My 94-yr-old mom gets up every 1-2 hours and some of those times roams around. She ends up in the bathroom at least once a night, even though she has a commode by her bed. She also wears Depends 24/7.
The bathroom is all tiled, so there are all hard surfaces. I'd like to keep her out of there and make her use her commode, like she used to.
What can I do to keep her safe, as I can't make her stay in bed, and I can't get up every time she gets up. She ends up getting back in bed herself or in her chair, and pulls the blanket over herself and goes back to sleep. She can get up from the chair.
She uses a walker all the time, but at night tends to "cruise the furniture." She has never fallen doing this.
I'd like to make the room safe for her to continue doing this and possibly "lock" her bedroom door. But how can I do this safely?
She uses a button to set off a loud sound if she needs me. But she usually just does her thing and goes back to bed.
Any advise?
You can not "lock" her in the room, you know that.
You say she does not have dementia.
You can explain that if she gets up and wanders and falls she will end up in the hospital, then probably to rehab and at that point she may need more care than you can SAFELY manage at home.
If she understands this and she still gets up and wanders there is not much you can do. This is her choice to make.
She would do the same thing if she were living alone, in Assisted Living or if she had dementia and was in Memory Care.
What you do is wait. And hopefully nothing happens but you do need to have plans in place for the "just in case"
Speak to moms doctor about this and see what s/he has to say. And have Plan B in place as things progress.
Best of luck to you.
My mom's aphasia happened immediately after a stroke 8 years ago. She was able to live in an assisted living apt for over 4 years. We took her out during COVID as she was so isolated, and I started living with her full time. All that time, she was the same person, except that she couldn't talk.
My mom can't get the information from her brain out of her head (speaking or writing or drawing) So, I've tried very hard, with her, to come up with ways to communicate. And it works well. I feel like I live with Groot ("I am Groot" - you will know what that is if you saw the Guardians of the Galaxy
movie! LOL!)
If she tries to get out of the house, then a contact alarm device on the exterior doors would help. A decade ago, I bought two of them for around $12 (they were extremely easy to install) because my grandmother very occasionally left the house. They worked great. Whenever the front or back doors were opened, there was a distinct audible alarm.
However, she would regularly get up at night and walk around the house, and I never saw an issue with that behavior. I think it was self-soothing for her and something to do when she woke up in the middle of the night. It was never a concern for me or her hired caregivers, other than that she might try to go outside.
I know how easy it is to go down the rabbit hole of what-ifs, but I think caregivers have to work with what-is, or they make themselves crazy. No one can protect against everything they can imagine their Loved One getting up to while unsupervised... however... if there is zero history of something, then please don't worry that a new behavior will suddenly crop up. It might. And you'll deal with it then.
I'm trying to be reassuring and comforting; how am I doing? :)
Others have mentioned childproof knobs. I get that locking someone in a room is a fire risk, but childproofing a home isn't considered a fire risk and is commonly done. Question for the forum: Childproof locks on windows and doors are safety recommendations for parents; what is the difference for elders with/without dementia?
*AllAloneMe, I'm very interested in what communication adjustments have helped with your mom. Can you describe what you're doing to help her? I'm in an MS for behavior analysis and want to practice with gerontology clients. I'd be very grateful to learn more about what you're doing to help your mom communicate better post-stroke.
**You could put a contact alarm on the bathroom door. After a little bit of experience with the new alarm, that might be enough to get her to avoid going in there when she's up, and she will use her commode if she has to go.
It’s also quite soothing to watch the display change, minute by minute. And to work out how the 7-segment display works. Three options are reversible, down-side up and side to side (0, 1 and 8). Two are reversible down-side up (2 and 5). Two make different numbers down-side up (6 and 9). Three are hopeless (3, 4 and 7). Such fun!
It might help your M, to know the time and have something to occupy her mind while she stays in bed.
the use of Melatonin or other OTC sleep aids can increase the risk of falls so I would avoid them.
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