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Only one person attended my mom's memorial service. I kept in touch with these people & although I was away from the job for almost 5 months there were never any issues... A collection for me was not made. Not even a mass card or sympathy card. I was not looking for anything but a little support. I'm sad.. I have very little family and am now alone. Am I overreacting?

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It's in times like these that we learn who our true friends are. It sure doesn't speak highly of your co-workers does it? I'm sorry that you've been let down by these people, when you needed them the most. I find it very sad, and no, I don't think you're overreacting. Don't worry though, you will be greatly blessed for taking such great care of your mom, when she needed you the most. You have my deepest sympathies.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I was still working when my parents passed on (6years apart). I received sympathy cards from individual coworkers but no department recognitions. I did attend a grief support group which helped greatly. Try to find one in your area.
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I’m sorry for your loss, and sorry that things are not going the way that you think they should. It can be very hard to ‘get back to normal’ after the overwhelming experience of a death, and hard to grasp how little it may mean to other people at work.

I may be going against the flow here, but I do think that you may be over-reacting. The important bit for me is your comment that you are ‘being treated very differently’. In what way? How is the current treatment hurting you? Many people of our age have lost parents, and many people have been badly affected by fear, loss, poverty and loneliness in the last year. Is it possible that you are expecting special treatment that doesn’t fit well with other people, especially now?

In my experience, attending the funeral of a work colleague’s parent would be quite unusual unless there was a personal connection with the parent. I have never heard of a ‘collection’ for the work colleague, and wonder why you would expect it. Sympathy card possibly, but more likely a brief comment of personal sympathy.

If you feel that you are ‘being treated very differently’, it would be a good idea to look at your own behavior and expectations to see why they may be reacting badly.
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Very unfortunate set of circumstances - and I wish you well. Sure hope things turn out differently for you in the near future. I can imagine how difficult this is for you. Please keep us posted on how things are going. jim, in texas
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Are you overreacting? I think sorrow and pain can make one more sensitive. Having expectations sets us up for disappointment, but to receive no acknowledgement or support is shocking and, yes, saddening. Many churches host grief support groups. They don't advertise so you'd have to do an online search or call their offices. May you have peace in your heart and healing in your spirit as you move through your grief.
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It’s very hard for co-workers to take off without pay or have to use their paid time off to attend a co-workers family members funeral. I think your expectations were a little high. And I’ve never heard of taking up a collection for someone.
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Cindy, I’m very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I am also very sorry that your coworkers didn’t reach out and acknowledge. That would make me very sad as well. I just don’t think people know what to say and believe by saying nothing because it’s more comfortable FOR THEM, that this is better. Remember you have our support here on this forum. I hope you feel better soon. Your Mom was lucky to have a daughter like you. Sending you a hug.
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I am very sorry for the loss of your mom.

I suppose that there could be several reasons why they weren’t attentive. Sometimes, people don’t know what to say. They feel awkward and decide not to say anything which is sad for you.

Or perhaps they haven’t loss anyone close to them and they don’t even understand the grief process themselves.

They may not be religious so they don’t see the importance of other’s beliefs.

The very least they could have done was to buy a sympathy card and have everyone sign it. I am sorry that they did not show common courtesy by doing this.

You can have a Mass said for the deceased at any time. I do this and many others do too. Accept that your co workers did not do it but please do it yourself.

I wish you peace during this difficult time of grief.

Know that your mom is at peace and she would want you to be at peace.

Take care. I will say a prayer for you and your mom’s soul. I will also light a candle for each of you.
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Cindy, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom. How blessed she was to have such a loving daughter.

Thinking of you.
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Cindy, I have to say I am so sorry for your loss. I work for a major hospital and was horrified to find my department didn;t even send out sympathy cards to employees. If one of the friends bought one fine,, but nothing from the department, And I started a plan to send them out. My previous employer sent flowers and the whole 9 yards. Maybe your department is the same? I also have to say I never heard of getting money donations for the family until I worked in Baltimore. Maybe this is "not a thing" in your area? Hopefully things will get better for you now that you are back to work
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Hope2009 Apr 2021
A sympathy card would have been a kind and thoughtful gesture. I wonder if kind responses are considered "old-fashioned" now?

Thirty years ago, I lost my brother unexpectedly, and took off work for 2 weeks or so. When I returned, my co-workers had signed a card and taken up a collection of about $700, which was 2+ weeks salary! I was so touched and grateful. This also happened with co-workers where I live now, when my father passed away in the mid-90s.

Five or six years ago, a co-worker who moved to a different state lost her sister unexpectedly. I was able to get her mailing address and sent her a card and some money. She was so amazed! I wonder if people just don't do that any more?
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