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What a great question! I was the caregiver for both my Mom and husband, both gone now. Although I’m only 59 years young, it made me really think of my future.
After caring for both of them I changed my diet for the better, went Keto/low carb, got away from allopathic sick care and take zero prescriptions. Get plenty of excerise both mentally and physically and have been getting ready to downsize.
Im lucky to have gained so much experience as I know what will be needed and am working to having things in place, before they are needed.
My daughter lives abroad, so basically I am not counting on her help and am on my own.
I have two friends in their mid 80’s who are in complete denial that they need help and refuse to make any changes to make their lives easier and think I’m nuts for planning ahead I see this a few ways, ignorance is bliss and that in these crazy times you can not afford not to prepare. I’m going with the latter.
Like walk in showers with seating, raised toilets, stair less homes or condos you get the idea. I’m doing what I can afford now rather than wait, so when I hit those golden years I can sit back, relax and enjoy them.
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Screennamed Oct 2020
Diet is the most under-recognized factor in our lives, we've been programmed to rely on others for our "food," supply which has had catastrophic results.
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Great question. Great advice. Thank you for asking. We all have to face this reality at some point.
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All good advice. As Polarbear said, diet is a biggie.

The ketogenic diet has helped improve the metabolism of many people. Consider researching it. You might find it helpful.
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Maybe call your friend when you are getting in shower and getting out and she can do same for you. If she doesn’t get call back she will know you are in trouble and call 911 for you. Better than laying on floor for days
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I think you are being very proactive with your future. There are many good tips here but I am wondering whether you might consider moving closer to your family. You might need temporary help with a short term problem or more supervision as you age. Or look into aging communities. Not the kind where you give them all your money, but the kind that are like communes.

I am 67 and my husband is 70. We are healthy and mobile. But having just gone thru several years of dealing with his parents, we are in the process of purging our house and moving closer to our daughter. Not super close yet. But a 4 hour drive versus a 2200 mile trip. We have assets to care for ourselves but I would like to see her more often. My son is currently living abroad.

My husband is not very social but we might consider an aging community in the next 10 years as well. I think being able to socialize is part of good health.
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JoAnn29 Oct 2020
Is your daughter all for the move? Does she work? Is she willing to help when the time comes? My Mom had 3 children, one only 30 min away but I did it all.
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I am 71 and at this point no major health problems. I worked as a secretary for our local Visiting Nurses. I was in charge of our durable equipment loan closet so I will give you a few tips.

If dizzy, have a shower chair in the tub. A light weight one with a back. Buy a hand held shower head. If you can afford it, have bars installed in the bathtub/shower. If not and the surface is smooth, you can get temporary suction bars. If tile the suction surface has to be on the smooth part of the tile. Some members don't recommend them. I had a man pull on them for me and they did not come off the wall. For my friend, I went to the dollar store. They had soap dishes and cup/tooth brush holders with suction cups. I put them on the same level as her shower chair. The toothbrush holder held her shaver and bottle of shampoo. She had a hard time getting up from her toilet. I put a commode over the toilet. The back bar screws off so can easily slide over the toilet. I got her a splash guard that takes place of the bucket. The commode can be adjusted for height and you have arms to help you boost yourself up and the legs for stability.

I would call your County Office of Aging and ask if they can evaluate you and your home. There maybe be grants that would help you and resources.

I agree, dizzyness is not normal. You need to get a good physical labs and all.
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First, try to carefully and thoroughly study to find out why you are having dizziness.Dizziness is definitely not a sign of aging. Could something you are or are not doing be causing dizziness?Perhaps, some undiagnosed health condition is causing it. On the other hand, perhaps a medicine and or medicines could be causing it. Obviously, a person with any bouts of dizziness of any kind cannot safely manage without at least some daily help.Severe vitamin and or mineral deficiencies cause dizziness and other nervous system problems.You need a very caring and competent doctor to help you find out what the problem is. I am 86, healthystrong, med free, and pain free, and thankfully dizziness free.I was working full time until age 73 and feeling strong and well in every way.I believe my healthy diet of lots of daily home grown and or organic berries, fruits, and veggies plus daily olive oil, minced garlic, and apple cider vinegar along with daily whole eggs and whole milk preserved and protected my health. However, I also threw away prescriptions for lipitor, vicodin, thiazide, and fosomax without ever filling them.Statins and diuretics drain nutrients from the body and definitely could cause dizziness.Some beta blockers also can cause dizziness. May God bless you and guide you to excellent diagnoses and help.
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Screennamed Oct 2020
Your 86 years illustrated in your post, shows an insight that many will benefit from. Most aren't provided insight into dangers of popular prescriptions, such as statins, which are liver killers,
I had a co-worker [doctor M.D.] who said he had failed to recognize a patient's statin direct drug interaction DDI, Later, he said he who prescribed statins, based on "junk," a pharmaceutical company sent him.

The "pharma database" would cite one-liners from research articles, pulling sentences out of context, to justify utilization (prescriptions) of statins--> his wording used, He said he changed his perspective, when he was prescribed a statin, by his doc. The effects he experienced ended-up being a "very educational experience."
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Hi Winnie
Your question is such a good one. I have so much I would like to share with you on the subject. I find it difficult to net it out but I will try.
Read the book “Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande.
Its not going to talk about baths but will help give you an overview of aging in the US and some scenarios of seniors and decisions they made that Dr Gawande uses to help us ferrett out what’s important to our aging loved ones.
Look Up IADLs and ADLs. These are the Instrumental Activities of Daily Living and then Activities of Daily Living that the various medical entities use to determine how well a person is functioning. The IADLs are necessary to live independently in the community. Many elders think they are living independently when actually they are dependent on caregivers to maintain that status. That’s an important distinction for anyone wanting to age in place.

The health issues you mention need to be addressed with your primary doctor. While you do that, ask for an occupational and/or physical therapist to come to your home for an evaluation. Your insurance should cover this cost depending on whether you have a traditional or Medicare advantage plan.

Make life as simple and automatic as possible with your auto draft bill paying, to the grocery deliveries, to a geriatric primary doc., a good housekeeper, a gardener, a pharmacy that delivers. All services that are necessary to keep your life humming along.

Downsize and edit your belongings with an eye out for safety and ease of maintenance.

Also contact your Area Agency on Aging. Each county has one. See what services you might qualify for now or in the future. You can look over their website for general information.

Check out a medical alert system.

Last I would suggest a visit to a certified elder attorney well versed in Medicaid rules for your state. Make sure all your medical and financial paperwork is in good order, your end of life plans made. Choose wisely on your POA for finances and medical. If you made your documents up years ago, be sure to double check them to make sure they are all still in good order and that your agents are still the right choice for you.

As you wisely noted, it’s not going to get better. It will never be as easy as it is now to take action.
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My 1st step would be to see a doctor and find out why I am having dizzy spells. This is not normal aging and should be checked out.

If your doctor will, have them write a prescription for some occupational therapy and they will help you modify your home to make it safer for you as you age. Be honest and ask them specifically for what you are looking for, they are pretty amazing at seeing hidden dangers.

Polar bears information is spot on and addresses some of the issues that an OT will address.
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Dear "winniebe,"

That's great that you are seeking advice now in order to prepare for your future of trying to take care of yourself.

Along with "polarbear's" many helpful suggestions you may want to peruse AgingCare's site on all kinds of topics by going to the top of this page and clicking on "care topics" located on the bluish/teal bar. Everything is by alphabetical order so you could read either articles on bathing/showering for example and it will also direct you to discussions that have been done on the topic of your choosing from other forum members.

Hopefully, you will find some helpful tips there as well as other people who will be commenting.

Best wishes to you!
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I so agree with Polar Bear that the key is health.
Age is really almost irrelevant these days. I am 78 and my partner is 80 and we are both very active and pro-active. I would say that the biggest thing I notice with aging is that those friends who stay physically active stay more well. As a nurse I knew early on when I had 80 year old patients put on "bedrest" by their doctors, that not moving around was actually "feared"; they would say "I have to move or I won't be ABLE to move".
So keep walking. Exercise both "balance exercises" and strength (my partner keeps at it with archery). Exercise wonderful for the bones, ligaments and muscles, joints, digestion--for EVERYTHING. Wear good footwear. Be careful with stairs.
You mention "dizziness". That's not really "normal" at almost any age, so check it out with your doctor. Sometimes when we are older we go into office, get high blood pressure reading, get doled out a mess of blood pressure pill, and when home our pressure returns to normal, then LOWER than normal and dizziness is the result. I take meds for chronic atrial fib for more than two decades, so I take my own pressure twice daily because of a medication I have to take.
Friends are a wonderful support as well as a joy to have. So whether through a church group if you are a believer, or a club if you read or knit, or a senior center, try to stay engaged, share, and share in times of need what you can give/what you may receive. There is a senior center near me that serves lunch. Not for me but friends go just for companionship.
I walk, garden, read, visit (when covid isn't about), do "social media" like this, and any number of other things. We foster to place dogs now, having lost the last of our elder dogs, and not wanting to burden children with any in future. We occ. babysit for neighbors dogs; keeps you walking.
I can't know what assets you have saved, but if we do live so long then ALF can be the way to go for companionship, safety and help in future. There are the "Village" groups, if you are familiar with them, and near a city big enough to have them, which provide support.
Good luck. I think you are doing the thinking about all of this that we ALL do. That is to say, next time the toilet needs replacing I will get the taller model!
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Also, I have some suggestions on showering safely. These are what I have for my mother.

A shower chair so you can sit in the tub.
A non slip mat to put on the floor of the tub.
A handheld shower head so you clean yourself well.
Grab bars in and around the tub and bathroom where you hands naturally reach for support.
A non slip bath mat.

Recently, there's a thread that discusses modifications/additions to the home to help aging parents stay in place safely. I'll look for it. If I find it, I'll post a link.

I'm sure other posters will have more suggestions for you.
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ArtistDaughter Oct 2020
Exactly what I was going to say.
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Hi winniebe -

I found a couple of websites that talk about aging gracefully and tips on how to maintain your health. The biggest factor of aging gracefully is good health, and the keys to good health are exercise and good diet.

Here are the links to the websites.

https://www.success.com/your-self-care-guide-to-aging-gracefully/

https://sixtyandme.com/how-to-easily-get-help-when-caring-for-yourself-as-an-aging-woman/
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