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I got a letter in the mail. My therapist said in writing:


I am not your therapist and will not resume as your therapist for either general mental health issues or fear of flying. You will not be on the wait list for flying and have been given other options such as soar. Only a new therapist can help with your depression, upset feelings and disappointment that I am not doing more to help you at this time. I have made a police report today for harassment through your continued unwanted phone calls, emails, letters, cards, driving by my house and in my neighborhood, and requests that I be your Facebook friend despite my denying prior requests.


What should I do about this letter? It is upsetting means depression me because I cannot keep in touch with my former therapist.

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Your only response to this letter should be to find a different therapist.
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You recognize that you can’t keep in touch with your therapist, accept it, and find a healthy way to move on.

Find another therapist. Try a few volunteer jobs to distract you. Take a leisurely walk or prepare yourself a healthy meal from a new recipe.

Do not stalk your former therapist.
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Cover999 May 2022
LOL
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Shirley, in a previous post you said therapist was retiring. Leave her alone, find a support group. Maybe a codependent group would help. You saw this therapist for ten years. Of course you have become attached, but you need to move on.

When was your last complete physical? It sounds like something is terribly out of balance. Do you go for a walk and get some exercise every day?

Anything new with your husband?
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You sound like a stalker... leave the poor therapist alone and find another.
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Shirley, call social services for your county and ask to speak to a social worker -- they can help you.

How is your husband doing? Do you need help caring for him? If so, also call social services.
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Dear responders,

Shirley occassionally posts the same question over and over but never responds to the comments. She and her husband are alone somewhere out on the east coast. Not sure what sort of shape he's in. Another participant on this forum has tried to get her help "behind the scenes" but to no avail. She is obviously having problems beyond what any of us can help her with, so it really is sort of pointless to leave comments, just FYI as this has been going on for several months, if not longer.

Actually, it may be a good thing if the therapist reports her as a stalker, as she (and her husband) may finally get on the radar of APS.

I suggest no further comments be left.
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cwillie May 2022
Thanks for the heads up, I never connected this to the previous posts.
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Some borderline personalities wear off the best therapists in the world. This forum could be the next victim.
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Reporting. This poster needs help. Maybe the police report will get her some help.
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OMG - reading this post and other posts from her before this makes me think this poor woman is beyond help. The mind is such a fragile thing. So sad.

Therapists on this forum, do you think someone like her can be helped and get better? Realistically?
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Becky04489 May 2022
She was in therapy for 10 years. As a psychologist I don't see therapy as open ended. I tend to have an early idea of how long it will take for progress. I also do not do a lot of one-on-one talk therapy. I like group sessions. Learn from the experiences of others. But I also don't subscribe to many of the trends in psychology to hash and rehash problems. I'm more a face it head on, get past it and move on type person.

My personal opinion is that this poster may have some cognitive decline and getting "well" may not happen. She, along with her "possible dementia" husband may need placement.
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Shirley, your therapist bluntly doesn’t care to have any connection with you anymore no matter what you do. Your being depressed is not her problem.
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"Fatal Obsession"
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If you think your life is hard now, you will be stunned when you end up in a mental institution for the criminally insane.

Leave this woman alone or face criminal prosecution.
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Shirley,

You have posted on and off for over 2 years without answering questions asked. You knew for a year that your therapist was retiring from the type of therapy she was doing. She told you to find a new therapist and I am sure gave you referrals. You must except that she no longer wants any contact with you.

To be blunt, you need a Psychiatrist who is capable of giving you medication that may help with your depression. The woman who was ur therapist is a Social Worker with a Masters. She holds no PHD or MD. I have a feeling she has been telling you for a while that you need more help than she is capable of giving.

This is now very serious. She is sending you a cease and desist letter. She has filed a police report for harassment. The next thing will be an Order of Protection which means if you contact her in any way you can be arrested.

I am so sorry but you need more help than she or we, as everyday people, can give you. Call your County Office of Aging and tell them you need help, NOW!
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ADMINS:
I am reporting my own post here and asking that Shirley be gently REMOVED from posting on Forum.
She has, if this is a real posting, passed from what she tells us is diagnosed depression into what looks to be clearly a dangerous obsessive and compulsive behavior that apparently her former therapist is very threatened by.
She is badly in need of help far beyond this Forum's expertise.
The attention that Shirley gets here with her posts may/can play into this behavior, thus worsening it. I feel she should be guided toward therapy and away from Social Media.
I worry for the therapist who was treating her and agree with Geaton that our answers here may in fact worsen a possibly real and possibly dangerous situation.
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TChamp May 2022
This is typical BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. It's not depression or OCD, they are treatable. Borderlines are untreatable. They alienate the people around them.
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Finda new therapist and leave the other one alone.
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Cover999 May 2022
Her previous one may have tried to do that.
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Your therapist has a life and it does not include you as a BFF.

Early on with my current therapist I asked her how I should act if I saw her in a social/public setting. She said I could smile & wave, but I should not encourage contact. And she does the same.

The relationship with a therapist is not 'friends'. It's a business relationship, tho that sounds cold.

The therapist has to draw boundaries and keep them. They cannot take the weight of their clients' issues home with them.

I'm sorry if you feel betrayed or shunted aside, but you MUST respect the therapist's stand. You could be arrested for harassment, and you do not want that.
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Went through this, though my former therapist did not retire, he started a new chapter in his therapy journey.

He told me ahead of time of his plans so I could find a new one (which I did). He offered to talk to the new therapist and share what we had talked about with my permission.

I found a new therapist who I am happy with, (he is just starting in the profession ) I do still keep in contact with my former therapist from time to time (he said he would like to hear from his former clients to see how they are doing).

My point is, your former therapist probably did something similar, help you find a new therapist and offer to talk to him/her on your behalf.

You should really leave her alone.
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When the police come to arrest you, will you then understand what it means to leave your therapist alone?? It may come to that, honestly, because you refuse to understand what it means to move on and stop being a nuisance, as if your problems OVERRIDE your therapists wishes and are more important! They aren't! You are out of line and will get arrested eventually.

You have the ability to compose a blog on a computer and to make yourself understood. Why then are you unable or unwilling to heed all the advice you've been given to date and keep pestering your therapist whose now called the POLICE???

You obviously have enough cognitive ability to use Facebook and computers which tells me you also have enough cognitive ability to KNOW what you are doing is WRONG. Yet you keep doing it, and asking for our advice which you then completely ignore.

Get a grip Shirley.
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