Last year my father (aged 79) started to have chronic UTIs. He was hospitalised about 4 times in 1.5 months becuase there was a lot of blood. He experienced delirium while hospitalised and grew weaker and thinner over time. Last week he fell while home alone and hit his head so badly that he needed stitches. He also fractured some ribs. Fortunately my mother came home in time to catch him; otherwise it could have easily been fatal. He has been in the hospital for a few days and will go to a rehab facility for a period of time. His delirium is now much worse. My mother, on the other hand, is quite active and has fully mental capabilities at the age of 74. She has more energy than I do in my 30s! But I fear my dad cannot live at home if he is now prone to falls and possibly cognitive-decline. Is it normal for one parent to go into assisted living?
Follow up question: Do UTIs cause dementia or does dementia cause UTIs? No one has really explained this to me.
As for the UTI's, for some reason they can cause weird cognitive effects in older people, unless dementia was already present generally this doesn't last long once the infection is treated.
Did they do a culture. If Dad is worse it could be the antibiotic they are using. Moms had penicillin in it and she was sensitive to it. A change of antibiotic perked her right up. UTIs are serious in men. They seem to get septic easier than woman. If he pulls thru this, a cranberry tablet a day and a probiotic may help. Plenty of water. Also would have his prostrate checked out.
To keep your Dad home and safe, do you have any other family members or close trusted friends that can stay with your father for safety while your Mom leaves the house? My Father in law signed up for an Eddy program that came to the house, picked him up and brought him to their facility for the day (like an adult daycare), and brought him home at the end of the day. It ran M-F and he did not have to go every day, but he could if he wanted. A suggestion of options to keep him home and safe if you would like to go that route.
UTI's can cause confusion, they do not "cause" Dementia.
I think as we age and so much else is going on we may not notice a UTI and if you are already cognitively impaired missing cues of a UTI is easy. (I am, I think, "with it" but I got a call from my doctor's office telling me to go pick up a prescription, they detected a UTI after some lab work. I had no idea that I had a UTI!) So some may have symptoms of a UTI while other times there are no symptoms.
If your mom is presently totally independent where she lives, she should be the deciding vote in what she will do with her continuing independence.
If by choice she prefers to move with Dad, her wishes should be accepted as her choice.
To sum up- please express your opinions with love and concern, and I’ll consider them, but if I (or my spouse for that matter)is cognitively intact when a decision needs to be made about where we should be, we’ll make it!