PO a letter saying that Dad needs a Caregiver and since he has no money to pay for it, you need to be that Caregiver. Can you have your probation switched over to the county Dad lives in? Then u can live with or near him.
I can't believe a PO could be that callous. It may just be he is doing his job which is you abiding by the probation rules.
Please note up to 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were taking care. What would your Dad do?
I see from his profile he is only 64 years old, but like your said his drinking has accelerated his medical issues. Can your Dad budget for senior living like living in Independent Living where he has to take care of himself, but there are Staff available if he needs help. And you are too young not to have a career for yourself so you can be ready for retirement at a later time.
Contact the Texas Department of Medicaid [Medicare is something else] to see what options your Dad may have for his care. If he was in the military, he might find living at a VA facility the best thing for him.
Right now he has so much going on with his health that his primary care phys sees him once a week. Just this week I have assisted my dad in submitting an application of assistance for Medicaid through the states DDHS office. I plan to call and try to get an advisor of some kind from that office and talk to them about it. Thank you for you advise
Talk to your probation officer about what is going on and solicit her/his help is getting social services involved in getting him placed,
You need a proper job.
What would he do if you didn't come?
If you lived in a remote corner of the world, of out of phone contact? Or you were too ill & undergoing cancer treatment?
He would be forced to CHANGE his life. That's what.
He may be using you as an excuse not to change his life. It may work... maybe you will both enjoy living together. Or not. Maybe your own life will get sucked away & you will both be living HIS life.
I say find a job you like. In a town you like. Build the life you want.
help. And my dad does know that, he does consider what sacrifices I've made. And he has worked and supported our family all our lives. Right now, this is as new to him as it is to myself and my little brother. He just barely retired early for reason of his glaucoma and he became legally blind according to the system. He is only 64 and his sight was the only thing that was effecting him, up until about 2 yrs ago. His health has depleted very fast. The doctors blame mostly the "Poison" he's been ingesting for so many years has took it's most definite toll on him. And has led to a number of his health problems. Anyway, just last year or maybe 2 yrs now, he's been receiving SSDI. Just this October his Medicare A/B/D started. And it's so hard to understand and get right. I stay on the phone trying to establish what's covered, not covered, who sent home care and why his MRI hasn't been approved yet, etc.... So many problems and so many issues going on, from my side with probation and his with all the medical appts. And things. I'm sure maybe when we get rolling we will maybe find programs to aid and assist in care and be more knowledgeable but as of now, I am all he's got. If I wasn't here, no one would be. He'd be most likely on the floor, and alone. At least till my brother went by to check on him. As for daily, 24/7 care, it's just me. It is very hard. Don't get me wrong. I do need time and info need my own money and career path and life in general. But for now this is what I have to do. I so appreciate your concern and your advise and opinion on the matters. And you are absolutely right. But it's the only way I know for the moment.
besides that tho. At 24/7, elders oft have day to day issues like needing to be toileted or bathed. Stuff that gets ppl to snap. When you were in, did you program with the programs that teach this kind of patience, such as the ducats that shower and change residents at San Quentin or Stockton? A program rehabbing pound dogs for adoption? Those things would greatly help.