Follow
Share

I take care of my dad who has dementia that causes anger. He has stage 3 kidney disease and should be drinking at least 6 glasses of water per day. He refuses water, and basically any fluids. This is a constant battle. I have had to call the paramedics out at least 3 times this month because he gets dehydrated. Flavored water does not help. He will not drink tea or soda. Please help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I wouldn’t try to get him to drink soda that’s not really good for your kidneys either. Try the flavored bottled waters he might like that especially if you add fruit to it
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

NobodyGetsIt,
Can't send you a message. Did you change your profile page?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Sep 2020
Hi "earlybird,"

Yes, I don't have a profile page anymore. I will send you a message today! :)
(0)
Report
It is insane but there are people who simply will NOT drink water. Nothing can force them. This is something the medical profession will have to figure out - you won't succeed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

LauraMay,
May I refer you to other numerous posts on this topic?

Hydration Tips for Seniors
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/221/hydration
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Can you give him some peanut butter? or some nut butter? He'll want water then. Don't 'make it a battle.' Pushing, insisting likely won't help and may make him grind his feet more firmly in the ground = his position.
Watermelon sounds really good. I use a bullet and love it. Or get a juicer. The entire watermelon, skins and all, go in and get all the nutrition. p.s. I don't like watermelon although I do like the juice. I also love cantaloupe. I think it turns green or something pretty. A juicer [or my preference, a bullet] is great for your dad - and you. I have a very good recipe I 'drink' most days, includes ginger root and garlic. Just a little. and much more. If you want it the recipe, please let me know.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
shad250 Sep 2020
Isn't peanut butter to be avoided with kidney disease?
(0)
Report
Richard is also bad at drinking, a big part of his current issue may be dehydration. He does like things really COLD, he ordered an ice machine by mail and it is now in his living room, only feet away from where he normally sits, He also asked me to get an ice shaver/sno cone machine, and had been requesting slushies made with that. It will use frozen juices as well, so I started freezing the leftovers from each can of diet soda and then grinding them back up to keep the drinks from diluting. He is selective about flavors, hates lemon and strawberry, prefers orange, root beer, or cola. Another poster on a different thread had the idea that, as they take their meds, give each pill with a "shot glass" of water, if the person is taking 8 meds, that is 8 oz right there!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi NobodyGetsIt,
My mom loves the new peach mango drink, I just thicken it up a bit. She smiles when I give it to her. I also gave her the strawberry banana today. I had a glass of the peach mango, very tasty.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Sep 2020
Dear "earlybird,"

I'm so glad your mom loves the peach/mango drink and that you liked it as well. That's nice too that you can thicken it up so it's the consistency she's able to drink.

I just took my mom another 12-pack of the peach/mango as she just finished the orange/pineapple.

But most of all I'm so glad it puts a smile on her face when you give it to her and I'm sure you love that too!

Hugs to both you and your mom! :)
(1)
Report
Hello NobodyGetsIt,
I purchased V8 peach mango today, wondering if I should wait until the strawberry banana is finished before opening this one. What do you think? I am so glad my mother has this option. It thickens to a good consistency. So happy my mom can have this. The Splash drink sounds good too. Thanks so much, fluids are getting easier for my mom to consume. Hugs to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Hi "earlybird,"

Good, the Peach/Mango is our favorite! I buy the 6 or 12 pack cans (they're thin and skinny and easy to drink with a straw). If you bought the big bottle, I'm wondering if you bought the V8 "Fusion" drink. I would finish the strawberry banana unless you go through it pretty fast (it will keep in the fridge for 10-14 days according to some information I read). If that's the case you could go ahead and open the peach/mango as well and switch back and forth. Otherwise, if she only drinks a little at a time, I would finish the one before opening the other. That's why I like the little cans because I can keep a variety in the fridge without worrying about spoilage.

The Nestle "Splash" drink is more like a water with a hint of flavoring. Two totally different types of drinks.

I'm so glad that your mom is finding fluids easier to consume and I hope you both will continue to enjoy these drinks. It's always nice to have a variety!

Hugs to you too!
(1)
Report
I agree with many of the helpful answers here. There's no reason to fight it. Find alternatives. Watermellon is a great idea. Does he like peaches? How about jello? Find any juicy fruit he likes and give him that, or any other liquidy, food that he likes. Milkshakes? Whatever he likes. Hydration is the issue, not water specifically.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My husband has the same issue. Recently purchased V8 with electrolytes slightly fruity and not filled with sugar. He likes them. Also you can buy electrolytes capsules to dissolve in a drink. Try Amazon.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Drs prescribed a thickener for my Mom, she had trouble swallowing and the thickener made it easier. You could add flavors so it would be more like a smoothie or pudding.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I give my 98 year old mother-in-law Pedialyte. She likes it and will drink more of it than water. It comes in several flavors. I do have water next to her at all times in one of those termo tumblers; they keep the water nice and cold all day.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "Christiane,"

What an excellent idea - I would have never thought of that! I'm going to look into it the next time I go to the store and add it to the other drinks I buy her. Thank you so much!
(1)
Report
does he like watermelon? if so......that has water in it and might help.  how about cranberry juice that could be watered down a little bit.  I think a lot of older people just don't drink enough cause "they have to go to the bathroom a lot"........I know my mom (93) doesn't drink enough, I have to remind her now and then.  I tell her "you don't want to get another kidney/bladder infection like you had before"  (she was in a lot of pain at 4 am).  maybe a flavored slushy if he likes those things.  not sure if applesauce would be good or not.  Sure wishing you luck on this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "wolflover451,"

You mentioned a good point about a lot of older people don't want to drink too much because they will have to go to the bathroom frequently especially when they have incontinence issues. I have often wondered if that's why my 95 year old mom doesn't want to drink a lot. She was like that old commercial "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now." Even when she was in her mid-80's and we were out somewhere, I had to make several emergency bathroom stops. I think it's stressful for her thinking she might not be able to hold it long enough until she gets to the bathroom.
(3)
Report
His body is not giving him the signal that he should drink.

As he goes through the process of going from today towards the last day of his life - are you going to fight him at every turn?

You are allowing a lot of stress into your life.
Do you believe that he will magically become a 35 year old again?

Do you believe that - one day, he will die? It is natural that this is a process.

As we are entering the autumn of the year, do you not see evidence around you of a slowing of this life - making the new life of spring?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
TomUs225 Aug 2020
Those are all valid questions and comments. My husband was always a big water drinker so when that slowed down and then stopped I was horrified. It was at the end of a 15+ year illness and I, too transported him to the hospital for hydration and tried all the things that have been mentioned to get fluid down him. It finally hit me that after all this time he was tired of the whole thing. Not only would he not drink, he wouldn’t eat or take his lengthly list of meds. It was at this point I had to accept this was his way of letting me know he was ready to go and to let him. Which was a very difficult decision to make. So from that point (called in hospice) he didn’t have to eat, drink, or take meds or see doctors. I asked if he would drink just a sip or two, eat a couple of bites or sips of liquid protein and whatever he said was what we did. He lived happily for another week and a half. I’m telling OP this for them to be on the lookout for this even if her dad isn’t at this point now.
(4)
Report
something else I thought of this evening - give him a "cap" on the amount to drink - tell him "you need to get 3 good swallows and then we'll take a break". Count down, and I find this often to be helpful when I tell my mom that. She seems to understand it and doesn't usually balk at it then.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I find alkalized water at room temperature is the easiest to drink lots of. It also hydrates better, so less is more. Fresh squeezed lemon or lime is a great way to alkalize the water.

My 90 yr old friend has to be reminded to have some water, even when we are out and about in 115° weather. She worries about having to use the bathroom to frequently and doesn't feel thirsty, double whammy for staying hydrated. I just remind her frequently and that helps.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Google videos on utube on what happens to the body and mind if you get dehydrated and see if you can get him to watch it with you. If not play it loud make sure he hears it loud and clear.😊
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Imho, H2O is best when cold. That said, bottled water or water with ice cubes is certainly more appealing than tap water. Also, may I suggest the product called "Hint." It is bottled water with an ever-so-slight "hint" of flavoring, e.g. watermelon, mint, cherry and a lot more. I, myself, was not consuming much water and my DH purchased the Hint for me.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I hate to say this but I have to because it is the honest truth. Everyone knows the value of being hydrated and drinking fluids but some people, no matter what the reasons, are simply NOT going to cooperate and even with the tried and true methods. Then I have to say this - You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Look at the situation the same way. There is really nothing you can do so they make their bed and now you have to let them lie in it and let the chips fall where they will.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hello NobodyGetsIt,
Thanks for the recommendation about the Splash drink. I am going to get that as well. It will be nice for my mom to try different beverages. I appreciate the help and I will certainly keep you updated. Your mother will be 96 on Valentine's day, how nice. Hope she is doing well.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
"earlybird,"

I'm glad you liked the "Splash" recommendation and yes, please let me know what you both think about them. I too, like to give my mom variety! :)
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Use bendy straws in glasses with lids. My dad liked liquids with colors. Hot cocoa with whipped cream was a reward after bathing. Fruit...
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Jello, popsicles, thicken fruit juice, lots of soups, decaf coffee and smoothies. Anything that has liquids in it can up his fluid intake. If it is a "thickness" issue, try thickeners that are used to help stroke patients. The consistency can be from honey to thickness of pudding.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

you might try liquid stevia - it comes in so many flavors, and my mom likes the sweet taste. She's actually pretty good at drinking her water - 96, dementia, but drinks about 40 oz per day which is often more than I get down myself. We learned the hard way, dehydrated and a week in the hospital and 3 wks in rehab, to figure out a way to get it down.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "sbwcare,"

I'd say your mom is doing very good to drink nearly 40 oz per day at 96 with dementia. I too have a hard time meeting the daily requirements for water intake so I'm reading the suggestions not just for her but, for me as well! Also my mom, who is almost 96 with Alzheimer's, was in the hospital in April from severe dehydration (and nearly died) along with COVID. She was in rehab for three weeks too but, has never been the same since and is now under hospice care at a new facility in their memory care wing.
(0)
Report
Have you tried just leaving some fluid on a table near him? I worried about my mom not eating and my neighbor who had taken care of her elderly mother suggested that I just put her food on her tray that she used and she would eat when she was ready. I did and mom ate when she was ready. I think it's that we think we are asking and being sweet and they probably think we're Always be sure to hug and kiss him tell him you love him.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I have been giving my 97 year old mother coconut water, pure and no additives, lemonade, fruit drinks no added sugar and a protein shake. She likes the sweet tastes of these drinks, and is now drinking more fluids. She is up to almost 40oz per day, which is great for her. Depending on the recommendation from his doctor these might be good alternatives to water.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "earlybird,"

Aside from the V8 Energy + drinks I told you about earlier, another good one I've recently tried is the Nestle brand "Splash" - a natural flavored water beverage, with 0 sugars and 5 calories. I've been buying them for my mom and I drink them too. They come in Lemon, Acai Grape, Mandarin Orange and Wild Berry. Sometimes I mix them with half regular water to lighten it up a bit. I've tried two of the flavors so far - I like the Wild Berry the best and then the Mandarin Orange. At 97 your mom is doing great drinking 40 oz everyday with the items you've been giving her! My mom will be 96 on Valentine's Day.
(3)
Report
My 96 yr old Dad has the same problem of not wanting to drink water but he also does not want to go to the Hospital so, I keep a water bottle beside him and every 30 min tell him Dr says to take a drink of water si he doesn't hVe to go to the Hospital.

Then, what ever fluids he does like give to him.. my Dad likes Milk so offer him a breakfast bar, ect with a little glass of milk every couple hours.

Also, serve more food with liquid like Soup.

Give him a liquid breakfast shake everyday.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "bevthegreat,"

I would use the same tactic with my mom telling her she would end up in the hospital again if she became severely dehydrated. For her she would forget but now that she's at a new facility in their memory care unit, they always have fluids next to her. Prior to COVID when she lived in an ALF, I would bring drinks but, couldn't make sure she had them in front of her even if I told her over the phone - she either would forget or just wouldn't do it.
(1)
Report
Hi! I had this issue with both parents. Dad wouldn't drink until I purchased a cool new Yeti. Then it became a game - like a challenge to see if he could top the number of times he emptied it on a daily basis. Suddenly wasn't an issue but more of a routine. When he became to weak to hold the Yeti, we replaced it with a child' sippy cup that he could not spill or ding. Mom was a different story. She had dementia and not being her favorite, no matter what I did she would not drink. It wasn't that she resisted drinking - it was that she resisted me. So I fixed it. I bought a "special" water" bottle and told her it was a gift from her favorite son Teddy. Then I told him what I did. So when he called (because that's pretty much ALL the effort he made towards her care) he would ask her if she was using his gift. To please him, she would drain that thing 6 to 8 times a day. LOL. Watch out though. Teddy got credit for everything and I had him "fix" all of her problems. Now he drives a new pick up truck and has access to her bank account.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
Momsablessing Aug 2020
Teddy should know better but you'll get the pretty wings in Heaven. I hope he at least thanks you. If that worked that is best for her that's what is most important.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
Feeding tube. It was the only thing left when my mom did not drink enough. They require a considerable amount of care. However, it kept my mom's needs met and she did not have to die of dehydration which can take weeks. Mom never attempted to pull it and I bought a women's wear tube top (on Amazon) instead of an abdominal binder, which was comfortable for mum.

Revoke hospice, back on regular Medicaid. Get it done (only takes 10 minutes or less) in hospital, then back home and good to go! On discharge, get her back on hospice. Watch for complications..but with GOOD CARE of the tube those are very rare.

Mom did great with it. She did not die of Alzheimer's. Other natural causes. Because of the feeding tube she made it to 90. and she was well cared for.

I checked daily residuals and when she started retaining I knew she was dying as she was no longer digesting as her body was shutting down. Only then I stopped the tube feedings and water flushes. She died a few days later. That was a big change since normally she would digest everything.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Loss of renal function is painful and scary for both of you.

i understand the doctors are recommending his kidneys stay flushed, but because your Dad’s kidneys are not processing properly, he is instinctively rejecting the water and can’t help that it repulses him. If he seems difficult, remember that he feels absolutely terrible.

When I was in your situation, I felt very impatient, frustrated and hopeless.

Praise your dad every time he takes small sips. He may respond best to this positive interaction. Be very patient and calm.

Thr kidney problems (along with the dehydration, electrolytes, etc.) are compounding his confusion.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "ACaringDaughter,"

Great comment and you certainly are living up to your "screenname"!
(1)
Report
A lot of things count as fluids such as smoothies, sherbet, jello, pudding, applesauce and soups. Certainly this will be very hard getting enough volume in him. Give him a beer? Anything will help at this point. My dad was on a fluid restricted diet and all these items had to be counted. Does he like being in the hospital? Good ideas in responses below.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "InFamilyService,"

Ahhh, sherbert/sherbet - what a great idea. I normally, buy my mom ice cream but, the flavors she used to eat a long time ago have nuts in them and I've tried not to give her nuts for dental reasons. I can't wait to go get that for her instead of just vanilla ice cream.

This thread reminds me that "pooling" everyone's thoughts and ideas is what is the most helpful to those who are on the forum seeking help/advice!
(4)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter