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This starts about 6:30pm every night. I'm having a hard time dealing with these questions "Where is KL, she was here, where did she go?"
KL is her daughter who lives in Ohio for 6 yrs and is married ..same question her mom ..(who's been deceased for 15 yrs). She wants to leave the house to go look for them. It seems that every night she "sees" someone who's not here..and if she's in her night clothes she changes back to street clothes..AND last but not least she thinks I'm a friend living with her and her husband lives somewhere else and wants to go live with him..She constantly argues that we are not married and she owns the house. As a result we both lose a lot of sleep during this ordeal PLEASE HELP !

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It's hard to say how long the sundowning phase will last. This pattern of agitation & confusion may continue for several months and often happens in the middle and later stages of dementia. My mother is 94 and acts in a very similar way to your wife, and has been doing so for months now. She insists she needs to go see her mama, papa & siblings across the country (who are all deceased) and as many times as she's told it's not possible, she again says she's going. I suggest to her that she watch some TV, preferably a comedy, and have a snack to relax a bit after telling her it's not possible to leave the building right now (she lives in Memory Care Assisted Living).

You may want to contact your wife's doctor to see if he'd like to prescribe some calming meds to help her during this period of time when she struggles. Many here on the site have said that CBD oil works wonders for their loved one; I tried it for my mother (without THC) and it did nothing. I think the THC is the key, though.

Here is a link to a good article about how to deal with sundowning symptoms and create a more relaxing environment for those who suffer:


https://medilodgeofludington.com/announcement/10-tips-to-recognize-reduce-sundowning-delirium-in-dementia-patients/

Lastly, you may have to consider Memory Care Assisted Living at some point if her care becomes too much for you to handle alone, as it often does. Many people just don't understand the magnitude of care that's required for elders suffering from ALZ/dementia, and what a huge toll it takes on the loved one who's doing the care giving. At the very least, hire some in home help to give you some respite.

Good luck!
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